What exactly is......Gender Dysphoria

[MysticLady]

Hello All.

Since I've been a member here, I have read countless posts regarding this Gender Dysphoria. It's appears too me that it is different intensities too different people. It appears to have a definition as broad as reasons for crossdressing. I know that this coupled w/ something else, like depression, makes it intolerable for some. If someone were to eliminate everything else attached too it, would it be something manageable or even worth mentioning since for some it may be a non-event. In my case, crossdressing is a gender dysphoria I suspect but, the intensity may not be as strong as for someone on the other end needing too and transitioning into a woman. Tell me in your words what this means too you and if other events or bodily changes or maturity in age have affected the intensity for you. Thank You in Advance for your thoughts.

[arbon]

Trying to live as a guy sucked. It was one big fat lie driven by fear and shame.

[Marleena]

Victoria you sure seem to like us.:)

Here is a description based on a gender therapist definition. http://www.avitale.com/theproblem.htm She has treated over 500 people.

[mikiSJ]

Gender is a spectrum ranging from the truly masculine to the truly feminine and very few are found at the ends of the spectrum. For me, I never felt comfortable in the male role and the need to compete with the "hunters". I was good at faking it, but never comfortable. When I was "retired" a year ago, it gave me the opportunity to leave my male life behind and explore the feminine aspects of Miki that had to be hidden for so long.

I simply feel much more comfortable around women, regardless of what is between their legs, and whether I am dressed femininely or not. Miki is happy, Michael isn't and right now that is all that counts.

[Nicole Brown]

I can only speak for myself, but here is my understanding of the term Gender Dysphoria, GD. The recolonized authority on transgendered health is WPATH, World Professional Association for Transgendered Health. WPATH has published a series of documents which are called the Standards of Care, SOC, which is considered by most as the authority on care for transgendered individuals. Through version 6 of this document, the term gender dysphoria did not exist and instead it was called Gender Identity Disorder, GID.

GID was viewed as a psychiatric disorder and as such carried a negative image. With the recent introduction of version 7 of the SOC, the term GID was abandoned and replaced with the term Gender Dysphoria which carries a much less negative image. Thus, the way it was explained to me, Gender Dysphoria identifies the mismatch between an transsexuals mind and body. So, in terms of a MtF, we have a female mind with a male body. The FtM is the exact opposite with a male mind and a female body.

The reason that Gender Dysphoria is associated with depression is that many who suffer from this condition, myself included, begin to feel depressed due to the differences between their mind and their body. Some handle this difference with ease while others, like me, have much greater difficulties. I know of several girls who nearly became suicidal before they began taking hormones to help stabilize their condition.

This is really not an easy topic to discuss as there can be as many different severities as there are individuals diagnosed with it.

[Ericaxd]

Marleena:

I read through the link you provided: That's the story of my life in a nutshell.

[Marleena]

@ Erica it will be very similar for all of us.:) That's why I didn't bother to type my own symptoms and history again. I just simply felt like I was going nuts without actually getting there... Only HRT worked for me.

Well I hope others chime in on what they experienced as far as the GD goes, Victoria. Since you actually want to learn about it, here is a link on treatments: http://www.avitale.com/TreatmentPlan.htm I think it's great when people want to learn more about what being TS is really like.

[KellyJameson]

I think it is important to separate gender dysphoria from transitioning because people transition for reasons other than gender dysphoria.

In my opinion gender dysphoria is all about identity as who you have learned yourself to be when this is in conflict with what the physical world is telling you.

The mind lives in the physical world including the physical brain which has structure but also is plastic so the mind as "us" changes from this plasticity but we also stay the same from this structure expressed as temperament

There is a part of you that is timeless as your genetic heritage so you were predestined to be "you" in some ways.

I believe that part of our identity is wrapped up in this timeless expression of genetics.

Gender as identity is a product of sexual differences so if there were not two sexes there would be no gender dysphoria but there would be non gender related dysphoria which is also about identity.

Sexual differences are not only about chromosomes and hormones but how genes are turned on or off and the effect this has on the cells of the body and their response to the bodies chemicals such as hormones.

This means that through epigenetic changes caused by the environment to genes and their cell expression this will decide to what degree a mammal is female or male at a cellular level by how the cell is affect and acts and it is this cumulated expression that creates the person.

In my opinion transsexuals are genetic expressions that are epigenetically made in the womb when they are transsexuals who transition because of identity as the expression of gender dysphoria.

