In trouble for wearing nail polish.

[Stephy]

On Tuesday, while I was working from home I had put some red nail polish on my toenails and dressed. I decided not to take the nail polish off since it is winter and I am wearing socks 80% of the time (and stockings 10% !) and figured nobody would see it anyway. Well, this morning I was taking a shower and my wife suddenly decided to get in with me. I thought she must have seen my toes and wasn't bothered by them. After some time, we got out the shower and started drying off. Suddenly she freaks out and shouts - "Why have you got red nail polish on - take it off! What if the kids see you? What will people think if you change at gym and they see you like that?" Reluctantly, I got the nail polish remover out and took it off, while she lectured me about it.

I felt so down after that. Having thought that she had accepted it, and then finding that I was quite mistaken. I just want to be me. Isn't it unfair that it is acceptable for guys to inject ink over most of their skin (which personally I think is gross) but a little pretty, temporary colour on the toenails is taboo?

[MissTee]

Sounds like your wife doesn't want you "out," and that maybe you pushed the envelope too far for her comfort. My wife is very accepting and has been for several decades, and our agreement is that we keep it to ourselves. No out in public, no telling the kids, etc. She will gently nudge me back when she thinks I'm getting over confident and risking discovery. I have to wonder if it were just the two off you off alone somewhere would she react as strongly, or at all?

[Stevie]

I understand totally if my wife saw that she would have the same reaction.

[MysticLady]

After some time, we got out the shower and started drying off. Suddenly she freaks out and shouts - "Why have you got red nail polish on - take it off! What if the kids see you? What will people think if you change at gym and they see you like that?" Reluctantly, I got the nail polish remover out and took it off, while she lectured me about it.


Hi Stephy. I would have said.........Ahhh, Shut Up. Stop Nagging Me. I like them and that's that.:straightface:

Stephy, it's your fault for bringing this out in me:heehee:. A nagging and lecturing woman is very tiresome.

[winny]

hi stephy,
i have to agree with victoria on this issue. people don't really care about what you have on your fingers and toes.. it's her own insecurities she's worried about.. if you're ok with polish, then so be it!

cheers,
winny

[Kate Simmons]

Sometimes you have to decide what is more important, your relationship with someone or being yourself. Any talking or agreements have to be between the two of you.:)

[Nyla F]

Years ago a coworker came to work with fingernail polish. It was a dark color, not a overtly feminine red or pink. I did a double take, but didn't say anything. I didn't hear anyone make a big deal out of it. We didn't have a dress code and some people would stay in their gym clothes after a lunch time game of basketball, so I guess people had a more relaxed attitude there. I miss that place.

[Tina B.]

Yes she over reacted, my wife would have just said, "just keep your shoes on", but having said that, after all you did surprise her, and word is out, if you talk, and let them know what you plan to do, and give them time to digest it, you have a better chance of success than if you surprise them. You can never be sure how others will react, but most people jump back when surprised, they don't push forward into it!

[kimdl93]

Sounds like you need to talk to hr about what makes you feel good and about what she fears. Her fears may be overblown and she may not fully understand your needs.

[Kandy Barr]

My late s/o was accepting and even taught me how to do my nails professionally, I miss her so but have no desire to go through the process of finding another for just the reasons you state about your wife's reactions. I have to agree w/ Victoria on this and in mho, your wife way over reacted. Probably time to have a long over due talk w/ her if you plan on continuing to dress. Just a suggestion..... but??????

[linda allen]

"What if the kids see you? What will people think if you change at gym and they see you like that?"

That's the answer right there. She's protecting the children from embarrassment and protecting you as well. You may not care about yourself, but do you want to have to explain toenail polish to your children? Do you want her to have to explain it?

Not all women wear nail polish so it's not something you have to do to crossdress or feel feminine. If you're sharing a house with your wife and children there are lines that need to be drawn. This seems to be one of them. Put some clear polish on your nails and move on. Your wife is not being unreasonable here.

[Angie G]

I've had red polish on my toes for up to a week at a time even at work and my wife never says a wordabout it. She knows I take care no one can see it.And I wear clear polish on my fingers 24/7.:hugs:
Angie

[Tracii G]

Sounds like you need to put your foot down.

[Jean 103]

I stopped by a friends house the other day , he answered the door with pink toe nails. I didn't say a thing, and he said his kids did it wile he was sleeping. I could go on with other examples, bottom line nobody really cares. It is probably more of a trust issue with your wife, talk with her.

[Leona]

My wife puts pictures on facebook whenever I repaint my nails. :)

In 1995, I went to work at a fast food place wearing purple nail polish on my hands that I'd let my then-girlfriend put on. I took so much crap for it that I found myself standing up for it and arguing "If the girls can wear it, why can't I?" Eventually, after a week or so worth of fighting in which my job was threatened, guys were threatening to jump me after work, etc, the acceptance came.

