More then 1 Cross Dresser in the family

[Rosemary]

Hello there everyone

I started the following thread in alt.support.crossdressing and only got one person to answer. She has been great with repsonse but I was really looking for more feedback if I can get it.......

"My female name is Mary, and I live in Sydney Australia.

I was just trying to find out whether there are any others out there who belong to a family which has more than 1 cross dresser or Tranvestite.

I grew up secretly knowing that my father was into wearing ladies clothes, especially underwear, and got used to it fairly easily. He's my dad and I love him, but it was tough at times and I never told him I knew about his fetish. Unfortunately my mum couldn't handle it and eventually they divorced.

Soon after dad left home I began to find myself getting turned on by the thought of wearing feminine clothes as well, and before long I
found myself cross dressing regularly.

I am wondering whether I should come out to my family, but more importantly should I let my father know that I too am crossdressing.

I like the thought of telling him but I don't know how to go about it.

I would realy appreciate any advice especially from people in the same situation."

Thanks everyone for reading."

With the help of the one reply I got on the newsgroup s I have since made up a plan to tell my father but I am still interested in other people's thought as well.

Mary

[DonnaT]

Hi Mary, seems to me you could just say, "Dad, we need to talk. . ."

No need to beat around the bush, when you are sure he is also a CD.

[Billijo49504]

THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE, Is the saying, but it sure is tuff. But it is probably the best way to go. Try something like, sit down dad I got something to tell you. And you aren't going to believe it.
But in reallity, you have to do what works for you. Any way, welcome and realize here are some of the nicest people you will ever meet. They will laugh with you and they will give you a shoulder to cry on. I hope you enjoy this forum and people as much as I do...BJ

[emmicd]

I would imagine there is that possibility of crossdressing being passed on in family genetics but I don't know any real incidence of it.

I did remember 2 stories though that had crossdressing and more serious tones , one involving twin boys in united states and one involving triplets in france.

In theses cases with the twin boys they both grew up close and they both crossdressed. They are also transsexual and did become females.

In the case with the triplets 2 of the 3 boys also crossdressed and they also became females as they were also diagnosed as transsexuals.
The other boy never crossdressed and has no contact with his now 2 sisters.

Good Luck with your decision.

emmi

[Rita Farie]

Mary,
Yes, I have a 32 year old married son who is a crossdresser and he is a member of this forum.
He has posted pictures in the past and that is how I found out about his cross dressing.
He doesn't know about me (I Think) and thats why I never post my pictures.
I belive it would be very embarrassing for him if he knew, I know.

Rita

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

I've heard of a couple of cases where there were brothers or fathers/sons who were CDs. Generally when one or both were out in public, had websites, etc. and the other ran across them.

So there's probably more cases where people are closeted and never discover each other.

[Raychel]

I have a brother in-law, and uncle on my mothers side.

[Rosemary]

Thankyou all

I plan to tell my dad while I'm staying over at his place during the holidays. I know I'll have to pick the moment and the right way to do it, but I think I have the right approach in mind.

Now he's moved away from home I'm sure he dresses up a lot, but hides it when I visit because he doesn't want to embarass me or lose my respect. Even if I wasn't crossdressing myself there is no way he'd lose my respect and love. He's a great guy.

I don't want him to feel he has to hide it from me any longer which is why I will come out to him. As far as my mum and sisters go, well that's going to be hard too because I just know my mum would blame my father for the way I am. I'm thinking of not telling them at all because of that.

As far as more than one crossdresser in the family goes, it's great to finaly see that there are others, although I don't really know why I am attracted to girl's clothing and stuff, the same as my father, maybe it's just a fluke.

Thanks again:)

Mary.

[Tiffany Tuesday]

Rosemary,

i know of one TS with a CD father, both nice people, they love each other though the "daughter" is a bit shocked at her "mother's" style. Tri-ess would faint at how either dresses :eek:

What i wanted to say to you is, many CD's are exceedingly shy and embarrassed about their dressing and could be exceedingly hurt, shocked and defensive even possibly aggressive if suddenly confronted by it in the open.

I'd suggest you be subtle and diplomatic .. say by taking along a sweet or funny tgirl dvd to watch together like Ma Vie En Rose or The Crying Game then reveal that you like being feminine and cross dress .. then let him tell you about himself in his own time, rather than you reveal you know already.

best of luck honey x

[Julie York]

What Tiffany said....

Just because YOU know doesn't mean your Father wants you to know.

If you feel the desire to come out that badly then that's your choice but I'd keep what you really know to yourself until your Father chooses to reveal anything...if at all!

He is a different generation and may still feel very guilty and ashamed, especially if his son found out so I'd keep it to yourself.

Good luck.

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Rosemary
I agree with Julie

You knowing and telling him you know are not the same.

