Becoming an accomplished crosdresser

[Debutante]

What does it take to become a competent, even accomplished, crossdresser?
We all have different levels of crossdressing abilities. We want to improve. What skills, clothes, makeup and other necessities (practicing mannerisms, etc) have you done, or think is part of "the craft of crossdressing", and bring you to a place that makes you feel accomplished?

[Princess Grandpa]

For me it takes my wife. /chuckle If it werent for her I would probably be happy looking like Corporal Klinger. She takes the time to make me *tries to keep a straight face* pretty. She giggles at me "what would you do without me" and I answer "Stay home where nobody can see me" /cackle

I do need to learn to do my own make up. and she is trying to help me with my mannerisms.

Hug
Rita

[AllieSF]

I look at being "accomplished" in two different ways. One is to be accomplished (competent) in one's physical appearance that includes makeup skills, wig selection, clothes and accessories and then mannerisms like sitting, walking, gesturing and then talking. I am fairly accomplished in those areas, but I am still a man in female's clothing. That will never change.

The other way to look at it is how one interacts with others while out (Yes, one must go out to reach this accomplishment). In other words, going out to safe zones like gay and obvious LGBT friendly venues, and also keeping a low profile is an accomplishment just to get out of the door, but in my opinion does not make one accomplished at going out into that real world. I feel I am very accomplished in this aspect or way, since I have no fear when going out, go to all types of mainstream venues and activities and do not hesitate to engage others in open, honest and very direct conversations about them and then eventually about me. People tend to immediately trust me and open up some of their more personal thoughts and feelings, as I do the same.

Am I totally accomplished in both aspects? No, I still need to improve my outward presentation and my female voice, and I still have a lot of male thought processes and ways of reacting to certain things that could be changed. I still want to improve my presentation skills, but I am very happy with my social skills interaction skills, though I do occasionally put my foot in my mouth (sometimes even both feet all the way in), so, some improvement is needed there too.

[Trisha65]

Practice and some one with a non biased opinion to guide you along with a willingness on your part to accept criticism. Being told that something does not look good needs to be taken with a willingness to try something different. There is a lot of learning on everything from dressing, makeup, hairstyle, voice, movements and even mannerisms. it wont be learnt over night, but it can be done.

[StaceyJane]

Practice, practice, practice...
Really you have to start with the expectation that your first effort won't be your best. It takes time to build confidence and to learn plus as I said practice.

[Kate Simmons]

Put simply the wigs, makeup, clothes, jewelery. etc. can only do so much. The rest of it is up to us and actually doing it and gaining experience whether out in the world in general or just at home.You also need some kind of goal for yourself. You need a certain "moxie" and "schmaltz" to pull it off even if it's only for your own benefit and it's kind of a mindset. For example, a mountain climber may have all of the mountain climbing equipment needed to successfully climb a mountain but unless he actually does it and gains experience the equipment doesn't do much for him. It's the same for us. We have all if the willingness and good intentions but unless we really go out there(or just stay home) and be ourselves, we won't get very far.:)

[Beverley Sims]

It is practice and lots of experimentation.
These days with the digital camera you can get an over view very quickly.
You do get used to your own butt ugly appearance and when the pink fog clears you progress to the next step.
One day out there a lovely swan appears and the duck is gone.
Then you know you have made it.

[Leona]

I think I'm going to take Allie's second way of looking at it as a primary measure. How confident and competent do you express yourself, no matter how ridiculous you might look? Are you still yourself, or do you go out and present a female facade?

I definitely don't present a female facade. My wife and I talked about how my behavior/mannerisms used to change when I dressed and how they don't know, and I've been actively working on integrating everything into a cohesive whole.

I've been quite confident when out, but I still intentionally choose times and areas where there won't be a lot of interaction with other people. So in that way, not very accomplished on the whole, but accomplished well what I have done so far.

[Karen_K]

The clothes, makeup, etc., are necessities, but they are not sufficient. You need confidence to go with them. The confidence to get out of your car at your destination and walk down a busy street in daylight as if there was nothing unusual about you. I'm not quite there yet, but I've made strides.

[NathalieX66]

You can come on this site and find tricks on ways to hide the 5 'O clock stubble, or go on youtube and look at drag queen makeup tutorials, or join a CD/TG support group.

My advice is simply this: meet others like yourself. Go to a transgender conference like Keystone Conference in Pa., or Fantasia Fair in Cape Cod, Massachusetts.

It doesn't matter if it's boring casual female clothes, dressed to the nines in tight skirts and stiletto heels, or sissy maid dresses, there really are no rules. Just find yourself, and experiment along the way. Be yourself as you see yourself.