[Stephy]

Thanks for all the advice and support. It seems there is quite a range of opinion on this. I'm going to go with accepting her wishes on this for now. Perhaps in the future she may grow to accept it more. I guess it's not important enough to make a big issue of anyway. There are bigger fish to fry.

Hugs,
Stephy

[candydawn75]

I have to agree with the others that somewhat side with her and her comfort. My wife is very accepting and is loving and encouraging about it. However, she will tell me when she isn't comfortable and if I am going over the top. Friday night she dressed me and said "wow I think you could pass" (yes I know she was being VERY nice). I said let go for a drive?? and she said if we were in our new town we would just not here (we are moving). I was fine with that, she just wasn't comfortable with it. You may want to sit her down and somewhat draw hard lines that you both agree on then you will know.

[VAWyman]

I was wearing light pink toenail polish with some glimmer to it a while back. I had it on for several days. My daughter came over unexpectedly and my youngest grand daughter said "Uhhh pretty!" to which my wife asked what was pretty. She answered "Papa's toenails." Ironically the only think that saved me from a tongue lashing was the kids being there.

[Eryn]

A better response would have been to tell her that you had considered both issues and that your children do not come into the shower unannounced and that you had no intention of wearing the polish to the gym.

To me it seems that you need to have a sit-down with your wife and tell her exactly how you feel. I get the impression that she is of the mind that she can shame you out of CDing. She probably does not understand the gravity of being TG and you should try to rectify that.

[Rachel Morley]

"Why have you got red nail polish on - take it off! What if the kids see you? What will people think if you change at gym and they see you like that?"
You see, IMHO that was all about her freaking out because of concerns for her ... not concerns for you. Did she think you hadn't of thought about things like that? It was all about her. Sigh. That said, marriage is about togetherness and so you should maybe talk to her about why she has such concerns and dis she think that you hadn't considered the consequences of such an action like painting your toenails.

[linda allen]

Sounds like you need to put your foot down.

I'm going to guess that you're not married and have never been married. Partners in a marriage don't "put their foot down", partners discuss things and work things out to where they are mutually acceptable.

[I Am Paula]

You should storm right up to her, point at her top, and say 'Don't ever wear that top again, it's disgusting'. I guarantee you'll be feeling a size 7 1/2 Birkenstock to the cojones. Now who's playing fair. Go paint your toenails.

[Karen_K]

Where the lines are drawn is not too critical, it could be at toenail polish, or shaved legs, or going out in public, etc. Many couples with CDs find a set of boundaries that work for both people. But when the lines are not well defined ahead of time, then its possible for one party to feel like the other has crossed one of them, even if there was no intent to do so. It sounds like that might be what happened here. I would talk with her and try to work out a set of circumstances that works for both of you.

[Princess Grandpa]

A better response would have been to tell her that you had considered both issues and that your children do not come into the shower unannounced and that you had no intention of wearing the polish to the gym.

To me it seems that you need to have a sit-down with your wife and tell her exactly how you feel. I get the impression that she is of the mind that she can shame you out of CDing. She probably does not understand the gravity of being TG and you should try to rectify that.

::flowers::

That's would have been the perfect response. Only you know if you should bring it up again.

Hug
Rita

[Phoebe Reece]

Every couple has to work out what boundaries work for them. Marriage is a partnership and both sides need to be able to compromise at times. My own wife, who has been very accepting of my crossdressing for over 40 years, has issues with me wearing nail polish on my toes at times that I am not going out crossdressed. It's not that big a deal to me either way, so I take it off when I am not going to be dressed for a week or so. Life is much simpler when I agree to some of the few things she asks me not to do. Choose your battles carefully.

[Jason+]

Suddenly she freaks out and shouts - "Why have you got red nail polish on - take it off! What if the kids see you? What will people think if you change at gym and they see you like that?" Reluctantly, I got the nail polish remover out and took it off, while she lectured me about it.



I'm going to guess that you're not married and have never been married. Partners in a marriage don't "put their foot down", partners discuss things and work things out to where they are mutually acceptable.

Linda, where is the mutual discussion and resolution here? Granted we only have one side of the story but in what we have there has most assuredly been a foot put down and it isn't Stephy's. I agree with Stephy that there are much bigger fish to fry than nail polish whether it's to feel feminine or a simple liking of the color.

[Leah Lynn]

I'm going to guess that you're not married and have never been married. Partners in a marriage don't "put their foot down", partners discuss things and work things out to where they are mutually acceptable.

Right. In 38 years of marriage, I couldn't possibly count the times she "put her foot down!"

Leah

[WandaRae2009]

I know where you are coming from. My wife asked please use something less noticeable. I was happy with that since it was not never do that again.

[whowhatwhen]

It's 2013, nobody cares.
I've had mine painted since Tuesday and today I got a couple of "Why?"s from family but I just said it's because I want to and that was that.

IMO You need to allow yourself to have painted nails around your kids, this **** has to be normalized so it's less of an issue for people coming after you.

