If I was a GG....

[AnneB1nderful]

I've always wondered what I would be like if I was born a genetic girl (GG), how would my life had turned out? Here's what I can only speculate...

If all were the same and I was born a woman and had similar experiences, I believe my outcome would not be much different. You see, I'm still very much attracted to women. Have no desire to be with a man. However, early in life, I think I would've tried to love a man, like many other lesbians, because they thought it was their duty. I probably would've had children, because even now, I wish I had that experience. I probably would've worked hard at keeping my marriage strong and raise my children right, because I have a strong morale compass. But, I think ultimately, I would be in a similar place in my life. I would be going thru a divorce, because I was attracted to women. Some of my family would have trouble relating with me because they wouldn't understand. And I would be going thru a journey of rediscovery and renewal.

So, I conclude that there would not be much difference, except the obvious, I'm in a man's body and have to make some physical changes....

Of course this is all just fun speculation. But, I'm curious what others had similar thoughts. Would your life be extremely different, or find similarities?

[Angela Campbell]

I am certain my life would have been quite different. You see I was effected by not fitting in to either the boys or the girls from a fairly young age.My grades and behavior became a problem about the time I was 11, never got any better before I dropped out at the age of 16 and fell into drugs and anything I could find to fill my mind with something I was missing.
Then the overcompensating came and I began to look for jobs that I probably would not have taken. I did go back to school and graduated college in my 20's but kind of became a loner after that and I was completely isolated from the world by the time I was 30.

Had I been able to live without this I may have been able to complete high school with good grades and gone to Dental School as I always wanted. I was just too messed up at the time I would have had the opportunity to do anything.

And yeah I would have had the same kids....they just would look a little different I guess.

[LeaP]

It's an interesting question. Much of my life was characterized by a combination of repression and passive-aggressive conforming. The latter has been made up of both compartmentalized behavior (and attitudes) as well as blindness. I'm as stubborn, willful, anti-authoritarian, and (unfortunately) self-destructive as you will ever meet. So conformity has taken the form, variously, of not participating, when that was an option, taking it in the gut rather than doing it someone else's way, doing the minimum one could force upon me, etc. But I've also willingly conformed to some things I thought right and proper ... even when they didn't feel like they fit me.

Were I FAB, the basic identity repression would not have been there. I'm not sure about the conformity. I can't be sure how much of my willfulness was borne of repression and how much is intrinsic. Who knows, without the constant irritant of the repressed identity, I might have been far more compliant and conforming, to my detriment in other ways.

[groove67]

well I am very much Into men and never was as a man but I am after hrt I am totally into them. I love being a woman and treated like one. I pass very well and pass cause I feel feminine and love being feminine . I love my life as a woman and will have surgery in October so I am complete. I doubt that I will feel more womanly then than I do already. so I guess being into men I say just natural when you are whom we are.

[Trisha65]

Having parents that realized that I was not a real boy and having them raise me gender neutral until I could make some decisions helped me tremendously. Having sisters that enjoyed showing me girlhood and womanhood is something that I can not say thanks enough for as it really made the journey for me so far so much easier. Would my life have been different? I do not really think that it would have been that much different.

[kimdl93]

Didn't George Harrison write a song entitled "Long Time Ago When We Was FAB"?

[Inna]

one common characteristic amongst all of humanity, seems to lie in pursuit of happiness and strive for freedom. Such is the theme of our struggle. Male2female or F2M, we want congruity within our self. If we were born in the right body, we would still struggle with the image we need to portray within strict societal hierarchy. We are all not so different after all, in fact, Transfolks have it much easier as to finding the source of their angst, where for most, the so called NORMAL ones, their lives shall be lived in fog of misconceptions and false conformity.

[Angela Campbell]

I can say that living with this has made me stronger than I would have been otherwise. And much more sneaky.

[MysticLady]

Hi All

I believe I would be just like my wife. And, watch out during PMS, I would redefine....B*T*H.:eek:

[Trisha65]

There are positives in transitioning to a female like no PMS

[bas1985]

Great question!

I think that actually having a male body to start has saved me.

If I were born female I would have had many more problems related
to my parents (a distant father, an overly caring mother) and probably
I would have become a neurotic and over dependent woman.

Instead with a male body (not 100% male because of gynecomastia, ample
hips, etc... but with male genitals) I have had the opportunity to emancipate
from my family better, create a profession and now I can live the life
as a woman as I always desired.

