Tomboys

[Paula_56]

I was watching "What not to wear" last night and they has a Tom-boy on named Courtney.

She dresses like a boy and was very uncomfortable with the idea of being trans formed into a stylish woman.

It's funny the double standard there is out there Here she is presenting male, and not one cares she even worked in a church. Imagine it was the other way around?

A young man presenting female?

I didn't see the end of the episode it anyone knows the out please let me know.

[Kate Simmons]

Basically tom boys like being swashbucklers Paula. I know because I was a tom girl/boy and loved adventure. Of course being FAB they always have the option to "fail back" to female mode but many of them just aren't into it.:battingeyelashes::)

[Jenniferathome]

Watched it with my wife. First, she did not "present" as male. She was certainly a tomboy but was clearly a woman even in her most mannish outfit. She presented as a woman with no fashion sense at all.

In the end, she actually wore a dress to her reveal but the other outfits she chose were pants and tops and very much a feminine look.

[Paula_56]

Jen

Thanks for the update, I was inacurrate to say she present as male but, she looked like a boy, for a while there I was suspecting she may have been trans, she didn't seem interested in the makeover and distraught about the circumstances. Glad it went well for her in the end.

[Beverley Sims]

Some that were tomboys encouraged me to dress so as we could show how well we switched looks to impress their parents.
It was a successful exercise with the parents encouraging us to do more.

[carhill2mn]

I would like to have been a "tomboy". That seems as if it would have been the best of both worlds. BTW, what is the acceptable equivalent for boys of a "tomboy"?

[kimdl93]

I don't recall Tom boy having quite the negative connotation of houseboy...a term I had ascribed to me as a child. I don't think we quite so readily make assumptions about female sexuality based on atypical behavior. In contrast boys get immediately labeled for anything even remotely less than stereotypically male behavior. Its not a double standard...it's a needlessly cruel and destructive reflection of Western homophobia.

[ReineD]

Jen

Thanks for the update, I was inacurrate to say she present as male but, she looked like a boy,

I didn't think she looked like a boy at all. It's clear that she didn't like feminine looking clothing, but this means nothing. She has a feminine face and long hair that she did not cut short.

I knew a young girl years ago who was just like Courtney. She hated and I mean HATED anything that was girly, even down to playing with Barbie dolls. It turns out it was because she hated the body that she had been given. She was short and stocky (like her mother), and she felt she looked sub-par compared to all the other little girls. She fell prey to the media image of the feminine stereotype. She simply did not have to body to wear any of the clothes seen in all the magazines, fashion catalogues, etc. And so she rebelled big time even down to hating being a girl. She was also one of the smartest little kids I have ever known. lol

Her mother and grandmother were very distraught by this. They worried for her future and her ability to eventually marry and have a family. Even they were imposing their own values on her.

As she grew older, she gained more confidence in herself and although she still has a rather square-ish frame, she has found clothes to wear that suit her, that don't look overly masculine but that aren't frilly and frou-frou either, which would indeed not look good on her. She is now engaged to be married and is pursuing a doctorate degree.

My point is that women such as Courtney and the girl that I knew are not the average female. We can't take the exception, women who have issues about their bodies because they don't feel they measure up (due to the media's and society's influence), and make unequivocal judgments that "women are allowed to look like men, so it is a double standard". Girls like this are also ostracized, just as feminine boys are. When you think of it, her friends submitted her for the show, obviously because they also felt she could look better. This is an indication that they did not approve of her masculine clothes, which is no different than not approving males who wear feminine clothes.

[Billie_M]

[/QUOTE] Girls like this are also ostracized, just as feminine boys are. When you think of it, her friends submitted her for the show, obviously because they also felt she could look better. This is an indication that they did not approve of her masculine clothes, which is no different than not approving males who wear feminine clothes.[/QUOTE]



This is such a true statement, and is usually hurtful to all involved. Male or Female.

Billie

[Princess Grandpa]

, she actually wore a dress to her reveal .

At the risk of showing my ignorance, what is a reveal?


I would like to have been a "tomboy". That seems as if it would have been the best of both worlds. BTW, what is the acceptable equivalent for boys of a "tomboy"?

There was no "acceptable" opposite to Tomboy. We were called sissies or fags or a litany of other things.

Hug
Rita

[Jenniferathome]

At the risk of showing my ignorance, what is a reveal?

It's a literal meaning of revealing oneself. For the show's purposes, they gather the friends and out comes the subject of the show.