The mind as the structure of the brain finds it impossible to adopt the identity assigned from living in the environment.

The mind experiences the self as the opposite of the gender label assigned by the interaction of self with the sexes and it is this interaction between self and others that reinforces the selfs known gender that is in conflict with the assigned gender.

Gender is a social construct as an extension of the biological differences between the sexes so when your biological structure at a genetic and cellular level is such that your design leaves you experiencing the world psychologically and physiologically as females do than you will identify with females but will experience dysphoria from being forced to not be what you know yourself to be.

The structure of your brain and nervous system is female at a cellular level and as the structure that is created so your thinking and feeling processes are female.

You experience a severe identity conflict between how others define you and how you define yourself by how you experience the self, so know the self.

It creates the perpetual sensation of always being trapped in a lie created by others that makes you constantly question reality resulting in and expressed as gender dysphoria along with dissociative states and other possible forms of mental illness created by the existential trauma of not being able to solve the need for identity.

[Aprilrain]

For me it was a question I kept asking myself over and over until it became to much to bear. "Why do I want to be the one thing in Life I CAN NOT BE!" (a woman) The question became irrelevant once I started transition and was only a function of denial. It was pain and desperation that finally got me to make a move toward transition. I think everyone feels that for one reason or another at some point in their life.

[Angela Campbell]

I can only describe what it has been for me.

It is a complete disconnect from the world. It is always being alone even in a crowd, because you know you are different and if anyone knew why they would hate you, and hurt you and all of your childhood fears will come true. It is covering up every minute of every day and always thinking about everything you do because any slip up could be the end of the world.

It is looking in a mirror (which becomes less and less often over time) and being disgusted at what you see. It is giving up on taking care of that awful body you live in and allowing it to go to ruin. It is slowly committing suicide by sloth and obesity.

It is loving everyone else so much that you stay away from them because who would want to be around something so wrong and disgusting.

It is living in fear 24 - 7 365, and that fear includes the fear of admitting to yourself that you really cannot handle it anymore.

Then a life changing event takes place and there is clarity. You realize something can be done and although it is the most frightening thing that you have feared all of your life you know that it is the only way you can continue in this world. It is realizing a dream you had given up so long ago is possible, and giving up on it is not. It is a complete letting go of so much stress kind of like when a fingernail is smashed and the nail turns black and you drill a hole in the nail and the relief is almost like an orgasm.

Kind of like being on death row for years and suddenly let go and winning the lottery in the dame day.

[Rianna Humble]

Cross-dressing is not Gender Dysphoria. Some transsexuals try cross-dressing as a way to relieve the Dysphoria, but the WPATH Standards of Care v7 make it very plain that
The SOC ... offer standards for promoting optimal health care and guiding the treatment of people experiencing gender dysphoria – broadly defined as discomfort or distress that is caused by a discrepancy between a person’s gender identity and that person’s sex assigned at birth (and the associated gender role and/or primary and secondary sex characteristics) (Fisk, 1974; Knudson, De Cuypere, & Bockting, 2010b).
Intensity of Gender Dysphoria varies over the entire life of a transsexual. When it hits the tipping point, we transition.

It doesn't matter how many other considerations you try to eliminate, the fact is that our brain does not match the sex that was assigned to us at birth and this causes us distress.

A few examples of what this has meant to me over the years:

At the age of 7 or 8, I would cry myself to sleep wishing I could wake up the same as any other girl, then I would wake up the next morning to find my birth defect was still there.
...
In my early adult life, I was unable to marry the woman I loved with all of my heart because she was heterosexual and needed a husband - I still have not got over that more than a quarter of a century later
...
Some years ago whilst I was in denial, seeing a woman wearing a particular item of clothing and having to stop myself from jumping in front of the oncoming train because people thought I was a man. I didn't want to wear the woman's clothes, I wanted to be her
...
Shortly before I began my transition, throwing up every time I had to go out of the house pretending to be a man

[MysticLady]

Hello All. Thank you for all your responses. I've read through them and have gathered some info regarding how each individual processes this.

Rianna, you say the CDing is not a Dysphoria. What would you attribute CDing too? I understand that the "so Called" experts have put their ideas down and have made them a standard as WPATH has. Too me, this are humans that have theories and ideas but don't really know what it actually is. Their theories and ideas keep getting updated and changing therefore not set in stone, so to speak. I respect their opinions but they're only ideas or theories. Each individual has they're own set of dynamics in which they deal with it on their terms.