[Sometimes Steffi]

On Tuesday, while I was working from home I had put some red nail polish on my toenails and dressed. I decided not to take the nail polish off since it is winter and I am wearing socks 80% of the time (and stockings 10% !) and figured nobody would see it anyway. Well, this morning I was taking a shower and my wife suddenly decided to get in with me. I thought she must have seen my toes and wasn't bothered by them. After some time, we got out the shower and started drying off. Suddenly she freaks out and shouts - "Why have you got red nail polish on - take it off! What if the kids see you? What will people think if you change at gym and they see you like that?" Reluctantly, I got the nail polish remover out and took it off, while she lectured me about it.


Um, I guess I'm just lucky. I painted my toe nails blue when I went out at the end of June, and I finally removed it a couple of days ago. And I did wear it to the gym (at least to the yoga classes). Fortunately, or maybe unfortunately, my wife doesn't usually jump in the shower with me.

One of the reasons that I left it on so long was that I couldn't find enough alone tome to take it off. You know how long you can smell nail polish remover after you use it.

[Lorileah]

"Why have you got red nail polish on :idontknow: Um...because the pink was all dried up???
What if....? again :idontknow: Maybe the guys at the gym should quit looking at your feet? Kinda always bothers me when people worry about what other people think of YOUR body. Especially in a gym where either most need work OR they are so narcissistic they do things to their own bodies to make them look ...umm.."sexier" Like I dunno shaving ALL the hair off?? And before the kids see it would be a good time to start teaching tolerance? They are going to meet a lot of people who are different than they are (not saying you should strut out to your kids with pink toes but an ounce of prevention makes the medicine go down)




I'm going to guess that you're not married and have never been married. Partners in a marriage don't "put their foot down", partners discuss things and work things out to where they are mutually acceptable.

Tracii was making a joke ...toenails ...foot down?

[Beverley Sims]

It all depends how far down the road of acceptance you are to do things like that.

[DonnaMo]

I had almost the same thing happen to me.....Except it was when I acendently came home still wearing my earrings.....that was sure hard to explain.

[Rebecca Watson]

"What if the kids see you? What will people think if you change at gym and they see you like that?"

That's the answer right there. She's protecting the children from embarrassment and protecting you as well. You may not care about yourself, but do you want to have to explain toenail polish to your children? Do you want her to have to explain it?


I'm "in trouble" for painted fingernails. And it's not hypothetical in my situation (I showed my daughter), who made comments about it in kindergarten, thereby embarrassing my wife. I now have ugly guy nails. At least, my wife seemed touched that I was able to do this for her, despite knowing I didn't want to.


It's 2013, nobody cares.

I think this heavily depends on which country you're in. In Canada, it's not a big deal.

- Becky

[MysticLady]

I think this heavily depends on which country you're in. In Canada, it's not a big deal.


I think it's as small as in neighborhoods. I'm sure, in Canada, there are neighborhoods where you know it ain't going too happen. "Mean Street" is what we call it here in in the US.

[Tamara Croft]

Oh my days... knickers in a twist over a bit of nail polish... :rolleyes:

I really don't understand these women (I am one btw), who get in a flap about such things.... I think the kids would probably think it's funny (depending on their age) and at the gym, they really wouldn't give a crap tbh... Your wife needs to chill out a bit :)

[MysticLady]

Tamara, I really like your Avatar......................YOU GO GIRL.:hugs:

[Tamara Croft]

I think Stephy should get one on a t-shirt lol :D

I have one that says... I won't keep calm and you can f**koff lol...

Or we could make one that says.... Keep calm and wear nail polish :D

[MysticLady]

How About................Just Stop Nagging Me Woman.....................:)

[Krististeph]

I used to be worried about being 'discovered', but that is less important now. More important is making sure my crossdressing does not adversely affect my family or work: My wife would be more upset than I would by comments from neighbors or co-workers, and at work the possibility that it might affect the way my peers support me is a concern.
It's a hard thing to understand exactly what your wife feels, but talking does help. Just remember- you are not going to change her opinion in one talk, this is something she needs to process. Same with you- you may need to understand her concerns a little better in order to be on the same page.
With kids in the picture, I can't advise much, except get as much info and as many personal accounts (both positive and negative) as possible- treat it as if you were doing a term paper on the subject- even write up an informal report & summary- this is what clinical staff do when they need to explore a subject- there is a good reason they do it this way- it really helps you to sort out and define the obstacles or areas of concern.
But yeah, it does sound somewhat like she is over-reacting for her own concerns more than the whole of the family. Take the high road: allow some criticism to pass in order to get to the next stage of better communication. (Reminds me of the time I was helping my wife to learn to ride a motorcycle- more than a few outing ended with her being rather peeved- but I persevered and soon she was past the steepest part of the learning curve. Never got much outright thanks for being patient, but it certainly paid off in terms of relationship strength/closeness: this was close to 25 years ago, we are still married & close to each other.

