Do you fit in after SRS?

[AmandaM]

I see a lot of not fitting in stories. But it makes me wonder. Do you fit in after SRS?

[DeeDee1974]

I can say since starting my transition things seem to be falling into place. Mainly just getting my career in order and not feeling depressed/anxious. SRS is atleast a couple years off.

[noeleena]

Hi,

I did not fit in before so what difference would it make now = 7 years after, as lovely as my surgerys were, that has not made the difference of fitting in .

im accepted as i should have been, one, being different to start with ,two being female born different - not trans, & three being able to grow in to a woman in a normal way, my body was not an issue never has been ,how i look yes part of my difference yet not the biggest concern , had my birth documents said what they should have it would have been very different yet haveing said that it would have made my life more of a hell hole than it was,

& the abuse could have been far worse, so i spos i had the better of the worse part.

Do i fit in now yes because iv grown into a woman im accepted as one im a part of our community member of many groups so from that point on oh ...yes .... i fit in puting it another way im a member of women only groups so that means i must have ,

Do i pass the test of am i female born female with a difference it was never about i wont to be female or a woman i never wonted to be male ether, so does that make myself a bit strange, depends on wether you know me or wont to know me, when you do youll soon see what im talking about just because i dont fall with in the normal male or female range its a bit strange for those who dont or never will understand us,

We did not have any say in how we were born, im happy with in myself more so for most of my life . & because i fit in im content to be part of my world of female / women. SRS for myself is not the same as for trans people, its quite different & for other reasons ,
and its a matter iv been looking at for a while now, just not able to put it in words so one can understand .

...noeleena...

[Trisha65]

I can honestly say that I started to "fit in" as soon as I realized that I should have been born a girl. What was it? I don't know. Changing from underwear to panties and a different hair style was the biggest change at that time, but something just clicked and I knew it was what I would be doing. Will SRS change anything? For me I would have to say not really, but it will complete my journey to womanhood.

[Michelle.M]

That's a very interesting question! But, fit in in what sense? I fit in in mainstream society in ways that I could never have imagined. Oddly, post-op I no longer fit in as well as before with my trans therapy group and I decided to leave.

[Nigella]

It does depend on what you mean by "fit in". A TS who is going to have SRS at some point will have begun RLE, it is at this point that you "fit in". You live the life you know you should have lived. There should be little, if any, change to your everyday life post SRS.

[groove67]

I amhaving surgery in october and i can not relly say. I really have fit in well as i have many female friends and enjoy my time with them doing girl things, also most not all the men at work have accepted me however most ogf my former buddies have distance themselves. I guess i expect post srs that not much will change.

[Stephanie-L]

Do I fit in? I have never fit in, and it has not only been because of my gender dysphoria. That is a huge part, so since I have started my RLE, I feel more comfortable with people, but will I ever "fit in"? I doubt it. Right now, even though everybody at work has been great, and very accepting, I still don't fit in. Since my FFS, I feel I look reasonably feminine, but I am tall for a woman, and my voice still needs a lot of work, so I do get a lot of second looks. Another issue is that, even after 4 months, people still have trouble using the proper pronoun. Most are actively trying, but they have known me much longer as a male, and it is taking a while to get the old me out of their heads. I may have to not only leave this job, but move to a different city, to be totally rid of my old self. And finally, because I am neither fish nor fowl, nor good red meat (as the saying goes), I do not have a place in the locker room with either the men or the women. They have given me my own changing area, which is actually nicer than the locker rooms, but I do feel a little excluded from the rest of the gang. My boss has said this will change once I have my surgery, but I still suspect there will be at least a little bit left in the back of some minds. Again, a new job/city may be needed here. I don't want to leave this job as the folks are very nice, and it is one of the better places in my field to work, but I will give it a year post-op, and re-evaluate it. But' do I, or will I ever "fit in"? No, I don't think that will ever happen.......................Stephanie

[Kathryn Martin]

If you mean by fitting in living a normal life, spending time with family and friends, working at your job, going shopping with your friends, going on dates, getting kissed and kissing back etc. and being loved, the answer is yes.

[Michelle.M]

. . . I still don't fit in. Since my FFS, I feel I look reasonably feminine, but I am tall for a woman

Let me ask this, Stephanie (and anyone else who might be sensitive about their stature) -

Are you "woman-who-used-to-be-a-man" tall or glamour model tall?

What's the difference? It has nothing to do with inches.

[Jorja]

Yes, I fit in to my jeans quite nicely now.:)

While all the pills and surgeries help us to change our bodies, none of that makes you a woman. What is going on between your ears does. Reaching our goals is 98% mental and 2% the rest of the stuff.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

fitting in means so many different things...

the short answer is srs is procedure about "completeness" other people use the word congruence which works too..

this is an inside feeling, not an outside feeling.. in my mind, to feel like you fit in is also an inside feeling..

in my case, to feel like I was right inside my head I needed to do the surgery..

I did ffs first and that helped ALOT but it didn't close the deal..

looked at another way..
if you can feel complete and whole without srs surgery than why on earth would you bother with it?

[Michelle.M]

the short answer is srs is procedure about "completeness" other people use the word congruence which works too..

***

looked at another way..
if you can feel complete and whole without srs surgery than why on earth would you bother with it?

Exactly! Surgery changed nothing for me in terms of who I am and how I feel about myself.

[AmandaM]

Just to clarify. I see stories where people say they feel awkward around guys, they feel "different", they do guy things and feel out of place, they don't have anything in common with guys. That sort of not fitting in. So, I was wondering. Once you as a TS become a woman, do you feel you "fit in" with women? (and vice versa)

[Stephanie-L]

Let me ask this, Stephanie (and anyone else who might be sensitive about their stature) -

Are you "woman-who-used-to-be-a-man" tall or glamour model tall?

What's the difference? It has nothing to do with inches.

For the most part, it is more glamour model tall, though my shoulders are a bit broad for that, LOL. I occasionally get asked how tall I am (6'2"), and get comments about how the rest of the women in my family must be tall, or was I interested in playing for the WNBA. I take these in stride and don't tell them the real reason I am above average height for a woman. My point with that is that even if I "pass" (I dislike that term), I still draw some attention simply because of my height. I don't let it bother me, I don't even let it stop me from wearing heels................Stephanie

[Michelle.M]

I'm glad you said that.

Here's what I was getting at. The difference between model tall and trans woman tall is - NOTHING! Not the height, not the broad shoulders, not the reluctance to wear heels, nada. The difference is that tall GGs simply OWN their height and press on with life. From time to time I hear some celebrity or model tell of how she was picked on in school and never felt like she fit in, until one day she decided that enough was enough and from that point on her life changed, and all because she began to see her height as an asset and not a liability. That's what I mean by "model tall".

And of course, the interviewer and studio audience are incredulous that this fabulous (and tall) person ever saw her physical presence as a drawback.

This ties in with other issues we deal with. It's not our [lack of] physical beauty, it's not our [lack of] female genitals or breasts, it's not our [lack of] a "normal" female stature that hurts us and holds us back in our transition. It's how we feel about those things and how we live in such a way that they don't matter that counts.

http://www.imdb.com/list/4Su1yZ6vgNc/