There is no "free lunch" either. Now I have other problems, a difficult divorce,
kids which need to know my transition... but for a TS the only option to have
kids (apart from adopting or marrying a man that has already kids from a preceding
marriage) is to have them as a father, because after the transition we are sterile.

I have come to the conclusion that, perhaps, it is not so wrong to be born
with a wrong body at start, it poses different challenges, but it is not so a disgrace.

It is the social impact, the trans phobia, that makes it a harder travel than it actually could be.

[paulaprimo]

if i was born a woman, i probably would have earned 20% less in my life,
but i would be at a lower risk for a heart attack and would have less grey hair :)

[Beth-Lock]

if I was born a woman, ........I would ... have less grey hair :)

But you would have more hair longer.

[kittypw GG]

If you were born a girl, especially in the early sixties, the following may have happened to you. The school guidance counselor would not have wasted time on talking to you about what you want to be when you grow up because your job would be to get married and have children. You would have been expected to sit in the back seat of the car so that the men could sit up front. Similarly you would be expect to cook the dinner then clean it up while all the men retire to have a drink, converse and smoke. You would have been excluded from many activities and yes you would make less pay. I went to a hearing to advocate an increase in the AFDC grant for women with dependents and the facilitator of the meeting started off with "What is wrong with you women, why don't you just get your husbands back" I was also told by an advocate from the child support enforcement office that I didn't need the money and should just drop it because I was in a position where I made more money than him. Never mind that he was a master carpenter and was probably working for under the table cash. Oh boy could I go on. You seem to think that life is all hunky dory if you have curves, breasts and a vagina. Well honey I'm telling you it sort of sucked. Still does. Many discriminations still exist against women, they are just sneakier about it. Men take advantage of women all the time. And if you get fat and old forget about it. No man will pay attention to you unless he has serious problems. And if you think lesbian relationships are any better? Look at how many are getting divorced now that they can get married. Life is never greener on the other side.

[stefan37]

My experience is life is always greener on the other side until you arrive there, Then it is as brown and shriveled as where you left.

[Sheila11]

I wrote a lengthy response to this question before I realized it was in the transsexual forum. Sorry for the struggle you all have dealt with.

[arbon]

@kittypw - You sound like my mom who tells me everything bad thing about being female in the hope I'll come to my senses.

I wont speculate on some dream of what could have been. It does not matter. Better to focus on being the woman I am today.

[linda allen]

kitty

You wrote pretty much what I would have written except for the child support part. Now I was born in the 40s so opportunities for women were even less when I was growing up. I would have had little choice but to become a secretary, find a husband, have children and stay at home raising them. I might have found a great husband, but I might have found an alcoholic and abusive husband. Years ago it was very difficult for a woman to leave a marriage and make it on her own.

Bottom line of course is, we are what we are and there's little point in wishing we were something else.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Kitty your points are well taken

I repeat
the fantasy woman is your enemy

I think its pretty natural to wonder, but the truth is you have literally no idea what your life would have been like

yes I am a party pooper...

[DebbieL]

I've always wondered what I would be like if I was born a genetic girl (GG), how would my life had turned out? Here's what I can only speculate...

I've often wondered the same thing. It's probably a common thought that goes on in the mind of transsexuals.


If all were the same and I was born a woman and had similar experiences, I believe my outcome would not be much different. You see, I'm still very much attracted to women. Have no desire to be with a man. However, early in life, I think I would've tried to love a man, like many other lesbians, because they thought it was their duty.

I am sure that I would perceive of boys differently. For one thing, boys would be told not to hit girls, and when they did, they would be punished immediately by parents, teachers, and school officials. Men and boys would also treat me differently. Even now, I enjoy the experience of having men hold doors for me, getting compliments from men, being touched gently, and being spoken to softly.

As a boy, I experienced lots of extreme violence, much requiring hospitalizations for injuries and asthma attacks. Certain key phrases and statements still trigger feelings of fear, even terror. I have learned to control those feelings, but the thought of making love to an alpha male is a bit like the thought of getting a hug from an angry grizzly bear.

Assuming I had the same parents, I probably would have asthma, and would have struggled with weight. I would have grown up in sunny Colorado, and would probably have spent much more time with girls my own age, including lots of time outside. Conversely, since I would not have experienced violence, I would have dealt with dramas involving betrayal and emotional breaks, unkind remarks, alliances, and not being a member of the "right clique".

Since my father struggled financially, I would probably have had trouble getting as many clothes as I wanted, and mom would have bought clothes too big for me so that I could grow into them over the year.

