I dont want to crossdress any more.

[Erica Marie]

No this is not another "purge" thread. But maybe more of a tg issue.

Have any of you girls here ever gotten to the point where dressing didnt seem to matter so much as just being able to be yourself? For me starting out as a young age dressing was a sexual release. As I grew older it was dressing to feel feminine. Now I just want to be me, not quite sure if that is male or female. But I feel more of me is female. So then the cloths well they just follow along. Its the whole "society expects" thing. If I am a male Im suppose to wear male cloths. If I am a female I can wear anything I want, tom boy during the day and lady by night. I see myself as a tom boy. A male trapped.

[Nicole Brown]

hmmm, interesting take on it Erica. Much as you, I began dressing and continued to dress because I was drawn to the softness and silkiness of female attire. Today I just dress as me and wear the clothing that is associated with being a full time pre op transsexual woman.

[Angela Campbell]

I spent most of my life dressing in secret, I was searching for something, a way to make all of this go away and sometimes I felt better when I wore the clothes. The problem was that eventually this didn't help anymore and things started escalating.

It is kind of like when as a child you clean your room by putting stuff under the bed and in the closet. At first it makes things easy and it all appears to be better. You know it isn't right but you do it because it is easier. You keep doing that and eventually problems start. You look for something and cannot find it because it is under a pile in the closet (you think) and the room to stuff things out of site is filling up and there is no longer anywhere to put it all....things are piling up and eventually there is a big mess to deal with and it is almost unmanageable.

So what to do? You can run away and go to a new room. Of course when things start piling up you stick it in the closet....it keeps going on and on and eventually something has to give. You cannot find anything, stuff is all over the place, you have run out of rooms to hide stuff in and no one knows or will understand.

[Raychel]

I suppose there comes a time in everyone life, when you just have to accept yourself for who you are.
I still call it cross-dressing, but it is really just how I feel most comfortable. Just happens to be in women's clothes.
It still has the label, because the world has not total accepted it as just a form of dressing how you like.

So I am very close to the edge of not crossdressing any more, most everyone know here and soon, I will be showing
my true self to everyone. Then it will be just dressing how I like.

[kimdl93]

So are you're saying that you've grown so comfortable with your female essence that wearing female clothes online feels like cross dressing? That seems pretty legitimate to me.

[Jenniferathome]

Erica, I have always thought that once I was dressing on a more regular basis, it just became "normal" as opposed to taboo. For certain, I am not a male trapped.

[Dana L]

I totally understand. I'm the same way, I just want to be me. Had I been 5'7" and 120lb's my life would have changed a long time ago. It didn't and I'm 6'2" and 190 so I stay trapped in this male body wishing I was and trying to be female, but knowing it'll never be a reality.

[UNDERDRESSER]

Interesting thread, will come back to this later to say more.

Yes, it is much less, almost not at all about the sexual feelings, except in the most indirect way. Is it about, or was it ever about, feeling feminine? Yes......kinda, but I don't accept what society defines as masculine or feminine any more.

I don't think of myself as a crossdresser so much now. I still plan to do a complete makeover sometime, just to see what it looks and feels like. For now though, I wear panties, I like the look and feel, I would almost, be as happy in briefs designed for men, if they I could find ones that have the same look and feel, and they didn't cost 3 times as much. I wear a skirt around the home, and want to wear one further afield, even to work. Again, a kilt would be almost as nice, if it fitted in a similar way, and suited me, and it didn't cost 10 times as much as a thrift shop skirt.

Why? Why not? Why can't I do that as a man? What's wrong with feeling sleek, and comfy, and showing off my legs? Why do I have to dress up as a woman to do these things?

No reason, that's why.

[Beverley Sims]

When young and starting out all mixed feelings come into play, you really do not knoe what you are or why the strange feelings.
Think about your situation and ask questions you will have it all become clearer.

[Frédérique]

I dont want to crossdress any more. Now I just want to be me, not quite sure if that is male or female. But I feel more of me is female. So then the cloths well they just follow along. Its the whole "society expects" thing. If I am a male Im suppose to wear male cloths.

