frustration

[andrea lace]

Hello all I have not been around for a while and I am feeling frustrated. The reason for this is I have not been able to be myself for months now. Andrea has had to go back in the closet for the foreseeable future and the want and need to dress is is like a beast that has been caged once again.

My son who has left school is around all the time and we are having a heatwave in the UK and even under dressing is a big no no.

My wife and I have decided that we don't want our kids to know as they are both young adults and have there own challenges without burdening them with my alter ego

At the moment All I can get away with is clear nail polish which I wear 24 7. I tried to dress the other evening when we went to bed and it was preceded by knocks on the door from both children wanting something. The door was locked so I just said that we were busy. They never bother us at bedtime normally. This gave me the hump and I read it as a sign that I was not meant to dress so removed my make up which was only half applied.

I think what I am trying to say is that when I am denied some me time things can get on top of me and I am left feeling a bit frustrated. On a lighter not my oldest son and I have been spending some quality time together.

[Sami]

I feel your pain for sure this I can relate to.

[Nikki A.]

When there is a will there will be a way. Send them to a movie LOL.

[reb.femme]

Hi Andrea,

Long time no post.

Much as I love my kids, I'm glad none of them live at home anymore. With the youngest in his late 20s, I've got used to the empty nest, but I have very fond memories of the things we all did together, as a family.

Sounds like a sensible approach with the burden side of things. Kids will tell friends and then it comes back to bite them, rather than you, as kids can be cruel to each other.

Rebecca

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Andrea I can feel your pain I was there and done that in the past,

Now my little ones are 47 & 45 with their own home and family's

[Tina B.]

I feel you frustration, I don't know how many times over the years I've been have dressed, or half made up and a knock on the door, or phone call we will be there in a few minutes, or a negative comment from the wife, would stop me in my tracks, make me not want to dress, and then stew the rest of the night, grieving the lost opportunity. Love my kids dearly, but glad they are grown and we make arrangements a head of time to get together, seldom do I get surprised anymore.

[MysticLady]

I think what I am trying to say is that when I am denied some me time things can get on top of me and I am left feeling a bit frustrated. On a lighter not my oldest son and I have been spending some quality time together.

Hi Andrea


I'm glad to hear that you are spending time w/ the kiddo. But, I also understand the frustration. Heck, rent you a no tell motel room for the weekend and just have at it. I'll bet when you come home, the Mrs. will just love the smile on your face.:D

[Tracii G]

Deal with it the best you can.

[Beverley Sims]

Although Tracii shows a hard line, she is right.
The project of raising a family and the rewards that it brings means that the frustrations we all have, do "disappear all too soon."
Just put up with the strain for a little while longer.

The last sentence in your post should be written on a wall by your makeup mirror.

[imsandy]

Yes, it can be frustrating when you haven't had a chance to dress for a while. But hang in there... it's really sweet when you finally get some time. :)

[Nikki68]

...a negative comment from the wife, would stop me in my tracks, make me not want to dress, and then stew the rest of the night, grieving the lost opportunity...


Going through that right now, and I'm just crushed, cause she encouraged this in me, now accuses me of being gay.. I'm so hurt I sit in my car crying... I feel betrayed.....

[heatherdress]

Andrea - You also need some together time with you wife. Be creative. Encourage weekends with their friends. Encourage visits to aunts and uncles. Think about getting away with your wife.

[Jaylyn]

I'm serious as I can be here, deal with the kids and family first. I know it is tough but your time will come. Your family is the most important thing right now. Also on a side note can you spend quality time with the kids and then maybe have a date night with the wife from time to time and hire a baby sitter for the night. Get a motel dress or take in a good movie with the wife as well, then dress even good parents need a small get away from time to time. I had to put my dressing on hold for many years. I could sneak in a small dressing time every now and then, but my kids and family came first. Only my wife knows about my CD ing ( she knows I guess, every thing about me by now as well I know her inner thoughts and wishes) we are one made complete by our lives and love. I promise you may feel frustrated but not as frustrated as one night if you neglect the raising of your off spring and they become criminals and you are visiting them in prison. I've seen this happen in many parents lives from my 30 years in my life's employment. Raise them right and you'll be glad and feel more like dressing in celebration of your great success of successful children in their adulthood, and when they give you Grandkids it's just icing on the cake.

[Juliea661]

Hi Andrea, take what life gives you and focus on the "now". And from what you write it seems that "now" is the time to focus on and enjoy your kids and wife. Take every opportunity to enjoy that quality time, for when it is all said and done, those are your real treasures. And as someone else suggested, get a room out of town on e and a while and have some quality time for Andrea. If you are careful not to be glutinous you really can have your cake and eat it too....
:-)
Hugs and all the best, Jules

[rian]

:oDear Andrea
Your situation is the same as mine ,,when u live in a family.... that is annoying but to me cross-dressing is a way of life ..I create an event to my family so that I can use my secret to myself once a while ...try to create some things to your family in order to open a small self identity to your real nature .

[Helen_Highwater]

Hi Andrea,
My dressing time has been dramatically reduced of late and it looks like it could even reduce further. In the last few days I've had small windows,2-3 hours were I could dress but the stress of operating in such tight timescales takes away the enjoyment. I could have dressed today but there was an uncertainty as to when my eldest daughter would return and the thought of doing a quick change routine just took away any enthusiasm. That said like you I find myself missing that other side of my life.

And as for the heat wave..... oh to be outside in a dress or top with no shoulders and spaghetti straps and try to loose the "farmers arms".

[renee elizabeth]

i know about the frustrations too andrea, i don't get to dress as nearly as much as i want to due to my living situation, but until i can get my situation straightened out i'm dealing with it the best way that i can.

[NeedToBeBritney]

It surely is frustrating when you can't dress. You can't be yourself. I totally hear you. Just do the best with the situation now and hopefully you get to optimum situation.

[tiffanynjcd24]

I understand you I know I cant be myself like dressing up and expressing myself since I live with my grandma so I know

[Maria 60]

Welcome to my life. If you read my past post you will know its true. If your like me that doesn't want to go out of my way to make it happen, like going to a hotel or planing a weekend get away with my wife, it's a waiting game and more then likely the day you come home from work most tired is the day the house will be empty. It is frustrating but I am learning to take the good with the bad. I have a supportive wife and I should be happy that the kids still want to hang around with us even at there older ages. I can't give you advice without asking you for some on the same subject. My wife always said my mind is always thinking and trying to figure out when I can dress and that one day it's going to send me to a mental hospital. Hope it all works out.

[ShelbyDawn]

Andrea,

For what it's worth, I needed to see your post today. I have been going through the same thing with the exception that I was forced to completely purge; not even an old used up bottle of nail polish is left...
It has been a very difficult few weeks and it is comforting for me to know that I am not alone. Thank you for that.

Please understand that you are not alone either. I understand how difficult this is and we can share the burden together. Fortunately, like you, I am getting some great quality time with my two sons.

:hugs:
Shelby