It isn't all that I am, but I wouldn't be all that I am without it . . .

[Kathi Lake]

It isn't all that I am, but I wouldn't be all that I am without it.

This quote has been rattling through my head ever since I posted it in this thread (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?199162). I have seen people posting lately with thoughts on this running the gamut from saying crossdressing defines them and they would die without it, to those that say this is simply one of the many things they do in their life.

I know where I am in this, but I wondered where you were. Is this something that defines you, or do you define it? Is this something you have to do, or do you simply choose to?

Kathi

[Beverley Sims]

Kathi,
I do not over think too much, I draw the wrong conclusions any way.
I just choose to do what I do.
Sometimes if the opportunity was denied me I may have a need to do it.

[Kathi Lake]

. . . I draw the wrong conclusions any way.Says who? Beverly, the only one who can draw the "right" conclusions about your life is you!

Kathi

[Kate Simmons]

Try saying that five times fast Hon. I reckon it used to define me Kathi but somewhere along the line, I now define it. Funny how that works. ;):battingeyelashes::)

[AllieSF]

"It isn't all that I am, but I wouldn't be all that I am without it . . . "

I really like that sentence/phrase/saying. Since I am a very late starter with this side of me, I can say that it was never an obvious part of me before, nor did it obviously, in my looking back at that previous life, define me. Now that I am into this side me as a high priority it is very descriptive of who I am today. For me, it defines me and I do not define it. I have controls over how much, when and how I may present "that" me, but I do not think that I have total control, in the sense that I could shut it down permanently if I wanted to. Since I am not an expert about all this, nor am I totally ignorant, who can say that if certain situational and/or relationship circumstances changed dramatically in my life, that I might let this part of me diminish in importance? Good food for thought.

[suzy1]

I would not die if I stopped being Suzy, I would just have a hole in my life. My life would be greyer, lacking in something very special to me.
I am Suzy in my head as I have said before. I assume I am transgender? So I have no choice about being Suzy

Its not all that I am, its the best part.:)

Thank you for this interesting question Kathi.

[Sarah Beth]

I would have to agree with it not being all that I am but it is a part of what makes me, me. However, it is not what defines me, there is so much more to life than that part of me that makes me who I am. Family and work are to big factors that define who I am

[Kandy Barr]

I would not die if I stopped being Suzy, I would just have a hole in my life. My life would be greyer, lacking in something very special to me.
I am Suzy in my head as I have said before. I assume I am transgender? So I have no choice about being Suzy

Its not all that I am, its the best part.:)

Well said Suzy, I feel much the same.

Thank you for this interesting question Kathi.

Well said Suzy, I feel much the same.

[kimdl93]

I'd have to say that cross dressing is a pretty important part of me. I have lived without dressing, so I know I wouldn't die. However, I've become a much more effective, successful person in both the personal and professional sense, as I've come to terms with myself. I accept that I'm transgendered and that part of me, a meaningful, valuable and healthy part of me is female.

I've noted before the adverse consequences I experienced as a result of repressing my gender identity from early childhood on. Freed of that repression, I feel better, I'm less volatile and much more tolerant of others AND myself.

I'm still defining myself. Yes, I love, and indeed strongly prefer to engage the world around me as a woman might...even though I have few illusions (everybody has some) about how well I succeed in presenting myself as a woman. But I am not tormented when I must make accommodations to the part of my life that expects me to be male. I roll with it.

Each passing day it seems I am able to let a little bit more of the male side go. If I ever did end up living full time as a woman, not saying that is likely, it will still be my choice. It will simply be the realization of something I've always wanted, but often denied.

[Lynn Marie]

Its not all that I am, its the best part.:)

Yep, me too. Also well said Suze.

[Jenniferathome]

...

I know where I am in this, but I wondered where you were. Is this something that defines you, or do you define it? Is this something you have to do, or do you simply choose to?

Kathi

Kathi, it is in me. I am born this way. I have to cross dress (as odd as that feels to write). BUT, cross dressing does not define me. No more than athlete, father, husband... defines me. I am all those and more.

[Dani0948]

I cd because i want to. I really don't feel a compulsion but more of a desire. For me it's about the cloths, etc.

[Beverley Sims]

Kathi,
Sometimes I worry about what others think. :)

[Kathi Lake]

I am all those and more.Yes we are, aren't we? :)


I would just have a hole in my life. My life would be greyer, lacking in something very special to me.Exactly! For me it is an outlet - a creative outlet, an outlet for a part of me that is rarely expressed, and a way to show the world that what we do isn't what the media portrays.


Sometimes I worry about what others think. :)Beverly, I'm not sure what you mean. Do you mean that you worry about thinking you are a guy in a dress? What?

Kathi

[Allison Chaynes]

Your original quote covered it well for me, Kathi. I'm not define exclusively by it, but I believe that it is beyond a choice. On the TG spectrum, I believe I am bigendered. For me it's more than just clothes, or an act/character/artistic expression/etc., it's a side of me.