My 1st gender visit

[bas1985]

Coming from my first gender visit in Turin (Italy).

I went to it half in Drag, with light trousers, feminine shoes without heels,
nothing particular feminine, but decisively not masculine.

The therapist made me immediately at ease, she asked my real name, but
then she asked how she could call me. I said "Marina", she asked why.

(Marina in Italian means seascape).

I told her that I come from Genoa, a city on the sea, and the sea is remembering
me of transformation, it divides continents, but it is also a union.

----

We chatted for a bit and then she said to me that that center follows strict
guidelines to give HRT. First I have a period of six months in which my
candidacy is evaluated. I will have tests, psychological and psychiatric talks,
endocrinology visits and then I will have a YES-NO verdict to HRT.

The good news is that if I am entitled to HRT this is free for the entire life.

I am not obliged to go through SRS but I have to notify my local court after
one year of HRT because I will in any case file for the name change. It is
a formal duty here in Italy.

She was very nice.

Unfortunately in August here in Italy is all closed for the holidays, next meeting
will be on October 4th (!!), but in any case from that moment things will
accelerate, I have already scheduled an endo visit for October 17th.

These initial visits during the evaluation period are not free, but they are
affordable and this is a very welcome news for me.

I have to thank you all of you for the indirect support.

I have started in any case to go full time. Not so much "visible", just trousers,
feminine shoes and colored t-shirts.

Do I pass? Well, probably not... but I don't receive bad remarks. People just ignore
me, or they give to me a quick glance. I have started my journey.

[Rianna Humble]

Glad the first visit went well and its good news that if you qualify, the hormones will be free for life.

I think that you are right to prepare for being full time as this will also show the psychologists and psychiatrists that you are serious about transition.

[bas1985]

Thank you Rianna,

as going full time I have read that some psychologist require a bit of full time even before HRT.

The reason is quite natural, HRT for a short time may be reversible, but the nasty thing is that
when it is reversible it has not had the time to change anything in the body, so it is perfectly the
same to go full time before hrt (apart from the psychological effects, of course).

I don't want to take the risk of starting HRT and full time and then change idea.

I prefer to change idea (if ever) before changing my body.

[Angela Campbell]

I guess that is ok for some, but I like the way it is here. After evaluation HRT is started and you set your own pace for beginning RLE. After a year of that then SRS is planned. Of course I have to pay out of pocket for EVERYTHING. But then there is not one chance in hell I am going to just change my mind. My mind didn't make the decision so it cannot change anything. If I used reason I would never have even considered this. I do not know why or how but it was never my choice at all. I am just along for the ride.

[bas1985]

I understand that there is no choice at all, in case of GD the "free will" is not included, but only a state of complete surrender to our own "fate" (if I can say so).

Yes, the choice can be to go against the stream, but with high risk.

Regarding the pre-acceptance period I think that of course it is done to avoid to administer free hormones to men who only want cosmetic changes to their bodies not with a clear intention of transition. When I said "change mind" I intended that there is the possibility to want to slow down the things a bit... but I see no turning back now.

[Angela Campbell]

That is true and a good idea, but that should be what the initial therapy should be able to determine if it is just a case of someone wanting cosmetic effects and not a true TS. I am not a psychologist so it is just my thoughts and may well be wrong.

In my case the choice to fight it was a 50 year battle where I did fight, and at the end I was just too tired to continue the fight and then there was no choice to go ahead and begin the transition. I was slowly killing myself and would not survive that way much longer.I know it may be different in others but that is my story.

Good luck to you Bas, I hope it works out well.

[I Am Paula]

I glad for you for the start of this crazy journey. The Italian system sounds a bit cumbersome, but if it gets you to the same place, then all is well. In Canada a gender therapist can make the call about GD in as little as one session, but most demand three meetings. The choice for more, is of course available.
Good luck!

[Angela Campbell]

My therapist I think made the diagnosis the first meeting but the letter for hormones didn't come until a couple of months later. There was more he needed to determine than just a case of gender dysphoria, (which was pretty obvious) and he had to make sure I was educated and psychologically ready for transition.

He told me on the last session there is no need to come back for a while unless I begin to have problems or need the next set of letters.

I think it is so interesting how this is done by the medical profession in different areas. Even in the same country there are so many differences in how this is done.

[sandra-leigh]

Last year I spoke to an endo who proscribes for HRT, and asked (on behalf of a few posters here) about the plausibility of "trying" hormones; the response was positive, and the endo said that the effects were fully reversible except to the extent that breast growth would be permanent.

The endo was headed elsewhere so I did not get time to question the boundaries of "fully reversible". I have repeatedly seen it written that MTF on HRT will eventually go sterile (but that it will not happen in the first few months.) I have seen discussion that sounded plausible, that in at least some on HRT, the testicles mostly give up on creating testosterone; the discussions were not clear as to whether that was "permanently" or if instead production would resume if one was off HRT for "sufficiently long". My personal medical tests do suggest that it is true that eventually, in some, estrogen supply alone is enough to keep testosterone at low levels, without needing anti-androgens.

[Ann Louise]

Congratulations Bas, that's pretty much the way I started my journey. I like your words "decisively not masculine." Your HRT will probably soften your appearance, and your heart some, too. These gatekeepers... Oh well. I don't think our journeys will end, really, until our lives do. Maybe this will give you extra time to realize what kind of woman you currently are, and what kind you will ultimately become. I know I'm quite different, already, and I'm very surprised how lovely life is without maleness. You're starting your own personal miracle! Good for you. Be strong and think for yourself, Ann

[Marleena]

It sounds like you're on your way Bas. I hope the gatekeepers are not difficult for you. It seems each country is different in the way they approach things. Here in Canada it seems so much easier. I was shocked to hear how difficult it was for one of the U.S. postop girls here who is obviously TS to get past the gatekeepers. In my case my TS support group was instrumental in helping me go through the proper channels. It also helped that I had lifelong bouts with depression that were never resolved until I mentioned the GD.

[bas1985]

Thanks for the support!

well, the psychologist yesterday told me that they don't want to be considered "evil", even when she admits that these 6 months usually are stressful for people who go there with hurry and a sense of inevitability that badly matches with the calm and the lazy Italian procedure.

But I think that this "evil" can do me good. I am starting the journey, I am not young, but not too old. I am 40, even if I take 4-5 years to make a full transition I can hope to live my last 30 or so years with my correct gender. But surely I am not going to feed the male dream (nightmare) any more.

[Angela Campbell]

That is a good way to think, since there is no fast transition. It takes a long time.