Kelly, you say that the mind has a big part in this. What about the heart. There's a being within the heart that constantly fights the mind. Do you think part of the problem may be this struggle, the heart vs the mind? I've always felt that the heart is master and the mind is slave. What if someone has this reversed? do you think that this may be an issue in regards to this Identity?

Again, thank you for your thoughts on this. I really appreciate your involvement in this discussion.

[I Am Paula]

CDing was a means to an end. It allowed me to be comfortable enough to function. It took years for GD to get to the point that even living as a woman full time did not quell the growing demons. The point in my GD that I knew I was fighting a losing battle, was when I could no longer present male. It made me physically sick. Living male was a death sentence. When I started therapy I got fast tracked, as my team knew I was near the end of my rope.
Thank you HRT. I feel much better now. I can put on guy clothes in a pinch, but it still causes me some anxiety.

[Angela Campbell]

I've always felt that the heart is master and the mind is slave. What if someone has this reversed?
.

Then the person is likely a man.

LOL

[MysticLady]

Interesting thought Ellen. Could be a possibility. I wonder if the "Macho" comes from this. The softness of a heart cannot be shown because it'll be a sign of weakness to the world.

[Angela Campbell]

The "Macho" comes from that nasty testosterone stuff.

[MatildaJ.]

Here is a description based on a gender therapist definition. http://www.avitale.com/theproblem.htm.

But in her piece, she wrote:
>> We also know that every individual's sense of gender, once established, is unchangeable over the individual's life time. Men do not suddenly think they are women and women do not suddenly think they are men.>>

And yet, on this board, we regularly see posters who are stunned to realize that now they want HRT, and FFS, and, maybe SRS, even though for forty odd years they said and believed that they were happy being men, and that the cross-dressing was just a fun hobby / sexual fetish / way to express a female aspect of their generally male personality.

[Marleena]

@ Jess, the author is describing Gender Dysphoria not Transsexualism in that article. We can open a can of worms here.

Re:transsexualism
Most of us knew at an early age 4-6 years is typical that we are girls or supposed to be girls. Some of us, like myself did not get the connection, I couldn't reason how I could have a boy"s body yet want to be a girl. It was a feeling of being a freak or not right and on the outside looking in.

[I Am Paula]

Alot of us knew we were trans, but chose the potent tool of denial, to fulfill other peoples idea of what is 'right'. We married, had kids, over compensated about our masculinity, and pretended to be content. When we suddenly discovered our transexuality, it was not new, just buried under the surface.
Our gender was there from the start, just whitewashed over so nobody else could see it.

[Marleena]

And yet, on this board, we regularly see posters who are stunned to realize that now they want HRT, and FFS, and, maybe SRS, even though for forty odd years they said and believed that they were happy being men, and that the cross-dressing was just a fun hobby / sexual fetish / way to express a female aspect of their generally male personality.

This is not the way a TS individual will feel, like I said earlier we know early on in life. A gender therapist is needed and will reveal the truth for these individuals..

[MatildaJ.]

When we suddenly discovered our transexuality, it was not new, just buried under the surface.

How about "it didn't feel new, it felt like it had just been uncovered"? That allows for the idea that ten years earlier, the person may not have had the idea that anything was buried under the surface.


This is not the way a TS individual will feel, like I said earlier we know early on in life.

How do you know what other people actually knew as children? You know what you knew, and you know what other people tell you they knew. But people do make up stories to allow themselves to feel more comfortable in the present. Have you read Julia Serano's Whipping Girl? I found it immensely interesting.

[Marleena]

Jess I don't know what they felt, how could I ? I know how I felt. I know how a TS person should feel based on case studies. That was my point.:)

[MatildaJ.]

I know how a TS person should feel based on case studies.

Julia Serano's point is that the case studies are pretty useless, since many people just told therapists what they believed the therapists wanted to hear. If the standard of care says that you have to have had these feelings forever (and if there's no way to prove that you didn't have these feelings), then of course people seeking treatment are going to SAY they had these feelings forever. Personally, I think it's not as simple as the idea that everyone who wants to transition has always felt they were in the wrong body.

[MysticLady]

Here is a description based on a gender therapist definition. http://www.avitale.com/theproblem.htm She has treated over 500 people.