Good luck- and remember this quote by Francois Marie Arouet (Voltaire): ~"No problem can withstand the assault of sustained thinking"


No problem can withstand the assault of sustained thinking. - See more at: http://quotationsbook.com/quote/32522/#sthash.5QBIBEMH.dpuf

[Majella St Gerard]

Sounds like someone is on a power trip, you are being bullied. Nail polish is no big thing, kids don't care and why would you care what strangers at the gym think. The last time I checked there was no law against crossdressing or wearing nail polish. And by-the-way women crossdress all the time, next time she wear pants, tell her that that is not ladylike and go put a dress on. See how well that goes.

[EllieOPKS]

It's kinda funny that she got so excited with just your toes. I'll bet you were thinking she's really going to hate my dress LOL! So maybe you should just go with a clear coat and let that be it for now. I personally mix pink with my clear which gives a pretty natural looking color but its really the shine that I like. We had our grand children over the house a couple of weeks ago. My wife was painting her finger nails and you guessed it, 2 boys and a girl got there fingers painted and their toes painted. They all sat with Grandma and made a cute picture. Anyway, if I were you, I would clear coat and invite her back in the shower :)

[suchacutie]

It appears that the two of you don't understand each other's feelings. I would suggest this is the tip of a large iceberg that should not be left to fester. Calm discussion and open exchange over a cup of coffee (or whatever) could be s real positive.

[ChristineKnox]

Anyway, if I were you, I would clear coat and invite her back in the shower :)


As a GG this made me smile this Monday morning. It is about compromise and discussing issues before hand. Being brash to your loved one and having a "deal with it" attitude never works out for long. Nail polish doesn't bother me in the least bit but my SO communicates his needs and wants with me so there aren't any surprises. If you love someone, respect them.

[Stephy]

Sounds like someone is on a power trip, you are being bullied. Nail polish is no big thing, kids don't care and why would you care what strangers at the gym think. The last time I checked there was no law against crossdressing or wearing nail polish. And by-the-way women crossdress all the time, next time she wear pants, tell her that that is not ladylike and go put a dress on. See how well that goes.

That would be every day apart from the odd special occasion!

[Wildaboutheels]

Just WHAT color red was it?

Obviously you do not understand the power of red. Our reaction to it ["most people's] is not totally a conscious thing. Red is basically a "in your face, look at me color". If she does not normally see "signs" from you, her reaction is somewhat understandable.

You don't say if this is the same woman you were married to in 2004? If you were in the hospital for a week, certainly she knew WHY? Are you in a DADT?

Since you have only recently started dressing again... Unless she is willing to talk about it or compromise. If you are determined to forge ahead, why not start with a much less "offensive" color for a week or two. Something almost natural colored or light pink/hard to notice. Or even black. A # of "unique" people wear black nail polish. It somehow seems to get a free pass.

IF she is willing to talk about "it", spotting you with red polish on is probably a good a reason as anything to have a heart to heart with her, IMO. And TELL her what you want/need /expect/know about your "hobby". Otherwise, she is likely to have all kinds of wild thoughts. [as so often reported here]

[linda allen]

Sounds like someone is on a power trip, you are being bullied. Nail polish is no big thing, kids don't care and why would you care what strangers at the gym think. The last time I checked there was no law against crossdressing or wearing nail polish. And by-the-way women crossdress all the time, next time she wear pants, tell her that that is not ladylike and go put a dress on. See how well that goes.
This response is a good example of something on the Internet that should not be considered as good advice. Nothing presented here is close to reality. :thumbsdn:

[JohnH]

Stephy,

I think your wife over-reacted. However, you might restrict your colors to dark red, black, gray, dark blue, and other relatively masculine colors. When it is sandal weather I wear colored nail polish on my toenails because with out the polish they look really gnarly.

I was on a contract assignment and I was staying at a cheap motel where a lot of the clientele were tradesmen such as truck drivers and utility linemen. And in the evenings outside we drank beer together and talked as a bunch of men. I typically wore a denim skirt and had my toenails painted and the only comment was that I did a sloppy job with my toenails which I did. I did not get any flack from wearing the denim skirt.

John (Johanna)

[Eryn]

And by-the-way women crossdress all the time, next time she wear pants, tell her that that is not ladylike and go put a dress on. See how well that goes.

Moderator note:
Before this blows up let's take it as given that this concept has been argued to death and the conclusion has always been that GGs inpants aren't crossdressing. Back to the topic at hand.

[JohnH]

And I would like more men to take the attitude of wearing skirts and dresses in a masculine context as exeplified by SkirtCafe.org.

I agree a woman who wears pants in a feminine context is not crossdressing any more than a man wearing a kilt or a man wearing a denim skirt with otherwise masculine presentation.

John (Johanna)

[MysticLady]

I'm going to guess that you're not married and have never been married. Partners in a marriage don't "put their foot down", partners discuss things and work things out to where they are mutually acceptable.

