Worried about this feeling

[Windy]

Hey all,

I've identified as a woman for a while now, but here's the thing. As embarrassing as it is to admit, I still get aroused by wearing women's clothes. I know this is a "sign" of a crossdresser, but inside I feel much more like a woman than a man--in fact the idea of being a man feels physically repelling to me. It's really distressing to me: I doubt myself enough already, and all this seems to do is put fuel on my own internalised angry voices that say that I'm not a "real transwoman".

[suzy1]

Is it because you have lesbian tendencies.
Is it O.K. to say that Windy? It seems logical to me.

I have known some very feminine girls that were lesbian.

[I Am Paula]

My guess is it's a conditioned response from when you were younger. I wouldn't worry about it. Erections happen. Are you on HRT? I ask cause the cyproterone I'm on, Halle Barry would have to be giving me a lap dance for that kind of response.

[Angela Campbell]

Celeste....even that would not do it for me anymore.....Spiro !

[Amy A]

Hi Windy, I don't think you should worry about that very much, you are young which will be a contributing factor but more than anything I think that if you feel a certain way, and you personally identify as trans, then don't let a bunch of rules set by others redefine who you are.

Best thing to do is just take your time and figure out what you want. Don't worry about fitting into any predetermined profile, just be the best YOU you can be. I'm making it sound easy when I know it isn't, my head can be a horrible mess of conflicting emotions and deciding to transition can mean facing up to a fair few demons. But you have to do what is best for you, and not worry about other people's expectations of who you should be.

Amy x

[Wildaboutheels]

Ever been embarrassed for being aroused by any "men's" magazines? Ever seen any "pornish" videos that made you feel embarrassed?

Crossdressing is the SAME THING. Or are you going to claim you have FULL control and can simply raise and lower "him" at your own discretion? Sorry, but Science says we Humans don't operate that way any more than we control our breathing consciously.

These Forums are chock full of folks who feel guilt and shame. An easy guess is that most of it, comes from "him" having a mind of his own. Till "he" gets older of course and decides to be a "good boy". VERY common story here.

Since you CAN'T control "him", don't feel embarrassed, when "he" decides to act up. Literally.

[KellyJameson]

I like your honesty.

I would not call it a sign of a crossdresser as much as a sign that you find women sexually arousing and by extension the clothes specifically designed to make them more sexually arousing.

At it's core it is not the clothes that arouse you but women but your mind has been taught to experience the two as one so each represents the other erotically for you.

Gender identity is separate from sexual identity even though in my mind they can certainly influence each other but your sexual arousal is not indicative of your gender identity.

In my opinion you have nothing to worry about concerning the clothes but transitioning will require flexibility concerning sexual expression.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Join the club.

I had the same feeling.. guess what? some transsexuals get the wonderful joy of being "attracted" to cross gender behavior.....there is nothing you can do about it, and nothing about it changes whether or not you are transsexual.
I can understand (because I have been there) how it can mess with your mind.. I can understand that it may make you feel that your gender is more confusing but I can promise you that if you are a woman, you are a woman..

Here's a secret...I transitioned years ago, I had srs in 2009, and I still get that feeling sometimes.. its not a big deal!!!

[Angela Campbell]

Yes I would think that SRS would pretty much put an end to the bulging problem.

[TeresaL]

Well I AM a lesbian and can get mentally excited at dressing. :-) That is my goal because it spices up life, and I want it to. The process of transitioning should have an element of erotica. At least an aim to please, while diminishing GD.

Spironolactone has eradicated my erections though. lol

[Kaitlyn Michele]

The process of transition should have an element of erotica...???

OMG

[TeresaL]

I'm all talk. Heehee

[groove67]

all I cn say my dear is been on male blockers and female hormones over many years and living full time woman female for over three years. having srs in October and wearing dresses, skirts and being female and feminine just seems normal to me as I have felt female all my life. I have no fear of my surgery coming up and welcome it. I enjoy looking and feeling a woman and really feel totally normal. from my view if you have doubts about this then seek help as it is not easy life doing this even when you know that is whom you are. best wishes to you dear

[StephanieC]

I don't know about that. We all start somewhere and things then progress from there.

Frankly, at this point in my development, there is very little libido. But I'm ok with that...it keeps things from getting embarrassing.

-stephani

[melissaK]

Yea. Happens. Most of us have some fetish like arousal during experimenting with CDing on the way to admitting to ourselves we are TS.

And I recall an Anne Vitale essay noting masturbating while Cding was often used to control the anxiety of gender dysphoria, because sexual orgasms feel so good they give relief from the psychic pain of dysphoria. Hitting O's 6x a day is not unheard of. Anyway, I'm paraphrasing and you ought to read her essays and book. It all kinda makes sense to me.

And post HT, sex and orgasms still occur. You don't need an erection. It's just different and it can take awhile to learn your new sensitive spots. Old visual stimuli usually still work to arouse us too.

[Angela Campbell]

I can only speak for myself, but for me there is no connection at all between transition and anything erotic.

[TeresaL]

LOL. I have no connection with erotic either. Just wishful thinking about having an O. Well, I can't.

What we bring in to both sides of our transition is very unique and individualistic. Our MAB may have had a strong sex drive. An MtF who is sexually aroused when they see their fully clothed female image in the mirror may IMO, uneedlessly feel shame and guilt. Does that negate their TS status? Not in my book.

Women love sex too, and go at it hot and sweaty. Women do get aroused and they/we can be dang erotic. My desires are for that to happen after GRS. I want to satisfy the love of my life more than I have in male role. Impossible dream?

Kaitlyn, I think my lack of pre-op O is a combination of AA's and health at old age. My machinery stopped working last year after I began Spironolactone.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

why not?
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[ameliabee]

Post-op, still get aroused when I check myself out in a really flattering outfit.

Also... just completely forget the notion of 'real trans woman' or 'true transsexual'. Do what you want to do with your life.

[Rachel Smith]

Windy,

I am older and on spiro and the patch. Guess what I still get aroused mentally when I am in a hot dress and heels but not physically. It's more of a mental feel good about myself way and girl it makes me feel as good now as it did when I was younger. There is nothing wrong with feeling aroused or even being so when you feel good about yourself.

Rachel