Food for Thought..

[Kathinja Galaxy]

Had one of THE best days EV-ur D:..
I was sitting at home (naked) browsing through this very forum, and chatting with my lovely wife of five years about all of you wonderful ladies and how encouraged I was from some of your posts! Now, I had not planned on having any kind of girly excursion today, but I would say I was feeling semi-confident in myself.. My wife picked up on this as we chatted, and out of the blue said "Hey, Lets go to the Mall and try on some shit!" to which I slowly but surely replied "...Hell yes?"

A few minutes of prep time later (I was mostly girled up already) and we had our son, Ryver in his stroller and away we were. I had my hair down and straight, a nice long black dress on with frillies on the shoulder straps and a nice square cleavage cut. Nothing fancy, and NO MAKEUP D;.. It was way too hot..

I went out very unprepared in comparison to other times I went out, and right in the middle of the day in the most populated part of our little town no less.. and I was BLOWN away by the results..

NOT.. ONE.. PERSON.. SAID.. ANNNNNYYTHING negative.. AT ALL!!!!

WHAAAAAAT D:?

I'm sure I didn't fool everybody.. I saw glances, but NOT A WORD. Most people were even smiling at me! I didn't attempt to mask my voice at all, I spoke loud and proud about shopping for heels and skirts, and I even was allowed into the FEMALE dressing rooms (which I WILL NEVER DO AGAIN D;... Scariest thing I've ever done.. I still have a penis >.>...) and my wife only had to give a few nasty glares at the very sparse amount of old women that caught on and disapproved..

Now this, to me, was one of the most liberating and mind numbingly confusing thing I might have ever submitted myself to. I only have a few theories as to why I had such an easy time walking through a very stuffy little country town and not get totally heckled every step of the way...

1) Most everyone noticed I was a boy and just didn't want to go out of their way and be the one to openly spit on me.. Or acknowledge me for that matter.

2) I'm just beating up on myself and I ACTUALLY dressed so damn fine that I fooled EVERYONE (doubtful!)

3) This small god-fearing town is WAY more liberal than I gave it credit for, or the world really IS changing (slightly less doubtful)

4) Or men and women, from a distance spot things that are obvious, like shoes, skirts, smiles, eyes and confidence.. and so long as you can fool the visual perception enough for their mind to INSTINCTIVELY intemperate a woman or male, they will literally just pass you bye without a second thought on the matter... NORMALLY. And that leads me to believe as a second point, that people who can see right through a disguise like that, are either so used to hounding after women (a man-ho) that they know EXACTLY what a real woman looks like down to the inch, or that the person picks apart every single OTHER person they see each and every time they spot one that they catch the minutest of details, which is a common trait in very self-conscious people.

What do you all think of this theory.. And if its sound, then why should any of us buy into other peoples views, judgments, and fears being projected out from their own insecurities?..

..Food for thought. Had a wonderful day with the family.

[Tawne]

I'm unsure what to think apart from the fact that you had a wonderful time and I'm very happy to hear all about it!

[Wildaboutheels]

And yet one more Forum person joins the RW also known as REALITY. Congrats. ONLY CDers care how other people are dressed. The "normal" folks out in the RW who stick to the "correct" clothing choices, could care less what other folks wear.

WHY on earth would/should they? What they DO care about is how we interact with them.

The vast majority of folks who participate here are looking at the REAL enemy every time they look in their own mirrors.

[Kathinja Galaxy]

I think thats a little.. narrow minded, if you don't mind my bluntness. To use generalities like that, and to claim you know whats popping into every CDers mind AND apparently every normal persons as well.. I wouldn't call that right by any means. I made assumptions and claimed it my theory, but by no means do I have any real clue whats going through these small-town folks minds when they see me. I wasn't talking about hyper-critical issues either, I was pointing out that your brain is ****ED regardless of who you are, and is geared to see things one way or another even if something crazy is looking you in the face. I wasn't trying to call out CDers and tell them to 'Man up and stop caring' but what I AM trying is to give a dash of perspective that might make someone who is completely freaked the hell out about public exposure to feel maybe an inch better about things.. Congradulate someone else, please. If you think the problems, views and oppinions of the women and men on this forum are insignificant or invalid because YOU believe them to be, than maybe you should press the delete button on your account and go enjoy the RW like you so avidly hope everyone else will..

[samanthasolo]

I think the biggest step a CD takes comes after they look in the mirror, they see an image of themselves that is not going to jump out as OBVIOUS , then comes an air of confidence to take the next step. That step is out the door into the RW. From my own experiences once that confidence comes it doesn't matter what anyone thinks. There is no self conscious, I know I am comfortable with myself, I am ok with the few who might look at me with that disturbed twisted scowl face, or even the look me in the eyes and smile look that might be saying the whole I know that you know close but no cigar. The best of all happened this past Sat. My wife and I sat down in Chili's. The waitress introduced herself and said what can I get for you LADIES. I did not think that for a minute that she didn't know but I think I know she probably thought I did a really nice job with my whole presentation. Yes, the majority of the people could really care less about who I am or what I'm wearing and I am pretty much doing the same except of course my wife and I notice a sexy pair of shoes another woman might be wearing, or just a generally beautiful woman. I think the bottom line is some of us girls just want to blend and some want to draw attention and isn't that really prevalent in all aspects of life?

[I Am Paula]

I've said it so often I should just copy and paste it.
The world is a much nicer place than we give it credit for.

[Beverley Sims]

All I can see is you naked browsing through the forum.
Glad it was a better day later on.

