Anne2345
08-23-2013, 02:47 PM
"What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is." - Dan Quayle.
I'm sorry, sometimes I simply can't help myself, but the above quote always makes me laugh.
Still, although totally butchered by Mr. Quayle, and regardless of the fact that I am taking the intent of the quote completely out of context, Mr. Quayle's misquote somehow seems apropos to this post.
In this, we all know that the power of the mind is awesome. Humankind, both individually and collectively, has performed magnificent feats and accomplishments. Regardless of one's individual and specific internal values, political views, faith, or moral compass, which constitute entirely separate issues not relevant herein, it is because of the power of the mind that we as a society and culture exist in our current form and state.
For all of the good that has been accomplished, we owe everything to the power of the mind. Even from the bad, however, we have learned much from our mistakes, and continue to do so daily.
"With great power comes great responsibility." - Peter Parker's Uncle Ben.
Given the potential power of any individual mind, I believe we all have a responsibility to both ourselves and others to wield such power responsibly.
The mind, though, can be a complicated, powerful f'ing twat capable of performing what should be impossible acts of self-deception. Specifically, I'm referring to those ******* mental mindf*cks "denial" and "suppression."
These two powerful special-interest mind-wasting forces, specifically, have performed a real con-job on my life. By and through my own personal failure to acknowledge and admit so long ago what I knew to be true to myself, and to embrace myself for who I really was and am, I failed miserably in my responsibility to myself.
Fortunately, however, I have taken, and continue to take, great pains and effort to rectify this epic failure of self. No more shall I allow the forces of denial and suppression to wreak havoc upon my life in the manner I so did before.
These days, and for some time now as my friends here know, I fully acknowledge and accept who and what I am - I am a MtF transsexual.
Moreover, I am no longer sitting around idly, twiddling my thumbs, watching the clock go by, and doing nothing about it. To the contrary, I am actively in the process of transition. It is very much my desire, goal, and absolute need to make my life workable for me. To do otherwise would be to wither away and die. I have travelled far, much too far, down that road before, and I know its ultimate destination for the dark and final truth it presents and offers. And I reject that road.
Still, it has taken much work to arrive at my current location on my path, and it will take much, much more work to see my journey through. The point is that none is this is easy. If it is necessary that you, too, travel this path, as those that came before me warned, you must prepare yourself for a potentially long, hard, and painful journey.
If you are like I was, however, it all begins with pushing past the barriers and walls of those two mental cohorts in crime: denial and suppression. These forces can be formidable obstacles. Overcoming my own internal denial and suppression of self was the most difficult, painful, chaotic, and intense experience of my life. But I did it, and I am quite proud of myself for having done so.
Make absolutely no mistake, though. Denial and suppression are total mindf*cks capable of completely deceiving the self. If you don't believe me, pay more attention to the words and actions of some of the members here. If you look closely enough, as some thankfully did in my case, you may be surprised what you see.
For me, I had completely convinced myself I was nothing but a happy-go-lucky crossdresser without a care in the world, just flitting about to and fro. Just two years ago and some change, for example, I wrote about the virtues of how great it was to be a closet dwelling crossdresser. The funny thing, though, is that I was on the complete brink of mental collapse and on the verge of breakdown, and I didn't even recognize it. But still, there I was, all la-dee-da-dee-da, dancing around in a field of daisies, chirping with songbirds, and flying around aimlessly with butterflies.
My previous life is now incomprehensible to me. I can hardly even believe I was that person. I suppose I cannot believe I was that person because the truth is that I was never truly that person in the first place. Yet, I did my absolute damnedest to buy into my own internal lies and deceit. And in hindsight, it was ridiculous. Just utterly ridiculous and completely self-destructive.
Even more ridiculous, though, is that I entitled the post I referenced above as "My Closet is My Blessed Sanctuary." Not that there is anything inherently wrong with the post in and of itself. It's just that it should never, ever have been written by me.
If you want a good laugh, and are curious to see the awesome and destructive power of denial and suppression actively at play, you can check out my "Closet" post here. (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?154956-My-Closet-is-My-Blessed-Sanctuary.-Is-Yours) It's just one of many, many, many examples that I and others here are able to offer.
And if after this, you still don't believe that the mind is capable of committing such chicanery, well, you may consider yourself warned, and proceed at your own risk . . . .
