A Sceptical 4-year Old

[Persephone]

My spouse and I (en femme) had lunch after our morning hair apointments. As she was at the counter paying the tab I was watching a father and son playing in the waiting area.

Eventually they ended up standing near me and the mother who was standing in line to pay after my spouse finished. By now the father had the boy up on his shoulders.

I turned to the father and said, "Enjoy him, they grow up quickly."

The father said, "I know, he already turns five next week."

I smiled up at the boy and said, "So you will be five soon?"

He looked at me through slightly widened eyes and said, "Are you a girl?"

I said, "Yes."

He said, "You sound like a man."

His mother stared up at him, "She is a lady," she said, nicely but firmly.

I looked at him and kinda gestured at my throat, "I have a problem with my voice."

"She has a problem with her voice," his father echoed.

This seemed to satisfy the boy a bit.

"So are you going to be five soon?" I smiled up at him again.

The clouds parted and there was a little smile, "Yes!"

"Well, Happy Birthday!" I said.

The smile got really big as he delighted in being wished a Happy Birthday.

My spouse was ready, I said a quick "Good Bye" to them all and we headed out.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[jennyscott]

What a way to take a potentially negative experience and make it positive for everyone within earshot Persephone! Your experience AND confidence made the difference here. I love the way you identified a problem with your voice. Truth be said, we all have problems with our voices, lol. One to remember.

[Erica Marie]

That is a very nice story. It was excellent of the parents to correct the boy in a fashion that hopefully in the future will make him reconsider how he looks at things. Raise the younger generation to be open minded and thoughtfull and maybe one day things will get better for everyone.

[aliciasoprano]

Kids say the darndest things

[Kate Simmons]

Little kids and teenage girls seem to see right through us Hon. I thought you handled it very well though.:thumbsup::)

[DebbieL]

If you think you are "passing", just observe the reactions of small boys and teen-age girls. If they notice you at all, they will probably read you like a book. The younger teens (13-15) have the hardest time controlling the giggles and laughter.

I was at one airport, flying pretty, and realized that there were at least 2 girls' softball teams waiting to get on the same plane I was taking. I thought for sure that it would get awkward. Instead, they didn't even look that closely. I was conservatively dressed, hair and make-up appropriate for day, and appropriate to a woman of my age (mid 50s). They just saw me as an old lady. I look a bit younger, perhaps late 40s with the hair and make-up, but I don't even try to pretend that i can wear a miniskirt, or tight low-cut blouse, or are tight around the waist/chest.

The only times I have been outed by little kids lately, was when i tried to wear a shorter skirt and a blouse that was too tight. The kid was 4, and stared at me for a few seconds, and said, "Why does he look like a girl?" to his father. There were a few others who took a better look and realized what I was, and I just had to smile and live with being "out". Need more real life experience.

[Stephanie47]

I think little kids are still in the process of analyzing the world and where they fit in. They are usually unburdened by the stresses of life. They seem to crave order in their lives. Not all, but most. I remember when my daughter had a fit in a bus over thirty years ago when she saw a bus driver with a pony tail and a beard. "Men are not suppose to have long hair." She sensed something was different and out of place.

That's the time when an adult needs to do just what these parents did. They did not make any judgement. They offered a plausible explanation. Others may have made a big fuss and cast dispersions that would have engrained some negative behavior in the child.

When I saw the Jackie Robinson move (42) the scene of the boy and father at the game yelling the N word. The boy was perplexed at first by his father yelling the N word, but, then joined in because he wanted to emulate his father. Negative behavior is learned and becomes engrained if not corrected.

[Di]

What a beautiful story Persephone:hugs:

[Beverley Sims]

Barbara,
Being sprung in a nice way.
I little experience for all of you.
I agree teenage girls are the worst and also the most danger as they can make vindictive allegations about us also.

[wilt575]

Little kids and teenage girls seem to see right through us Hon. I thought you handled it very well though.:thumbsup::)

You've got that so right, and don,t know how they do it.

[Eryn]

He [4-year-old boy] looked at me through slightly widened eyes and said, "Are you a girl?"

I said, "Yes."

He said, "You sound like a man."

Is it possible that the child heard you before he saw you? He might have formed an image of you based upon your lower-register voice and then had that image contradicted by you appearance. The combination of limited exposure to a range of female voices and the lack of filters inherent in a 4-year-old resulted in the question.


Little kids and teenage girls seem to see right through us Hon. I thought you handled it very well though.:thumbsup::)


You've got that so right, and don,t know how they do it.

I don't think that they are more perceptive than anyone else. They simply have fewer filters and are willing to express their ideas even if they may be wrong. Adults are more fearful of being embarrassed and will keep their thoughts to themselves until evidence is conclusive and there is a good reason to express them.