I would probably have looked for a man who had graduated from college, perhaps going to college myself. I might have majored in English or communications, perhaps with a business minor. Since I had more friends growing up, I would have spent less time reading non-fiction books and more time reading romances and dramas.


I probably would've had children, because even now, I wish I had that experience. I probably would've worked hard at keeping my marriage strong and raise my children right, because I have a strong morale compass. But, I think ultimately, I would be in a similar place in my life.

Based on how my sister is, and my more progressive parents, I probably would have been very sexual. I would have enjoyed sexual intimacy, and would have experimented with boys and girls. On the other hand, I might have been less inclined to want to dress up sexy all the time, saving the hot outfits for those special occasions. I would have enjoyed going to church, and would probably have done a lot of flirting with the other boys at church. Some of the girls who had been molested would have played with me sexually as a girl instead of as a boy, and we probably would have had sleep-overs that involved some petting.

On the other hand, since I could get pregnant, I would have needed to be much more careful about what I did, making sure that I didn't lose control of the situation. Also, my mother would have told me about being raped, so I would be more cautious. If I did get raped by an Alpha male, and perhaps anyway, I would have looked for men I could control, who would do what I wanted them to do, and would let me please them the way I wanted to be pleased. I would probably still have read variations and letters, and might have looked for boys and men who let me be in charge of it.


I would be going thru a divorce, because I was attracted to women. Some of my family would have trouble relating with me because they wouldn't understand. And I would be going thru a journey of rediscovery and renewal.

It's quite likely, given my sister and daughter, that I would have married someone who liked to party. Being a liberal, I would have been OK with drinking, even pot, and sex, but this would mean I would be more likely to fall in love with a man who eventually became an alcoholic or drug addict. Because I was dominant and very sexual, he wouldn't have wanted to have an affair, but he might have lost desire for me over time, especially after children and working. I probably would NOT be one of those women who worked out at the gym every week, so I would have had more waist and hips than I might have wanted.


So, I conclude that there would not be much difference, except the obvious, I'm in a man's body and have to make some physical changes....

I realize that EVERYTHING would be different! Since I didn't read all those non-fiction books, and develop social skills later, since I didn't go into computers and raised my family, choosing jobs that would let me be with my family, I wouldn't have been part of the effort to make the Internet available to the public, to proliferate servers and technology based on Open Source, and I wouldn't have wanted to fix up old computers, put Linux on them, and send them to "third world" countries.

If I were not there, writing to 8,000 publishers, 10,000 service providers, and making several posts/day to usenet newsgroups to support Linux and Open Source adoption by corporations, would the internet be different? Would we be paying $1/kilobyte to send simple text messages over telephone company controlled lines? Would we be paying Microsoft 20% of our incomes because they had sole control of the Internet? Would we be paying $1/minute for cell phone usage instead of $8 a month?

Would we have smart-phones? If there were no i-phone, no Android, no tablets, and no competitors driving the cell phone market, would a cell phone only be minimally useful as anything other than texting and voice?

If the Internet had been owned and controlled by the Government (As Al Gore wanted), or Microsoft (as Bill Gates wanted), would there have been as much diversity of opinion, or would there have been more censorship of economic and political discussions in the guise of restricting "pornography"? Would the cost to put up a web site been several $million rather than the $10-$30 per month for personally controlled hosting services?


Of course this is all just fun speculation. But, I'm curious what others had similar thoughts. Would your life be extremely different, or find similarities?

The movie "It's a wonderful life", is a great example of this premise.

When I was 10 years old, I died of Chigella. My body temperature rose to 108 degrees, my heart stopped, and they brought me back using CPR and covering my entire body with diapers soaked in ice water. While I was "gone", I remember going through a halway, saying hello to dead relatives, and being told to go to the light. I went through and was in a bright place. They asked me if I wanted to stay, or go back. When I asked what they wanted, they said "We'd like you to go back, there are things for you to do". I said "then let your will be done". For me, that was Jesus and God. Anyway, I came back to my body covered in freezing cold diapers, and fighting to get them off. There was a priest there, and the doctor said "you're BACK!!".

About 6 months later, my cousin killed himself because he didn't want to go to hell for acting on his "evil desires" (he was transgendered and may have had homosexual desires). I remember asking God "why". A small quiet voice said "I have lots of people who can preach to the choir, I need some people who can help those, like your cousin, who really need it, can you help me?". I said "yes", and it became a pivotal moment in my life. Only God knows how much I have really done, and how much I have done the way I have done it BECAUSE I was transsexual. I went to an all-girls' college to be one of the girls instead of getting a degree in engineering. I participated in the usenet newsgroup net.women (later soc.women) where I met Victoria Prince - the first transgender woman I had ever been able to interact with on a regular basis. The unrestricted flow of information impressed me. Victoria's book was ONLY available in Adult Bookstores, and not in many of those. Perhaps that's why I wanted so much to keep the internet a wide open network in which EVERYONE could publish their opinion and information, as well as GET that information, as well as be able to FIND that information quickly.

