Outed! .. now to see what happens ...

[Sister Rachel]

Well ... this afternoon when I was at work,my wife Anne has told our daughter, who was "gobsmacked" but not (apparently) disgusted or hostile .. which is OK, although I hadn't 'fessed up to her myself ages ago on the grounds that, like many girls in their 20s/ 30s, she can be a bit of a blabbermouth, and I didn't want all her friends in on my (partial)secret ..

But ... (aaaaaargh) .. her new boyfriend, who I have only met ONCE, is also in the know ... he seems a nice lad, but I really wasn't prepared for this :eek:

you can't put the genie back in the bottle .. what will be will be ..

[kimdl93]

I guess your wife felt it was time. Hope all goes well, as it seems to have for the moment.

[Tracii G]

Act like its no big deal do what you normally do around her and her BF.Act like a man when you have to and dress when you want.

[Courtney . J]

if it was me and i didnt want anybody else to know, id grab the boyfriend to the side , away from people and tell him "look , if you dont want your azz kicked by a dude in a dress you better keep your mouth shut ! " lol !


or if you are like me and dont care what people think ,. look at him straight in the eyes and say something like .." so should i wear pink nail polish or blue nail polish today ?"

:devil:

[suchacutie]

I have to admit that taking the high road seems the best response. The bigger the deal you make it the more everyone else will respond.

[Amanda22]

In my experience, the 20-somethings and 30-somethings are refreshingly accepting. I hope that's your case as well. Keep us updated, OK?

[Beverley Sims]

You do have to be careful when you take the proverbial cork out of the bottle.

[Amy R Lynn]

Well there is nothing you can do to undo this. So, the best thing I can think of is to just be you! Don't do anything that you normally wouldn't do. Your daughter may ask you some questions about all of this. Just be honest with her.

This could possibly bring you and your daughter closer. She now knows that you have a lot more in common than she ever knew!

[Christine.Lolita]

When the cat is out of the bag, it is out of the bag. I told my brothers and sister in-law about ten years ago that I am a cross dresser. Unfortunately it was during a night when we were all drinking and I had not planned on telling, it just came out. I suppose I needed to tell someone.

Since then they have distanced themselves from me and now I have not had any contact with them for many years. They did not tell me the reason for the banishment which leaves me to wonder if it is because they cannot deal with a TG sibling. The not knowing why is the worst part.

[Juliea661]

Brenda, Mark Twain was once quoted to say: "I am an old man with many worries... Fortunately few of them have come true."
Don't create worries, when most likely everything will work out for the better, as things usually do.
Another thing: trust your wife's instincts with regard to relationships and her telling. Most women are way better at this.
Wishing you the best!
Hugs, Jules

[Leona]

I just want to be clear her. It's your daughter that has the boyfriend that knows, and not the wife, right? It's not obvious to me from your post...

If it's your daughter, I'd say be in his face about it. When she brings him home to meet you, rock that skirt when he's there, and act like it's normal (hopefully it is), and if he's uncomfortable, tell him he is and why.

Of course, I'm kind of an in-yer-face person. It works for me. It may not work so well for you. But I'm looking forward to my girls bringing home SOs that need it (one's gay, the other one's not, so gender is not specific). I'm totally looking forward to getting in their faces and being downright GIRLY, and doing it loud and proud, strong and true, and if they don't like it, they don't have to date MY girl.

[PaulaQ]

I think it was unfair of your wife to out you to your daughter without talking to you about it first. My wife has outed me a bunch of times. (I think she's told more people than I have at this point.) It's not cool. (And it hasn't always gone well for me, nor for her, for that matter, although mostly it's been OK.)

Basically though, other people will find out from this point on. Your daughter, or her boyfriend, may have already posted this on social media - people that age tend to do this about, well, everything.

One question you should ask your wife - "have you told anyone else?" The main reason to find out about this, in my opinion, is to not look foolish by trying to hide something from someone who already knows the secret.

Good luck.

[Chickhe]

In my opinion there are two ways to say it....I am a crossdresser or I crossdressed. It makes a huge difference. The first way implies a lifestyle and the second way just informs people of an activity. When I dress up it is for fun, my friends know but they think of me first then CDing as one activity I do sometimes. They don't think of CDing first and define me by that.

So, for a CDer who is 'out' my recommendation is to accept it like it is any other activity you do, be open and upfront. Put your fears and embarrassment away and stand up proud and joke about, make it enjoyable for you and others.

right way... 'Mr W. Do you wear a dress?'....'Sure do!...one Halloween I dressed up as a witch. Scared everyone....bla bla bla... (think attitude of Mr. Willson from the TV show home improvement) ....kids says he's cool, he scared people on Halloween!

wrong way... 'My J. Do you wear a dress?' ....'Ah, red face, NO! ...who said that? ...gotta go now...'. ...kid goes away tells his friends...yah its true, his face turned red...he's weird.

[Stephanie47]

The best kept secrets are kept by one. Add another individual and the secret exists no more. My wife knows of my cross dressing, although she does not know the extent of my wardrobe. I wonder what would happen if she outed me to our kids or family through a slip (no pun intended) of the tongue. Would all that I have otherwise been over six plus decades be negated because I feel comfort sometimes by wearing a dress? I always wonder. I suspect there would be a few friends and close acquaintances who would shy away from me. I guess another guy may feel associating with a guy who likes to wear a dress means that HE must be gay.

[daarleane]

Like someone said, once you tell anyone it is no longer a secret. I would like to think that the more macho men would have more difficulty dealing with a friend who is a CD. Women are more likely to "accept" you, but it is a test of a true friendship. Once it is common knowledge than you have to live with the results good and bad.

[reb.femme]

I don't think your wife should have outed you without consulting first but it is a fait accompli now. As others have said, just front it out from here on and treat it as normal. However, as to who knows now is anyone's guess. A real case of 'Have I Got News For You' :heehee: My wife told her sister, who will have told her husband although my wife swears she hasn't. Not something I would bet on. I have seen him since and he was OK. Quite honestly, I don't care anymore but keep it down so as not to embarrass my wife at work or among her fiends.


Since then they have distanced themselves from me and now I have not had any contact with them for many years. They did not tell me the reason for the banishment which leaves me to wonder if it is because they cannot deal with a TG sibling. The not knowing why is the worst part.

My siblings all live near to me but I wouldn't see any of them if the wife and me didn't have BBQ days or family get togethers. Oh well, their loss and they don't even know I dress.

Rebecca

[Sister Rachel]

Thanks for your replies, everyone! Much good sense and wisdom therein :) I'll try to reply individually on some posts soon ..

I think things are going to be fine between me and my daughter, it just puts me in an unfamiliar position when I next meet her BF ..

My wife has been saying for some time that she wants / needs a female friend to talk to about my cross-dressing, I had tried gently to steer her towards this site but although she's very internet/ computer savvy she doesn't really do social networks ..

I'll keep you all posted :)

[Mollyanne]

if it was me and i didnt want anybody else to know, id grab the boyfriend to the side , away from people and tell him "look , if you dont want your azz kicked by a dude in a dress you better keep your mouth shut ! " lol !


or if you are like me and dont care what people think ,. look at him straight in the eyes and say something like .." so should i wear pink nail polish or blue nail polish today ?"

:devil:

I like it !!!!!!! I like it!!!!!!

Molly

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Brenda, You just can't unring a bell it's out there now .