Self Control

[happyallie]

As I continue on my journey I am very aware of two sides of Allie. I can see where Allie could take over. If Allie takes over I feel I will lose the balance I am looking for. Excess in moderation. I truly enjoy my fem side but I also enjoy my male side. I know there are many who are okay the one side. And that is more than okay. But for me, the real Allie can't exist without my other side. This isn't an issue for me but it is something I must be aware of. Everyone's journey is different. I was just wondering how many others have the same feelings?

[NicoleScott]

Many of us like both sides and don't want all or nothing. I may think about CDing every day, but the vast majority of my time is living as a guy, and I like that. Sometimes life's circumstances have prevented me from living the balanced life, but it always seems to work out over time.

I'm still trying to figure out what " excess in moderation" means. haha

[tiffanynjcd24]

The way that I have self control is that I live my life as a guy and work as a guy. Most of the times I think of want to dress up but when I am working or taking care of my priorities and learning new things and play video games, I tend to not think about it lol.

[Emi]

Its funny you bring that up because I logged on here to express nearly that same sentiment. My problem is in trying to find the balance because Emi wants to be rail thin curvy and as fem as it gets and my other side is not that. I like my male mode when I feel male. When Emi pops up I wish I did not have the big arms and strong legs.

Emi

[tiffanynjcd24]

Its funny you bring that up because I logged on here to express nearly that same sentiment. My problem is in trying to find the balance because Emi wants to be rail thin curvy and as fem as it gets and my other side is not that. I like my male mode when I feel male. When Emi pops up I wish I did not have the big arms and strong legs.

Emi

See I have the skinny body and I dont work out that much

[Lisa X]

I know exactly what you mean. I treat CD and being Lisa as a second life. I love my male life. I would never give up my role as husband, father and friend as my male self. However, I need to express my fem side from time to time and treating that as a second life helps me put that in a nice "box". I have had the opportunity to be Lisa for 3-4 days and every time I was happy to go back to my male life. To me it is all about balance and compromise and I continue to work on finding what is right for me.

Take care,
Lisa

[Tina B.]

I like the me the world knows, but on the other hand, behind closed doors, I love that softer side of life.
Being born had some advantages, I got to leave home and explore the world, much earlier than a girl would have been.
I got to go see a bunch of the world that I wanted to see, via the U.S. Navy, we didn't have women on board ship back in the dark ages
those long days and nights at sea, it would have been nice to have some females on board, they are more fun to talk to than the guys are.
But then I would have had a harder time keeping in pants, instead of skirts with women around. For some reason being around women is a
trigger to dress for me.
I also got to work in the private sector, in a job I loved doing, and there where no women in that trade either. So yeah, I like being a man.
Just to bad it's so hard being a man in a dress, cause I'm not giving up that dress either.

[Sallee]

I think that is a common feeling in our community I know it is for me and I try hard to keep all things in moderation. I do know if I spend a lot of time enfemme it gets old and the thrill goes away. I still enjoy but no thrill so I'll put it away. The down side to that is I have to start all over again when I get back into dressing. I mean building confidence, practicing and feeling comfortable enfemme. I gave up purging years ago.
It is a strange "hobby" we have. Try to enjoy it and have fun We are lucky to be able to enjoy such a simple pleasure.

[Deedee Skyblue]

I would never be Deedee full time, all the time - though it would be cool to go somewhere and be Deedee for a week.

Deedee :likes being a boy too much to give it up!:

[kimdl93]

I don't have two sides, I simply dress myself differently depending on what circumstances permit. If circumstances permitted, I would seldom dress as a male. But that's my preference. To each their own.

[linda allen]

I would be pretty disappointed with myself if I found that I could not control what I do with my body. Many years ago, I quit smoking. I just decided to stop so I didn't buy any and didn't put any in my mouth and light them. No patches, no hypnosis, I decided to stop so I did.

