I Called HR Today

[LeaP]

Anonymously.

Even so, I was nervous. I also made sure that I called from a guest office. No need to out myself by telephone ...

I called the corporate head of HR. She is a direct report to the CEO. Surprisingly, she was as nice as she could be. What I expected was something like a company mouthpiece, a "say the right thing" spiel… something like that.

I said I knew the company had a gender identity policy but didn't know anything beyond that. Then I asked her if anyone had transitioned at the company. She said not since she had been there (about a year). She did say that people had transitioned in her prior job, however. Asked how that went, she said (brightly) "fine!"

I went on to explain my concerns. That unlike well-established diversity policies, process, education, and even behavioral norms associated with more common things like race, gender diversity doesn't come up as much. Her response was really interesting.

She said that most diversity policies come up situationally. They arrive and are developed as new employee situations crop up. Further, she said a lot of the content is developed by what the individuals present. She didn't mean that the individuals write the policies or anything like that, but that they are developed from the employee's plans and needs through the HR specialists assigned. She also said that the attitude and approach of the employee has a lot to do with it. Further, she said she had such specialists on staff who are very good at such things.

Finally, she gave me a contact name. She offered to have her call me – and then laughed, remembering that I called anonymously. I said I was definitely going to keep things anonymous for a period of time until I knew more and felt comfortable.

All in all, she was very welcoming and helpful. I thanked her and apologized for having to remain anonymous for now. She said that this type of call was actually more the norm for her. Maybe that's why I got her the first time I tried to call. No admin. No voicemail.

Whew.

[stefan37]

That is great. It is always hard to take that first step, but absolutely necessary for your personal growth. I am self employed, all my employees know I am changing genders and my most loyal customers know. I know how hard it is to take that first step. As you disclose to more it does get easier. It is terrific you received such positive vibes. Good luck as you move forward.
I am happy for you.

[Angela Campbell]

I have done something quite similar lately. It has been so much of a weight off of my shoulders since I have. I can now worry about other stuff. Good for you Lea.

[LeaP]

I saw that, Ellen, but couldn't remember who it was.

I haven't had that sensation of stepping off a ledge since making the decision to start hormones. I have to say that it didn't take me nearly as long!

[Ann Louise]

Good for you Lea. It seems like the longer we're in transition, the better and better our brains get rewired. I approached our HR just recently, too. One thing led to another, particularly since I seem to be becoming fearless about outing myself. HR and the managers conducted a division-wide outing meeting for me today. Quite a few attended. I didn't go, by design, but tacked on a personal letter to the troops to the branch manager's announcement email. Tomorrow is my first real full-time day at work. Combined with full-time in all the rest of my life means RLE 24/7 starts tomorrow. Thank goodness! SRS here I come.

Do you feel your strength and resolve building? Mine sure has. You're in the driver's seat dear! All the best, Ann x0*-*0x

[Rianna Humble]

Sounds like a great response. It's good that you have the anonymous call option and that you got straight through to the head of HR. Especially as it sounds like she will be driving the diversity policies herself.

[Angela Campbell]

It is funny, the fear around coming out is really getting less and less as I progress. Since starting hormones I really do not feel it is so Odd to be changing and it feels so much more natural to be a girl. This makes it seem less awkward when I tell someone and it feels so much better when I do.

Yeah when I do openly change at work it will surprise quite a few but it really does not feel out of place for me anymore. My company does support me and they are being very helpful as well.In fact she told me she thought it was pretty cool.

Anonymous is the best way to start just the way you did it. When the response is positive then you can open up and begin a plan. You are on the right track girl!

[Nicole Erin]

She said that most diversity policies come up situationally. They arrive and are developed as new employee situations crop up. Further, she said a lot of the content is developed by what the individuals present.


Sadly, this sometimes means each time a company is litigated for discrimination, they broaden their diversity policy to avoid future law suits. At least the company I work for does it like that.

That is ok though, whatever it takes to get them to wake up.

[LeaP]

There's some truth in that, Erin. I never lose sight of the fact that HR's first purpose is to protect the company's interests – not look out for the employee. That said, most of the people in the field tend to have a humanist streak. I looked up this person's background, for example. She was a sociology major in college.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Lea I think that is a great approach.

I think Nicole is right and the HR rep (if she is a pro) is first looking at the companies interest but hopefully with a context that she wants you help you be successful as the way to help the company in the best way possible..

[Rianna Humble]

Nicole may well be right, but there are some places where HR is also interested in the employee. When I began planning for my transition in 2010, I was the first person they had had who had begun their transition whilst working for this company.

I held a couple of meetings with HR and with my manager where we sorted out a support protocol to try to ensure that my transition went smoothly for me as well as for the company. During those a couple of issues came up that they had not anticipated and we found a way around those.

I recently discovered that they have used this experience to set a new HR policy for supporting people to transition. This is on top of an already very good diversity policy, so it can work.

I hope that Lea's experience is at least as positive and from the sound of things we can be very hopeful that it will indeed.

[Angela Campbell]

Some companies , such as the one I work for, have customers who in contract negotiations ask for information on safety policies, diversification policies, pay policies and all sorts of things. They take the information (along with so much more)and work out a score to be used in deciding which company to get the contracts.