I'm sorry, sometimes I simply can't help myself, but the above quote always makes me laugh.
Still, although totally butchered by Mr. Quayle, and regardless of the fact that I am taking the intent of the quote completely out of context, Mr. Quayle's misquote somehow seems apropos to this post.
In this, we all know that the power of the mind is awesome. Humankind, both individually and collectively, has performed magnificent feats and accomplishments. Regardless of one's individual and specific internal values, political views, faith, or moral compass, which constitute entirely separate issues not relevant herein, it is because of the power of the mind that we as a society and culture exist in our current form and state.
For all of the good that has been accomplished, we owe everything to the power of the mind. Even from the bad, however, we have learned much from our mistakes, and continue to do so daily.
"With great power comes great responsibility." - Peter Parker's Uncle Ben.
Given the potential power of any individual mind, I believe we all have a responsibility to both ourselves and others to wield such power responsibly.
The mind, though, can be a complicated, powerful f'ing twat capable of performing what should be impossible acts of self-deception. Specifically, I'm referring to those ******* mental mindf*cks "denial" and "suppression."
These two powerful special-interest mind-wasting forces, specifically, have performed a real con-job on my life. By and through my own personal failure to acknowledge and admit so long ago what I knew to be true to myself, and to embrace myself for who I really was and am, I failed miserably in my responsibility to myself.
Fortunately, however, I have taken, and continue to take, great pains and effort to rectify this epic failure of self. No more shall I allow the forces of denial and suppression to wreak havoc upon my life in the manner I so did before.
These days, and for some time now as my friends here know, I fully acknowledge and accept who and what I am - I am a MtF transsexual.
Moreover, I am no longer sitting around idly, twiddling my thumbs, watching the clock go by, and doing nothing about it. To the contrary, I am actively in the process of transition. It is very much my desire, goal, and absolute need to make my life workable for me. To do otherwise would be to wither away and die. I have travelled far, much too far, down that road before, and I know its ultimate destination for the dark and final truth it presents and offers. And I reject that road.
Still, it has taken much work to arrive at my current location on my path, and it will take much, much more work to see my journey through. The point is that none is this is easy. If it is necessary that you, too, travel this path, as those that came before me warned, you must prepare yourself for a potentially long, hard, and painful journey.
If you are like I was, however, it all begins with pushing past the barriers and walls of those two mental cohorts in crime: denial and suppression. These forces can be formidable obstacles. Overcoming my own internal denial and suppression of self was the most difficult, painful, chaotic, and intense experience of my life. But I did it, and I am quite proud of myself for having done so.
Make absolutely no mistake, though. Denial and suppression are total mindf*cks capable of completely deceiving the self. If you don't believe me, pay more attention to the words and actions of some of the members here. If you look closely enough, as some thankfully did in my case, you may be surprised what you see.
For me, I had completely convinced myself I was nothing but a happy-go-lucky crossdresser without a care in the world, just flitting about to and fro. Just two years ago and some change, for example, I wrote about the virtues of how great it was to be a closet dwelling crossdresser. The funny thing, though, is that I was on the complete brink of mental collapse and on the verge of breakdown, and I didn't even recognize it. But still, there I was, all la-dee-da-dee-da, dancing around in a field of daisies, chirping with songbirds, and flying around aimlessly with butterflies.
My previous life is now incomprehensible to me. I can hardly even believe I was that person. I suppose I cannot believe I was that person because the truth is that I was never truly that person in the first place. Yet, I did my absolute damnedest to buy into my own internal lies and deceit. And in hindsight, it was ridiculous. Just utterly ridiculous and completely self-destructive.
Even more ridiculous, though, is that I entitled the post I referenced above as "My Closet is My Blessed Sanctuary." Not that there is anything inherently wrong with the post in and of itself. It's just that it should never, ever have been written by me.
If you want a good laugh, and are curious to see the awesome and destructive power of denial and suppression actively at play, you can check out my "Closet" post here. (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?154956-My-Closet-is-My-Blessed-Sanctuary.-Is-Yours) It's just one of many, many, many examples that I and others here are able to offer.
And if after this, you still don't believe that the mind is capable of committing such chicanery, well, you may consider yourself warned, and proceed at your own risk . . . .