Coping with remarks whilst out dressed

[Maria S]

If when out a bloke calls out something like "Oy mate show us your knickers" I just completely ignore it based on the theory that a GG out and about would know it's not aimed at them so passing as a woman I show it is not aimed at me by not rising to it.

Maria

[reb.femme]

If he calls out, oi luv, show us your knickers, should I show? :heehee:

I think it's difficult to sometimes suppress the man within, but probably best not to get into a fight whilst in skirt and heels.

Rebecca

[Jana]

I think ignoring this sort of garbage is the best way out. Unless you are a black belt in some martial art and willing to put the heckler in his place. But then again, you risk breaking a nail in the process, so... basically, just ignore... :P

[Courtneigh]

Just ignore it and make asif you did not hear it...

[daarleane]

Rude comments? Who hasn't hear them? You don't have to be cross dressed to hear them, just ignore them and don't let them provoke you. Just like Mom used to say many years ago " don't sink to their level, always be proud of who you are".

[kimdl93]

I'd just ignore if possible, and smile disarmingly if it wasn't possible to totally ignore such remarks

[Beverley Sims]

You are doing right, ignore the comments.
You know you are really doing well when the comments disappear.

[Kate Simmons]

Being myself, I probably would have at least wiggled my butt at that comment. But that's just me.:battingeyelashes::)

[ronny0]

Unless you are a black belt in some martial art and willing to put the heckler in his place.... :P

Also in most places the person that throws the first punch ends up in jail.
PLUS if you have special 'skills' that opens you up to major $$$$ legal problems.

Pass on the incident and hope the idiot finds some one else to set him straight.

[Eryn]

In the short term, ignoring the insult is the best approach. Watch what the GGs do.

In the long term, find a better place or time to be out and about.

[mikiSJ]

The Michael part of me seldom took the opportunity to turn the other cheek when I was young and when I was older, I always had a nasty comeback.

Miki is quite the opposite and would simply walk on by. I like Miki a lot more than Michael!

[SheriM]

Show your knickers????? I'm not sure what I would do. I might raise my skirt!!!

[CynthiaD]

Also in most places the person that throws the first punch ends up in jail.
PLUS if you have special 'skills' that opens you up to major $$$$ legal problems.

Pass on the incident and hope the idiot finds some one else to set him straight.

In Texas if someone provokes you, you have a legal right to kick their you-know-what. Yes, we have some peculiar laws, but I suppose that's one reason why Texans are always so polite. :)

[Gerrijerry]

Over a year ago some time after srs. a man at a mail came over to me and yelled you are no woman and grabed my breast. I screamed because they where real (small but real) and I might add sensitive. I hit the guy with all I had and other people called for the police. Several people held the guy while I sat on the floor crying, it really hurt. The mall police came a few minutes later. They arrested him and I was told later by phone ( believe it was his lawyer) that the guy wanted to pay me to drop the charges. I said no. The man served six months in jail and was let go on probation for three years. If people say things I ignore but touching is against the law.

[Cristy2]

I can handle an insult with in reason, but if they go touching the may find out real quick just how much of a b**** I can be.

[Eryn]

In Texas if someone provokes you, you have a legal right to kick their you-know-what. Yes, we have some peculiar laws, but I suppose that's one reason why Texans are always so polite. :)

I'd consider very carefully before acting upon that "right."

In 1998, the Court of Criminal Appeals of Texas in the case of Smith v. State, stated:

“The law clearly requires that the defendant do or say something to cause the attack on him.” The second element of provocation the state must prove at trial is that “the defendant’s acts or words were reasonably calculated to provoke the attack.”

I don't think "Oy mate show us your knickers" quite meets the criteria for justifying a physical attack.

