feel jealous from women

[diana2013]

I feel jealous when i see women dressed sexy and i hope i was born like them and dress and feel like them and try to push my genitals betwwen my legs to feel i am like them, what does it mean this feeling? and what should i do?

[biggirlsarah]

Hi Diana , welcome to the club, I am insanely jealous of women, especially if they are dressed nice , what they are able to wear , the type of shoes they have at their disposal , when I see a nice woman dressed without much thought to what she is wearing I think to myself why when you have so many nice clothes available to you why do you not make the effort to look nice, I have had these thoughts for over 40 years , I have come to a compromise I dress as often as I can, this works for me it doesn't mean I an transexual, It just means I prefer to present myself as a female , this is how I have come to terms with this, as for yourself you have to find a way of making it work for you .
I hope you find someway of coming to terms with your situation , but please don't try to ignore it as it will overwhelm you eventually, you might need to seek professional help or find something that works for you , good luck on your journey , love and hugs Sarah xxx

[Joanne f]

Hello diana2013,
how are you , it would not be right for me to tell you what to do about it as that is something that you will have to eventually decide for yourself but what I will tell you is that I have found that out of all the feelings that you get from this way of life that seems to be the one feeling that never changes in it intensity and can be one of the hardest to cope with at times .
Have a nice day
JF

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

Stick around Diana and learn from all of the posts here. None of us can really tell you what you should do. Do what feels right for you. Do what is comfortable to have yourself feeling content. I too am jealous of women because women can do all of the things that are seemingly unacceptable for a male to do. You reminded me of my sister catching me when I was about 5 years old making my "outie" an "innie", if you know what I mean. That was 55 years ago.

I and others wish you the best to reconcile your feelings. We're here for you!

Cheryl Ann

[diana2013]

Thanks for everyone aswered and i am looking for more answers from others, in fact i bought a lot of women clothes and every day i buy more and more and i dress as a woman when i have a chance and my desire increases to be full time woman oneday but i am still just thinking about the family, community, friends and work etc.. thanks for everybody who can help

Diana

[CarolynO]

Hi Diana,welcome to the forum.
I think most if not all of us are jealous of beautiful women.I certainly am.What you are expressing is Gender disphoria which I have,to what degree how strong your GD is only you can answer.
My GD swings from low buzz to fever pitch and can manage to live with it-barely I should say when its at fever pitch.My cd'ing alleviates it somewhat though.

I think that if your GD is like this or worse you should go see a gender therapist/counselor to get your feelings sorted out,it may help figure yourself out too.
Wish you good luck.
xxxCO

[ErinSassyPants]

I don't have any helpful suggestions for gender dysphoria but my suggestion for jealousy is to not allow yourself to focus on one area of someone's life or imagine things about their life.

For instance if I was jealous of Oprah who has my dream job and gets to hang out with Maya Angelou who I adore and a ton of other things I could wish I had, I would start by doing research to find out the reality of her life. So I would find out that she was raped and abused as a girl, about the difficulties she had growing up and the struggles she had as an African American Woman and then suddenly I'm not resenting that she has what she has now because it isn't a dream it's a complicated reality.

So maybe you can do that with women, maybe you can research what struggles women face, or maybe shift your focus from "women" as a group to and see each woman you notice as an individual with struggles that you don't even know about, that doesn't mean that your struggle with living in a society that doesn't want you to dress to match your insides isn't valid. It totally is, it's just that her getting to wear that outfit is by far the smallest thing about her life. She doesn't get the pleasure out of it that you covet. Her life is almost certainly focused on her own struggles.

It doesn't mean there is something wrong with you if you are jealous of those you perceive to have what you want. But if you want to know what works to stop jealousy this is my suggestion.

[Karen_Ski]

I am not sure jealous is the word I would use; respect - definitely, envious-yes, but not jealous. I guess being just about FT and on hormones my outlook is a bit different. I can wear what they do everyday and do! I go just about everywhere they go, do what they do , and if I do say so myself look pretty good doing it! Don't be jealous or envious, rather emulate and b the lady you want to be!

[joanna4]

Don't worry, you are not alone. It is quite common and I get extremely jealous to the point of depression. When I see a girl in a sexy outfit of wearing a certain item of clothing out in public, I am so jealous that it is normal for them to wear the article out and flaunt it.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Diana, Whenever I see a well dressed lady I try to copy her style.

[Julie95]

Believe me you re not alone.

