finally free to be me. ish

[JamieOH]

Hey everyone. Been gone a while. I gave in to stupidity and supressed my self. Well. I got very depressed. As I stated a while back I told my wife and she was less than accepting. She tolerated it as long as she didnt have to see it really. And she made loads of horrible remarks and comments. So I tried to stop it again. Well it didnt work. Then in march she got very ill. Amd almost died. She was in the hospital for over 2 months. I did a lot of thinking over that time. I knew I couldnt continue to not be me. So after she came home I started dressing again. Hiding it from her. Got even more depressed. Realized that inwas spending all my time away from her. Dressing and beimg so alone. So finally I just threw on my skinny jeans layered a lace cami and a cute tank over a pushup bra. And walked in the living room like nothing was different.
Well. She asked me about it. Amd I told her that I couldnt hide anymore. I was hurting bad. And I knew she wanted me to be there with her. But that I couldnt because she dodnt wamt to see me that way. Well to my surprise she is much more accepting. And my son has been very cool about it.
She wont lete wear dresses or anything like that around the house yet but she is still trying to come to terms with it. But I wear exclusively womens clothes now. And feel awesome. My avatar puc us me btw. Oh and a bonus. I have lost 50 pounds. I now fit in size 13 juniors skinnies and medium/large tops. AWESOME. Oh and weird tidbit. I lost all that weight but my breasts didnt shrink. Im a natural 38 B. Go figure. anyway I even go to the store dressed like that.
I am not passable. I look like a dude with boobs wearong women's clothes. But who cares. Im happy. :) I attached a pic of me. So you can see. I am not a beauty queen. Im just beautiful me.

[MysticLady]

Welcome Back Jaime. I'm sorry to hear about your wife, that's terrible. I hope she's doing much better. Good Job and accepting and having Faith in yourself Kiddo. Good Luck.

[DeeArel]

Welcome back. You have nice bone structure to your face. With the right make up, you would be a doll.

[Jolene Robertson]

Hi Jamie, Welcome Back

Hope your wife comes around both health wise and with your dressing. Sounds like it is a pretty big step for both of you. Hope both situations continue to improve.

Hugs
Jolene

[Beverley Sims]

Welcome back Jamie and I hope your wife improves also.

[Tina B.]

Glad the wife is doing better, and she is more understanding. Sickness is never good, but sometimes it helps us remember what 's really important in life, when she got sick, you where there for her, not she needs to understand, if you can't be who you are, it will make you sick, believe me, depression is an illness. Given time, if you don't go so fast as to scare her, hopefully a long skirt, or Maxie dress will be in your future.
Maybe you can't pass, but a wig and a little make up, I think you might surprise yourself.

[sheilagirl]

Illness is one of the hardest things a family can endure. Many times it brings people together other times, not so much. Happy to hear your wife is making it through but I would have a very hard time feeling comfortable dressing in front of anyone who had such disdain for me. I can understand the drive to want to be dressed but to have the person you're supposed to be closest to, basically, be repulsed by the sight of you, is pretty tough stuff. I've only ever "come out" to my therapist and she has been nothing but supportive. I know I'm lucky. I have never told anyone close to me about "Sheila" for two reasons. Number one, As supportive and comforting my family and friends are, not sure I'd want to put this on them. In many ways it's probably more exceptable to "come out" as being gay than being a Crossdresser. (Not that there's anything wrong with that). Number two. I like having this to myself (and all of you, of course). I love the transition from guy to Sheila mode. It provides me much comfort and eases the aches and pains of life in "Man Mode". Who knows what the future will bring, in the mean time, my goal is to keep life easy for myself and the people I Love. We all find our own way to cope and hopefully thrive. Good Luck Jamie.

[JamieOH]

Thank you everyone. I am quite happy now. I say now because as you said who knows what the future will bring. I may find I need more. May find I want to transition. Might find I need less. Might have my wife freak out and ban it all. Might have her become my shopping partner. Who knows. Bit for now. I am me. And I am free. :)