going through things(ranting)

[tiffanynjcd24]

I gave it careful thought about crossdressing like want to give it up for good and never want to do it again. The reason I said it due to my financial and living situation I feel like it wasnt fun anymore. I am just going through rough times. Also I thought i would be like that for rest of my life but I realize that I am not. I probably would miss it but at the same time I feel that I have to give it up and never thinking about it again. It true that crossdressing is a part of me but at the same time I feel like that is not who I am anymore. Also I havent done it in a long time and its frustrating at times when i am not doing it

I still am a crossdresser and I am not giving that up its just right now I need to get myself situated like finding my own place so I can have privacy and dress as much as I can. Also i want to get my finances in check. But more importantly I want to meet other crossdressers around my area(like cd orgs and clubs) as to learn more about this lifestyle. And most likely I would like to go to southern comfort conference to meet other transgenders and supporting spouses. The reason I cant do these things because I live with family and they dont know that I like to dress up (I know I prob mentioned this before)

[Princess29]

I lived with my parents till I was in my 30's and I was often frustrated with opportunities to dress and trying to go anywhere took a level of planning that military strategists would be jealous of.
When the opportunity to move out arrived, I took it and have been living by myself for nearly 5 years now and can dress whenever I like but I usually dont

[tiffanynjcd24]

well i am leaving from my grandma on oct - now i am trying to save at least 4000 dollars to get a apartment is that good or bad

[mikiSJ]

You'll make it. Everyone with a purpose usually does. I am guessing New Jersey rents are about the same as the San Jose area, maybe a little bit less. You'll need first and last plus a security deposit. You'll also need money for moving, new furniture, insurance. You'll have better luck if you have a decent job, been there awhile and your credit is OK. Good luck!

You could have my situation with a wife and two adult children (35 & 46) at home.

[Gretchen_To_Be]

Alexis (I think that's your girl name): You are so young. You will establish yourself eventually and be able to do what you want, when you want. In my case, I was constrained by being on active duty with the Army...not conducive to CD...then with relationships with GGs over the years, and finally marriage. Suppressed the urges all those years, but they never went away. Wish I were 23-24 again, when I could fit into cute clothes and look decent--who knows how my life would have turned out had I pursued those feelings back then? Be patient, but not too patient, or you will wake up in 20 years and have limited options. I think you have to weigh what's more important, but be aware that if you shelve CD too long, you may be missing a window you will never have again. I don't mean to be superficial about it...if you have strong TG tendencies that's a different story...but if you seek a feminine illusion thru CD it's so much easier when you are young and slim like you are.

[tiffanynjcd24]

well i work as a it consultant and i make 1900 every month and i just want to get like a studio/1 bedroom. everybody was telling me i should stay at my grandma but i dont want to stay there, i dont have privacy and i cant go any places like crossdressers organizations or scc because my family would suspect i am a crossdresser. i want to know how much should i spent on furnturine


Alexis (I think that's your girl name): You are so young. You will establish yourself eventually and be able to do what you want, when you want. In my case, I was constrained by being on active duty with the Army...not conducive to CD...then with relationships with GGs over the years, and finally marriage. Suppressed the urges all those years, but they never went away. Wish I were 23-24 again, when I could fit into cute clothes and look decent--who knows how my life would have turned out had I pursued those feelings back then? Be patient, but not too patient, or you will wake up in 20 years and have limited options. I think you have to weigh what's more important, but be aware that if you shelve CD too long, you may be missing a window you will never have again. I don't mean to be superficial about it...if you have strong TG tendencies that's a different story...but if you seek a feminine illusion thru CD it's so much easier when you are young and slim like you are.

i understand where you coming from hun i am single i have a good job making 1900 a month and thing is when i do get my own place i can dress up anytime i want. i know that my crossdressing is not going away and i am really embracing. its just people dont understand that i am different from anybody else

[Gretchen_To_Be]

My friend, when you eventually get your own place you will have many powerful first time experiences, CD or not. The first patch you call your own, you will always remember, whether you CD or not.

In my first solo place, a girlfriend with whom I had split up left a Victoria's Secret "goody bag" with black stockings + garter + black silk robe...I think out of spite (I had purchased them for her for a romantic weekend)...and despite those items being several sizes too small I forced my way onto them, many, many times. Then, out of shame and fear, I purged those items. This is early 90's, pre-internet, and I was too scared and insecure to shop in person for things that would fit me. Even though I had "freedom", I imposed upon myself stupid limitations. I regret that.