I suspect my children know but I dont ever expect them to tell me tha.t

Whatever happens dont tell him you know, unless he asks if you knew before you were told by him.

Only if its something you really have to do, as regards telling your father you dress, before I'd suggest you consider mentioning it.

[amykins GG]

I agree with what Tiffany said. He may not want you to know. I would imagine there are some "girls" here who would rather her dressing be a secret even if it were accepted.

I will also add so much of it depends on the type of man our father is. I have never understood father son relationships. So many fathers seem so aloof and indeifferant about thier children until it is too late and they have grown apart.

I don't mean to be judgemental but it just doesn't seem like fathers have the same unconditional love as a mother. please don't beat me up to much for having that opinion.

[RebeccaLynne]

Hi Rosemary, I believe I'm the only CD in my family, and have been careful to keep it a closely guarded secret. To my knowledge, only my ex-wife is aware of my "hobby", and I've shared it with no one else. How close is your relationship with your father? If it is on solid ground, I like Tiffany's suggestion of viewing a movie together to "test the waters" and provide an opening to discuss the subject. In addition to her selections, I'd like to also recommend "Different For Girls","Tootsie", or "Sorority Boys"as suitable "icebreakers". These are all light-hearted fare, enabling you to gauge his comfort level with the topic prior to broaching the subject. Please consider all the advice you receive on this forum as valuable, as I've determined that our sisters here are genuinely concerned with each other's happiness and will open their hearts to you. Best Wishes, RebeccaLynne

[Rosemary]

Thanks for all the suggestions everyone, you are all really cool people from what I've read so far. It's great to be able to talk here.:)

Before they divorced, my dad came out to my mum. He was dressing up a lot, but never in front of me or my sister's. I know that because it was part of the reason, but not all, why they divorced, although neither of them really told us it was. I found about dad purely by accident so I knew what they were talking about during some of the arguments.

When I visit him at his place I notice womens' stuff all the time even though he lives alone. Even though he's hiding it from me, I'm sure that if it really was going to be the end of the world for him he would be much more secretive still.

We are very close anyway and I know him enough to know he would never get angry with me because I told the truth. He has always taught me to tell the truth and be honest all the time. So this is why I think his covering up is more about my comfort rather than him being in the closet.

I want to support him and have his support as well and I think it can work well given our great relationship, I just want to be honest.

Thanks again:)

Mary

[TVStevie]

Going back to the original question, I'm sure that I read somewhere, years ago, that one of the reasons why Marvin Gaye's relationship with his father was strained was because he was never able to fully accept their shared interest in crossdressing. However, I've googled and can find nothing on the subject (other than that his father was a CD), so if anyone has more definitive proof of this, I'd love to hear it, just so I know I didn't imagine it!

[SherriePall]

I hope someone backs me up on this, but a while ago I was looking at pics from different Southern Comfort Conferences and there was a photo of a father and son. Almost couldn't tell which was which and they both looked absolutely beautiful!

[TVStevie]

Just found this on tinternet!


IIRC, it's a matter of public record, mentioned in Ritz' Divided Soul and a few other biographies and Motown histories, that both Marvin and his father had a tendency to cross-dress, though Marvin Gaye much less so than his dad. Marvin's brother, Frankie, recently wrote a book that Marvin Sr. claiming didn't cross-dress but I'm not sure if he addresses Marvin Jr.'s predilection.

Yay, I'm not mad. Well, regarding imaginary press reports, anyway! :D

[LeannL]

There has been some research on genetic and environmental factors in CDing. I am not totally versed in it though. The webmaster for http://www.gendertree.com is a member of my Tri-Ess chapter and is doing a Masters right now in this area. You might find something there or maybe she can point anyone interested towards it. There does seem to be a link but it may not be clear if it is because once there is a family member who comes out, the others do also. I suspect my brother CDs.

[Rosemary]

It's kind of weird but even kind of cool to think that my dad could have passed his desire for crossdressing on to me naturaly. It could be true I guess. I know that my dads home situation, when he was a boy, was very different from the lifestyle he gave me.
I've spoken to my grandparents and they told me that they were very poor compared to where we are today. He had no sisters.
All I know is that as as soon as I turned 12, I began to get turned on to women's clothes and it's getting stronger every day. I don't know why but I get very depressed when I can't do it when I need to.
I haven't really made up my mind even if I'm gay yet. I've been so wrapped up in wearing girly clothes I haven't really had a chance to think about if I like girls or boys.:confused:

Mary

[FionaAlexis]

I was just trying to find out whether there are any others out there who belong to a family which has more than 1 cross dresser or Tranvestite.



Mary,

Well I believe there is one well known Australian family, the Wherretts, where one brother, Peter is TV and the other brother, Richard was gay and I believe from interviews that their father cross dressed.

Anyway Peter Wherrett wrote an autobiography called 'Desirelines' which is still available.

Fiona xx