Hi Marleena, Like I said, these are ideas and theories, nothing concrete. If they keep on studying, they will find even more differences and make even more theories. They will never understand this. I won't base my thoughts on what someone else thinks, even if they are professionals, physiologists, psychiatrists or whatever.


But in her piece, she wrote:
>> We also know that every individual's sense of gender, once established, is unchangeable over the individual's life time. Men do not suddenly think they are women and women do not suddenly think they are men.>>


You see what I mean, They're wrong. This is very much the case w/ some of us.


This is not the way a TS individual will feel, like I said earlier we know early on in life. A gender therapist is needed and will reveal the truth for these individuals..

I disagree Marleena. I don't need a third party too tell me what I feel or am. I'm not stupid or insecure about myself. I know what I am. That's why I get irritated at folks trying to tell me, I'm this and not that or vice versa. I wasn't born yesterday.

[Marleena]

Okay at this point I will bow out (sorry). I'm using reputable resources to explain things with facts. The can of worms has been open.

[Anne Elizabeth]

To me GD is the undeniable feeling that I should be a woman, that I was born in the wrong body, the feeling of always questioning what set of clothes should I wear in the morning when I get up(as I work mostly from home and am not out to my local world), planning my day around how I dress. I have come to the realization that I cross dress when in Male Clothes. I wear what I feel are the correct clothes as much as possible to help alleviate the pain of not being the person I should be. ( know it is not about the clothes but that is my hrt right now, that is my coping mechanisn) GD is my constantly putting people aside because i feel that if they knew the real me they would hate me, or have nothing to do with me. GD is not letting people into my life because they really don't know the real me. GD is the fear I have admitting to myself that I am different form so many others and being afraid of letting those people into my life. Many times I make the comment that I don't have any friends. I now why i won't let them in for the fear of their finding out who I really am. I have only 1 true friend and that is my wife and it makes me hurt so much to have to put her through all this. Why oh why do I have to suffer so much. why can't I just have been right. GD is the inner turmoil, the battle between both my mind and heart with my body. That is what my definition of Gender Dysphoria.


Anne Elizabeth

[MysticLady]

Okay at this point I will bow out (sorry). I'm using reputable resources to explain things with facts. The can of worms has been open.

Don't go Marleena, because of you, I now have the knowledge of the GG platform, which in itself explains a lot. You see, your involvement is critical in our conversation.:hugs:


why can't I just have been right. GD is the inner turmoil, the battle between both my mind and heart with my body. That is what my definition of Gender Dysphoria.
Anne Elizabeth

Hi Anne Elizabeth

Thank You for joining our discussion. I'm so sorry for you that you feel this way about yourself. I'm happy that your wife knows about this and that your not carrying this burden on your own. I suspect, the problem you have is that you want too tell the whole world about what you are and afraid of the rejection. I know it's difficult because of other responsibilities that may keep you from doing that. If you feel this need is consuming you, then it's something that you will need to address in a manner that is healthy and satisfying too you. Only you know what responsibilities are worth sacrificing and which are not. I wish you peace of mind with all of this my friend:hugs:

[Anne Elizabeth]

Thanks MysticLady for you comments they mean a lot to me. Two to three years ago I would have quoted someone like Anne Vitale if asked "what is GD?" Today my definition stands for me and I like it because GD is a personal feeling of the one suffering. It is my experience, I own it, I understand the dissonance it creates first hand. That is why I answered it with my experience and feelings.

Anne Elizabeth

[PaulaQ]

I think quoting things out of context is unhelpful.

Although I like and mostly agree with Dr. Vitale, I don't think the inability to self-diagnose at a young age is very much of an indicator of anything in particular, other than the medical establishment doesn't want to deal with this unless you slap them across the face with the type of case that made transsexualism obvious to Dr. Benjamin in the first place. I think the point she was trying to make was that our sense of gender, whether we realize it or not, is set biologically - we can't change our minds about our gender, it is set into the architecture of our minds. This is why psychotherapy doesn't cure it, or even particularly help treat it overmuch, while hormones get the job done. Because it's biology, not psychology. I believe what she was trying to say is that this isn't a choice. (I've read the book this was taken from.)

Asking "what is gender dysphoria?" is a lot like asking the question "what is the matrix?" (In point of fact, the movie "The matrix" was in many ways a metaphor for what Lana Wachowski was going through, dealing with her transsexualism.)