[Madeline80]

If my androgynous brain had been dropped into a female body, I think I would have just been a female version of me. As a GG, that means I would have been a tomboy. Athletic, competitive, and energetic. It might have been a better fit since GGs are more easily able to "cross" into the male world as they please (think about it, how cute is a girl in coveralls with a wrench in one hand and grease on her face? That would be me). I only have to look at my beautiful sisters to know what I would have looked like - the T Mobile girl!

[KellyJameson]

I would have had all the normal forms of unhappiness instead of all the abnormal forms of unhappiness.

The abnormal forms of unhappiness that no one else is experiencing just grinds you into the dust and leaves you always feeling alone.

Transsexuality is a terrible curse and I'm glad to almost be free from it.

[Angela Campbell]

If you were born a girl, especially in the early sixties, the following may have happened to you. The school guidance counselor would not have wasted time on talking to you about what you want to be when you grow up because your job would be to get married and have children. You would have been expected to sit in the back seat of the car so that the men could sit up front. Similarly you would be expect to cook the dinner then clean it up while all the men retire to have a drink, converse and smoke. You would have been excluded from many activities and yes you would make less pay. .

Oh wow let me see.....

"The school guidance counselor would not have wasted time on talking to you about what you want to be when you grow up"
This never happened to me at all, not once, not even close. I never had one conversation with any guidance counselor.

"because your job would be to get married and have children."
My dream come true....sigh!

"You would have been expected to sit in the back seat of the car so that the men could sit up front."
I always did anyway and would rather do so now. Someone else can take the responsibility of getting me where I am going, thank you very much!

"Similarly you would be expect to cook the dinner then clean it up"
Yes, I have done that all of my life and love it! Always did the cooking, taking care of the kitchen, laundry, cleaning the bathrooms....the list goes on.


"You would have been excluded from many activities and yes you would make less pay."
Exactly what I ended up with all along anyway. The boys did not accept me - even though I didn't want that, but neither did the girls. And Pay? I have always earned less than most employees I work with.

Instead I got stuck with being expected to be the main wage earner, to do all the heavy chores, to never cry because that is for sissies, to be big and tough, never admit emotion, to suck it up and be a MAN!

Gosh now I feel even worse about that damn ugly thing between the legs I was stuck with.

[Silmaril]

"You mean," said Lucy rather faintly, "that it would have turned out all right – somehow? But how? Please, Aslan! Am I not to know?"
"To know what would have happened, child?" said Aslan. "No. Nobody is ever told that."
"Oh dear," said Lucy.
"But anyone can find out what will happen," said Aslan ... "What will happen? There is only one way of finding out.”

--C.S. Lewis, Prince Caspian

[AnneB1nderful]

Thanks for all your responses. All were entertaining. Some were interesting, some were humorous, some were quite serious, and some were unexpected.

:thumbup:

[Allison Chaynes]

I don't know how my whole life would have differed, but I do wonder if my wife and I would have still ended up together....

[Jana]

Hi Anne, I don't like what-ifs that much. It's too broad a scope to even speculate. I have no idea what it would be like had I been born a girl. I mean, what if I were a GG but had gender dysphoria and were unhappy in that body also? I don't know, regarding gender issues, I prefer to live in the "here and now", know what I mean?

[SuzieLod]

The hole thing does not make much sense when you try to imagine YOU yourself as a GG. Reason is you would not be your current self to begin with.

So many things would be different.

So its a nice speculation, but not much substance to it

[AnneB1nderful]

This was just a fun fantasy. The reality is that there are too many variables in life if I were born a GG to really know what "could've been". I am what I am and I have no regrets for my past. I have a wonderful family and cherish all those memories as son, brother, husband, father, grandfather, uncle and friend. That will never be taken away nor do I want it to be removed from anyone's memories. But, that was me playing the traditional role of a man. I was those things, but only because I was suppressing the innermost part of me. So, I can't, and don't want to change the past. I just want to live my life to the best for today and prepare for the future with the knowledge that I have no idea what the future holds. Just as I can only speculate what could've been, I can only speculate what could happen next. The key is to not let these those become regret or worry but to have fun with these thoughts.