MysticLady
08-12-2013, 12:21 PM
As far as the title, sorry. I swear I proof read this and it still came out flugged up. I think the website need some work saving stuff as written:heehee:
And Men will become Lovers of Self..........Good shall be seen as evil and evil shall seen as Good.
Hello All
As many of you may be familiar w/ my Drama, a lot of you may not be. I am a man that is experiencing life and sometime jot down my "episodes" in the hopes that others may take something from them and utilize them in a way that hopefully improves or brings them a little a little "peace of mind". I believe I may have reached a pinnacle or maybe a crossroads that has made me pause and think about "my" life. In my struggles w/ the total rejection of this CDing from my wife, I'm starting to wonder and maybe realize that she in fact does "really" Love me by putting her foot down. She most adamantly tells me she does not and will never accept this of me. In my whining about it too you all(sorry:heehee:) I was not seeing the truth and really of it all.
What it boils down too is......My self admiration or My Family.
I've realized that self admiration is and can become very additive even too a point of sacrificing what is really important just any other addition. Some say, that I am gorgeous, beautiful, passable and so forth. Are these comments feeding my fire of self admiration? What about the ones that "feel" that they are not beautiful? Am I just another someone that they aspire too look like just like the tabloids at the supermarket check out isles? I feel awful for making someone feel that way about themselves. I suspect this this a problem with both GM's and GG's. Is when someone feels that they are just not beautiful enough for themselves or society that they reach the point of disparity to where the only way out is suicide in order not to feel the pain and hurt that comes from it? I am beautiful, not because of the clothing I donne but, because God and my wife have told me so. That's all I need to be comfortable and happy about myself.
I believe this Pinnacle that I'm at and the pause is like looking, at "my" choices and they all look downhill from here regarding this phenomenon. I look back and see the house on the cliff that I have left behind and I think it's time too turn back and start the uphill climb back home. I don't think I am talking about a Purge but a change of Heart. The so called "purge" will be the struggle of climbing back home and I'm very sure that I'll pause and look back and wonder if I should just take the easy road and start back downhill again. It will be difficult but, my reward awaits me back Home.
This is an experience that I'll just add to my "belt" of life. This will be a gradual climb w/ flat spots along the way which may be the looking in the mirror and just seeing the exterior but it doesn't show me my interior. My interior is only seen by a very few which is God and my family. Eventually, I will reach my destination and will use this as an experience that I will always remember. I also realize that once back, The gate to my once home will be locked, forever. I will see this as a consequence of my decision. But, the only Hope I have is My Trust in God. Unfortunately, I will eventually leave this Forum as part of this experience and the people I have met here and friends that I have made will sadden me since I will lose contact with eventually. I most truly appreciate all of you, even the ones that disagree w/ me:heehee: and give me a hard time. You all have been instrumental in me realizing this and have helped me see this in a new light. As I start my journey back, I can't tell you how long it'll take me and I will continue to visit and share life w/ you.
Another thing that I am realizing is that, this art of making oneself beautiful with aides of cosmetics and/or clothing, does belong to the GG's for some reason or another. I can't explain it. I realized that outdoing a GG in beauty is really very easy for me, not that I'm being conceited but, that I see the effort and troublesome time it takes too make themselves beautiful and that I don't want too waste my time doing that, everyday. Yet, a woman does it like clockwork and sees it as a necessity. So, that may be one of the reasons I feel that it belongs too them.
So..................These are thoughts as of now and I thought I would share them w/ you. I'm not one for long posts and rants and I apologize if you fell asleep part way:heehee:. I'm sure more thoughts will come thoughout the day and I will just add on too make this post even longer:doh:.
I truly appreciate of all you, as you have helped me "see" this as just "another experience" in life, while on this Rock.
And Men will become Lovers of Self..........Good shall be seen as evil and evil shall seen as Good.
Hello All
As many of you may be familiar w/ my Drama, a lot of you may not be. I am a man that is experiencing life and sometime jot down my "episodes" in the hopes that others may take something from them and utilize them in a way that hopefully improves or brings them a little a little "peace of mind". I believe I may have reached a pinnacle or maybe a crossroads that has made me pause and think about "my" life. In my struggles w/ the total rejection of this CDing from my wife, I'm starting to wonder and maybe realize that she in fact does "really" Love me by putting her foot down. She most adamantly tells me she does not and will never accept this of me. In my whining about it too you all(sorry:heehee:) I was not seeing the truth and really of it all.
What it boils down too is......My self admiration or My Family.
I've realized that self admiration is and can become very additive even too a point of sacrificing what is really important just any other addition. Some say, that I am gorgeous, beautiful, passable and so forth. Are these comments feeding my fire of self admiration? What about the ones that "feel" that they are not beautiful? Am I just another someone that they aspire too look like just like the tabloids at the supermarket check out isles? I feel awful for making someone feel that way about themselves. I suspect this this a problem with both GM's and GG's. Is when someone feels that they are just not beautiful enough for themselves or society that they reach the point of disparity to where the only way out is suicide in order not to feel the pain and hurt that comes from it? I am beautiful, not because of the clothing I donne but, because God and my wife have told me so. That's all I need to be comfortable and happy about myself.
I believe this Pinnacle that I'm at and the pause is like looking, at "my" choices and they all look downhill from here regarding this phenomenon. I look back and see the house on the cliff that I have left behind and I think it's time too turn back and start the uphill climb back home. I don't think I am talking about a Purge but a change of Heart. The so called "purge" will be the struggle of climbing back home and I'm very sure that I'll pause and look back and wonder if I should just take the easy road and start back downhill again. It will be difficult but, my reward awaits me back Home.
This is an experience that I'll just add to my "belt" of life. This will be a gradual climb w/ flat spots along the way which may be the looking in the mirror and just seeing the exterior but it doesn't show me my interior. My interior is only seen by a very few which is God and my family. Eventually, I will reach my destination and will use this as an experience that I will always remember. I also realize that once back, The gate to my once home will be locked, forever. I will see this as a consequence of my decision. But, the only Hope I have is My Trust in God. Unfortunately, I will eventually leave this Forum as part of this experience and the people I have met here and friends that I have made will sadden me since I will lose contact with eventually. I most truly appreciate all of you, even the ones that disagree w/ me:heehee: and give me a hard time. You all have been instrumental in me realizing this and have helped me see this in a new light. As I start my journey back, I can't tell you how long it'll take me and I will continue to visit and share life w/ you.
Another thing that I am realizing is that, this art of making oneself beautiful with aides of cosmetics and/or clothing, does belong to the GG's for some reason or another. I can't explain it. I realized that outdoing a GG in beauty is really very easy for me, not that I'm being conceited but, that I see the effort and troublesome time it takes too make themselves beautiful and that I don't want too waste my time doing that, everyday. Yet, a woman does it like clockwork and sees it as a necessity. So, that may be one of the reasons I feel that it belongs too them.
So..................These are thoughts as of now and I thought I would share them w/ you. I'm not one for long posts and rants and I apologize if you fell asleep part way:heehee:. I'm sure more thoughts will come thoughout the day and I will just add on too make this post even longer:doh:.
I truly appreciate of all you, as you have helped me "see" this as just "another experience" in life, while on this Rock.