The world feeling "wrong", feeling "isolated and different", feeling like your body is "wrong" are all symptoms of it. It is hard to diagnose because the symptoms can overlap with other conditions, some of which may be unrelated to, but exacerbated by, GD. For example, anxiety, depression, suicidal tendencies. Mostly, though, it's hard to diagnose because it's a medical condition that's left to psychologists and psychotherapists to diagnose. The medical community doesn't give a shit - so they don't develop tests to diagnose this because we aren't a big enough market, and a test for it hasn't fallen into their lap.

My own personal GD symptoms:
- Severe depression (I am one of many folks here who's tried to commit suicide, statistics say 1/3 of us will try it - but I think that is only correct because another 1/3 lie about trying..)
- Severe anxiety, bordering on paranoia. (This is super fun when you are trans. Because you need to be somewhat paranoid to survive - except how do I know what's realistic to worry about, and what's just paranoia? Hehe - often I don't. I have so much fun with this, I can't even begin to tell you...)
- Presenting as male doesn't just depress me, it is an almost physical sensation, like I'm wearing a leaden suit and getting kicked in the gut.
- There are all sorts of things about my body that never really seemed to bother me that much - but oh my, they sure bother me now. (Body hair is a big one for me.)
- Being treated as a female is a big damn deal to me. While I don't curl up and die like some do when they get "sirred", (it really does hurt some girls a LOT), it is plenty irritating to me all the same. (It's just less irritating than the feeling of wanting to scrape my face off while I'm presenting as a male...)
- I have ZERO sex drive. This is not to say that I don't experience the physical sensations of having a sex drive, just that they feel really disgusting, wrong, unpleasant, and unnatural. I hope someday I can enjoy sex again in some form, because right now, every time I get an erection I pretty much want to vomit.
- Sometimes, when I'm under extreme stress from GD, I hallucinate a little. (Always about my body, how I look in the mirror, stuff like that.) This has only happened a few times during my life.
- I pretty much hate myself - I feel like I am a worthless piece of shit.
- I definitely hate my body, and always have.

I've always had several of these symptoms to varying degrees, although I only put them together 5 months ago, when this really got worse, with a vengeance, really, really fast.

BTW, in my opinion, the reason most of this terminology makes no ****ing sense whatsoever is that it is literally designed to allow the maximum wiggle room for a medical establishment that mostly DOES NOT WANT to deal with us. (Not trying to dis WPATH here - they are trying, the problem is most other medical professionals don't want to treat us, and they have to deal with that reality, which gives them the following dilemma:
- call it "Gender Identity Disorder", which since it has "disorder" in the name, maybe insurance will cover it sometimes, but has the distinct downside of implying we're mentally ill.
- call it "Gender Dysphoria", which doesn't sound nearly as crazy, but nobody knows what in the hell it actually means. ("Gender Dysphoria" in my experience anyway, is like referring to an "amputation" as "a cut." Oh look - he got a little cut - only his whole arm... It is an understatement, to put it mildly.)

As for whether or not cross dressing is a sign of some type of GD, who knows? It is frequently a symptom of it, but it isn't always a symptom of it. We don't really know because nobody does serious research on this, not really. Because as little as the medical establishment cares about TS people, THEY DON'T CARE AT ALL ABOUT CROSSDRESSERS. But wait - shouldn't they care if cross dressing is a symptom of being TS sometimes? See prior statement about them not caring about TS folks either.

Just to put this in perspective - I understand physical pain really well. I was born with an orthopedic condition that has made me uncomfortable all of my life, and sometimes in real agony. (They tested me to see if my nerves worked after I woke up in a pool of my own blood from a BADLY misfit cast that had nearly sawed through a tendon. Yep - they worked fine! I just hurt all the time, so what was one more thing to complain about?) This stuff really hurt - that's my point. But at no time in my life has my discomfort or misery from it been such that I ever thought "yup, ok, I don't wanna live anymore with this - I'm killing myself." GD? There have been times where GD has made me feel like suicide was the only way to be out of my misery. It is that much worse.

BTW, everyone's experience is somewhat different, although you'll find common threads amongst us. (Hating what you see in the mirror is a real common one.) Mine is progressing super fast. Lucky me.


Don't go Marleena, because of you, I now have the knowledge of the GG platform, which in itself explains a lot. You see, your involvement is critical in our conversation

Anne Vitale is also TS. She didn't start out to treat TS patients, because she worried about projection of her own condition onto others. Thank heavens she changed her mind - we need all the help we can get. God knows there are plenty of physicians who should, ethically, care about his who just flat do not.