[Princess Grandpa]

Over a year ago some time after srs. a man at a mail came over to me and yelled you are no woman and grabed my breast. I screamed because they where real (small but real) and I might add sensitive. I hit the guy with all I had and other people called for the police. Several people held the guy while I sat on the floor crying, it really hurt. The mall police came a few minutes later. They arrested him and I was told later by phone ( believe it was his lawyer) that the guy wanted to pay me to drop the charges. I said no. The man served six months in jail and was let go on probation for three years. If people say things I ignore but touching is against the law.

Good for you! Sorry that happened to you.

I have only been in public a couple of times. One person spoke to us each time. The first time as we are walking down Fremont st in Las Vegas we hear "hey look! Matching fags!" We have kind of adopted this as our motto. Every time we dress alike one of us will repeat it before the night is over. /chuckle. The other time as we walked to Mary's from the hotel across the street, a group of young people saw us and screamed. The young lady ran up to us hugged us, chatted with us on the way to the club and then stayed and partied at tgirl Saturday. Oh wait, one other girl spoke to us at Fremont St. She saw me and hollered "stay pink!" She then saw Julie and ran over and gave her a hug. Sort of makes me wonder why I'm so freaked out about being outside

Hug
Rita

[Eryn]

In Texas if someone provokes you, you have a legal right to kick their you-know-what.

Oh, and the law itself reads:

Texas Penal Code - Section 9.31. Self-Defense

§ 9.31. SELF-DEFENSE. (a) Except as provided in Subsection (b), a person is justified in using force against another when and to the degree he reasonably believes the force is immediately necessary to protect himself against the other's use or attempted use of unlawful force.
(b) The use of force against another is not justified:
(1) in response to verbal provocation alone;
[etc., emphasis mine]

So, violence in response to verbal provocation is not acceptable, even in Texas.

[Tracii G]

I can ignore wise cracks and insults and keep on walking acting as if I wasn't directed towards me.
Lay your hands on me or grab my purse and its Katie barr the door.

[Jodie_Lynn]

If he calls out, oi luv, show us your knickers, should I show? :heehee:

I think it's difficult to sometimes suppress the man within, but probably best not to get into a fight whilst in skirt and heels.

Rebecca

LOL You know how much damage you can do with heels?

But in truth, best to ignore the louts and keep moving.

[giuseppina]

...They arrested him and I was told later by phone ( believe it was his lawyer) that the guy wanted to pay me to drop the charges. I said no. The man served six months in jail and was let go on probation for three years. If people say things I ignore but touching is against the law.

I would have passed that one on to the police. Seems to me that might fall into the category of bribery.

[Leona]

PLUS if you have special 'skills' that opens you up to major $$$$ legal problems.


This one isn't actually true. It's not considered assault with a deadly weapon just because you have a black belt in something. Source: My Hapkido instructor. :)

[Jodie_Lynn]

I would have passed that one on to the police. Seems to me that might fall into the category of bribery.

Most places that would fall under "out of court settlement". The guys lawyer probably knew his client would be convicted and was trying to bury the case.

[Leona]

Oh, and the law itself reads:

Texas Penal Code - Section 9.31. Self-Defense

§ 9.31. SELF-DEFENSE. (a) Except as provided in Subsection (b), a person is justified in using force against another when and to the degree he reasonably believes the force is immediately necessary to protect himself against the other's use or attempted use of unlawful force.
(b) The use of force against another is not justified:
(1) in response to verbal provocation alone;
[etc., emphasis mine]

So, violence in response to verbal provocation is not acceptable, even in Texas.

There's still a grey area. If someone speaks in a way that you are reasonably certain he/she intends to do physical harm to you, you can still claim the right to self-defense. There was also a case where a guy shot someone that was breaking into a house across the street and was acquitted of charges because the jury believed he had every reason to believe a crime was being committed (it wasn't, the guy breaking into the house lived there and had locked his keys in the house or car or something).

[Jilmac]

Sometimes a sarcastic but witty comment can be a great defense. A comeback such as; "I'm not wearing knickers, are you?" can be effective in warding off boorish comments from blokes in public.

