Idk how to feel?

[Sasha614]

Completely new to this of about a month ago. I recently developed a thing for she males when I was in Afghanistan and that was prime porn to watch. I came home to my wife and daughter but still would sneak some me time. I first put on a pair of my wife's panties(leopard print with laced up sides) completely sexy and I loved the my butt looked and I have been hooked on it since. Got a whole wardrobe started now, and my wife has been supportive and even sexual with me while I'm Sasha. I find myself thinking about being in my clothes a lot and it is throwing up a red flag for me. I don't want to be a girl just love feeling so sexy in the mirror when I'm fully dressed. Am I supposed to feel this way? Supposed to get turned on by the look of Sasha in the mirror? Any answers ladies?

[Kelly DeWinter]

Sounds like a full on clothes fetish. As far as the she male , if anything more then 'watching' occurred, you should get checked out for STD's , it's only fair for your spouse. Also I wonder if what you are experiencing is a way to cope with the stress of being in a war zone. If you are out of the military, visit a VA to talk to a counselor, it sounds as this new full on 'thing' may be a way of coping.

[gatorgirl]

Hi Sasha, hang around and talk to the folks here...it's not about "are you supposed to feel this way", it's that you do feel this way. And so do a lots of others, including my boyfriend...my GG answer, so happy you have a supportive wife, have fun!!

[Julie Gaum]

Welcome to the Forum and welcome home knowing that you returned safely. Rather than try to fill you in with a book-full of answers ---
yes, you are "normal" to feel that way and no, it doesn't usually mean that you wish to always be a woman. The so-called "she-males" is a very small part of the CD community though porn flicks make it seem otherwise. Suggest you go to the stickies on this Forum as they will answer many of your questions; and also ask those questions that most trouble you as I feel certain that you will receive replies. Keep in mind that said replies are usually from members' personal experiences and, since the variations in the reasons that males cross dress are considerable you need to sort out those that seem to personally fit your particular feelings and needs.
You will also realize that your spouse should be cherished, for even though many members have accepting wives others will be envious.
Tell her often how much you love her and how lucky you feel in so many ways.
Julie

[SophieKitty]

It could be a clothes fettish, I know mine started that way, and grew into a complete female persona, and I'm happy now as both a manly man AND a girl. Still there's nothing wrong with just being a guy who likes the feel of womens clothing. So long as you feel good, and no-one else gets hurt keep it up. Don't be afraid if feelings evolve beyond the sexy and into feeling comfortable as a woman on a day to day basis. Even if the next day you feel like the manliest man in the world, and a lady a few days later.

I guess what I'm saying is just do whatever you enjoy doing, and don't suppress any new feelings including saying goodbye to CDing. Whatever you decide has no wrong answer :)

[Rabecca]

Your starting down the right track. Same thing happened to me.
I say your just getting started, wait it get's much better.

[Beverley Sims]

Welcome to the forum Sasha, you are starting out like a lot of us have.
Curiosity will get to you yet.

[julia marie]

Sasha. Welcome home.
Enjoy the feeling you get when you look in the mirror. You aren't hurting anyone, and the only reason that someone on this forum would judge your feelings and actions as wrong is if they are based on hurting people. And, about the leopard print panties, they're a hit with just about everyone.

[MysticLady]

Hi Sasha

First of All, thank you for your Service to your country.

Now, the CD thing. You're going to start admiring yourself and really like it. ( I know there's a special word for it but I don't remember it)
Next, you're going to start wanting that admiration from others. Men, will be the ones that will admire you because of kink in their minds.
So, you'll want go out en femme and experience that. Once there, you may decide to go further, like experiencing erotic sexual relations either w/ a man or another CD or transwoman. Since your married, you will feel caged even if your wife is supportive. Then, the wife will start wondering about you and if you even love her, because she'll feel like she's the one you need to crave and worship and desire her and no one else. My recommendation is, you're going to have set "your own" boundaries so that this will not overwhelm you. You're young and full of c*m and that will be a driving force. I usually don't advise on a therapist but, with your military background, I would strongly recommend you secure one for the journey forward. I wish you and your family "peace of mind" with this.

[Tracii G]

Welcome I'm glad you made it back safe and sound.
This site is not one of she male porn so get that straight first off no nasty business here.
Sounds like you are having a clothes fetish and thats OK a lot of people started that way.
Do plenty of research here using the stickys and I'm sure you will find some answers you can use to figure out where you fall in the CD spectrum.
Always be up front with your wife and tell her how you feel.
And by all means if you engaged in relations with a man/woman while during your tour get checked for STD's you DO owe your wife that.

[Vickie_CDTV]

Completely new to this of about a month ago. I recently developed a thing for she males when I was in Afghanistan and that was prime porn to watch.

I am curious, do you mean that she male porn was popular with others in the military you were serving with (and you'd all share copies with each other)? Or do you mean that she male porn is all they had access to there? I would imagine everyone could have been in serious trouble for having it, on several levels.

It probably goes without saying, but if you have a wife who is ok with your dressing, you want to be faithful to her and make sure she is happy; should something happen to your marriage, that kind of brass ring is probably never going to come around again.