Julie

[Sarah Beth]

Like about everyone other CD I do envy GG's and their appearance, that is about all of them in all ways. The way the walk, fold their arms across their chest, how they look even when they are being casual. Something happened to day that gave me pause in that envy. Now I don't go out dressed and I had been changing the oil in my truck so I was in no way being fem. A woman I knew from years ago when I had really long hair, one of the first things she asked me was what had happened to my long curly hair. She told me she had always wished she had hair like mine that she wouldn't have to worry about curling it. Alas, when the gray started moving in I cut it off.

I was still envious of her she looked reallyl cute in the outfit she had on and she had cleavage...........................

[docrobbysherry]

Don't know where u live Diana. But, here in SoCal, very few women look sexy any more. And, quite a few look the opposite. They let themselves go!

Maybe if u focus on the NOT sexy ones you'd feel better about how u look dressed. When I see a sex looking female, I don't have time to be jealous. I'm too busy figuring out what it is about her that attracts me and how I could create that look on Sherry!

[diana2013]

I live in San Jose, CA

[diana2013]

Thanks for everybody who answered and hope to receive other answers.

kisses
Diana

[Beverley Sims]

I think you have the feelings of someone who likes to crossdress and emulate women.

[JamieTG]

Diana I feel the same way. When I see beautiful, shapely girls I get envious and sometimes very depressed about it; knowing that no matter what I do, my body will never look like that. I know I have some TS tendencies but at 59 yrs of age, any level of transitioning is not an option. I'm very vain and I know hormones would not change my body that much. In reality I would never look like what I look like in my fantasies. Its a struggle but hope this forum helps you.

[Allison Quinn]

Wahaha I get rather jealous too :P
I get jealous of everyday dressed girls though as I wish I were just born female u.u
As to what to do about it I still haven't figured out how to answer that one ^^;;

[Aly Cat]

I get super jealous about what women wear. I work in a retail store and see hundreds of women every day and the town i work in is more ritzy so most women dress really nice.
One thing that helps me not get so maddeningly jealous and start over thinking wanting to be them/wonder if in my head I really am a TS is just chalking it up to being a fashion expert. (Im not really one professionally). But critiquing the outfits in how they go together and looking at it as a whole, I find that I can walk away from the jealously aspect of it and pay them a compliment (in my head) on their own fashion sense and how well they did putting the outfit together. Sometimes I do comment on liking their shoes or fingernail polish or something where they will be able to accept the compliment without thinking im a creeper. Complimenting on the actual clothes like how the blouse forms to their body and excentuates different feminine aspects goes into creeper status so don't go there (out loud at least) lol. Just like combatting anger with kind words, you can combat jealousy with true honest compliments and an appreciation for the fashion art in and of itself.
Then you can go home and try to replicate their look later! ;-)

[Trisha65]

Looking at someone who I feel is more beautiful, has nicer boobs, dressed better or a real biggie a nicer butt does make me jealous. Just human nature if you ask me.

[Tracii G]

Welcome Diana!!
I'm jealous of their shape and wish I had one like it.

[diana2013]

Thanks for your answers but i need to know what does it mean that feeling, do you think i am a transgender and i will start to tranform into a woman by taking hormones or just a crossdresser?

[prene]

jealous no envious-yes.

Welcome to the Club.

I felt that way with my last 2 gf's also.

Wish I had their body's and look.

[Zylia]

No-one on this forum can or should tell you if 'transitioning' is the right thing for you. In fact that could be quite harmful. A lot of cross-dressers can be considered transgender too, but use cross-dressing as a way to ease their TG urges. I dress from time to time, really trying to look as feminine as possible and I really enjoy doing it, but I don't feel the need to take a next step, maybe because of it. I'm also not jealous of well-dressed women, in fact I simply admire them.

Anyway, don't focus too much on the terminology, the point is that you have certain feelings and you need a place to put them and a way to satisfy your urges. If you really think these feelings affect how you function in daily life consider speaking with a professional about it.

[krissy]

ME TOO!! i cant look at awoman without trying to see thier style or thier bra .dont get me started. lol

[Tina B.]

Diana, welcome home! You will find a lot of answers here, we all had to figure out what it means to us, each one alone, Oh we can give opinions, and believe me we will. But only you can tell what it means to you.
I'm not the Jealous type, but I do admire a well dressed lady and will try to learn what part of her look will work for me, that's part of the fun of being a cross dresser,
As you build a wardrobe, and your confidence grows, that feeling of Jealousy will change, to seeing a pretty women, and think, I could rock that look, but when it gets best, is when you start to develop your own look.
But figuring out why you do it, and how you feel about the answer to that question can be a long range goal, takes most of us a while. When I first joined here, I learned a lot, just reading old threads, you find one time or another, we have talked about just about any and everything to do with this subject.
And by all means, keep asking questions.