Sorry Linda, sometimes depending on the maturity of a woman, you must if not, she will drive you either insane or out the door, I chose the Door.(only because my family needed a place to stay):straightface:

[Majella St Gerard]

This response is a good example of something on the Internet that should not be considered as good advice. Nothing presented here is close to reality. :thumbsdn:

excuse me for having an opinion, i'm just saying, why do women get all the choices in what to wear and how to present themselves.

[linda allen]

Whenever anyone reads advice on the Internet, especially something as important as something affecting a marriage and children, it's important to remember that the person giving the advice has no stake in the outcome from following that advice. Also remember, that person may be coming from a very different place and culture than yours and what may have worked for that person may not work for you.

Also, there are people on the Internet forums who will intentionally give bad advice just to get a rise out of people or to see if anyone takes them seriously.

Think about it.

[Dianne S]

Sounds like someone is on a power trip, you are being bullied. Nail polish is no big thing, kids don't care and why would you care what strangers at the gym think. The last time I checked there was no law against crossdressing or wearing nail polish.

If you are married, expressing an attitude such as the above is a quick way to no longer being married.

Part of being married is to respect one another's feelings. And when the desires of partners come into conflict, they need to figure out an acceptable compromise and not just say "my way or the highway."


excuse me for having an opinion, i'm just saying, why do women get all the choices in what to wear and how to present themselves.

Because life is unfair. I'm sure many women could bend your ear for hours on the harassment they face at work, the glass ceilings they face in their careers, and their nervousness at walking alone in dark places at night.

Society is unfair to men and to women, just in different ways.

[MysticLady]

Also, there are people on the Internet forums who will intentionally give bad advice just to get a rise out of people or to see if anyone takes them seriously.

Think about it.

I understand your concern, Linda

I don't give advice. I offer opinions only. I also share my story in hopes that there maybe something that someone may take away and utilize in their relationship. I believe that most that visit here are intelligent enough to make their own decisions on their relationships. Everyone has different factors involved and based on those and their insight w/ their own family, they are the ones in the best position to make that call. If there's something in my own story that may help them, they will make that decision and not me.

[Jamie001]

Your wife is overreacting. Red nail polish on your toenails is not a big deal. If you do some googling for "men wearing toenail polish" and "men wearing nail polish" you will see that a lot of straight guys are wearing nail polish especially on their toenails. Many actors, athletes, and other guys are wearing nail polish.

I suggest that you show your wife this article from the New York Times that was published in June.

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/06/13/fashion/manly-manicures-end-in-color.html?_r=0

[dragdoll]

I'll skip the whole "women are obsessed with controlling men" argument and just post a picture of MMA fighter Chuck Liddell with painted toenails:

http://www.celebrityclubber.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/lidell2-389x595.jpg

I dare anyone to call this guy a sissy to his face.

[Tracii G]

It seems my comment on putting your foot down got some harsh words.
If the woman can say no to their male partner painting their toenails and demand they remove it how is that not putting their foot down?
If she has the right to say no you have the right as well to say no and wear toenail polish if you want.
I understand the whole marriage/partnership thing all too well been there done that twice.
A true loving two way partnership should not work with one person setting all the rules.
I for one ain't toeing the line for anyone.
For all you here that do everything your wife says trust me they don't respect you very much.
Most women I know don't expect or want their guys to do everything that they (women) want.They want want you to stand up for yourself and say no sometimes.

[dragdoll]

Here's another interesting article/interview that touches upon men painting their toenails:

http://prommanow.com/2011/05/02/born-this-way-team-dos-santos-fighter-ramsey-nijem-dishes-on-disgracing-lesnar-and-beef-between-coaches/

[KayleahDee]

It has been a long time since posting something on here, but I saw something that I had to reply on. I enjoy wearing nail polish. And I will admit doing so did cost me a job delivering pizzas from a mom-and-pop store. Seems that they delivered to an area of redneck-like folks that made people wonder about me. Since becoming more of a tg follower, I almost always wear nail polish non-stop. Have some on right now as I type this. Kinda like a greenish-blue color. I love it! So I express a bit of femininity by wearing polish on my nails. Why shouldn't I?

[TheMissus]

Sorry, but I'm one of the GG's who would be bothered with the red nail polish. With kids in the house why on earth are you taking risks like this? Do you want them to find out? And if so, is this not a cowardly way of sharing such HUGE information? (Yes, to a teenager, Dad wearing dresses is very big news!)

Sorry, I sound harsh but I read far too much here about acceptance and very little about reality. CD is NOT a mainstream activity for men - sorry, not even in 2013. If you want to change this fact, start a movement, but don't involve others unless they WANT to be involved. You can't force people to support something just because you happen to like it!

Until then, if you desire a 'normal' family life you really have to put away the red nail polish and blend in like the rest of us. That's all your wife wants and if she desired an alternative lifestyle she'd have done that already. If you can't manage this, you'll have to pull up your big girl panties and go live that alternative life without her.

Sheesh!

[Jamie001]

And I would like more men to take the attitude of wearing skirts and dresses in a masculine context as exeplified by SkirtCafe.org.

