Unexpected Emotions

[Quiet_Ami]

I was wondering if it's has ever happened to anyone. The SO and I went shopping a bit yesterday, and she pointed out something she thought would look nice for me. Nothing spectacular, just a black, somewhat lacy top. I tried it on with some jeans today. It's probably the first thing I've ever gotten that's not extremely femme, maybe a bit more normal casual wear. I went to look in the mirror, mind you, no makeup, usual short hair, just changed the clothes... and instantly felt a jolt of confidence that I don't know if I've ever felt before. Nothing to do with passing, or anything like that. Somehow I just felt stronger in myself than I may ever have before. It was completely unexpected, honestly. I don't remember clothes ever making me feel like that before, men's or women's.

Thoughts? Can anyone relate? Has this ever happened to anyone before? I wanted to post while I was still feeling so good, before it went away.

[Laura912]

Clothes, music, art...all can have an emotional impact. Hence, the phrase, "Clothes make the man..." Ummm, maybe that should be woman or CDer. Yes, put on a pink V necked tee shirt last week and just enjoyed it.

[Marleena]

I think you experienced euphoria. It's a good thing.:)

[Carmen]

Yes Ami there is a lot to this.
I have not been out En Femme for at least 2 months. After such a long 'hiatus', I find myself becoming irratable, edgy, fussy, on and on...
The only cure for me is to dress for those precious few hours afforded to me.
I dress casual at home,undies, forms, easy makeup, hair tied back, tank-tee, jeans, ballet flats.
I do my house and yard work En Femme. It is only for a few hours, but it serves to remove those feelings...a release.

Yes I feel nice in my femme clothes and all the sensations that go with them.
My demeanor changes, I calm down and my world is once again calm.

[reb.femme]

I've mentioned on a thread before that I had a burst of emotion (happiness?) when I first saw myself in the mirror in a dress that my wife had bought me for Xmas. I thought it suited me and I liked what I saw. Last week, whilst stepping into a blue summer dress and pulling it up over my shoulders, I felt unbridled euphoria wash over me. I had a pic post on here of that little event a little over a week ago, wearing some favourites :o. I loved doing it and hope the feeling never subsides.

I like what and who I am, so I enjoy the moments when they happen. :)

Rebecca

[Emogene]

I have had similar moments and it occurred to me that there is one commonality in our experiences. We like feminine clothing, that's a given. But in our shared experience, our SO is accepting, supporting, unjudgemental and most especially actively selecting a garment or other gift that she thinks would be good for us in terms of color, cut, style, etc.

I think there may be a health dose of love involved in the euphoria/appreciation experienced by ourselves. Thoughts?

[sandra-leigh]

At the beginning at least, "extremely feminine" can be a form of costume, and wearing those "extreme" things, you might have a feeling at some level that the image presented is not really you. But then take the semi-casual black lacy top and put it on, and what you see in the mirror is what you really can be, not an "image to show to the world" but you. You saw it, you saw you could be it relatively easily, casually, day-to-day if circumstances permitted. Your female side showed itself, and is there for the taking any time, not "an act", "a show for the outside world".

So really it is not surprising you felt a rush.

[Madeline80]

I totally understand. I felt a lot more confident and normal when I stopped wearing dresses all the time and got some female versions of the clothes I like...jeans, nice shirt, athletic or casual shoes. I got some nice casual stuff from VS. Also, I'm trying to do more everyday routine activities in girl mode like working around the house, etc. Maybe when I decide to finally go out - to the grocery store or post office, I will be even more comfortable and confident.

[heatherdress]

Glad you felt good, Ami. Enjoy your feelings of confidence, and happiness. You are fortunate that your SO supports you. Good for both of you.

[Beverley Sims]

Maybe the emotions are there because your wife bought it for you.
Show your appreciation but do not get too gushy about it, you do not want to smother her.

[Quiet_Ami]

Thank you all for the input, that gave me a lot more to think about. :) Sandra, I think that was a great point, it is the first time my clothes haven't been an idealized image, it was actually me. I think that definitely had a lot to do with it, and maybe I should rethink how I go shopping in the future. (At the very least, it gives me an excuse to back to the store...lol)

I will definitely be shopping for a nice thank you gift for the SO, too.