[robindee36]

Diana,

No psychological analysis experience here, so its strictly personal opinion. I love to watch well dressed women, well dressed and sexy is even better. Without a classroom to teach the subtleties of cross dressing, observation is the next best method of learning. In addition to the clothing and makeup, watching how they move is exceptionally informative. You just can't learn these things from a book or video.

This does not raise feelings of jealousy, well....perhaps a bit of envy for what they can achieve. Ultimately, it enlightens me and provides additional ideas for improving my presentation. Please note, there are also some terrible examples out there, looks you do not want to emulate. But, again, there is something to be learned there too.

What should you do? Keep working on your look girl. The better you look dressed, the less jealousy you may feel. Perhaps you will reach a point where your thinking shifts to geeze, I look better than that and your confidence will grow.

Most of all, have fun with it.

Hugs Robin

[dawnmarrie1961]

I used to feel that way along time ago. Now I don't anymore. I don't want to be "Them". I'd rather be ME. That's good enough for me. I can live with that.

[Druscilla Supernovae]

Sometimes I wish I were that hot 5'8" blond. I would do all kinds of stuff.

[diana2013]

Thanks to your answers, i learn a lot from you, this site is great and very helpfull.

[sometimes_miss]

I only feel jealous of women in that they (most of them, at least) get to live the life of the gender that they feel that they were supposed to. I was brought up to believe that god would 'fix me' and make me a girl, and as a child, I accepted that as reality, and prepared myself to become a girl when I got to about the age of high school. The underlying feeling that my entire 'real' life is put 'on hold' never goes away; I don't think a high percentage of other people live with that.

[Ashley_K]

I don't have any helpful suggestions for gender dysphoria but my suggestion for jealousy is to not allow yourself to focus on one area of someone's life or imagine things about their life.

For instance if I was jealous of Oprah who has my dream job and gets to hang out with Maya Angelou who I adore and a ton of other things I could wish I had, I would start by doing research to find out the reality of her life. So I would find out that she was raped and abused as a girl, about the difficulties she had growing up and the struggles she had as an African American Woman and then suddenly I'm not resenting that she has what she has now because it isn't a dream it's a complicated reality.

So maybe you can do that with women, maybe you can research what struggles women face, or maybe shift your focus from "women" as a group to and see each woman you notice as an individual with struggles that you don't even know about, that doesn't mean that your struggle with living in a society that doesn't want you to dress to match your insides isn't valid. It totally is, it's just that her getting to wear that outfit is by far the smallest thing about her life. She doesn't get the pleasure out of it that you covet. Her life is almost certainly focused on her own struggles.

It doesn't mean there is something wrong with you if you are jealous of those you perceive to have what you want. But if you want to know what works to stop jealousy this is my suggestion.

Hi Everyone! This is an older thread, but a good thread. I do get envious of GGs sometimes, and I REALLY liked this quote from Erin. It's so true that it's easy to be envious if you only see the good stuff (like what people post on Facebook). When you start getting down to it, "there's pain in every pew" as my wife has said. She's also told me how much it can suck to be a woman. And even when I'm sitting here being envious of other people, I'm sure there are people envious of me! The grass is just always greener on the other side.


It is rare for a GG woman to feel that she is stunning, turning heads, and that other women are jealous of how good she looks. Corporations benefit from keeping us all insecure, so most women (even ones other people find stunning) don't believe other people see them that way.

I also like this quote from the "Your inspirations?" thread by JessM. I know my SO once thought my body looked better in a dress than her's--it's sort of like someone who trains for years to run a marathon, and then a friend who just on a whim decides to run the same marathon, beats you. I can see how frustrating that is, and since we CDers cross the line into the women's world, we can be affected by similar insecurities (including putting too much emphasis on looks).

Likewise, I sometimes have to take a break from the forums here because I feel jealous of other CDs; whether because they look so perfectly feminine, have a better SO acceptance level, frequency of their ability to dress, or achieve something else better than me. It seems to me that the "best looking" CDs have the most profile views (though I know it's not a race and means absolutely nothing), and I too am guilty of being more likely to look at more attractive CD profiles (though I hope I try to balance it by looking at profiles based on the content of their posts). I even feel envious of TS people sometimes because they've "made it"! But underneath it all, every individual experiences the realities of both great wonder and also deep pain. And through a forum, all we have to go by are pictures and words of only what people choose to share.

Do you all feel similar envy about other people in this forum, and how do you all deal with it?

~Ashley~

[Michelle789]

jealous no envious-yes.