I agree a woman who wears pants in a feminine context is not crossdressing any more than a man wearing a kilt or a man wearing a denim skirt with otherwise masculine presentation.

John (Johanna)

That is one of the problems. Why are men restricted to doing everything in a masculine context, whereas women are given latitude regarding incorporating masculine traits/presentation? There are even magazine articles about how to add a masculine touch to an otherwise feminine wardrobe/look.


Sorry, but I'm one of the GG's who would be bothered with the red nail polish. With kids in the house why on earth are you taking risks like this? Do you want them to find out? And if so, is this not a cowardly way of sharing such HUGE information? (Yes, to a teenager, Dad wearing dresses is very big news!)

Sorry, I sound harsh but I read far too much here about acceptance and very little about reality. CD is NOT a mainstream activity for men - sorry, not even in 2013. If you want to change this fact, start a movement, but don't involve others unless they WANT to be involved. You can't force people to support something just because you happen to like it!

Until then, if you desire a 'normal' family life you really have to put away the red nail polish and blend in like the rest of us. That's all your wife wants and if she desired an alternative lifestyle she'd have done that already. If you can't manage this, you'll have to pull up your big girl panties and go live that alternative life without her.

Sheesh!

Wow, that is quite a biased opinion. What about when women add masculine items to their look? It is a two-way street. What if the husband were to demand that his wife only wear very feminine clothing at all times? It is the same.

[Zylia]

@Jamie001 I'm new here, but I already understood that this point has been hammered home thread after thread. Life (or society) is unfair, just ask women. Either way, tight fitting male clothes, deep V-necks and whatever else the 'metrosexual' trend gave us (and left behind) beg to differ with the point that men are 'restricted'.

[Tracii G]

Its just toenail polish and why is it such a big deal?
It seems men all over are wearing it these days from rockers to Emo's and even skinheads in the deep south.
I see no reason why guys can't wear it if they want to.

[MysticLady]

It seems my comment on putting your foot down got some harsh words.

No offense here Tracii. Sometimes, it appears standing your ground appears offensive too others. They'll get over it. Just give em a couple of days then they'll love you again.:heehee:


It has been a long time since posting something on here, but I saw something that I had to reply on. I enjoy wearing nail polish. And I will admit doing so did cost me a job delivering pizzas from a mom-and-pop store.

Good Job Kayleah. You Go Girlie:hugs:


Sorry, but I'm one of the GG's who would be bothered with the red nail polish. With kids in the house why on earth are you taking risks like this? !

Hi Mrs., You just can't stay away, I see. I'm really glad. I really enjoy you being here. Anyway, Who runs the household, your husband or your kids? My kids are lucky they have parents that love them and have a roof over their heads. There are things that they not need too know. If a teenager asks Mom about Dad wearing nail polish then, Mom tells the teenager, "That what Daddy likes and what Daddy likes, I like(even though you may not), any other questions. If not, go and clean up your room because it's a pigstiey.




You can't force people to support something just because you happen to like it!!

Who's forcing? Is doing something you enjoy w/o being blatant about it, forcing someone?



If you can't manage this, you'll have to pull up your big girl panties and go live that alternative life without her.

Sheesh!

I did pull up my chonies and decided to live my life w/o her. I left. I admit, I miss my family but, I do not miss the BS.

[dragdoll]

Sorry, but I'm one of the GG's who would be bothered with the red nail polish. With kids in the house why on earth are you taking risks like this? Do you want them to find out? And if so, is this not a cowardly way of sharing such HUGE information? (Yes, to a teenager, Dad wearing dresses is very big news!)

Sorry, I sound harsh but I read far too much here about acceptance and very little about reality. CD is NOT a mainstream activity for men - sorry, not even in 2013. If you want to change this fact, start a movement, but don't involve others unless they WANT to be involved. You can't force people to support something just because you happen to like it!

Until then, if you desire a 'normal' family life you really have to put away the red nail polish and blend in like the rest of us. That's all your wife wants and if she desired an alternative lifestyle she'd have done that already. If you can't manage this, you'll have to pull up your big girl panties and go live that alternative life without her.

Sheesh!

While I agree with the "sometimes you can't have your cake and eat it too" type sentiment, it's just nail polish for christ's sake, like others here have already said. It's not like he popped out the bathroom wearing a bra and panties, or walked around the house in a wig and a dress. Get over it.

[Tracii G]

Sorry, but I'm one of the GG's who would be bothered with the red nail polish.

Sorry, I sound harsh but I read far too much here about acceptance and very little about reality. CD is NOT a mainstream activity for men - sorry, not even in 2013. If you want to change this fact, start a movement, but don't involve others unless they WANT to be involved. You can't force people to support something just because you happen to like it!

I guess in a way thats what I am doing by dressing the way I do, its my way of forwarding the movement its Ok for a guys/girls to be transgender and express how they feel inside.
Seems you are hung up and draw the line at nail polish on a man's toes.

