Kind of blown away today

[JackieInPA]

I Frequent a local hot Dog shop that also serves a tasty breakfast (2 eggs bacon toast homefries and my drink for just over 6 bucks). I was leaving today and one of the owners who does all the breakfast cooking was outside. I didn't see him but he called out to me. He said hi and me if everything was going ok with my 'situation'. I was a bit confused because even though I have been going there for about 20 years I don't recall giving out any personal information. I asked 'Situation?' he said 'yeah you know your change.' then the light went off...I have really stopped doing the male thing about 95% of the time and now o there freely in female mode. i told him it was good and things were going well. He responded with "I'm glad things are good I'm really happy for you!' This just blew my mind. he is the first person outside a select group of friends who has ever said they were happy for me, that I am finally getting to be myself.

While most others have accepted this about me they never speak about it in a really positive way...just kind of ignore it or bring it up if there is a problem. To have him go out of his way to show concern and to express not only tolerance but actual happiness for me was very overwhelming. I cried for about 15 mins straight once I got to my car. I still am tearing up here and there when I think about it.

I've been kind of down the past few weeks since I found out at a therapy session that there has been some serious family discussion about me for weeks behind my back, and not really in a positive way. Today really lifted my spirits in a way that has never happened before. I don't post a lot of my experiences here I still have fears of rejection opening up, but this effected me in such a positive way i had to share it with you all as a beacon of light in a sometimes very dark world.

[Wildaboutheels]

Good of you to post about it. I think it's great you accepted his inquiry as a compliment. It looks to me, for whatever it is worth, that that WAS his intention and not simply prying. And just who knows what goes on in HIS life. Maybe he too is a CDer of some flavor and or knows others.

As far as your family members? I would not lump them all into one pot unless you have spoken with each of them about your "situation". It just could be some are on your "side" but perhaps are simply afraid to speak up? Many people are afraid to rock the boat especially within their own family.

Your post also illustrates just how impactful a simple compliment can be. And they cost nothing.

[Barbara Ella]

Jackie, such a wonderful post on so many levels. I understand your fear over posting, here, but something as inspirational as this just cries out for sharing. You have met a super individual at your breakfast spot. I suspect he "understands" more about situations like this than he lets on. Wish a whole lot more people did.

It must hurt to find out about family intrigues through a third party, but until they confront you directly, you cannot know all the details. At least you are forewarned and can be ready. Don't judge and react prematurely.

Keep that beacon of light burning in your heart, and rekindle it every time you go to breakfast.

Hugs,

Barbara

[Kimberly Kael]

What a wonderful experience, Jackie. I'm glad it happened and that you took the time to write about it here. Based on similar experiences, I'd say it's actually easier for someone without a strong connection to you to accept who you are. After all, it doesn't affect them in any meaningful way, unlike our families. It gets even more surreal when you realize you're building a contingent of friends and acquaintances who have never known you any other way. And then it starts to become the new normal.

I think what's especially gratifying about your experience is that it's obvious that someone noticed, that they care, and that they can see this is important to you. Having strangers wish us well can be incredibly powerful. I remember when a waitress at a breakfast spot we frequented in the Seattle area first said to me that I looked a lot more relaxed and happier. She was absolutely right, and it was a treat to hear that other people could see it, too.

[AllieSF]

I echo Wild's comments. What a nice and heartfelt compliment and question. We so many times say that we want to go unnoticed and not be approached by others out of fear of whatever. This is a wonderful example of people noticing and caring about our own well being and not trying to arouse negative feelings in others against us. Thanks for sharing and make sure you try to take some time to talk with him occasionally, even if it is nothing more about your enjoyment of his food, the weather or local sports teams successes or failures. That is how acquaintances can be turned into good friends.

[noeleena]

Hi,

What we need to understand is people know more about us than you realise , they may not say much if any thing yet there are the one here & one there who do. credit where its due this is one of those times & people , lovely to hear of this,

Concern comes out to me on this so you can be pleased that this one made the effort to speak to you. really really lovely.

...noeleena...

[Jorja]

We always hear the bad reports of disrespect, humiliation, and abuse. It is nice to hear there are those people out there who do understand and care about us as people.

[Michelle.M]

I just love to hear stories like this! Thanks for sharing!

[Marleena]

I agree with the others, we hear about the crap far too often. It's nice to hear of a positive experience like you had. It had to feel great!:) Thanks for sharing.

[melissaK]

They've been feeding you regularly for 20 years Sweetie!! They're like family!! Restaurant people know their regulars. You really ought-a take a little time to know them. Probably a safe bet they appreciate your 20 year patronage as it has been your quiet endorsement of them, and your quiet validation of their efforts as restaurateurs.

And again, we TS rightfully have so many fearful notions of acceptance we forget to keep our hearts open to the ones who accept us because they know we are just doing our best to make our way through life same as them.

[Vivian Best]

Won't it be nice in the future when everyone is as nice as your friend!

[MysticLady]

i told him it was good and things were going well. He responded with "I'm glad things are good I'm really happy for you!.

Hi Jackie, For some reason or another, I sensed the same thing. When I was out en femme this last time, I just know that I can be read. It must have been the beard shadow or something like my voice(I don't squeal to sound girlish. I use my normal voice). A couple of guys were just very nice too me in the way the spoke too me, as a man I never have rec'd this from another man. I was kind of apprehensive at first then I remembered, Duh....I'm dressed as a woman. Could be that the image of a woman whether it be real or not changes men's attitudes or feelings toward that individual. I wondered.