Me, I'm just a guy who happens to be a girl sometimes. .....don't know why, just is.

[suchacutie]

It seems that I've been using the word effective instead of accomplished, and for me, too, it is my wife who gives Tina the feedback about just how effective she is. Both of us have input to the topics on which Tina does focus. I'll try to make a representative list.

Makeup
Hair
Deportment
Mannerisms
Voice
Use of language
Being able to chit-chat
.Not trying to solve everything
Learning the language of women's clothes.
Learning effective clothes styling
learning what women eat and drink
Tucking
Cleavage
Skincare
Smiling
Personal space gender differences

That's all I can think of atm.

[Tina B.]

40 years of practice with make up, hair, and putting together outfits.
Being able to look in the mirror and being happy with what I see, is where the confidence comes from.

[Joanne108]

I don't know about being accomplished! All I ever try to do is look better than I did the last time I dressed! If I see something I think i can fix I try. Who knows someday I might get good at this stuff!!

[daviolin]

My main goal to an accomplished look is, Picking the right clothes style for the male body. Certain clothes look awful on me while other styles look good. Also the right hair style is a factor too. My make-up is probably my worse. Thats were the wife comes in handy. If shes willing that is. Its just an on going transformation. You learn something new every day. I never get bored with crossdressing. Thats why I do it most every day. Daviolin

[NicoleScott]

Getting that accomplished feeling is "simply" getting to the goal(s) we set for ourselves. And there are a lot of goals other than passing, blending or looking authentically female. As an over-the-top dresser I don't pass very well, but that's not my goal. I want to look like, as far as it is possible for this male body and face, certain women who like to dress and make up over-the-top, and there are plenty of them that don't belong in the asterisk group some here are so fond of using (*****).
Many CDers don't wear wigs or makeup, just liking to dress, and can feel accomplished if they like their look from the neck down. Nothing wrong with that.
To get to the point I that feel accomplished, I have observed (women, other CDers, advertisements, movies and TV, etc.), acquired the right stuff to wear, and practiced. I like to look at pics of other like-minded CDers, and I like to share my pics, both of which help me get to my goal(s). I can live with knowiing that some people don't like what I do, but I also know that some people do like what I do. Either way, it doesn't change my goal(s), and I'm the only one who determines if I am an accomplished crossdresser. Yes, I am.

[susan54]

The best thing I ever did was have a colour and style consultation as Susan. This includes make up advice. Never looked back - women say they love my clothes and how I put them together - that is how the investment pays off. Then there is movement. Study elegant women and try out their stuff at home to get it right .... then go out. Frequently.

[Jenny CD]

I don't know if I'm accomplished. But, I feel confident going out. Just the other day I decided to walk to a bus stop and take a ride to the thrift store. I met a nice young man at the stop and we talked for a little bit. He didn't once ask if I was a guy in a skirt nor was he rude. On the bus, the people there pretty much ignored me, that was fine. At the store, when I bought my new denim skirt the check-out lady was very kind. I haven't perfected my look by any means. But, I feel comfortable enough to go out. I'd love to get the "smokey eyes" look down though. I also wear blue contacts, most of my hair is mine. I just wear a clip on pony-tail. I think it looks cute.

[robindee36]

Do we need to be graded on a competency scale? Some of us have greater skill and experience, but all of us enjoy this pursuit.

Perhaps an alternative rating could be the Fun Scale. No Fun - Some Fun - Fun- Lots O Fun - Way Too Much Fun - Not Publishable Here Fun.

After all, I don't care how expert, passable or believable you are, if you are not having fun dressing, what the heck are you doing?

Is it an art or craft? I get some of my supplies at an arts and crafts shop, so maybe it is both ;)

Is it the destination you aspire to or the journey you relish?

Hugs, Robin

[ReineD]

What does it take to become a competent, even accomplished, crossdresser?

In my opinion it is realizing that it is a part of you, in other words ceasing to refer to the femme persona in the third person. When this happens, CDers don't experience diverging personality traits depending on how they're dressed. There aren't any faked or "put-on" mannerisms which tend to scream "I am a CD" to anyone present. The rest (makeup, clothing choice, going out, etc) is just a question of practice.

[Emma England]

ceasing to refer to the femme persona in the third person.

Reine, this part of your post, I do not understand at all?

[Debutante]

Thank you all you replied to this threat.
I hope to become "an accomplished crossdresser". I am not there yet!
Yes -- "practice, practice, practice" -- trial and error -- feedback...
and self-acceptance.

love,
deborah