The web has been a godsend for CDs. I know my sizes by now. When I want a dress, a pair of heels, hose, whatever, I order it, ship it to my UPS store box, it arrives in a plain brown box, and I am in heaven.

Good luck!

[tiffanynjcd24]

well hopefully girl i will get it by october/november

[stefan37]

What geographical area of Jersey. We have a group that meets in Highland Park, central Nj the third week if the month. You do not have to come dressed or if you prefer there are facilities to dress once you are there. There are many clubs in pa and no that have tg themed events.

[Beverley Sims]

Your first step is to find your own digs.
Independence is what it is all about.

[tiffanynjcd24]

But it be better if I get my own place stefan I dont want ppl to kno my business

[stefan37]

Just putting it out there for you. You said you wanted to meet others like you. And those you want to meet will know your business as you put it. I hid it for way to many years than I should have except my wife. I wish I would have had the courage when I was younger to go out and meet others. I am in a much different situation now and I have no choice. It is open public knowledge what I am doing and I am out to all in my life. Go at your own pace and get comfortable. But do make the effort to meet others.

I have met many new people I would never have met otherwise. I have become very close to a few. These new friends have enriched my life in ways I could never have imagined.

[tiffanynjcd24]

Yes I do so I can I have a deep understanding of who I am as a crossdresser and yes I would tell those about my business. Is it true crossdressing is in you and you cant get rid of it

[sometimes_miss]

In much of New Jersey, 1900 a month isn't going to go far. A one bedroom will cost close to $1000 in most areas. But there are still bargains out there, start looking now. Look into towns that aren't known for good schools, that will cut your rent by about 10 to 20 percent. If you're active in church, let everyone know that you're looking for something reasonably priced; some two family houses rent out the second, smaller apartment for below market prices, and sometimes they offer free heat and hot water, so all you have to pay for is electricity. keep looking around the neighborhoods that you like for 'for rent' signs. Remember also if you have a car, the difference in price for insurance costs can vary up to 100% from one town to the one next to it, so you save just by moving across the street.

[tiffanynjcd24]

The places I looked at are east orange Montclair Bloomfield clifton paterson and the rent I looking for is between 600-900 dollars

[stefan37]

Yes I do so I can I have a deep understanding of who I am as a crossdresser and yes I would tell those about my business. Is it true crossdressing is in you and you cant get rid of it

From my experience yes, If you have a need to cross dress it will be with you your entire life. There may be periods where it can be mitigated or ignored, but at some point it will come roaring back with a vengeance. In my case I suffered from gender dysphoria and I could not contain it any longer. It was necessary for me to transition to continue to live. My advice is to live your life as openly as you feel comfortable. It will allow you to find your balance and function daily without the major swings in dress or not to dress. 4 years ago I fell off a roof and had a colon resection 6 months later. I had a hard close up look at my mortality in a long time. I decided screw what people think and started wearing colored nail polish and eye makeup daily. I got both ears pierced and aside from some comments from my family and friends, for most it was a non issue. I functioned in society fine and after a bit my customers never noticed or said anything. It became commonplace. Your advantage is you aare young and the internet has raised awareness. Live your life as authentically as you can. Find your balance and own it. Be proud of you and what you accomplish in life and forget about what others think.

[tiffanynjcd24]

I wouldnt worry about a thing hun I am ready to leave that behind
.

[Emmalee]

I feel you I left my life in " ", because the people I interacted with for some reason enjoyed adding extra stress to my life, weather they were aware of it i don't know.
So now I moved back to one of my home towns my family was getting evicted, so me and my brother now split a room we rent, and my mom lives with her boyfriend at a clients house. Me I work usually work over sixty hours a week but all my money goes To supporting three other people, So in the end I'm left with a lot less than I can have......on top of all that I can't really dress up because my brother is a punk. So I feel you

[tiffanynjcd24]

Family issues I totally understand where you coming from I have almost similar issues with mines

[Emmalee]

well what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. You can choose your friends but you can't choose your family, so if your family makes it hard for you, go ahead and love them from a distance

[tiffanynjcd24]

I understand hun where you coming from

Now I got to wait until I deal with situations in order to get my own place

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi CD23, You are so young now , But eventually thing will fall into place for you.

[tiffanynjcd24]

I know hun I know I want to move before end of the year. Its just I got to deal with a traffic ticket and other issue.