Which do you desire more?

[JuliaC]

To be with a women or dress like one? I often feel my desire to cd diminish as I am thinking about wanting to be with a girl. Being with a girl and getting a wife and a family is more important to me than crossdressing. Although at the time cding is very impulsive to me....ugh I hate being so confused

[Gretchen_To_Be]

Both simultaneously. I love my wife, and want to be with her whether I am dressed or not, but if I could do both, it would be double the erotic excitement. Unfortunately she has made it clear that me presenting fully as a woman would not stimulate her, so most adventures are limited to shaved legs, thigh highs, heels, and a silk robe. Good enough compromise for me.

[kimdl93]

You seem to think the two are mutually exclusive. These are not. And as a young person you're still coming lung sex and gender. They are different.

At some point in maturation the adolescent association with anything and sex will fade. And perhaps then you'll understand that it's not an either or proposition.

[Mollyanne]

For me the answer is simple-----DRESSING LIKE A WOMAN, BEING A WOMAN!!!!!!

Molly

[natalialimapoa]

Being with a woman and wanting to dress like one are completely different feelings that can work at the sime time. I like to be with my girlfriend and I like do dress girl clothes. Simple.

[reb.femme]

Same as Shibumi for me. I would love fully en femme session with my wife but this is off limits. That said, I'm free to dress whenever, conscious of the fact my wife wants her man now and then.

Rebecca

[Khaleesi81]

Being with a woman and wanting to dress like one are completely different feelings that can work at the sime time. I like to be with my girlfriend and I like do dress girl clothes. Simple.

This. They're separate feelings, though the feelings i have for my gf are stronger and take priority.

[Emmalee]

I may sound like a nut after this statement but..... G-d has been so good to me I believe beyond a doubt that G-d has someone for me, there is a woman out there that fits me like I fit her so I just stopped worrying about it.

[Zylia]

Classic example of a 'false dichotomy' as some have pointed out. Still, combining your 'pastime activities' and a steady relationship may prove to be a challenge. The ones that managed to work it out either got lucky or worked years for it. This is not a game you can play on easy mode and there are no shortcuts. It's important to come to terms with this and be happy with yourself. It's OK to feel a bit confused every now and then, it comes with the territory. I know it's very easy for me to say this, but if having transgendered feelings is the worst thing in your life you can consider yourself lucky.

[Cynthia Anne]

Truth be told; I'd rather be a women's women!!!!!!!!!!!

[noeleena]

Hi,

Well being the woman is far more importaint than any dressing. clothes are nice & lovely yet.... just dont do it for me .

okay im just a bit older so dont need a woman or a man. does not mean i cant be dressed .

Being married & haveing children is really quite neat & then haveing 10 grandkids says something . so when you have kids youll see what really matters clothes are clothes haveing children is family,,,,, i know what it means,

...noeleena...

[Druscilla Supernovae]

I'm the same way. I'd rather be with a woman. My dream is to find a girl who is into the leather, latex, pvc, plastic, and rainwear thing.

[Beverley Sims]

When starting a relationship with another person your CD'ing activities do wane, when the relationship smooths out and the novelty is gone..
Back it comes, usually with a vengeance.

[stephNE]

Yes, they are separate issues. Sometimes I want to be with my wife as a man, and other times I want to be a woman. It's sort of like a pendulum swinging back and forth. But the best of times are when I want to be a woman and be with my wife and we do things together, shopping, museums, etc.

[Jana]

Personally, I'd rather be one than just dress like one. But this isn't possible, so I get by.

As for your confusion, understand that wanting to dress and wanting to get married are not mutually exclusive. It's possible to have both. Some do it deep in the closet, some do it in the open. I think it's better to be honest and open with your wife/gf about this, but it's something you'll have to figure out for yourself.

[JamieTG]

When I was younger and would start dating someone new, my desire to xdress would be almost gone for a month or two due to the excitement of a new relationship. However as the newness of the relationship wears off after a few months the desire to xdress starts coming back. I have found the desire may disappear for short periods of time but once things settle down, the desire always comes back. Always!! The best option is to be honest early in the relationship so you can find out if she can accept xdressing.

