Finally....

[Nicole Brown]

It is 9 AM Saturday morning as I sit at my desk in my new condo and think back to everything that has gotten my to where I am now. I am Nicole, not just part time any more, I am now Nicole full time.

I walk into my closet and all that I see are my dresses, my skirts, my tops, my heels and my pocket books. I open any draw in my dresser and discover lingerie, stockings, slips and jewelry. As I look around my bedroom, I realize that it is decorated it in a very soft feminine style with mauve walls and off white trim. My furniture is also a feminine off white color and includes a makeup table complete with a lovely oval mirror.

Tuesday I meet with my endo to determine if my hormones are on target or need adjustment. Judging from my breast development I think they are right where they need to be, but she will make the final decision. Friday I have an appointment with my surgeon for my pre surgical review for the start of my FFS. If all goes well, I will have my first 2 procedures by mid September.

Tonight I am meeting my friend Diane, she is a GG, who has invited me to accompany her to her club for their Summer's Evening Dance. So, barely a week living as a woman full time and I get to get all dressed up and go to a dance. What more could a girl ask for.

It truly seems surreal to realize that I am finally living the life that I know I was always meant to live. Going about my everyday chores, going shopping and running errands day after day and then coming home and either making dinner or going out to eat. Then cleaning off my makeup, going to sleep and awaking the next morning and always as Nicole. This is truly heaven, what more could a girl ask for.

Oh, and I almost forget to mention that I am now also a grandma. My son and his adorable wife became parent to a beautiful, er excuse me, a handsome little boy. I always loved holding, feeding and caring for my son when he was a baby, but doing to same for my grandson as Nicole is truly priceless. I am truly beginning to understand this thing between woman and babies. LOL....

[MysticLady]

Nicole, I'm so happy for you that you are happy w/ life. Plus, a new little one, How much better can it get. I wish for more happiness to come your way Sweetie.:hugs:

[I Am Paula]

With the many stumbling blocks that come with transition, there's also the posts like yours. Thank you. I've been living as I was meant to be for 18 months now. Amid the turmoil, there are times like you describe, and are to be cherished.
We hear so much about the difficulties of transition, and there are many, but we should also share our triumphs.

[Jorja]

I am happy for you Nicole. Just remember, you are at the very beginning of your new life. Let us know what it is like for you in about a year after the newness and euphoria has worn off. That will be the test. Not that it won't be good but it will be routine by then.

[Princess Grandpa]

*sings* Because happy is what happens when all your dreams come true.

Such a happy thread! I wish you all the best living life on your terms.

Hug
Rita

[Danielle Gee]

NICOLE: I soooo happy for you!!!

[steftoday]

congrats Nicole! Enjoy your new life, and have fun at the dance!

[Marleena]

Sounds like things are rolling along nicely for you Nicole. Congrats on being a grandma and all of the rest!

[Barbara Ella]

What a wonderful start Nicole. Just keep smiling and moving forward. Best of luck and fortune to you.

Barbara

[Suzanne F]

So happy for you!
Suzanne

[dreamer_2.0]

Congratulations, nicole!

[Angela Campbell]

It makes a lot of us feel better to see where someone has seen the success we all look for. Thanks for a little peek into what I hope to be able to report one day.

[Nicole Brown]

Thank you ladies, it truly warms my heart to know that I have your good wishes and kind thoughts. I have now been living in my new place for just about a week and I think I am finally beginning to realize that this wonderful new life I am living is the real thing. Just to be able to be me all of the time is truly something to be cherished. The simplest little things, like always having long polished nails, begins to have new meanings to me.

To answer a question that several of you asked, the dance was lovely. Diane and I arrived, it is so nice to not have to park your own car, entered the hall and immediately made our way to the bar. With a glass of white wine in hand, Diane began introducing me to some of her friends. As I said, it was a lovely evening, I even got to dance with several of the gentlemen who were there and simply loved each moment of it. Slow dancing as a woman, in heels, takes a little practice, but at least to me it is a simply wonderful sensation. Being led around the dance floor and dancing backwards is a different way of doing things, but I think that I can get use to it. LOL....

