Why me? [mostly for the Newbies]

[Wildaboutheels]

WHY do I do this CDing thing? Since so many ask, even the Forum Dinos.

How many of you have considered Nurture? As in, the way you were raised/brought up/treated by parents/interacted with any siblings/# of siblings.

Nurture at the very least as just one CONTRIBUTING cause?

If you were raised by a mother with no father figure around...

And/or raised with mostly sisters or ONLY sisters.

And/or the girls always seemed to get the most "attention".

And/or one or both parents never got tired of telling you they were HOPING for a girl when YOU were born?

Or maybe you always connected with your mom but could never talk to or have a decent heart to heart with your dad?

There are probably plenty of other possibilities that I missed?

[sarahcrossed]

Its hard to say why for some of us. But i believe its something we r born with. I grew up with both a mother and a father and had 2 brothers. So no sisters so i guess u could say that im one of those that my parents "wished" was a girl. I dont think that it has anything to do with me crossdressing though. I can remember from a young age liking the clothes that girls wore, and wishing i could wear them2. But i knew i couldnt tell my parents that growing up in a strict baptist home. Fundamental christians tend to stay within gender rolls.

[linda booth]

My situation was exactly the same as Sarah's (minus the religion). I was just incredibly drawn to the clothes & the women that wore them. You know , I was never given any moral taboos that dressing up was wrong. Even a little kid somehow knows its considered socially unacceptable.

[Emi]

I am on the born with it band wagon, no sisters, loving mother and father. Its just there for some reason. I don't know why, its frustrating. The only solace I have ever found was this forum, I can not imagine having to try and understand this without the massive amount of support and information there is available on the internet.

Emi

[Ellie52]

Born to run with it. I had 3 brothers and a younger sister. I remember wearing one of my sisters nighties for a dare when I was about 9 yrs old. From then on I was hooked....Ellie

[meganmichelle]

My father always was working to ensure my mother could be home during me and my younger sisters developmental years. I was able to grow deeper bonds with women and girls as a result. I think ultimately it was the you cannot wear girls things that led to the fateful day when I first tried on something from my moms closet.

[ninadiva]

None of Wildaboutheels' listed causes applies to me. I guess I just grew up that way. I started experimenting with my GF's clothes when she was out at Uni and I was home. I was for some reason drawn to try on and that was me hooked for life. Maybe genetics or a part female soul, but certainly no outside influences such as nurture or background.

[kathyw]

i remember when i was YOUNGER iwas atracted to playing with girls hair bruhing them out and then i seen on tv about tan v. i tryed it and hooked forever im 64 now

[NicoleScott]

It's not just newbies that wonder why we do this. I still do after decades of CDing. Curious, but not hung up by the absense of answers. But I never thought there were certain life situations that cause CDing. My upbringing was about as stable and normal as it gets.

[DeidraDee63]

I grew up an only child in the basic normal family. I believe, we are born prewired this way, well at least in my situation. I remember my earliest thought of being female, was around age 5 and ever since then, it just continued to develop. I now know that my situation was probably due to medications my Mom was given before I was born. I also have learned that the sooner you accept it the happier life will be, but that process has taken me nearly 60 years to figure out, o.k. I over analyze and do not rush things (lol).

[VeronicaMoonlit]

One thing I learned long ago was:

"Why" doesn't matter. You will never know why, and would it make your life better if you did? What matters is how you deal with it.

Veronica

[Michelle (Oz)]

None of those applies to me. I enjoyed ball games; still do. I enjoyed being a boy; still do. Did try on some of my mothers and sisters clothes when aged around 7; no don't now. Have my own!

[Jenniferathome]

Nurture has nothing to do with cross dressing. In fact, the numbers that have been caught and met with punishment or embarrassment prove that we do this because we are born to it.

[Beverley Sims]

These are some o many theories as to why we are like we are.
I do not know the answer either.

[KellyJameson]

You are born into it as an aspect of your temperament and it is this temperament that "resonates" with the feminine and if you are sexually attracted to females than your sexuality is laid over top of your innate temperament blending them together as one single expression.

When you read how crossdressing changes for those as they age because their sexuality becomes less of a force leaving the original temperament as the single expression of their crossdressing so their crossdressing "softens" from the absence of the hard edge of male sexuality.

Crossdressers identify as male while identifying with the feminine inside them.

It is important to understand that males live on a spectrum because you are created out of the female and moved toward the male for reproductive purposes.

All males live on a spectrum between female and male as two extremes created by nature.

Males were never meant to be so tightly controlled in the expression of self and much of "masculinity" was created due to competition between men to entice a female to mate with them.

The whole edifice of masculinity would collapse if it was not for women as the object of male sexual desire.

You may be fighting against yourself because you think you were created by your environment but what created you goes much deeper and is much more subtle.

Crossdressing is an expression of the self you were born with just as your sexual and gender identities are.

Life is just a continuation of what you already were born to be if you allow it.

[Dana L]

I belive we are born with it. I had a brother and a sister and began CDing while my dad was still around. I like sports and working on cars and all the typical boy things. I just like to dress as a girl and feel I should have been born one. If I had been more like 5'7" and and not so big framed my life would have changed a long time ago.

[Jenny CD]

Since I was a young boy, I dressed in one way or the other. I did all kinds of masculine things, ie; football, martial arts (won several ametuer kick-boxing titles in the 90's), street fight for the hell of it... just to mask my CDing from myself. When I finally realized it was a part of ME, I became content with myself.

[Nancie64]

Can't be me. Right down dirty childhood. Started sampling my sister clothes because they happen to be laying there by the hamper. I like the male mood and feel comfortable but also love the feel of the stockings, skirts and heels. So what! Bad thing is that I live in small town (2000+) so being careful is a big concern. self-employed + small town + exposure = disaster :naughty

[Jenny CD]

Can't be me. Right down dirty childhood. Started sampling my sister clothes because they happen to be laying there by the hamper. I like the male mood and feel comfortable but also love the feel of the stockings, skirts and heels. So what! Bad thing is that I live in small town (2000+) so being careful is a big concern. self-employed + small town + exposure = disaster :naughty

I feel your pain, Nancie. I grew up in a tiny town and had issues there, too. That's one of the reasons I moved to a city. I guess you have no choice.