The real people we are.

[Maria 60]

The other night my in-laws had out of town guest that they meet on there last vacation and wanted us to meet them, I was busy at work and couldn't make it but my wife went by to meet them. When she came home she said that they were talking about how the new generation children are so different and that her father was talking highly of me. He was saying that his son mixes ginger ale in the wine and he doesn't like hot peppers and when he needs something or help he always says tomorrow but never shows up, but my son in-law no matter how bad the home made wine is he never mixes it, the hotter the peppers the more he enjoys them and when I need something he's there for me. I understood the wine part to an older Italian man mixing the wine is worse then killing someone. My wife then said the sad part of this is if the cross dressing ever came out of the bag she believes that her father being an older generation Italian he would more then likely disown me and that's sad because he will forget the real person I really am. I told my wife that's just the way life is, for example as soon as older Italians see someone with tattoos or earrings they mark them as bums or thief or druggies. They don't take the time to look past things and find out the real person they are. Has anyone here had come out or outed and the people that once thought highly of you judged you different and forget the person they knew before they found out you cross dress.

[Wildaboutheels]

Nope, never had that happen to me but these Forums are full of such stories...

The trouble with most of us [IMO] is that we want to believe that IF someone Loves us and/or has known us "forever" they will be able to see the light. And the Relationship with them, no matter what kind, will go on. We also WANT to believe that IF someone is intelligent and/or open minded they will figure it out... and the Relationship with them will go on as before.

It obviously does not work that way. I don't think there is any reliable way to predict just how accepting a person may be unless and until you tell them. And just because they smile and nod should you tell them, doesn't mean they understand or accept you.

If someone could come up with some reliable way to read people's minds and market it, I'll bet they could charge whatever they wanted and some people would be lining up?

[Nikki A.]

So far the answer is no. But I have been careful to whom I've come out to, even though some of the outings have not been on my terms.

[noeleena]

Hi,

For some there is no place for difference or a difference, what many have been taught over the years, is take as set in concrete hard & fast, well cured, , yet remember concrete can have cracks in it or miner fissures, funny that like people a dought or two yet is plastered over to cover thier real feelings a fasard.....or boarded over.

Maybe our county has a more open minded people we are made up of many race's so we accept more difference some rather nice some not so .

I have not lost any of those i have known going back 55 years, those new people who have not known me have accepted myself fully i work with many people in different aspects of life have gain so many new friends, not just with in our membership of over 1000 people . now of cause that does not say every person who knows me are friends, or wonts to be, i know about 12 people who have rejected who i am out right thats not many concidering how many i do know,

As for family we are still intact 17 of us, so thats good .

As a thought . i have a lot more respect people wont me around them . i quess people see a difference in my self , is it the clothes i wear or how i look, dought it very much, .
What i see in myself is a out going likeable have fun kind of person, i try my best to put people at ease when they are around myself , i belive its importaint to invite people in to your life, so they can become a part of you, get to know you i wont say understand you because i dont expect any one to even try to ,

im very different from others so you need to show , in my case because of that difference we have to be more accomidateing to others, being able to converce well with others is a must, the older people interesting i have found they are more accepting of myself than say some who are ages 40 = 50; it depends .again on the person,

...noeleena...

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Maria, It's true that you can't judge a book by it's cover.

[kimdl93]

No, actually I've been surprised at how well I've been accepted. Older people have problems with differences,,sure, but you'll note that this man values you for what you do...he may not judge you for being different as long as you do what you say you'll do and don't put ginger ale in wine!

[Kate Simmons]

Not that I really care one way or the other but old habits die hard and I tend not to tell everyone and their brother (or sister) who I am and what I do. It's mostly about being efficient and not putting a sign on my back to make myself an easy target of every opportunist to use for their agenda. Having formerly been in Army Intel, I was trained to reveal things on a "need to know" basis only and that is pretty much how I still operate. Putting a notice in the paper revealing who I am isn't going to help me complete my work or accompiish my purpose, simple as that.:)

[Beverley Sims]

Not that so much as being judgemental as to peoples appearance.

[Tina B.]

I've never told that many people and very careful who, for that very reason, that isn't just Italians it's true of a lot of older people, and it seems for some, the older they get the worst it gets.
But the then to me, cross dressing has always been a very personal thing, and I feel no need or reason I should tell everyone around me, it has nothing to do with the most of them, and I have no plans for them to ever see me in any light other than the way they already know me. If I do let any hint to the fact, it's among people that don't matter in my day to day life. It would be someone in the Trans community, or have a reason to know. Of course the one exception is the wife, it does affect her, so when I knew I had to resume dressing after giving it up for a few years, I told her first.
Luckily, my wife is my best friend, and takes me as I am, and is more than willing to share, and keep my secret, secret.

[Michal006]

I totally agree with this.

[jayme357]

Kate, you hit the proverbial nail on the head. "Need to know". To be sharing our most personal emotions and feelings with just anyone really makes no sense whatsoever. The people in my life who need to know are very special people.

[MysticLady]

Has anyone here had come out or outed and the people that once thought highly of you judged you different and forget the person they knew before they found out you cross dress.

Yes..............My Wife:sad: