Can you be Transsexual before SRS

[bobbimo]

So how can one be Trans-Sexual if one retains that little piece if manhood between their legs?
I would think that if one was truly of the mind that they were supposed to be a woman then all the FFS, BA, and HRT is just a change to make one more presentable to the outside world.
So is one truly Trans-Sexual if they do not complete SRS?
Bobbi



Moderator's Note: This thread has been taken from Ask a transsexual, but rules for replies in that thread will still be applied.

[Angela Campbell]

Of course you can be. Transsexual is something you are...not something you do. Then again I would think most will eventually get SRS, that is not the defining factor. I have been diagnosed as such by several different Dr.s and I have not had srs....yet.

[Rianna Humble]

So Bobbi, are you trying to tell me that although I have been transsexual for 57 years, because my health currently prevents me from getting Gender Confirmation Surgery you will somehow change my life history because you will not allow me to be transsexual?

If you are able to do that, can you also change history so that I was born with the right body, please?

[bobbimo]

So Bobbi, are you trying to tell me that although I have been transsexual for 57 years, because my health currently prevents me from getting Gender Confirmation Surgery you will somehow change my life history because you will not allow me to be transsexual?

If you are able to do that, can you also change history so that I was born with the right body, please?
Thanks Rianna,
I wish I had the magic time machine.
From where I am on the CD, TG, TS, I see the transexuals and the people that have truly been born into the wrong body. For what ever ethereal reason the mind heart and soul of a little girl winds up in the body of a little boy. Thanks in part to the internet, this phenomena is now more understood and not just 'a phase' that he will grow out of, and the error can be fixed.
Also I see a lot of girls out here that go through the expense and pain of surgery and hormones, force the legal system to change their gender, with no intent to go all the way.
I just dont understand it all.
Michelle, I'm not trying to derail the thread. The title is ask a TS, so I'm trying to understand.
Bobbi

[Kimberly Kael]

Also I see a lot of girls out here that go through the expense and pain of surgery and hormones, force the legal system to change their gender, with no intent to go all the way. I just dont understand it all.

It's worth understanding a few aspects that might help make it clearer why some would take offense at your original question, myself included. Firstly, gender confirmation surgery is expensive and not without risk. There are plenty of people who simply aren't candidates for financial or medical reasons, and that doesn't make their gender dysphoria any less real. It requires a non-trivial amount of time away from work, which isn't always practical. It's not magic, either, meaning that great results are far from guaranteed. Nerve damage is a very real possibility, resulting in loss of sensation or constant pain. The techniques available for FTM transition are significantly less effective and even more expensive.

It's entirely possible for many to embrace their gender identity and live a satisfying life without surgery. So why shouldn't they?

Even your comment about "forcing" the legal system to change their gender comes across as insensitive. We're asking the legal system to acknowledge our actual gender, nothing more. Nobody would talk about "forcing" the government to make a change when the sex of a baby is recorded incorrectly for any other reason, so why is this different? All of this is part of why I prefer the identity transgender to transsexual. It puts the emphasis where it belongs, on the public aspect of who we are. Calling ourselves transsexual is practically an invitation to speculate inappropriately about our bodies.

[gonegirl]

So how can one be Trans-Sexual if one retains that little piece if manhood between their legs?
Bobbi

Bobbi - As other TS here have pointed out, being transexual is not dependent on making any changes to one's body. With regard to a TS woman; If you are female and unlucky enough to be born with your body changed to male then you are transsexual. I hope that clears up your confusion.

Sincerely,
Simone

[Rianna Humble]

Bobbi, I think that you need to reflect very carefully about how you word your comments.

You have already alienated a good many people by telling us that we are not allowed to have a medical condition that has afflicted us all our lives.

You now compound that by making a distinction between
the transexuals and the people that have truly been born into the wrong body.

Then you add insult to injury by stating that we "force the legal system to change their gender".

This section is open for all to post in and I would not dream of trying to say that you should not have the same right as anyone else to post your questions, but I would sincerely urge you to consider why you come to the Transsexual Forum and word your comments in a way that inevitably gives offence to those of us who are Transsexual.

[Angela Campbell]

The thing to remember is that being TS is in the mind, not between your legs. It is not an action or the result of an action. It is something you are and born with. Many go through so many things to try to find comfort and HRT and SRS are but a few that have the most impact. You are transsexual if the body does not match the mind. What you do or do not do because of it makes no difference as to whether you were born this way.

[Gerrijerry]

Sometimes a transexual for many reasons can't have surgery. They would like to but simply can't. That does not change the fact that they still are transsexual. You need to lean more about what you are talking about.

[Angela Campbell]

A carpenter is still a carpenter even when he is just sitting around drinking a beer.

[arbon]

Thanks Rianna,
I see the transexuals and the people that have truly been born into the wrong body.

I am really curious what you think the difference between the two is?

[tanyalynn51]

Transsexual is what I am and was. I may never have surgery because of health problems, but that doesn't change who I am.

[Barbara Ella]

I think you will find out eventually Bobbi, and to expand what Ellen said, when you do it will be like. "I see said the blind carpenter as he picked up his hammer and saw."

I am transexual, that is within me, my burden/joy. How far one goes to ease the dissonance is personal, and not indicative of their nature.

Barbara

[Amy A]

I remember seeing a video blog by a trans woman who hadn't had SRS and had no desire to do so. She explained that she didn't want to put herself through the ordeal of surgery and that she personally didn't need it in order to live happily as a woman. She was young, and competely convincing (stunning in fact), and no one in their right minds would describe her as anything other than a woman. What's between anyones legs is frankly their business alone and no one should have to justify their choices with regards to their own body.

I fully intend to have SRS, I feel that I need it to be complete, but I certainly wouldn't judge anyone for choosing not to or dare to tell them they don't qualify. Your post does show a remarkable ignorance, and I'm hoping it was simply badly worded.

[KellyJameson]

Does nature create identity?

My opinion is that sexual and gender identity are innate for some where we are born with our predestined sexuality and gender intact like a seed that will grow what the seed is designed to grow.

What I have noticed is that both sexuality and gender can also be created by environment such as a woman who may have been raped by men as a child so her relationship to men by this act of violence pushes her toward woman for sexual partners because she carries a profound distrust of men and there are similar dynamics for men where they sexually move toward men because of how their sexuality has been affected and shaped by their childhood.

Identity and trauma trumps sexuality.

I believe everyone on the LGBT spectrum could be born as such or could be created by the circumstances of their childhood and this is why the subject is so contentious.

I have been heavily involved with the LGBT community all my life and have noticed a distinct difference between men who were born homosexual and those who seem to be created out the circumstances of their childhood so you could say there are two distinct etiologies of homosexuality and I have noticed this same pattern with lesbians and transsexuals.

I could never understand why I would meet transsexuals and they absolutely did not feel to me as women but instead homosexual men who have physically transitioned but I still very much experienced them as homosexual men but with a different physical presentation much like homosexual men doing a different version of drag.

My own personal opinion is that there are two types of transsexuals. Those who are born into it and know themselves as woman so form a female identity instead of a male identity so are born to transsexuality and those who were created by life experience.

This is what is so confusing for the transsexual who was born as a transsexual so always has identified as a woman even when she was forced to dissociate her identity so submerged her true self below her awareness with this self always struggling to emerge and those who do not hold a female identity but transition so adopt one through transitioning.

Transsexuals are two separate groups. Those who were born as transsexuals so their gender identity is innate and predetermined and those who are created by the culture including the family dynamic.

Each struggles but the reasons are opposite. The one who is born is from herself not being allowed to be expressed so she lives repressed and the other is a movement away from masculinity as failure so moves toward the feminine not from innate identity as the expression of the brain but as a consequence of the culture so transitioning is a maladaptive reaction to this failure so the culture forced the female identity onto the individual instead of the individual searching for her identity as the true expression of the self.

[LeaP]

There are variations in defining transsexuality, but all of them share a couple of attributes: identifying with the opposite gender (associated with birth-sex assignment, that is) and a desire, which may vary in intensity, to change their body to match. I can live with that definitional breadth.

By the same token, a birth-assigned male who who identifies female but has no need or drive to become congruent is in no way transsexual. The conventional use of the term would also exclude a transitioned MtF who does not identify as a woman - presumably they transitioned for other reasons, such as fetish or choice.

People can say whatever they want, but there doesn't seem much point unless they actually do something. That could be hormones, social transition, surgeries ... whatever.

I feel for those who are prevented doing anything at all, but that seems rare.

[I Am Paula]

"Also I see a lot of girls out here that go through the expense and pain of surgery and hormones, force the legal system to change their gender, with no intent to go all the way."
Gender is a state of mind. Sex can be changed.

[Rachel Smith]

Wonderfully said Kimberly. I am 57 just started hormones about 3 months ago and just too darn old to go through the surgery not to mention being just $10,000 or more short in the financial end.

Rachel

[IamSara]

At 54 I feel the same way as Kimberly. Not enough money and too damn old. Not that I don't want to do it. Just a matter of defining for myself what is most important in making this transition into the body I should have been born into. It is no one's business but there own as to whether they have SRS or keep that "thing between their legs". It certainly shouldn't be the determining factor in saying whether one is Transsexual or not.
So many other ladies have said much more and much better so I will leave it at that and go calm down.

[Rianna Humble]

Hi Kelly, we are not going to get into the whole nature versus nurture shebang but I cannot agree with your extremely broad-brush observations.

I disagree with your premise that some people turn to transition out of a sense of failure in the role of their natal sex and I have seen sufficient abuse victims to know that in every case I have encountered their experience did not alter their sexuality although I will agree with you that someone who was already bi might shy away from relations with men after being abused by one.

Anyway, this is not the topic of the thread so let's put this detour to bed before it threatens to derail the thread.

[gonegirl]

"Also I see a lot of girls out here that go through the expense and pain of surgery and hormones, force the legal system to change their gender, with no intent to go all the way."
Gender is a state of mind. Sex can be changed.

I'm not disagreeing with you at all Celeste, however, I would say that it is more than that.

Gender is a state of our soul.

Sincerely,
Simone

[bas1985]

People can say whatever they want, but there doesn't seem much point unless they actually do something. That could be hormones, social transition, surgeries ... whatever.



Hi LeaP,

could we say that doing something implies doing something in public?

I say this because during my adolescence I Cd a lot, but always privately at home. I felt a woman,
I stayed well in woman's clothes, but had not the courage to go outside.

So in that moment I was not TS (and now?). Also going out with only woman's underwear does not matter.

It is the act of socially (publicy, a small thing, even a pink shirt, unisex shoes) starting a transition, that define a TS, is it?

[Kimberly Kael]

... could we say that doing something implies doing something in public?

I say this because during my adolescence I Cd a lot, but always privately at home. I felt a woman, I stayed well in woman's clothes, but had not the courage to go outside.

Everyone is going to have their own pet definition, I'm sure. No one definition is ever going to be perfect because it's important to let people self-identify, which makes for a world full of exceptions.

If I was going to generalize? I'd say that transsexuals are usually those who feel most comfortable living in the gender opposite their assigned sex, and take irreversible steps to achieve that goal. That still leaves a lot of room for interpretation, but it generally assumes that you make a one-way public transition at some point in your life.

So despite the fact that I only crossed that line a few years back, I would still say that I was always a transsexual. Back then there was no easy way to confirm it, which is part of why this is such a tricky thing. I could observe that I was a likely or probable TS, but confirmation came with a "real life test." I sometimes lament that there should be a test drive program for people who are unsure. In practice my own confirmation started with living as a woman for a week on vacation, and seeing how that went, but it's still a far cry from coming out to everyone and trying to integrate yourself back into a job, relationships, etc. That's the real test.

[dreamer_2.0]

I disagree with your premise that some people turn to transition out of a sense of failure in the role of their natal sex...

I don't know, there have been times when I've wondered if perhaps I want to transition so much because I'm doing an awful job at being a man. There's more to it, of course, but it's possible that's part of it.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

IT's not a job to "be" a man..


You are what you are.. if you think you are a failure as a man, and you think the answer is to "become" a woman instead, you are barking up the proverbial wrong tree

[LeaP]

...could we say that doing something implies doing something in public?

Maybe, but that wasn't really my point. Rather, that someone who does nothing or has no drive to correct the congruence issue (once clearly known) doesn't address the condition.

Some replies confuse the (very real) drive to express gender identity with the need to align the body. Related, but ultimately different issues as well as indicative of different conditions if one has the first and not the second.

[stefan37]

I must be an abomination. I excelled and thrived working and living as a male. I have had tremendous success in my field which is heavily male centric and dominated. Doesn't matter how I felt I was or should have been. I mitigated in any way I could. Well i could fight myself no longer and the inner urge to be something different overcame any fears I had. I am transitioning in place and doing so in a male centric dominated industry. I could care less what I am called. At this point in my transition sometimes I don't know the lines get blurred. I am not getting into the discussion why someone identifies as transsexual but takes no steps towards that end to change. I do not understand it and if someone wants to live as a male, work as a male and do nothing to change physically change their body or gender expression and self identifies as transsexual.

[groove67]

I am not sure what anyone is trying to say here. If you are transgender you are no matter what is between the legs. I have felt that i was born in the wrong body ever since i can recall. I have lived dressed and enjoyed being a woman for over three years and have srs surgery in less than three months. I am healthy enough to have surgery and desire to be complete woman. If you can not afford the surgery or health prevents it that is one thing. However if you dress as a woman and desire not to have surgery then i guess i question are you trans or a cd. In my case i hated being a man, and every part of it. I enjoy my life now and feel totally normal being whom i am. I know things are said about me by people whom have known me as a man lol and now a woman. For those whom do not know i get treated like a lady and love it. So the choice is yours but if you have those inner feelings you are probably transexual.

[bas1985]

If you are transgender you are no matter what is between the legs.
(...)
However if you dress as a woman and desire not to have surgery then i guess i question are you trans or a cd.


Hi,

it seems to me that these two sentences convey different meanings. Maybe it is my interpretation,
but if the first sentence is true, then a person can be TS even if she does not want to remove the male attributes,
just because it does not "matter".

Probably it is more difficult to sustain the TS status... in Italy for example you cannot have sex changed on papers unless you
go through SRS...

[Kimberly Kael]

I must be an abomination. I excelled and thrived working and living as a male.

Being successful and independent is hardly a mark against you. Everyone struggles with adversity of one kind or another, your burden just less common than most. I was very much in the same situation, and it means we're both in the enviable position of having more options than many.


I am healthy enough to have surgery and desire to be complete woman. If you can not afford the surgery or health prevents it that is one thing. However if you dress as a woman and desire not to have surgery then i guess i question are you trans or a cd.

Everyone will draw the line somewhere different, and denying their identity is more than a little divisive. Someone who chooses not to pursue genital surgery is no less a woman than you are for not intending to get a womb. There are still limits to our techniques, and trade offs that won't always make sense for everyone. Perpetuating the idea that some laundry list of procedures are required doesn't do anything for the health of our community. Individuals should make up their own minds for their own reasons.

[emma5410]

Originally Posted by groove67
if you are transgender you are no matter what is between the legs.
(...)
However if you dress as a woman and desire not to have surgery then i guess i question are you trans or a cd.

Hi,

it seems to me that these two sentences convey different meanings. Maybe it is my interpretation,
but if the first sentence is true, then a person can be TS even if she does not want to remove the male attributes,
just because it does not "matter".

Probably it is more difficult to sustain the TS status... in Italy for example you cannot have sex changed on papers unless you
go through SRS...

I think a distinction is being made between transgender and transsexual. CDs are transgender but most probably have no desire to take hormones etc.
I think it is a difficult subject. Personally having male genitalia is just WRONG and needs to be fixed as soon as possible. I cannot understand how you can be TS and not want SRS but that is just how I view the world. I do not want to impose it on others and it is not my business how they see or define themselves.

[melissaK]

I am transexual, that is within me, my burden/joy. How far one goes to ease the dissonance is personal, and not indicative of their nature.
Barbara


I am really curious what you think the difference between the two is?

I could have selected more. But Bobbi, FWIW I agree with Barbara. And I like Arbon's Socratic follow up to you. You should answer her question as best you can.

I think a useful tool to help you "get it" is Kate Bornsteins, "My Gender Workbook" (2013). The book will take you through all the aspects of gender, of sexual orientation, of cultural roles, and help you develop as sense of what you might be and where you fit in.

And in the interests of full disclosure. I'm 58, married, have long identified as TS but stayed closeted for a lifetime. I started HT in 2006, but took no other steps toward a transition. In January 2013 I came out and started down a transition path. I soon found my idea of what transition meaned to me changed. I've settled into a Gender Outlaw role, and my wife (an amazing woman) has forged a new relationship with me, and I with her. I still very much self-identify as TS.

Best fishes,

[Nicole Erin]

Hasn't this been beat to death enough as it is?

[melissakozak]

Being TS is a state of existence, transition or not. Period.

[Leanne2]

Hopefully, everyone who has SRS is a transexual beforehand. If not, that would be a cruel Nazi medical experiment. Leanne

[Angela Campbell]

IT's not a job to "be" a man..





Maybe not but it was a lot of hard work trying......and pretty unpleasant.....kind of like my place of employment.

[Alex R]

On a related theme I pose the question:

Can you be transsexual without transitioning?

[stefan37]

Can you be transsexual without transitioning? That argument has been beaten to death. I do not understand why someone would breathe, live, work, interact as a male and take no steps to physically change their bodies would consider themselves to be transsexual. Did I miss the memo? Is there some secret prize I am unaware of?. I do no not know. People will self identify as they will. For myself label me what you will. I am a transitioner. I am actively transitioning from male to female. I am taking powerful chemicals to help me effect those changes needed. I understand from many that true transition does not truly begin until after SRS. In that case, I am in a preliminary transition and will be for sometime.

I use this subset of the forum for support and to seek answers to the various scenarios that come along with actively transitioning. I would like to think that my experience would be helpful to those also actively transitioning or questioning whether transition is right for them. I tend to gloss over post written by those that may identify as ts but live all or part of their life as male. They have not left the security of living in a male world. Their experience will be different from my reality and experience will be except in certain circumstance of no value to me. Do not misunderstand what I am saying. They may still suffer from gender incongruence and their suffering and life experience as they are living are just as valid as any bodies struggle on this rock. It is still different and does not truly reflect the struggles those of us that are transitioning experience.

So to answer you question. Can someone that is not transitioning be transsexual? That is for them to decide, but I do not understand why they would say they are.

[Angela Campbell]

If you have no desire to transition I doubt you would be transsexual. There is often a period in a transsexuals life where there is a lot of doubt and denial, but there is always the struggle inside to "be" a woman. If that is not inside then the possibility of some other TG condition exists. For instance if someone has the desire to be a woman but little urge to actually do anything about it may be a transsexual who has not reached the point of the struggle that it becomes obvious. (possibly in denial or fear) or it may be more in the realm of being bi gendered or TG. It is like someone walking down the street may have cancer and does not know it or they may not have it at all, sometimes it needs to progress to a point where it is diagnosable. Just because they do not know they have cancer does not mean they do not.

It seems like some do not recognize it until some event occurs in their life and others know it from early childhood. There is less doubt on the ones who knew from birth. It is difficult to tell if someone is a transsexual and that is why it is a good idea to sort it out with a good therapist. They will usually know before you do.

[Rianna Humble]

It is very possible to be transsexual without transitioning since this is a condition that you are born with.

In many countries, people who have not reached the legal age of majority are not allowed to receive the treatments that will allow them to fully transition, that does not mean that they are not TS on the day before their birthday but suddenly become so on their birthday.

Then you have some late transitioners who did not see what was coming and hadn't recognised the symptoms - some of them post here.

Then you have people like me who knew something was wrong but partly through a lack of information could not put a name to it. How often do we read "I thought I was the only freak"? We can continue fighting it for decades before transition becomes an absolute necessity, but despite that we were always transsexual.

[LaurenB]

I'm confused. I thought that post-SRS, post-Transition, when you are actually living the life as a woman then you cannot be a TS. You would, by definition, be a woman. To me being a TS is the having the knowledge that one's gender is not what one's body is physically and the intent to make changes toward correcting that. The destination is female, the road is TS.

A counter argument to what I just said is that since medical technology is currently unable to make any genetic male fully female (as in child bearing with genetic ovaries and a functioning reproductive system), then all stages of transition from the very first inkling or desire to evolve from male to female regardless of how slight to the fullest extent of today's surgical abilities put's us all squarely on board the good ship TS.

[LeaP]

Sometimes I think the older adjectives are the best. Pre-op, Post-op, and Non-op. All are qualifiers against a reference of congruence. I think it's meaningless to apply "transsexual" to anyone prior to their own awareness. Other descriptors would be more accurate. Nascent female identity, perhaps. Latent transsexual if you must have the term.

I'm liking the term transitioner more and more, too. It cuts through a lot of ambiguity and a lot of BS too, frankly.

[stefan37]

Exactly Lea. It signifies we have identified our identity and are taking active steps to correct it. No ambiguity once we accept we are transitioning.
Let's thank Misty for coining the term.

[Alex R]

On a related theme I pose the question:

Can you be transsexual without transitioning?

Both the DSM and ICD mention 'desire' rather than 'doing', but some of the responses imply that the 'doing the transitioning' is the litmus test. I suppose that's what I'm not clear about.

