Right Fit

[Nikki A.]

Today we went to a local outlet mall with the family. My wife and I went to a hanes bali outlet(the kids waited outside). Picked out some hanes panties and trouser socks for my self (no embarassment on my part) since my wife was also shopping. The problem was that I also wanted to pick up a bra that really fits properly but the wife kind of just ignored my hints. Obviously she knows, but really does not understand or accept it. If I go to these stores by myself and say it is for me how do you think based on your experiences do you think I'll be treated. Your feedback would be appreciated.

Would I be better off going to an outlet store or try to find a smaller privately owned store (like there are many of them left). I am getting bolder (even went to a shoe store way out of town and tried on shoes, nothing rang my chimes but it was a start, said it was for Halloween) and if I ever get the make-up down I would love to try going out dressed completely. Luckily my wfe has outfits that fit although she gets creeped out if I borrow.

[Wenda]

I have found if you are reasonably casual and secure, people just take it in stride. I have found some nice things at liquidators, and they usually don't have a lot of staff hovering around. yesterday, I found four tops, and normally I just buy them and ask if I can return them if they aren't right. (maybe implies I am on an errand for someone?)Anyway, for some reason, I decided to take them to the dressing room. A young guy was staffing the dressing counter. Damn! for some reason I am more comfy with women than men. Today I bought two bras and a girdle at WalMart. Didn't try them on, and the girdle and one bra have to go back. The older lady at the cash register was a bit flustered. The more practice you have, the easier it gets. Also, I usually only buy one or two items at a time. If you are uncomfy, pick up some generic stuff, like socks or screwdrivers or whatever as well. When the lingerie is only one of five or six items, it doesn't seem to scream as loudly.
I wouldn't expect your wife to buy stuff for you. That is really going the extra mile. happy shopping. Wenda.

[NewShy21NJmtf]

Victoria's Secret is awesome when it comes to helping us girls out! You can check out my other threads on my experiences there, all wonderful. It is of course quite pricey, but the service is well worth it. They have sales twice a year in January and June. Also, if you're a really poor college student like me, go in and get measured, and get all the advice you need and then go buy cheap bras from K-mart. I felt really bad doing this, but VS does have quite a bit of my money already, and I'm sure I've thrown some business their way from this forum, and I know when I can afford it, I will get an Angel's credit card, so I can shop their more often and earn rewards!!

Stephanie

[Shinya]

Don't be skitish about it. Be confident and act like you have done it many times before. You will go pretty much unchallenged by sales people or clerks.

I'm not going to say that those people won't talk amongest them themselves, but it won't go much outside of the store. So if your in a big metro, shop for your needs without the fear or being found out by the ones that you don't want to know.

The staff of the store have to treat you with respect. I don't think they will tell every person that comes though the store what just happened 10 minutes after you walk out the door either, They could get them selves fired.

If you are in a small town, head the the big city metro area. You will figure out what stores are going to treat you good and the ones that won't.

Myself, I buy in drab all the time. When I ask for help with something, I get the who is this going to before. I just say it is for me. I'll get a smile. Maybe they might think its funny, but will not laff at me, cause they have to respect the customer. I like to think that it is more of, wow he's not afriad to do what he does.

Just do it, have a good time with who you are.


Shinya


Extra thought;

How many men work in the womens department, unless his name was Al and he worked in the womens shoe depatment.

[crispy]

Who's going to challenge you?

The worst that can happen is that the clerk might give you a strange look. Is she better than you in some way? Of course not. Ignore it.

When I started I just queued up in the check out line, hiding my purchase under something else, then placed it on the counter and avoided eye contact with the clerk. :o

Now I just smile and lay it out confidently. The more confident you seem the less chance of any embarrassment. :)

YOU ARE NOT DOING ANYTHING WRONG. Just be a brazen hussy like me. ;)

Hopefully you go to an outlet where nobody knows you, so there's absolutely no damage done.

[Alayna]

I agree that the best way is to just do it, although I usually can't even go in a store staffed by men - let alone try something on. Aside from that, I've gone into the dressing rooms with everything from formal gowns to sexy lingerie (not all lingerie can be taken in though - sanitary issues). If you can, stick to department stores and check the clearance racks. I've found that the best place for lingerie is JC Penney, the best for formal wear and dresses is Dillard's (especially in juniors).

