Strange looking creature

[gonegirl]

That's me, a strange looking creature. My body looks somewhere between male and female. I feel like a sculpture that is half finished.

I'm taking my transition steady and slow, and as such, I still dress mostly like a dude. It's definitely confusing people. Strangers often stare, trying to figure out what they're looking at. Occasionally someone will gender me female (thank you!).

This is a weird place to be, but I'm still very happy and proud to finally be me :)

Nano nano.
Simone.

[GirlieAmanda]

I know. Even though my face looks feminine, my body still has some catching up. My boob growth is slow to nil, My hip growth is slow. I am sort of feminine in the body but it still looks a little male. I am a little impatient but I only waited 40 years! It's a hard place to be, in the middle. In clothes, I look fine but when I take it all off, I am not liking everything I see. I need to see more female. It's what I am striving for. I hope it will come eventually.

[LeaP]

It is a weird place to be. Very weird. I am under no illusions – I clearly come across male to virtually everyone. But there are features and cues that are off enough to confuse people a bit. Boobs are part of that. But so are changes in things as subtle as expression and ineffable things like attitude. So I get the wondering look and puzzled expression.

It's interesting that the confusion is confined almost entirely to complete strangers. People who have a context – at work, say – accept you readily as presented. It is those without a context who are confused by the mixed messages.

[Angela Campbell]

I still work as a male and sometimes I get looks. Some may think I am a "strange" man I guess. When I can be a girl not so many stares. LOL I went out last night to get dinner from the hotel wearing jeans and a tank top (no bra) and got quite a few stares. I guess my chest does not match my face....and I don't walk like a man, or sit like a man, and lately I don't talk much like one either.

[BOBBI G.]

I am in the very early stages of mine, and I'm into my RLT. Use a little padding for effect and that is about all. Still not used to the occasional pronouns her and she or the rare ma'am's. Nice to hear though. I'm not trying to fool anyone and am just relieved to finalllly be me.

Bobbi

[bas1985]

It's interesting that the confusion is confined almost entirely to complete strangers. People who have a context – at work, say – accept you readily as presented. It is those without a context who are confused by the mixed messages.

I agree entirely. "context" is the magic word. As long as we give mixed messages the context can save the passability test.

This is why I am starting to think that RLT is more difficult during free time than at work.

[MysticLady]

Hi Simone

I would say, welcome to our world, but given you are much further along than I choose too be, I guess I need to say keep on forging the path for us behind you. I can relate the to the feeling of being different and alone. I am so glad I have you all for friends. Otherwise, I would go looney.:hugs:

P.S. Even though, I don't have an ID card or have any HRT or surgeries, I still consider myself Honored to be amongst you all. I am a Transexual....part time:) . Even though Melissa doesn't think so :p .

[Aprilrain]

The, "what the **** is that" stage is hard to get through. Everything about transition takes time and i'm kinda impatient. I look back at some of my early photos and wonder what possessed me to leave the house! Thankfully I did and eventually things got better. The real turning point for me was FFS. Hormones have helped soften my skin and given me somewhat of a feminine shape, though there is much to be desired. I had BA last november and my boobs are still healing. Growing out my hair, electrolysis on my face and laser on my body are frustratingly slow processes. I have been doing all this for 2.5 years or so and am still working on it. I want my hair down to the middle of my back and the beard and body hair completely gone! Voice Is about the only thing that came really easily for me, I don't know why it just did. That's not to say i didn't practice, I did I just didn't struggle with it the way some people do.

Thats just the physical stuff, psychologically getting used to a new role in life takes time as well, this is where Therapy is really helpful but having a support group of other TSes is invaluable, at least it was for me. I had underlying issues with depression which required medication, It took me awhile to sort out and separate what was gender related from what was just depression. Now I get to look forward to the changes that SRS will no doubt bring : )

[MysticLady]

It took me awhile to sort out and separate what was gender related from what was just depression. Now I get to look forward to the changes that SRS will no doubt bring : )

I'm so happy for you April. Yes, depression is horrible and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. The horrible feeling of being "alone" is probably as bad as being in Hell. You keep on with your bad, oops, I mean good self!:hugs:

[Jorja]

That in between stage is challenging and weird. That is probably the most difficult stage. Hang in there and keep working toward your goal. You will get there.