[Barbara Ella]

I must agree that GD is a very individualistic thing. It does involve the disconnect between mind and body, and an inability to understand or accept the differences. That is where my life has been for the past 10 months as my ability to cope with this dissonance has failed me and I have been reduced to a mutual dislike of both my mind and my body at various times. That is my GD. Having GD, to me, does not necessarily mean one is TS. I finally came to the point where I just said, there is no dissonance, i am female and screw what the body shows. Yes, HRT helps to get to this realization, and to gain a comfort level, for me.

I must disagree with the contention that TS all know from an early age. Simply not a condition, nor is it true. It is true that many TS do, and are destined to suffer for an extended period, unfortunately. However, there are so many psychological variables that can mask this feeling. I grew up hating my body because I had a physical deformity that seriously affected my outlook and what I did. This focus for my hatred, IMHO, prevented me from considering how my other actions and desires, which were decided female oriented, might fit into my being. I look back now, and am amazed at what I was thinking and doing, and I do not mean cross dressing, did not do that, but just an attraction and desire for things female.

I now know I am TS, I am a female, and just want to be as fully woman as I can be right now. It may never go beyond HRT, life will determine that, but I know the discomfort from my GD, which is still there to some extent, will be controlled by my acceptance of the totality of what I can do in the present.

Barbara

[MysticLady]

Hello All

Thank You Paula and Barbara for joining our discussion. Yes, Like I said, this is more of a personal matter than anything else. Our dynamics really affect our ability to sometimes go forward on becoming more woman than we want. Does this mean that we are not experiencing this dysphoria any less or that we are less of a transsexual than others that have gone further ahead? I don't believe so. Like I said, I feel I am a transsexual but only part time because of my dynamics and/or responsibilities, therefore I'm called a cross dresser, which I thoroughly accept. I will not try to shove my thoughts down someone's throat because they think otherwise. I am what I am and I'm content w/ myself.
When I take a shower, I sometimes sit naked on chair and cross my legs and hide my genetalia giving me the illusion of having a vagina. I feel natural and normal when I see this just as I feel natural and normal when my maleness is exposed. This does not affect my feelings either way. I enjoy both modes and am at peace with myself. I've accepted and embraced what I feel in my heart and not what's in my mind. I hope this makes some sense to some of you.

[Angela Campbell]

Julia Serano's point is that the case studies are pretty useless, since many people just told therapists what they believed the therapists wanted to hear. If the standard of care says that you have to have had these feelings forever (and if there's no way to prove that you didn't have these feelings), then of course people seeking treatment are going to SAY they had these feelings forever. Personally, I think it's not as simple as the idea that everyone who wants to transition has always felt they were in the wrong body.

The SOC says you have to have had the persistent feelings for two years, not forever.

Also keep in mind that denial is a powerful thing. Personally I knew about this since I can remember...around the age of four. I do not know about others.

[PaulaQ]

Like I said, I feel I am a transsexual but only part time because of my dynamics and/or responsibilities, therefore I'm called a cross dresser, which I thoroughly accept. ... I enjoy both modes and am at peace with myself. I've accepted and embraced what I feel in my heart and not what's in my mind. I hope this makes some sense to some of you.

Hey, this, and some other statements you've made make me wonder if what you are is what's called "GenderQueer", that is you embrace both genders about equally, or near enough to equal. (60/40 or thereabouts.) I can't say too much about this because I only know a couple of GQ people, and they have never really opened up to me about what it's like or what they experience. But I did do some research on this for myself, early on, when I hoped this might be the case for me, and obviously nobody can say what's going on with you over the internet, but this might be something for you to look into. "GenderFluid" - switching comfortably between genders, might also be the case for you.

[stefan37]

GD is the disconnect one feels between their mind and body. It can vary in intensity and my experience is that the level of intensity can change. As we grow and depending on our circumstances, we can address it at an early age or later in life. I really envy the young of today with the ease of information that is available.
Certainly had this info been available combined with today's more tolerant attitudes my life would certainly not look like it is today, and I would not forcing many people in my life to adapt to change that makes them very uncomfortable.
I can see this thread starting to devolve into another I am transsexual but I like to be male thread. I would hate to see it come to that. An individual that finds relief by cross-dressing probably suffers from some degree of dysphoria, but it is not intense enough for that individual to take the steps to physically or chemically alter their bodies to attain congruence. For those of us that the dysphoria becomes so intense we find it hard to function daily, we need to take steps to actively alter our physical and mental state through chemicals (hormones), surgeries, and legally change our names and presentation to the world. There is no going back and forth. We need to live in one gender. To live in the gender we do not identify causes anguish and pain and can manifest itself in many ways. Many as statistics show commit suicide to relieve their anguish.

