Dressed up and spent the evening with my wife

[Stephy]

Tonight I finally got to dress up and spend time with my wife. It felt so good and relaxing. I have been buying items of clothing, accessories and makeup over the past weeks, but hadn't yet had an opportunity to dress. I hinted during the week that I would like to dress up at the weekend. When the boys went to bed, I got in the shower. My wife asked me why I was showering as I normally shower in the morning, so I said I was thinking of dressing up and wanted to be clean. She said ok, just wait 10 minutes until the boys are asleep. She was quite ok with it. I waited a while and when she was happy they were asleep, I suggested she come chat with me in the bathroom while I did my makeup. She came and chatted and even gave me a few tips! She then went and rested on the bed while I put on my wig and got into my lingerie, skirt, top, stockings and high heels in the bathroom and picked up my new handbag. When I came out she said my wig looked quite good. She also complimented me on my choice of handbag. I paraded around in front of the mirror admiring myself for a bit - I just couldn't resist! :) Then we just sat together and chatted - at first about crossdressing, then fashion and eventually just everyday stuff. It felt so good to be able to express my feminine side and be accepted by my wife. She also showed an interest in finding out more about CDing and she browsed a few of the posts on this forum. Tonight was a great step forward for both of us.

[MysticLady]

Wow, Stephy

What a 180 the wife did. This is sure a long way from "nail polish freakout". I guess, some GG's do learn and are tolerating. I wish mine would come around. All I ever wanted too do was just what you both did. Talk. In my fem self w/ her. Thank You Mrs Stephy, for showing the GG spouses how it's done. Kudos to both of you.:hugs:

[Beverley Sims]

Stephy,
Wonderful for you, I would still proceed slowly and if she shows any reticence in what you are doing just back off a little and come back when the mood changes.
Glad things are going in a positive direction.
If she is watching you reply to something on the forum just pick the tasteful replies whilst she is showing interest. :)

[kimdl93]

its great to get past the elephant in the room and to just live life with your SO

[Stephy]

Wow, Stephy

What a 180 the wife did. This is sure a long way from "nail polish freakout". I guess, some GG's do learn and are tolerating. I wish mine would come around. All I ever wanted too do was just what you both did. Talk. In my fem self w/ her. Thank You Mrs Stephy, for showing the GG spouses how it's done. Kudos to both of you.:hugs:

I think she was accepting because it was confined to our bedroom and so she was able to make sure nobody else saw me. Also because I had let her know what I was planning in advance. I realise now that the nail polish freak out was because it was a complete surprise and the fear that others would see and judge me and the family by association.

The compliments she gave me were quite unexpected though, and were a real boost to my self-esteem!

Hugs
Steffi

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Stephy, The ball is in her court now just go slow and don't overwhelm her.
Follow her lead for now.

[DonnaA]

Hi Stephy. You are so lucky that your wife accepted you "dressed", even if it was just a little bit and under very controlled circumstances. Congratulations.

Blue's post makes a lot of sense to me. I think you should let her make the next move. But she may just "blow it off" or ignore it, thinking that you will change, or that you will "stop this nonsense", or that it is "just a passing thing". Women are good for that. From my experience, generally speaking, women are not as confrontational as men. They have a hard time being blunt with their husbands/boyfriends. They tend to be evasive. (I know, my "dates from hell" experiences are showing here. I've had more than my fair share of bad experiences with women that I wanted to have relationships with. Are all women "nuts", or is it just me? It seems to me that they are all "loony", one more loonier than the other. And just try to get a simple piece of information out of them. I know. I'm ranting.:)) If a few weeks go by without any input from her, maybe you can just casually ask her how she felt about "that night".

By the way, I've noticed many CDers on this site who are married and who obviously did not tell their wives before they were married about their desire to crossdress. How common is this? Do other members think this is the "proper" thing to do? When is the appropriate time to tell?