[Kate Simmons]

As I've pointed out before Hon, getting to know yourself and what you really want is the most important thing. Everything has to be your own decision.:)

[NicoleScott]

Others have said what I was thinking: not mutually exclusive. Many of us thought that our desire to crossdress would be replaced by desire for our future wives. And so we entered into marriage thinking our CDing was gone. It returns - aways - and sometimes with a vengence. If she isn't compatible with your crossdressing, better to find out sooner than later.

[Lacyfem]

Good luck with that as your desire to dress doesn't go away as I've found our my past many years. Find a lady and a wife who will approve!

[Dianne S]

I have found the desire may disappear for short periods of time but once things settle down, the desire always comes back. Always!!

This. Tell your SO before you get too deeply involved; if she can't accept it, the pain and complications of ending a new relationship are much less than if it happens several years down the road.

[Lacyfem]

For me it's to dress like one definitely... There is such an excitement to being someone who physically I can really be. For me it's not really explainable as to the feelings inside and it's just that they are there.

[Deedee Skyblue]

Both. And I would love to be with a woman while dressed like one!

Deedee :heehee:

[sheilagirl]

I LOVE being with women but the older I get, the less time I seem to want to take
the time to try and transform the particular woman I'm with, into my "Dream Girl".
Sheila takes care of me on many different levels but female companionship, especially,
with a woman that I feel close to is still something different and amazing. I WANT BOTH!

[Jasmyne]

I would think it depends on the individuals particular place in life. I agree with many who have stated its not mutually exclusive, as I'm extremely fortunate for my wife who loves the fact I enjoy crossdressing. For me, it's a way of life where both are completely compatible.

[suchacutie]

I also don't see the need for a choice. We take life one step at a time. Being with or being a woman happens as we can. Doing both is a terrific goal, however.

[Brittany CD]

No doubt here, I would rather be with a woman

[Sabrina133]

Sorry, for me there is no choice - its both

[robindee36]

Being dressed as a woman and with another like me. Not going to put any alphabet designation on it. Just the way I am, and loving it.

[DanielleT]

As a a bi-sexual woman, I love both worlds. I adore the woman that I am. I love fully sharing myself with other women, but I love men too! For right now, I am (kind of) happy with my life as a woman. My biggest desire that I want to be able to go to work fully dressed as the woman I am. While I live freely an openly as a woman after work and on the weekend, I really do want to do away with my polo shirts and slacks and start wearing a pretty dress to work.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Julie, Why can't I have it both ways ??

[Audri]

I'd much rather dress as a woman than be with one.
But I suppose the promise land would be dressing as a woman, while I'm with one.

[docrobbysherry]

That's a silly question, Julia. It's like asking someone to order either the bacon or the eggs.

Personally? I'd order them both. Plus, some hash browns, toast, and hot tea!

Give me the woman, her clothes, and her figure!

[Micky]

Dressing as a woman from waist down and being with my wife

[linda allen]

It's already been said, but you don't have to make a choice. You can be with a woman and dress as a woman. Most women would not want you to dress full time as a woman, but if you read this forum enough, you will understand that many of us have wives or girlfriends who accept our dressing from time to time. Some even embrace it and go out in public with us dressed.

edit: Let me just add that if I had to make a choice (I don't, thankfully), the choice would be to remain with my wife and quit dressing.

[5150 Girl]

Both actually, I consider myself a missassighned lesbian

[Nikki A.]

How you want to dress and who you want to be with are usually exclusive. If you are TS and feel that you should have been and want to be a woman, then I can understand wanting to be with a man.
As for me, I am a CD, I want to be with a woman, but I also enjoy dressing. I just need to find a lady that accepts that this is a part of who I am. They are out there, it's just a little harder to find one.

[Erica Marie]

I think to a point we all are confused otherwise we wouldnt be here reading and asking questions.
As for myself I would rather be a women than just dress like one. Just putting on the clothes doeant make the girl.

[Lady Catherine]

I like to be with a woman while dressed as a woman.

[Trisha65]

I like woman, even transitioning into one. Once I have my srs, I guess I will be a lesbian. Sorry guys, I have no desire to be a male or be with a male in a romantic role.