Yes they are concerned with law suits and will do a lot to avoid them, but they also have to keep some policies on things like racial makeup of employees, gender, sexual preferences and yes even gender identity, in order to keep a good standing in some business communities. Even if the other entities they are doing business with now do not ask for such a thing, they know things are changing and that one day many will and they want to have a record of doing this long before the competition is doing it. I do know many ask about fairness of gender, race, and sexual preference, so how long before they will be looking at people who are transgender in the workforce?

Things are changing worldwide and a smart company looks into the future and knows there is no place for discrimination or bigotry of any kind in a successful business.

[LeaP]

Yes, and my company (which is a major broker-dealer) has a number of advisors that market to the LGBT community specifically.

[Angela Campbell]

In my case the company is being super supportive. Just since I talked to the HR manager on Monday, they have checked if the insurance will cover anything - they will not - but they will cover my time off with short term disability if I use up all of my vacation time. She is looking for ways to help me with the costs every way they can. I get the impression she really thinks it is cool.

[Kathryn Martin]

Where did you call from?

[LeaP]

I called from an unused visitor office at work.

[stefan37]

Well Lea looks like you are about to take a huge step forward. Good Luck

[GirlieAmanda]

Great work. That is a fabulous outreach that you made. It will give you confidence for future calls.

[Nicole Erin]

This is but speculation but with companies having anti-discrimination based on gender -
I have to wonder if "transgender" is included. Perhaps they just don;t really know how to properly word it into their policy.
The company i work for words it as "Gender expression and identity".
But then, with companies that don't say it like that, maybe it just has not come up yet.

[LeaP]

My company also has it worded as gender identity and expression. I think the distinctions among transgender, transsexual, and other variations are completely lost on most people. "Transgender" used to be the flavor of the month, now it's "gender identity." We are accustomed to talking about gender identity among ourselves, of course, but that is not what we are. What we are is transsexual, and that carries very specific needs. Frankly, I only have a theoretical interest in "transgender" issues, cross-dressers, and others with gender expression variation needs. "Gender identity and expression" as applied to transsexuals makes it sound like some sort of Ã* la carte choice.

So in that respect, I get the need to set policy approaches on a case-by-case basis. I'm not so thrilled about being the test case, though. I would prefer to walk into a situation where the policy is mature and the experience is richer.

[stefan37]

Sometimes we have to blaze our own trail.

[Jorja]

As you know there are many flavors of gender identity and each person expresses it differently among the community that is Transgender. Most companies have adopted a wide ranging policy to try to cover all. When they have a specific case they must tailor their policy to fit the individual involved. Think of it as painting with a big 4" paint brush or a tiny detail brush.

[LeaP]

True, Jorga, but my guess is that instances of non-transsexuals dealing with corporate gender diversity policies and issues are few and far between. Only one story of a crossdresser in the workplace readily comes to mind - a professor in Toronto, if I recall correctly. I come across stories and reports of transsexuals in the workplace - good and bad - all of the time.

So while I agree that it's possible a given company may have to manage across the so-called transgender spectrum, the facts suggest that the breadth has a PC aspect. In my opinion that matters because from the standpoint of policies critical to transsexuals and not to the others, the result is usually minimum accommodation. This is clearly reflected in limited insurance coverages, many of which are medically necessary to transsexuals but cosmetic to others with "gender identity and expression" concerns. Policies aimed at the "transgender" population are not going to be tailored in individual cases to the needs of the transsexual at companies with such insurance limitations.

[Angela Campbell]

The biggest differences in a TS and some other part of the TG spectrum is the TS usually has a diagnosis and treatment from a Doctor - or several.

The insurance is a tricky one. If they do not cover SRS or any of these costs they save a lot of money that the employees will have to pay. The chances are that they will not have any TS employees so to their view, why make all the other employees pay higher premiums just to cover something they do not expect to see anyway.

Just a few years ago most did not even offer prescription coverage and did not until other companies started doing so.

[vikki2020]

Is it me, or are we hearing more,and more posts about coming out at work!? Good luck with everything, Lea. I'm ready to make that move also--but,still a bit wary about it. These posts give me a little push, each time. Actually, I'm hoping they come to me first--as I'm getting a bit "obvious",lol!

[Rianna Humble]

Vikki, please do not wait for HR to come to you! In general they will only do that if they perceive you to be causing a problem.

It would be much more prudent for you to take the initiative, even if it is only to find out what their approach to diversity might be.

[vikki2020]

Think so? Yes, I can see that view-point. I was kind of hoping that they would say that we see a bit of a new "look", and that it's ok---or, something to that effect, to start the conversation. I just don't want to make the wrong move--and rather would play "defense",lol! It's a bank, with about 200 employees, but 14 locations. Our place has about 20 people. Mostly, long time employees--I'm at 15 years now, so, the foundation is good.

[Angela Campbell]

Is it me, or are we hearing more,and more posts about coming out at work!? Good luck with everything, Lea. I'm ready to make that move also--but,still a bit wary about it. These posts give me a little push, each time. Actually, I'm hoping they come to me first--as I'm getting a bit "obvious",lol!

If you are going to transition you can either come out to work or find a new job and come out there. Not a lot of choices. But as said before try to make some anonymous inquiries before you do to feel them out if you can. They may be supportive and maybe not.