Madeline, working around the house while dressed is the most fun way to do it! :) That's usually when I get all my laundry done.

[Allison Quinn]

I've had things like that before.
I have terrible self esteem, but my girlfriend still tells me I'm pretty and feminine looking even when i'm not trying to .3.
I've had a few times where I actually believe her and look in the mirror and feel decent about myself :P the euphoric feeling is wonderful :)
I find that compliments from the one you love are worth 100 times more than from strangers when you feel they are genuine :)

[Quiet_Ami]

That was a big part of the emotion actually. I have terrible self-esteem, no matter the situation. Yesterday I looked in the mirror and found some. That felt good.

[Allison Quinn]

Isn't it great!
Confidence is everything as well ^^
It means a lot :)
I'm happy for you :D

[robindee36]

Ami, I wonder if it was the actual item of clothing or the inner feelings it provoked. Personally, I do not have to be fully dressed to have feminine feelings. It certainly helps but is not requisite. There are so many triggers these days such as the simple act of shopping in the womens' section, wearing short shorts, letting the girl walk for a bit. Perhaps these are feelings of empowerment, the ability to be feminine even whilst in drab. Don't know the answer but I do not shy away from what I feel inside. Its a good feeling, right?

Hugs, Robin

[MaudeB]

Yes, I can relate.

I was about to start a new thread when I saw yours and read it.

I just come back from my old/new therapist that oversaw me with my shrink for some years and we finally discussed CDing and transition to female. I was scared to death but went through it for an hour and it felt pretty good. I mean, REALLY good... We now have a plan and we're on to finally figure out where this crossdressing and emotions and all will lead me.

Out of there I stopped at a drugstore and bought my very first lipstick with the help of a very smart and gentle assistant.

I just tried it and its still on and for the first time in months I saw myself in the mirror with a big and, more important, authentic smile. I'm still smiling as I write.

That's it for me but the angels are watching certainly because that's exactly what I needed to go forward !

Thanks !

Maude

[EllenJo]

And I thought I was the only one that had episodes like this. Seriously I was thinking about how to start a thread like this without getting out of bounds with the moderators. Just last week I was cleaning the kitchen while dinner cooked. I was wearing a simple khaki skirt with a light pink top with w V neckline. My ballet flats matched the pink top and I thought I looked pretty normal for a woman working around the house. While I was kneeling down to wipe off the glass front of the oven I caught my reflection from the neak down and was overwhelmed by a feeling of euphoria that went through me. My image was not sexy or anything, no panties showing just my skirt stretched across my knees and a bit of lace bra peeping from my neckline.. Just a very female reflection in a very female pose doing a normal female activity. That was the feeling that went through me and it was incredible, I felt so feminine. It actually was almost sexual as waves of this feeling welled up inside of me and spread throughout my body. I had to reach out for the oven door handle to steady myself. This has happened before at similar unusual times when I am caught off guard by my own female appearance or feelings. It felt wonderful and very unexpected.

[Jaymees22]

Yes it does happen, today I feel really good after taking a short break (about a week). I'm not overly dressed but feel I look good and sort of hot...Hugs Jaymee

[suchacutie]

These bits of incredible joy and confidence really can't be anticipated in my experience, but are they'll ever wonderful@

[Quiet_Ami]

Robin, Yes, it is a very good feeling. :) I do agree completely, it's not just the clothes, although it helps. I think you said it right, maybe it's feelings of empowerment, which seems to be a common thread in a lot of responses here.

Maude, that's great that you're able to start addressing all these feelings. It always seems to hard to talk to someone new about this, I'm glad you have someone who is listening to you and helping you along. I wish you the best of luck! :)

Ellen, that's such a wonderful story! :) I can imagine that felt really good. Those are amazing moments when they hit, aren't they?

Hugs...Ami

[Jorja]

I am not a CD but a TS woman more than thirty years past transition. Our emotions are part of what makes us human. I can have a burst of joy one moment and tears the next. Most of us have had to hide our emotions for so long we do not know how to act when a burst of joy comes or the need to cry. Learn to enjoy and understand and express your emotions freely. You have been given a gift, enjoy it.;)