[Stephanie47]

Unlike some of the militants have posted here, marriage is between two people. One does not drag the other behind like a suitcase on wheels. It appears, not having read all the responses, that your wife is aware of your cross dressing. She has a well founded fear of what the general non accepting public will say. Whatever you do will have an effect on her, your children, the relationships with family, friends, coworkers, etc. It seems you expanded the boundaries without discussion.

[MysticLady]

Unlike some of the militants have posted here, marriage is between two people. One does not drag the other behind like a suitcase on wheels.

:heehee:....:beatup:....:bitchslap:.....:Playnice: ......:smashcomp.......:outtahere:

[Zylia]

While I agree with the "sometimes you can't have your cake and eat it too" type sentiment, it's just nail polish for christ's sake, like others here have already said. It's not like he popped out the bathroom wearing a bra and panties, or walked around the house in a wig and a dress. Get over it.

It's not about the nail polish. Stephy's wife drew a line in the sand and Stephy crossed it. Some people definitely fail to see the forest through the trees here, and if it's 'just' nail polish you may as well 'just' remove it the moment you get back in drab. Anyway, Stephy posted another thread about the ongoing quest of combining marriage and cross-dressing, we might as well continue there :)

[TheMissus]

While I agree with the "sometimes you can't have your cake and eat it too" type sentiment, it's just nail polish for christ's sake, like others here have already said. It's not like he popped out the bathroom wearing a bra and panties, or walked around the house in a wig and a dress. Get over it.

I only post these days when I read a GG is suffering and the OP's wife is clearly suffering for this "just nail polish" as you so eloquently put it. If it were JUST about polish I doubt anyone would need this forum but it's not - much of the time it's about men chipping slowly away at the person their wife THOUGHT they'd married; chipping and tweaking and, whether they intended to or not, forcing her to live a new reality she sure as hell didn't sign up for.

That's not about eating your cake - that's taking said cake and throwing it in someone's face! Yes, that's how a wife feels when her husband petulantly pushes his CD behavior further and further without consideration or conversation. It's insulting to our intelligence.

And Mysticlady, I'm sorry your marriage ended but sounds like you're stronger than even I realized. I love reading your thoughts :)

[MysticLady]

And Mysticlady, I'm sorry your marriage ended but sounds like you're stronger than even I realized. I love reading your thoughts :)

Why, thank you Mrs. You're a good woman. Your Hubby is lucky too have you. Please, don't give him too hard of a time.:) He really does love you.

[DanielleT]

I can understand and relate, I wear nail polish on my toe nails which draws lots of stares when I work out at the gym. I suppose my smooth shaven legs to do, but to date, I haven't been asked to leave or anything like that.

[Ressie]

I put my foot down immediately last time this happened to me. I then immediately applied nail polish remover! :)

[Tracii G]

The Missus I do get your point about the CD chipping away analogy so I apologize if I came off as a militant LOL
I have been thru two marriages where I had my life run by the missus.No CD ing at the time so that issue was not on the table.
These days if I date I just tell them before the first date what my proclivities are.Much easier that way.

[Aly Cat]

I had something similar happen when shaving my legs. I figured my wife wouldn't see it because it was that time of the month so i knew nothing would be happening where we would be rubbing legs together and I wear pants 99% of the rest of the time.
I was wrestling with my kids and one of my pant legs pulled up a bit and she saw it. She got mad and we argued for almost 3 hours afterwards.
In all honesty, im continuing to shave my legs. It makes me happy, doesn't physically hurt anyone, and as for my wife.... well, if she wants me to keep them unshaved, she's going to have to give me a reason that its better than just bedroom time once a month or something. That's about the only time she feels my legs or even sees them.
I plan on changing one thing per month that makes me happy. It may involve coming out more or it may not have anything to do with dressing, but I think it's important to be happy and little steps in that direction are what I'm focusing on. I'm working slowly so that things don't come to a boil too fast for the frog in the pot. ;-)

[mrsjbperry]

What about when women add masculine items to their look? What if the husband were to demand that his wife only wear very feminine clothing at all times?

lets see as a gg here is what i have to say on it. women wearing men clothing is accepted more so than a men wearing women clothing. im sorry but if my husband told me he wanted me to wear dressy women clothes all the time i would be out the door.

now on to the original post. as a gg i am accepting to things that my husband does. but there are times that i dont want him to be Nicole i want him to be my husband. it is one thing being told that you cd and it is another seeing it. stephy may have told her wife but it is one thing being told that, but it is another seeing it. i accept my husband for who he is, but there are times when nicole comes out that i just want him as my husband

[Stacey Summer]

I agree that discussion and compromise is key to a relationship with a not-entirely accepting SO. The OP may have crossed a line but tbh it sounds like her SO overreacted. It was in the shower for heavens sake. How many teenagers do you know who walk in on their parents when they know they're in the shower?