So, today is an all new day with new possibilities to experience life in this whole new way. After breakfast with my children and my grandson, WOW, I still can't believe I am a grandma, I have no definite plans. But if the rains hold off, I may drive down to the shore and walk along one of the boardwalks for a little while. I wish all of you a wonderful day also....

[MysticLady]

Slow dancing as a woman, in heels, takes a little practice, but at least to me it is a simply wonderful sensation. Being led around the dance floor and dancing backwards is a different way of doing things, but I think that I can get use to it. LOL....

When I tried it, I felt as I had too always lead. Still need too work on that myself. I'm sure we looked funny out on the dance floor just crashing into each other. :heehee:

[Claire Cook]

Nicole,

Thanks so much for sharing this. I'm sure that there will be bumps in the road, and downs as well as ups, but every day will bring new experiences. Like being a grandma, like being led on the dance floor. Do keep us posted!

And remember the old saw about Ginger Rogers -- she had to do everything that Fred did, but backwards and in high heels....

[abigailf]

Congrats Nicole. I am so, so happy for you and I so get the feelings you describe. Though I could do without the cleaning up of the makeup and the wearing of bra's, they really are uncomfortable.

Oh and congrats Grandma. That is so awesome. You are so fortunate.

Hope to see ya soon.

[Nicole Brown]

Nicole,

Thanks so much for sharing this. I'm sure that there will be bumps in the road, and downs as well as ups, but every day will bring new experiences. Like being a grandma, like being led on the dance floor. Do keep us posted!

And remember the old saw about Ginger Rogers -- she had to do everything that Fred did, but backwards and in high heels....

So very true Claire, I just absolutely love what Ginger Rogers said. I have heard that statement before and couldn't agree with it more. Initially I thought it was kind of funny, funny that is until the first time I tried dancing backwards in high heels, WOW what an awakening. Over the years I learned to appreciate how much practice it can take to dance as a woman and look graceful.


Congrats Nicole. I am so, so happy for you and I so get the feelings you describe. Though I could do without the cleaning up of the makeup and the wearing of bra's, they really are uncomfortable.

Oh and congrats Grandma. That is so awesome. You are so fortunate.

Hope to see ya soon.

Many, many thanks Tammy, I hope you are feeling well and getting back to normal. Having just gone full time this is all kinda new to me, so I still love wearing my bra and don't mind applying and removing my makeup one single bit. If I am really lucky I will continue to embrace these same feeling in years to come....

I visited my son's house again today to enjoy brunch with my children and my grandson. I simply can't believe how addicted I have become to holding, feeding and playing with the little guy. I enjoy it all right up til the time that he needs to be changed... LOL....

And ,yes, let's try and get together as soon as you can. Call me when you can....

[traci_k]

Nicole, Soooo happy for you. Uplifting stories like these give us all hope.

XOXOX,

[Nicole Brown]

So, it has been just over a week and a half since I posted my last thread and called it finally. What could possibly happen in a silly little week and a half.

Well, let's see. I got my ears pierced, I visited my surgeon and scheduled my FFS for the third week in September, that's just 6 weeks from now. I went to the Motor Vehicle agency and got a new drivers license with Nicole's picture on it and my gender marker now reads female.

Being that I am now in my one year real life test, and living full time as Nicole, I went and bought a new car as Nicole. Tonight I attended a welcome party at my new condo, was accepted by everyone I met and was even asked out by one of my neighbors, and yes, he is a handsome gentlemen.

So, I guess quite a bit can happen in just a silly little week and a half. I thing I am really going to love my new life.

[DeeArel]

I am glad life is going your way. Sounds like you are in a very happy place.

[Kandy Barr]

Wow Niki, a date already!!!!You go girl, I'm so happy for you. I'll PM you soon..... Kandy

[groove67]

I am so happy for you Nicole it is really wonderful being accepted as a woman that you have known you always where, doors opened, chairs pulled out. hands held, and yes dancing on the floor in his arms. what a great feeling being whom you always knew you where. your girl friend Marianne forever

[Angela Campbell]

It makes me feel good when I see this kind of news. After all the fears, anxiety and negative emotions I see there can be a good side to all of this for me to look forward to. I hope it stays this way for you, and I cannot wait until i catch up with you!