[LeaP]

Unfortunately, "desire" badly understates things. Lots of crossdressers express a desire ("I'd transition in a heartbeat!") - but they are not transsexual. It's better expressed as need and drive. In short, intensity. This was a key element in Harry Benjamin's work and the concept is reflected (poorly) in the DSM and ICD as if it were a simple wish. It is not. In fact, getting to that point can be pure, unrelenting madness and pain.

[Kimberly Kael]

Unfortunately, "desire" badly understates things.

Too true. There's "I want a pony" and then there's understanding what's actually involved and being willing to make sacrifices to have it happen. It took me a long time to come to the conclusion that I really understood what was involved in my journey. Ultimately, the reality of living full-time as a woman suits me much better than my assigned gender ever did.

Still, that experience does raise some interesting questions. It suits me better because the upside was more important than the downside for me, and presumably that's true of every other successful transition in history. So if the social barriers to living openly as a woman were high enough, or if access to medical treatment was blocked for me, would that mean I wouldn't be transsexual? Even if there is an objective definition, the proportion of society who are able to transition successfully is definitely changing over time. Which is one of many reasons why it makes to let people self-identify.

[Contessa]

I have decided that noone needs to know what is inside my panties. As far as I am concerned I have had the surgery. I will tell everyone that I am a trans woman. Well because I am. I a cutie anyway. Remember no one needs to do a panty check every time they see you.


Tess

[bas1985]

Just as a reference, the most famous Encyclopedia in Italy (The Treccani) says at the term transsexual

Transsexuality is the condition of a person whose sex is not anatomically certain or, even if anatomically certain, he/she considers belonging to the other sex, to which he/she aspires to obtain the anatomical and behavioral characteristics. The transsexual subject is thus who is born and registered with a sex and then he/she has obtained in various ways, with hormonal treatments and surgical procedures the physical characteristics of the other sex, to which he/she thinks to belong.

(bold is mine)

....

So also for the Treccani the accent is on the doing part, not only the desire.

But I agree that the spectra of the possible "doings" is infinite. I would consider
the limit for trans sexuality the degree of reversibility of the change.

A CD can shave... reversible

A TS starts laser and Electrolysis (irreversible)

A CD can grow hair (reversible)

A TS makes holes in the ears (irreversible), or takes hormones (somewhat irreversible)

rethinking...

I correct myself, maybe the division is not on the reversibility of the change but on
its visibility.

I mean... we can have this paradox... that putting nail polish defines more a TS
than SRS, because it is more visible. It is a paradox, of course

[Rianna Humble]

I'm afraid that your encyclopedia's opening phrase is confusing transsexuality with the Intersex condition.

There is an increasing body of evidence that transsexualty is a biological condition causing a mismatch between the structure of the brain, the endocrine system and the reproductive organs. This mismatch occurs before birth and so cannot be traced to what we do or fail to do.

[AnneB1nderful]

I still consider myself a newbie in this community, so my insight is extremely limited. Who's to judge. I mean no one really knows how another person feels on the inside. Heck, most of us don't even know. I never considered myself a transsexual during the previous 47 years of my life. Does that mean I wasn't a transsexual woman? Certainly not. I didn't wake up one day and say, "Hey! You know what? I want to be a woman." But I will tell you that the thought of wanting to be be a woman has been with me since I can remember and never left. The thing is, I thought those were evil thoughts and need to be purged from my mind. But, no matter what I did, or how much I prayed, that thought never, NEVER, left for even a second. I suppressed it...covered it...masked it...hid it...did whatever it took to keep that thought from coming out. So, I, like so many others here, lived my life as a man and made the best of it. Until the day I decided to stop fighting myself. That's when I started learning about who I really am. Now I know that I've been a woman all my life, its just that I was in a constant state of denial.

So, what's the point of telling my little history (herstory)? What if some transsexual women are just in some kind of denial? If they don't know who they are, how can anyone else slap a label on them. Let's not worry about whether or not someone is a transsexual or not just because they choose not to or for some reason cannot have bottom surgery. Let's help them figure it out by sharing our stories and feelings and let them figure things out.

I know that really, really, really want a vagina. But, if I can't get the financial resources, or health becomes a concern, or even if I later decide that I don't really need to remove that unwanted appendage, will I have to convince myself that I'm not a transsexual woman? Let's hope not, cuz I don't think I have another 40+ years left of this earth to go thru that struggle again.