I know from my experience I believe I was transsexual from an early age. I refused to believe it. I would not admit it to anyone, not even myself. I had no idea what GD was but I knew I had to mitigate my inner urges to function in a society that did not understand and I had no idea how to express my unease to anyone. I mitigated those inner urges in many ways. I would dress and pretend and when that went to the extreme and those close to me would get uncomfortable and cause conflicts, I would acquiesce and pull back and engage in activities, hobbies ( some dangerous or risky), drink and use drugs. This went on for way too many years than I would like to think. You finally get to a point where the inner urges and conflict become too much to bear and something has to give. I gave up fighting with myself. I no longer acquiesced to other but to myself. I am actively transitioning from mtf. I am taking hormones to alter my brain and body. I have received approval form the courts to legally change my name. When funds become available I will undergo surgical procedures to correct some deficiencies.
I am nothing more than a transitioner at this point in my journey. I know now what I need to feel congruent and I am actively taking action to achieve it. As I continue to move forward it not only feels right and comfortable I need more to reach that comfort level.
If you are suffering from a condition, anxiety, depression, etc. Feel you need to be a different gender than what you were biologically born. Do you things to relieve that disconnect drink, drugs, dress etc? You probably have some degree of dysphoria. Maybe dressing is enough. Maybe fluidity is enough. Maybe facial hair is enough. Maybe you need to go through all that transition entails to find relief. We all find our balance to reach the point of being comfortable. Those that cannot find their balance will be doomed to a life of unease, pain and anguish and for many suicide becomes their only option.

[MysticLady]

"GenderFluid" - switching comfortably between genders, might also be the case for you.

Hi Sweetie, I believe I've already stumbled onto this. Thank God for this forum and you all for helping me realize that this is my situation. Now, I'm Happy......YAY


Those that cannot find their balance will be doomed to a life of unease, pain and anguish and for many suicide becomes their only option.

Hi Stefan, I agree w/ you dead on. It hurts me when I read about this just destroying a person's will to live sometimes. I just want too reach out and hold them and tell them everything's going too be fine. My heart aches for them.

[Rianna Humble]

Rianna, you say the CDing is not a Dysphoria. What would you attribute CDing too? I understand that the "so Called" experts have put their ideas down and have made them a standard as WPATH has. Too me, this are humans that have theories and ideas but don't really know what it actually is. Their theories and ideas keep getting updated and changing therefore not set in stone, so to speak. I respect their opinions but they're only ideas or theories. Each individual has they're own set of dynamics in which they deal with it on their terms.

Gender Dysphoria is a psychological outworking of a biological disconnect and produces a sense of distress at the mismatch between the person's gender and their sex assigned at birth. Cross-dressing is not a form of distress, but might be used as a way to attempt to alleviate the distress. It is important not to confuse the action of cross-dressing with the distress that results from a birth defect.

Transsexuality is a birth defect, but the resultant distress may often be manageable until much later in life. Even to such an extent that some transsexuals do not recognise symptoms from their earlier life even with the benefit of hindsight.

You are right that the WPATH professionals are humans, but in my not so humble opinion, you are wrong that they do not know what this distress is and what causes it.

[Alex R]

Hello All

.... Does this mean that we are not experiencing this dysphoria any less or that we are less of a transsexual than others that have gone further ahead? I don't believe so. Like I said, I feel I am a transsexual but only part time because of my dynamics and/or responsibilities....

I raised a similar point here.

I still don't think it's about what you do, rather it's ultimately about how you feel.

[MysticLady]

Gender Dysphoria is a psychological outworking of a biological disconnect and produces a sense of distress at the mismatch between the person's gender and their sex assigned at birth. Cross-dressing is not a form of distress, but might be used as a way to attempt to alleviate the distress.