[Shellycd12]

That is awesome. I love this story. Wish my wife is as understanding. Good for both of you.

Stay beautiful,

Shelly

[Christine.Lolita]

Excellent story. Having an understanding wife really make a big diiference.

[litlejohn]

I'm truly blessed as are you to have a SO willing to be and let us be who we are. I'm still working on who and how far I'm taking my fem side. She is still figuring it out with me, thankfully I'm not alone I have a wonderful partner with me. I (we?) will always want more, clothes, experiences. So long as we include them in what we are thinking they will be a lot closer to us than making them guess.
I kept what I was doing away from her for years, my habit didn't rule me, but since I've come out to her it is so much more injoyable. I'm beyond lucky, not all of us have it this good.
I know it has been said countless times but communication is the most important thing in any relationship.

[Jolene Robertson]

Hi Stephy,

Great story! Thanks for the up-date. Genuinely happy for you and your wife, it is no small thing to have acceptance.



For Donna,

"By the way, I've noticed many CDers on this site who are married and who obviously did not tell their wives before they were married about their desire to crossdress. How common is this? Do other members think this is the "proper" thing to do? When is the appropriate time to tell?"

No I do not think it is the proper thing to do! But speaking for myself, I was so ashamed of it and where it might lead I never told her directly. But when she noticed some of the clothes I was wearing and my hair getting longer she asked and I owned up to it. Things have been much better since then.

When is it appropriate to tell? That is the million dollar question! When you find an exact answer to that, write a book. You'll never have to work again IMHO.

Hugs
Jolene

[stefan37]

When is it appropriate to tell? That is the million dollar question! When you find an exact answer to that, write a book. You'll never have to work again IMHO.



It is not that hard or complicated. You tell the person you want to marry before you get married that you cross dress if it is something you need to do. I told 3 girls I was dating when I thought we would be serious. I knew it was a part of me I would be able to not do. I told my wife 3 dates into our relationship. We have been together 33 +years, married for 30.

[MysticLady]

How common is this? Do other members think this is the "proper" thing to do? When is the appropriate time to tell?



When is it appropriate to tell? That is the million dollar question! When you find an exact answer to that, write a book. You'll never have to work again IMHO.
Hugs
Jolene


I told my wife 3 dates into our relationship. We have been together 33 +years, married for 30.

Well, I think that the perfect time to tell her is when she is in that "lovey dovey" stage where you do no wrong and are the greatest person on the face of the earth:heehee:. If you wait until after the "lovey dovey" stage, then she'll have her brain back and then start analyzing everything:doh:

Ok, now you all can mail me a check too the address provided:D

[Stephy]

Stephy,
Wonderful for you, I would still proceed slowly and if she shows any reticence in what you are doing just back off a little and come back when the mood changes.
Glad things are going in a positive direction.
If she is watching you reply to something on the forum just pick the tasteful replies whilst she is showing interest. :)

This is very good advice. The day after I dressed up, she was getting irritated with me over small things and when I asked her if something was wrong, she said that the night before had been emotionally traumatic for her. Either she kept it well hidden at the time or I am not good at picking up on this. Today we are going clothes shopping (for her) at the mall. I am going to do my best not to look at anything for myself and focus on her for the day. Baby steps are needed I think.

Fortunately, I feel quite satisfied that I have been able to dress up and the urge to dress has subsided for now. I am quite happy to be in guy mode again.

Hugs
Steffi

[Stevie]

Be careful women hide their feelings well. Like Bev said take it slow.

[Sarah Beth]

Sounds like you had a lovely evening. The fact that she took a bit of time to explore in the forum sounds promising. I talke to my wife a joing the forum to get a better understanding but she declines to even look.

[Bree Wagner]

Tonight was a great step forward for both of us.

Wonderful! Sometimes there are just those moments where everything comes together and you're able to make those big leaps. Sure sounds like that was the case for you this night. Good luck from here!

-Bree