Me too!!! I feel envious of women sometimes. I think it's a combination of clothes, feeling like I am or should be a woman, and being treated as such in life and relationships.


as my wife has said. She's also told me how much it can suck to be a woman

A lot of women say that. A lot of men say men have it harder. The only difference I notice is it's more acceptable for women to complain about the hardships of being a woman, to a man or to another woman. If a man complains about the hardships of being a man to a woman, or even to another man, it's frowned upon. My two cents is both genders have it equally as hard, just in different areas. To me the difference in hardness of being male or female is like the tale of two jobs.

Job #1: Pays $40K, you work 35 hours per week, it's stable, it's 10 minutes drive each way from your home in rush hour traffic, you love the work and your co-workers. But you struggle to live and support your family on that kind of money....you have to wear hand-me-downs, eat on a budget and never eat out, stay at budget hotels, take vacation within 300 miles driving distance, and there's barely any money saved up. In this case you're spared stress and suffering on the job, but have to be more frugal with money. You get to spend more time with your kids.

Job #2: Pays $150K, you work 70 hours per week, the job has no security, you drive 2 hours each way to work, you have tremendous pressure to perform and your boss is a real jerk. But not only do you and your family live comfortably on that money, you have money saved for the future and can splurge occasionally. You wear designer clothes, eat out more, stay at pricey hotels, travel to Europe and Asia, and have plenty saved up. In this case, you're rewarded financially for all the stress and suffering on the job. You spend little to no time with the kids because you're always working or driving to/from work.

This is the trade-off between time and money.

I know this is comparing apples to oranges, and some may disagree, but this is the difference between the genders. The difference between the genders is a similar trade-off.

While everyone thinks the grass is greener on the other side sometimes, I think for those of us who are TG to some degree, our envy, jealousy, or "grass is greener on the other side" is much stronger because we identify as the opposite gender (to some degree).

I suppose that in the case of my jobs example, a more "type A" personality being forced to work job #1 (low stress, low pay, he was forced to work this job because of the economy and it was the only job he could find) would feel more comfortable in job #2 (high stress, high pay), and vice versa, the "type B" personality being forced to work job #2 (high stress, high pay, he was pressured by his father to work in finance because all the other male relatives earned similar incomes) would feel more comfortable in job #1 (low stress, low pay).

One more thing on men and women, and having it easier. I think any man or woman who lives a somewhat comfortable life arguably has it easier than a man or woman working in a sweat shop in China.

And I think cis-gendered males and females have it WAY easier than TG people, because CD/TG/TS/gender variants have a much more difficult time fitting into a "black and white" gender binary system.

Remember with my jobs example, there are many variants on the kinds of jobs out there, as well as the A/B personality types that work them.


maybe you can research what struggles women face, or maybe shift your focus from "women" as a group to and see each woman you notice as an individual with struggles that you don't even know about

Everyone has struggles. Some of them are cis-gendered people experiencing the hard parts of their gender. Some are TG trying to be true to themselves. Some have absolutely nothing to do with gender. People deal with racial discrimination, poverty, sweat shops, the economy, disease, bullies, alcohol, drugs.

If you have no experienced no bumps and bruises, then you haven't lived life :D

[Ashley_K]

While everyone thinks the grass is greener on the other side sometimes, I think for those of us who are TG to some degree, our envy, jealousy, or "grass is greener on the other side" is much stronger because we identify as the opposite gender (to some degree).

Hey Michelle, I think this is a very interesting point, that we're not fully capable of expressing something ingrained in us.


My two cents is both genders have it equally as hard, just in different areas.

And I definitely agree with this statement!

~Ashley~

[Michelle789]

But, here in SoCal, very few women look sexy any more. And, quite a few look the opposite. They let themselves go!

I agree women in SoCal don't look sexy, I'm not sure about elsewhere but I wouldn't be surprised if this holds true everywhere. I do think there are women with stylish looks in SoCal, but not necessarily sexy. I think many women are dressing more and more plainly. Sexy, pretty, and stylish are also in the eye of the beholder and everyone has different perceptions.


more and more and i dress as a woman when i have a chance and my desire increases to be full time woman oneday

Diana, I asked the question, am I a CD or TS? No one can tell you if you are a TS or not a TS, or should or should not transition. If you're having trouble with gender issues, you should consider seeing a gender therapist who can help you sort out everything, and what path you should take. I think most CDs have some degree of gender dysphoria, but the question is what degree and what will you do about it? Feel free to read my post. Remember this is just my feelings, and opinions posted by others. In the end only you know yourself, and a gender therapist can help you sort that out.

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?200664-Am-I-a-crossdresser-or-a-transsexual

[Brooklyn]

Don't feel badly about your feelings and maybe go get your nails done. It will make you feel much better than tucking!