I can see that your conclusions seem to revolve around a distress. So, A true transsexual is distressed at the fact that they don't have a GG's body to match their (mentality?) where a CD does it to alleviate distress from society or whatever. Since we both experience a distress, because of one thing or another, is there really any difference between us because of how we as an individual decide or are able to handle it? I decide I dress and feel like a Lady and a transsexual decides she wants to be Lady.

I see no difference in our thought processes except the fact that as a "CD" I enjoy both worlds. Wouldn't the best of both worlds be more reasonable than the best of one? Thank You for your thoughts Rianna.


I raised a similar point here.
feel.

I click on the Link sweetie and all I got was this.. This user has not registered and therefore does not have a profile to view.:idontknow:

[Rianna Humble]

Victoria, the distress to which I refer is the translation of the word dysphoria. There is no similarity between a cross-dresser dressing to relieve the stresses of the day and someone who suffers from Gender Dysphoria.

Cross-dressers decide to dress and try to look like a lady, an MtF transsexual does not "decide that she wants to be a lady" she is born female with a birth defect linked to her endocrine system. By trivialising both the notion of Gender Dysphoria and the living hell that an MtF transsexual goes through, you show that you have absolutely not conception of what we experience.

I hope that you never have to experience it first hand.

[stefan37]

If you truly suffer from GD and dressing alleviates that distress then you are very lucky. However you have no plans to physically or chemically alter your body. After dressing you got your fix "playing lady" as you put it and go back to living and functioning as a male. A transsexual feels is distressed because there is a disconnect between their mind and body. Dressing does not relieve the distress. The only way to alleviate the distress is to alter the body to match the mind. "Playing lady" as you put it will not do anything to help a transsexual. If we were abler to live as both then we would not be transsexual then would we? There is no going back and forth, because we are not male and female, but female and we need to live as female, interact with the world as female, work as female, relate to others intimately as female. There is a distinct difference between a transsexual and a gender fluid individual. That is why there is so much disagreement between those that need to transition and those that can interact as a woman, but go back to living as male. This thread is dangerously close to getting into an argument that I feel I am a woman, but do not want to take action, but I identify as transsexual.

I get what Rianna is getting at because I am there also, as are many others that need to transition. It is not an option we can just attempt on a lark. Crossdressers may very well be distressed and suffer from GD, but the intensity is so low that dressing or other forms of expression are enough. They may be gender fluid or gender queer. A transsexual feels that distress so strongly they have no choice but transition or there lives will either be in constant anguish and pain, continually fighting with themselves, negotiating with themselves, or not be worth living.

We see post after post from members truly suffering from GD and needing to transition at some level, but for their own reasons can't or won't. They do not just once but post continuously about how their lives suck and how unbearable it is to be them. That is how strong that disconnect is that to do nothing causes extreme anguish and pain. It is horrible to see that and as humans we can have only empathy for them. A crossdresser does not suffer that anguish continuously. They start to suffer, they dress, wa la crisis over. I wish it could that simple. If I could only just dress to relieve my suffering my marriage would not be dissolving and I could avoid all the negative crap associated with transition.

Maybe at some point your gd will reach a crescendo and your only option will be to transition. At that time you will understand what we are speaking of.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

......
I see no difference in our thought processes except the fact that as a "CD" I enjoy both worlds. Wouldn't the best of both worlds be more reasonable than the best of one? Thank You for your thoughts Rianna.


You see no difference because you don't know what a transsexual is

I truly am happy for you that you can enjoy the "best of both worlds" and I can accept that you like to fantasize that you are transsexual, but its obvious that you come from the perspective of not really being interested in transsexuals as much as trying to convince them that you are just like them

[MysticLady]

I hope that you never have to experience it first hand.

Thank You Rianna, I don't believe I ever will and I have someone to thank for that as I explained in my PM too you.



Maybe at some point your gd will reach a crescendo and your only option will be to transition. At that time you will understand what we are speaking of.

Thank You Stefan, I feel for you in your situation but, I will never experience the miserable feelings you all have because I'm well protected from that. I just experience life w/ an upmost happiness and I want it to stay that way. I appreciate your thoughts.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

I have no idea why you are here..

you are well protected??? here's the only protection. NOT being a transsexual.

Do you not think transsexuals that transition do not experience life with the upmost happiness?? GD doesn't allow that..

Is is fun to stand on your perch whipping it out and peeing on all the poor suffering transsexuals that just "don't get it" because they are different than you?

[Rianna Humble]

This thread appears to have only one object - to stir up problems amongst this community. It stops here.