I'll also add that my impression of Courtney was not that she dislikes the feminine "look" of clothing but she was totally clueless about what might fit her, what colors she liked, etc. She did say she grew up with three brothers and maybe she just wasn't exposed much to the female culture. The funniest thing was watching her walk. Manish to the highest degree.

In the end, I think she actually appreciated the opportunity to experiment with her look.

[Frédérique]

It's funny the double standard there is out there Here she is presenting male, and not one cares she even worked in a church. Imagine it was the other way around? A young man presenting female?

That’s very easy to imagine. Here’s an excerpt from a story I found:

“In truth I suppose I actually was to some degree above average in looks as young boys go, what with my slight build, longish blonde and curly hair, azure blue eyes, and boyish good looks that were said to be bordering on actually pretty. At barely five feet and around ninety pounds, I could easily have been taken for a young girl when dressed in my altar boy robes.”

Hmmm… :whistling:

[Brooklyn]

I love helping women look more beautiful, but society places way too much pressure on girls to be pretty and feminine from an early age. Many can't be bothered, just like some guys don't want to pump iron and drive big trucks. Some ladies want to wear heels and have a blow-out 3 times a week, and some just like a pixie cut and to throw on jeans most days.

Do you think it's a double standard, though? Appearing more feminine, like wearing cosmetics, takes considerable effort, but appearing more masculine or plain takes very little effort for either sex. As a culture, we look down on men who are overly-concerned about their appearance as a sign of vanity and weakness, so men's fashion is much more limited. Just check out how many villains in the movies have nice wardrobes and accessories!

[Leslie Langford]

Much as I enjoy watching WNTW for Stacy and Clinton's fashion tips and insights which I then try to apply to myself as appropriate, this particular episode left me feeling strangely ambivalent.

Most candidates for makeovers on this show are pretty open to the idea of a fashion intervention even if they are initially uncomfortable with the concept. This young lady was not; she clearly felt stalked, put upon, and humiliated, and was barely able to contain her rage when first confronted by the WNTW crew.

From the outset of this particular episode, it struck me that trying to bully this girl into giving up a style of dressing that she was clearly comfortable with was about as presumptuous as it would have been to tackle Ellen de Generes or Rachel Maddow and demand that they also ditch their "mannish" ways of dressing because this makes certain people uncomfortable.

That said, I also felt a tinge of sadness and yes, - jealousy - at seeing such an otherwise pretty young girl "squander" her God-given looks and femininity by trying to bury (and suppress) them under layers of camouflage gear for reasons best known to herself. And since she didn't appear to be a lesbian, I can't help but believe that there must have been some underlying gender or self-image issues at play here as well to cause her to go as far as she did to affect a full-on "butch" appearance.

I realize that I should know better given my own TG issues and love of crossdressing - both of which are also fundamentally illogical - but I couldn't help but be somewhat annoyed at seeing someone "squander" such a gift of nature when I have to work so hard (as many others here have to as well) to come even close to approximating a reasonably feminine appearance.

It is often said that youth is wasted on the young, and sometimes the same can probably be said with respect to some women and their innate femininity and sensuality, and how they choose to discount these.

Now, then - while we are on this particular topic and what we CDers often perceive to be a double standard when it comes to opposite-sex dressing, the attached article from The American Statesman publication which appeared just the other day is both illuminating and thought-provoking.

Aside from the usual blah!, blah!, blah! about how hard done by females are by the fashion choices presented to them and the pressure to act and dress "girly" when their hearts just aren't in it, this story also showcases an Austin, TX mom who decided to do something about that by creating a clothing line called "Girls Will Be":

http://www.statesman.com/news/lifestyles/austin-mom-launches-clothing-line-for-girls-who-do/nZYGm/?nmredir=true

Interesting perspective on the matter, and if we were to flip the gender references around by 180 degrees and substitute "boy" for "girl" while talking about the disappointment felt by those boys who would prefer to wear feminine-style clothes given their 'druthers, then that would have spoken to what many budding (and actual) crossdressers also experience every day. We also have equally limited options in that regard, but by and large, are expected to just "suck it up".

As for the usual double-standard when it comes to men and women's fashion, I'm not holding my breath for this Texas mom to launch a corresponding line of clothes called "Boys Will Be" geared at the young lads who prefer softer, more colorful, frilly, and lacy clothing.

Nah! - that will likely continue to remain the domain of the purveyors of fetish clothing, and whose customers we crossdressers are usually unfairly lumped in with by the general public.