[GBJoker]

The ONE time I have been dressed where people could see me, and it was sort of on accident that I ended up in that situation, I got remarks about being the "F" word, and queer, and etc. I went over and asked them, as loudly as I could, why they are so interested in sucking the ... of a crossdresser. I walked confidentially out of line of sight, then bolted to a safe place to undress and threw on my guy clothes.

Jana: I recognize VERY fully that the only reason I got away with this was because I've done three years of wrestling and three years of judo. And I had a friend with me who had done over a decade of judo. So... Yeah...

[Jenny CD]

This one isn't actually true. It's not considered assault with a deadly weapon just because you have a black belt in something. Source: My Hapkido instructor. :)

It's an urban myth that started with Bruce Lee. I'm a 2nd Dan, studied Jui-jitsu and MMA... and thankfully I've only had to use my "special skills" only twice. Unfortunately for the men who tried to 'test' me, were hurt. One sent to the hospital. It was an awful experience that I never want to repeat.

[donnatracey]

In Texas if someone provokes you, you have a legal right to kick their you-know-what. Yes, we have some peculiar laws, but I suppose that's one reason why Texans are always so polite. :)

Really?..........:brolleyes::eek:

[Eryn]

There's still a grey area. If someone speaks in a way that you are reasonably certain he/she intends to do physical harm to you, you can still claim the right to self-defense. There was also a case where a guy shot someone that was breaking into a house across the street and was acquitted of charges because the jury believed he had every reason to believe a crime was being committed (it wasn't, the guy breaking into the house lived there and had locked his keys in the house or car or something).

What does this have to do with self-defense or verbal provocation? The person in your example was breaking into a house, not talking to the shooter.

Earlier in this thread it was asserted that Texas law allowed violent response to verbal provocation. Actual Texas law, quoted above, prohibits this. There is no gray area that allows the use of deadly force against someone who says "Oy mate show us your knickers" to anyone.

(Actually, in Texas, this wouldn't be provocative at all, because on this side of the Atlantic "knickers" are loose-fitting short pants gathered at the knee, commonly worn by golfers, and we'd be laughing at the guy talking like Popeye the Sailor!)

[Micky]

I wouldn't pass but I do wear hosiery under my slack or jeans. Funny, I have been out and about as such and I have come across a couple of crossdressers while shopping. Just wish I would have had the courage to at least say hello

[Karren H]

I'll let you know how I handled it.... if and when it ever happens.....

[5150 Girl]

I'm half deaf anyway, so it's easy for me to fake not hearing things I didn't want to hear anyway.

[Tracii G]

I'm not afraid to use my skills in a physical confrontation no matter how I present.

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

I have never been insulted to the point where I would want to take action so I really don't know how I would handle it. I do have a propensity to be pretty vocal so I might say something under the right circumstances. Once I was laughed at by four teenage girls and I did let them know they were off base. If I had ever been groped as was mentioned here before, I would (edited by forum rules) detain the moron until police arrived. Only four people get to feel up this girl, "me, myself and I" and my wife.

[jenni_xx]

To which you should respond "only if you show me yours first".

Most people will not notice. Most people will not care. Most people care more about there own lives, their own friends, their own night out. The ones who don't will be the ones who seek enjoyment from attempting to belittle others. Because it's through such attempts that they find value and importance (and acceptance) in their own lives.

Or to put it another way, those are the kind of people we really should be feeling sorry for. Because their life is so sad that the only enjoyment they can have is by attempting to bring other people down to their level. That level being unhappiness, unacceptance.

You're right to completely ignore such people. They are simply not worthy of your time.

[rachael.davis]

I was out shopping a while ago, some horrendous troll came out with "This is the ladies section, not the faggots section what are you doing here?"
I was floored for a second, and politely asked why she was there if it was a section for Ladies.

[donnatracey]

Excellent response/repartee, rachael!......:thumbsup:

[rachael.davis]

Excellent response/repartee, rachael!......:thumbsup:

Thanks, I was floored by her anger (and appaled by her outfit - spandex is a privledge, not a right)