One more person knows...

[Dianne S]

My wife and I have started couples' counselling. We met together with the therapist once, and then she is meeting with us individually once each before resuming joint sessions.

Well, today was my one-on-one session and I told the therapist that I cross-dress. I was very nervous, but she took it in stride and was absolutely non-judgemental. Talked a little about it and then moved on.

I would still never come out to my kids or co-workers, but it is actually quite nice having some more people I can share my secret with.

[kimdl93]

I had a similar experience with my therapist. We did talk a good long while about my CDing and my gender identification. At first, she was clearly trying to help me relax and feel comfortable with talking about my proclivities. But later, over a period of weeks, she helped me dig a little deeper - past the usual rationalizations, like "I just really admire women" or "the stockings feel so good" to explore the underlying motivation. Till then, I was pretty sure that I was a hopelessly corrupted pervert. Turns out I was a run of the mill transgendered person, and to my surprise, it was neither a crime nor something to feel ashamed about.

[Beverley Sims]

In order to give advice and help, you will find that your therapist is a good listener and will give considered answers at the end of a session.
Counseling students is similar.
Let them pour their heart out, vent and tell you about money troubles there are many.. then you consider it all and give advice on what you have been told.
Show empathy but advise accordingly.

[Stephanie47]

I hope your couples counseling works out. The only time I think couples counseling works is when both spouses approach it with an open mind and explore both spouse's issues. My wife and I went to couple's counseling for an issue that has absolutely nothing to do with cross dressing. I found my wife used it to dump all the ills of a marriage on me. She refused to acknowledge any of her issues, which predated our relationship. When she told me in front of the counselor that "We're not here to talk about me, just you" I refused to become the whipping boy for every stress in a marriage.

I've read too many threads over the years of cross dressers beat up in counseling, especially with church based counseling. Always check out the credentials of the counselor.

[Dianne S]

I hope your couples counseling works out.

I hope so too. I don't think my wife will use it to dump on me, and the therapist seems professional enough that she'd recognize that if someone tried.


I've read too many threads over the years of cross dressers beat up in counseling, especially with church based counseling.

I specifically insisted on a non-religious-based counselling organization. There's no way a religiously-based counselling organization could be neutral about CDing.

Anyway, although I mentioned CDing to the therapist, I don't want therapy for CDing... I'm not there to dig deeper into it. It's just one important piece of background material that she needs to know about in order for the couples counselling to be effective.