As for TheMissus. Well your post about us CDs chipping away at the man our wives thought they married is hypocrisy in the extreme. There is a meme going round that shows a couple getting together, the woman changing the man a lot and then dumping him because he's not the man she fell in live with. I see this a lot, in fact my ex tried to change me far more than I was comfortable with. Women try to change their men more than the other way round.

[Eva Skarlatova]

Yestrday I saw my wife polishing her fingernails.I started a talk about how I love black nail polish. Out of the blue my wife asked me if I want to polish one of my finger nails, just a try...I was so excited and ofcourse sugest her to polish my nails, all of them. Guess - she did it. We had a fun joking during the process :) I removed it a few hours later because of my kids, but the butterflies are still in my stomach. Is this a good sign? Can I start thinking to go out? I will be happiest man in the world to share that "my secret" with my wife...Could I dream?:)

[linda allen]

Sorry, but I'm one of the GG's who would be bothered with the red nail polish. With kids in the house why on earth are you taking risks like this? Do you want them to find out? And if so, is this not a cowardly way of sharing such HUGE information? (Yes, to a teenager, Dad wearing dresses is very big news!)

Sorry, I sound harsh but I read far too much here about acceptance and very little about reality. CD is NOT a mainstream activity for men - sorry, not even in 2013. If you want to change this fact, start a movement, but don't involve others unless they WANT to be involved. You can't force people to support something just because you happen to like it!

Until then, if you desire a 'normal' family life you really have to put away the red nail polish and blend in like the rest of us. That's all your wife wants and if she desired an alternative lifestyle she'd have done that already. If you can't manage this, you'll have to pull up your big girl panties and go live that alternative life without her.

Missus, Thanks for injecting a dose of reality into this thread. I often wonder what world some members here live in. It's certainly not the one I live in. The OP is dealing with her marriage and family, most likely a very important part of her life.

Regardless of how her wife worded it, she is right to be concerned about their children seeing daddy wearing polish on his toenails. And it doesn't matter if some TV personality or some group of off the wall men polish their toenails, "daddy" is in the real, mainstream world where normal men just don't do that.

Again, "reality".

[MysticLady]

Gawlee Linda, I don't think the Mrs.' Hubby is going too appreciate you kissing her booty, too much:heehee:. That part belongs to him also, you know:D. Jk. Don't get all rowled up. :hugs:

[Jamie001]

Missus, Thanks for injecting a dose of reality into this thread. I often wonder what world some members here live in. It's certainly not the one I live in. The OP is dealing with her marriage and family, most likely a very important part of her life.

Regardless of how her wife worded it, she is right to be concerned about their children seeing daddy wearing polish on his toenails. And it doesn't matter if some TV personality or some group of off the wall men polish their toenails, "daddy" is in the real, mainstream world where normal men just don't do that.

Again, "reality".

If you live by ideology such as "real men don't do that" then progress will never be made. That is the exact reason that men's fashion hasn't evolved significantly in the past 100 years! Men wearing earring are now somewhat common because 20 years ago some men started wearing earrings regardless of what other people thought. 20 years ago, tattoos were only for men. Women have now adopted tattoos. Nail polish is just color. There is no logical reason that a man can get a colorful tattoo but cannot wear nail polish, non whatsoever! Also, it is more important for a man to teach his children that being different is and that they should be proud of being different; not a mindless clone that simply blindly follows the herd. :2c:

[Tamara Croft]

Missus, Thanks for injecting a dose of reality into this thread. I often wonder what world some members here live in. It's certainly not the one I live in. Well thank god we don't live in your world, it would be boring as hell :rolleyes:

What law/rule states that no man should be allowed to wear nail polish?? none that I'm aware of... I think those that are saying how wrong the OP is for wearing nail polish, get over it already, she was in the damn shower, who the hell is going to see it in the shower?? It's OTT... My SO wears nail polish all the time, only one of my daughters knows shes a CD, the other does not.. but seeing him with polish on doesn't phase her one bit, she thinks its pretty funny... kids these days are more open, but if you want to push them in the closet, by all means do so... that's not teaching them a damn thing!!!

[TheMissus]

not a mindless clone that simply blindly follows the herd. :2c:

Now see, I don't view CD as going against the herd. Quite the opposite - I see men dressing as female cliches. Most here even talk of 'blending in' and passing so that they're not seen as different. No one here, in my mind, is fighting a battle to give men more freedom. Therefore, there's nothing much of use for children to learn here, other than daddy prefers to follow the female herd.

That said, I support anyone who takes on the job of trying to change at least one little mind.

[linda allen]

I guess it just doesn't pay to post an opinion if it's not the most popular opinion. I even got crucified by an administrator! :eek:

I'll be quiet now and go away. :angry:

[Tamara Croft]

I even got crucified by an administrator! :eek:
I'm also a member and you'd do well to remember that. If you got crucified by me as an Admin, you'd know about it :Angry3:



I'll be quiet now and go away. :angry:Good, best thing you've said on this thread yet!

[Eryn]

And with that, the thread is closed. When we stop talking about the issues and start chewing on each other the thread has jumped the shark.