More recently, I had to quit drinking alcohol for medical reasons. The doctors said I needed to join AA. I didn't, I just gave away all the alcohol I had and didn't buy more. That's been four years and I can be around it or use it for cooking without drinking it.

Dressing - I dress when I can and want to, in situations where I can't, I don't.

It's your mind and your body. You should be in control.

[AllieSF]

I am another Allie who likes both sides of me. I am fortunate because I get to take Allie out just about whenever I want to, so there are no frustrations caused by restrictions to be who I am. I do understand the need for self control, and I have had to deal with that all my professional and family life, and that had nothing to do with my very late in life dressing. Now that I am retired I have finally learned to loosen up all that self control to where I now can actually go with the flow, versus trying to control and direct the flow. That, Allie, is very liberating and so much fun. One day you hopefully do the same.

[Princess Grandpa]

You have described my thoughts beautifully.

Hug
Rita

[Andrea Renea]

I to enjoy my male side and would never give it up.

I also like my part-time alter ego.

By having both M/F it gives me many options.

[TeresaCD]

Balance is a tough one, I'm learning that too.
Knowing what is most important (or who) helps I think maintain focus.
The tension in all this between the boy and the girl is challenging, that's for sure.
But the fun in exploring it, well that's another story :)

[Sonya]

I am certainly like you as well, sometimes the pink fog really gets a hold on me but I am always happy to go back to my male side.

[AmyGaleRT]

Allie, I'm just like that. My male self and my Amy-self exist side-by-side, intertwined. I can't let go of either one. I could see Amy taking over for an extended period of time, if I had the opportunity, but I wouldn't abandon my male self entirely. But no matter which aspect of me is dominant at any time, the other one is definitely there, just observing.

- Amy

[Deborah Kaye]

I'm in drab most of time, Deborah appearing from time to time, not so much in the summer. BUT and it's a big BUT--If I could be a complete GG I would be. I see women almost daily and even the simplest appearing woman in the simplest clothing is beautiful to me and I am unable to deny that I would love to be a woman completely. My current life and ties are such that I can not transition even if I want to. The cost would be so very great. The ironic thing is, I would associate with the same people away from work if they did not know I had a male body before they met me. My work might very well be the same, as a GG. So, that said, I live in the world I have been in for over 30 years, but at the same time feel so fulfilled and contented in the clothing makeup and hairstyle of a woman which outwardly conform to the inner personality of womanhood. I lived a long time wondering about myself, till I finally realized that though the body didn't match the inner indentity, I am a woman at heart.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Allie, I'm happy to be a part time lady.

[Beverley Sims]

I can see duality in life, it is necessary to maintain balance.

[suchacutie]

I need both sides, for sure! Luckily going back and forth has, so far, been self regulating. I do think a few days in one gender is about my limit before zI really want the other gender.

[Alice Torn]

HappyAllie, I have said similar things for a long time. I must be careful, to not let the dressing take over my whole life, and get me into more trouble than i imagine. Getting too involved with admirers could do it. Or, getting too careless. Good thread! I need my male hard working bluecollar self more than i do my dressing fantasy world. But, i love to get pretty. Self control is imortant., though. I f i got outed in this town, i would be considered the town pervert.

[MysticLady]

Everyone's journey is different. I was just wondering how many others have the same feelings?

Hi Allie. I'm the same way. I need both in order too function. I have learn to fluid myself between both quite comfortably. Most times I'm more on male essence but my female essence is there also but at a less degree. My female essence lets me know when I need to express her a little more and then I fluid to my feminine essence. I love it.

[NathalieX66]

Time will tell.

I have had the op of meeting many CD'ers, and many TS's who have transitioned (those who did all the works), and found out after all these years that I'm still the same boring me.....the fence-sitter that prefers to dress as female, get pedicures in rediculous colors, yet is attracted to females, and has a strong male side.

I would prefer that the world accepts someone (me) that wears a maxi dress, rhinestone flip-flops, long hair, dangly earrings regardless of what's in the pants.