For everyday stuff like skirts, jeans, tops, etc, just check the local chains and outlets. Ross is the biggest one, I find all kinds of stuff for dirt cheap there, though you usually have to sort through a lot of crap that makes you wonder what fashion designers are thinking:rolleyes: . Wetseal, Charlotte Russe, Fashion Bug, Victoria's Secret... Essentially the mall stores will have at least something that catches your eye.

I'd say 95% of the time, the clerks react to my request in the same way they would to a woman - after all, you are a potential sale! Most seem to act like they help CD's on a daily basis. Every once in a while I'll run into the "which dressing room" problem, and I'll have to either wait or go to a men's dressing room - but I can only think of 2 times that that's happened in a year and a half. The absolute worst time was at a mall store for teens and the girl (emphasis girl - no more than 16yrs old) asked me if I was gay when I bought the items I tried on...When I said "no" she asked "are you sure?", but that's just teenage ignorance.

If you're still nervous you could go to Fredericks of Hollywood. They cater specifically to CD's and even go through a training program on how to help us when they get hired (apparantly Victoria's Secret has the same thing). The only problem is that their stores carry only lingerie, and it's usually very ****ty and doesn't give a man much "coverage". It's also pretty crappy quality given the outrageous prices they charge! BTW, stay away from Foley's (except their juniors dept) unless your going for the "I'm 75 years old and have too much money and too little fashion sense" look.:D

[Sarah38b]

I am wondering if places would turn you down for trying on lingerie and other womens clothing in the fitting room? I haven't had a probelm yet. Usually I will try a bra or a skirt on when the fitting room station is unmanned. I have not done it at Wal-Mart yet, kinda nervous about that one because they usually have old ladies there and them being old fashioned, I'm not sure how that would work out. I have slipped into the K-Mart fitting rooms though, There usually isn't anybody there. I don't really understand womens sizes. They are way different from men sizes and I don't know how to convert man sizes to woman sizes. So trial and error is a must to ensure a proper fit at the fitting rooms.

Sarah

[joesephine]

Just went thru meijers, saleslady spotted me looking at womens dresses, CAN I HELP YOOOUUUU, "I'm looking for womens business suits for me on hallowen" IM SORRY I CANT HELP YOU WITH THAT, she turned beet red and walked away, me too.

At the shoestore was less a problem, other then my large feet.

Joesephine

[JoannaDees]

Yes, just browse and confidently lay them on the counter. When asked for help finding something a smile and no thanks works. I did that at Mervyn's just last weekend. Plopped a load of nighties and skirts and tops on the counter. Just standing there with head held high, no embarassed body language. And then, who walks up to the counter, but a woman I know from work, one I exchange glances a lot (she dresses really sharp every day) and that sure turned up the adrenaline!!! :p

[Alayna]

Usually I will try a bra or a skirt on when the fitting room station is unmanned.
Sarah
Not a good idea! If the person manning the booths suddenly sees a man walk out of the women's dressing room, regardless if you have an armful of clothes or not, you can get in BIG trouble. You can get banned from the store (labeled as a pervert) or worse, even arrested. The chances of this happening are pretty slim, but I don't even mess with it. If I want to try something on, I casually (but somewhat discreetly to save them some potential embarrassment) ask if I can use the fittiing room. I don't specify which one so ultimately it's their choice as to whether or not they put you in the ladies' room.

Josephine, that sales lady sounds like a freakin' idiot. I don't know how conservative of a store Meijors is, but at most places that's the kind of thing that can get a sales person fired! I've been in sales for... well, too long, and one thing I've learned is that unless the customer is doing something wrong (being belligerent/degrading, trying to pull a scam) you don't make them feel uncomfortable, NO MATTER WHAT.

Interestingly enough, some places go so far with their cust svc policies that uncomfortable is exactly how they make me feel. I think Best Buy has a new policy that all their employees must ask every customer that they walk by if they're finding everything all right. I was looking at CD's a while ago, and in 15 minutes I was asked that question 8 or 9 times by 5 employees. They made me feel like they were "keeping an eye on me" and discouraging me from stealing something!!!! Fortunately I haven't seen this while clothes shopping, but damn! That would put the red on my cheeks after a while if it happened.

[Felicity]

I have found once I was more comfortable shopping that some clerks will invite you to try things on. I have been on a mission to find some really tight control garments. I simply tell clerks what I'm looking for. They will often take me to a rack, show me an item or to and actually ask me if I want to try it.

Some places and some clerks do not want anything to do with CD's. However, most accept us as another customer.