Crossdressing can be a drag, no pun intended, but it helps to express something that MUST be expressed. I know my place in society, and I know my surroundings, so I will not be rocking the boat anytime soon – it’s not in my nature. I would rather do as best I can under the restrictive circumstances we find ourselves in. I wish it wasn’t like this – I wish I could go forth in my chosen outfits, remain close to my birth gender, and not be bothered. I know myself, so I make no assumptions about what I must be, based on the clothes I choose to wear. Alas, few people are prepared to follow suit, and I must crossdress, rather than dress as I like…

PS – I love your avatar, Erica! Very demure. Your lovely dress looks like something I would like to wear…:battingeyelashes:

[docrobbysherry]

U can call it, "crossdressing". U can call it, "being who u r". U can call it a, "life style". U can call it a, "hobby". Heck! U can call it, "golfing" if u like!

But, most folks will call it "a guy in a dress"!

[Kate Simmons]

If we get to the point where the clothes, etc. are no longer a "big deal", it becomes less of an affectation and becomes more about who we are.:)

[Stephanie47]

I'll agree to the point that the clothes just follow along. Personally, I'm feel the need to be be en femme less and less. Why? I don't know. Since I stopped trying to analyze why I cross dress at all, why try to figure out my decreased desire? I go with the flow. Why I have the need to be en femme, it's a dress dress, heels, and everything else to enable Stephanie to flourish. When the male side wants to dominate, it's all the trappings of maleness. I guess the entire issue is akin to those surveys that runs the gambit of one to ten. Sometimes the fulcrum is not set at a five.

[Rachel Morley]

Have any of you girls here ever gotten to the point where dressing didn't seem to matter so much as just being able to be yourself?
I think I understand what you're saying. In the past I wasn't sure where I was. I kinda knew I was (genetically anyway) male, but I only liked to do things that were typically considered "girly" which includes the types of clothes I like to wear. All I knew was that I was different than my (male) friends (everyone thinks you must be gay) so I totally get the whole "society expects" thing. Yeah, "male tomboy" ... I get it. Gender expectations by society in general are a real pain in the ass.

[Eryn]

...If I am a female I can wear anything I want...


A rather large oversimplification! While their choices are greater than men's, women have a societal dress code that is far more complex. Some items cannot be worn with others or in certain ways. Colors and patterns have to work with each other. Many women are very sensitive to this and non-conformers are observed with behind-the-back statements like "Can you bee-leeve what she's wearing?!"

I think that those of us who go out frequently do get to a point where the mechanics of dressing can be viewed as a bit of a bother. Having to put an outfit together, apply makep, etc requires effort and sometimes the energy isn't there. Like a GG, I still do it, sometimes relying on a "go-to" combination that has worked before. Once out the door I never have regretted it!

[Joanne f]

Hello Erica Marie,
how are you , I will admit that I was once one of those who have said that clothes are just clothes and I wear them just because I like them but then you realise that you wear them because of what they represent , your feminine side, then you can get to a point when you realise that you do not need the clothes to be in touch with your feminine side and that is when the " I want to be me " hits you , you start to wonder " what am I " a male who likes feminine clothes or a female struggling to get out , I often wonder if the only answer to that is if you feel what is the most important to you the clothes or the body , when you have the answer to that then you can start on knowing what you are , but I must admit that this way of life can be pretty confusing at times .

[Erica Marie]

Gender expectations by society in general are a real pain in the ass.
Thank you Rachel. I think you hit it on the head. What if there was no gender. No male, no female. And we all were just "ourselves". Not what we are dressed as, not how we are perceived,but just people.
What I am saying is I dont need a dress to feel female. Just because I am wearing boys cloths, does it make me a boy? Ggs wear boys cloths and they are still girls, hence the tom-boy feeling. Just because I was born with a, well you know, does it really make me male?

[Taylor Ray]

During the week I often get home late, shower, and put on some women's casual/comfy clothes. For the most part some of the items don't even really look like women's clothing. On the weekend I enjoy going the whole nine yards with shoes and makeup and wig. I often wonder why I still wear the casual clothes during the week that are women's but don't make me look like a woman.

Since there is a whole range of different types of people who cross dress, it seems to be a very personal issue. Being at home in a private situation, they really are just clothes.