[linda allen]

I think having your wife and child along goes a long way towards keeping the negative people at a distance. The ones who might whistle or make a negative comment if you were alone. Also, some parts of the country (USA) are more tolerant in general than others.

But, it's great that you had a good time.

[Kathinja Galaxy]

Its a good buffer on a bad day, and it helped I'm sure with my adventure out, but I have had equally stunning results in the past if ever someone saw through my disguise. I've gone out more times than I can count on my digits and I've never actually been heckled by anyone when I really try to think about it.

[Richelle]

4) Or men and women, from a distance spot things that are obvious, like shoes, skirts, smiles, eyes and confidence.. and so long as you can fool the visual perception enough for their mind to INSTINCTIVELY intemperate a woman or male, they will literally just pass you bye without a second thought on the matter...

Kathinja,

Could not agree with you more. My experience is that most people make a quick judgment call and go from there to determine a persons gender.

Also, glad you had a good time.

Richelle

[donnalee]

As I grew up in Oregon, may I offer another possibility:
We were, in the days before Californication, taught that minding one's own business was a virtue. Although it's become a politically vanilla liberal state, there were a gamut of political views there, in those days, from communists to ultra right wing and somehow everyone got along pretty well; the choices for public office were much more varied, and the idea of "throw the rascals out" was much more prevalent.
Since you're down the valley a bit, that may still be the case where you are. I hope it is.

[Kathinja Galaxy]

I wouldn't put all of my cards in the political past so much. But it is widely known that Oregon is more accepting of some things than others.. But once again the point of my post was overlooked. My point is not acceptance, but human nature. I'm pointing out that regardless of acceptance, theres a vast amount of people that, care or not, interpret and let their brain assume a large amount without them ever reaffirming it with a second glance. This effect occurs regardless of past politics, or if you've been living in a cave your whole life. As it is human nature for me to enjoy beauty (never knew why only a woman could.. wasn't like that in Egypt I hear ;p) its also human nature to make several errors in your interpretation of your environment based on the fact that your brain fills in several large gaps for you without you noticing.

[Tracii G]

It is what it is no matter where you are, some people stay quiet and some scoff and get all disgusted.
Glad you had a great day.

[Jenniferathome]

None of the above. But it's a bit of a combination. The average person is more impressed by their toes and navels and fails to notice anything. When they do lift their heads, every woman will see the cross dresser. 100%. Women simple see more detail when they look at something. Men only notice if they are called to look. But, most people just don't care about a cross dresser because it doesn't affect their life. That's the real take away. Mostly, people don't care.realx

[Kathinja Galaxy]

Once again, another wonderfully incorrect view of what I've tried to emphasise. And excuse me, but because you say 100% means your oppinion is as such. I have met over a dozen women that, uppon speaking to me have completely failed to realize at point blank range that I was a man. In fact I know my point holds more validity because I've even been called a women when I wasn't dressed. I simply have long hair, soft shoulders and slightly flared jeans and I have fooled more cashiers than I would like to admit. People who see me and my wife out in town shout "Hows it going ladies?" and old men who drive dump trucks who are friends of my grandfather looked directly at me, ME with 5 o'clock shadow and shorts, dirty from working, and call me a girl and once again only realized the error once I spoke. The point, once again, was that the brain works a VERY perticular way, REGARDLESS of any oppinion you can drop here. Everyone is unique, but the brain works very perticularly and that is the true point here. I've gone purple from explaining it, I don't see how I can be much clearer. Sorry for my bluntness once again, but I asked for oppinions, and theories, and thoughts.. Not people dropping by to say "No your wrong, I know how it really is based on my limited experience." If its scientifically proven, 'nuff said.

End of line~
Kat.

(p.s. Thanks all for the congrats on the great day.. I'm not ignoring you, just.. being a grump xD)

[Lorileah]

people see what they expect to see.

and Kathinja and the rest here...don't make this a pissing contest OK?

[Kathinja Galaxy]

I already peed, I'm good. You simply said it in very few words, perfectly. People see what they want to see.. that was my only point.. I guess I just 'dressed' it up too much, heh. Majority, people will see whatever they expect to see, and the few that slow down to pick someone apart are Hyper-critical on one level or another in any case.. I was simply pointing out that the brains perceptive intake is responsible.

[AllieSF]

I think that part of what you say is correct, but so is what most of the others have said too. You are blessed with some good feminine features, which is also to your advantage. I, as well as, some those above go out all the time, like hundreds of times. My experience s are vary similar to yours. I pass at a distance, some rare times close up and my voice is the final confirmation when someone did catch the real me sooner. It is very true that many people just don't care. They see, register and keep on trucking to their planned destination. If they are taking a break, they then have time to concentrate and reflect more on what the see and might not have registered initially. I don't see everyone above telling you that your theory is wrong, which to me it is not wrong. They, we, are responding to your request for opinions. I really see no need for you to defend yourself.

What Wild was saying above is very accurate. No, not 100% of people are like that, but I would hazard a guess that the majority may be that way. All she was saying, in her own way of saying it, is that a lot of what people who want to go out but do not, do not because of their own fears. Fears which once they do get out with little or no reaction from others, become smaller fears or actually do go away. I do not think that she was being critical of you, but was congratulating you for your accomplishment, and was pointing out to others that those preconceived fears were pretty much baseless as you seem to be stating in your own words.

I also congratulate you and wish you more success in the future, as it only gets better the more you do it. At least for me it has been definitely that way. You also have a great wife.

[suzanne]

Try this theory on for size, if you will. Everyone who saw you noticed but didn't care. Perhaps because they read your attire as unusual but not inappropriate. We appear to be nearing an era when wider deviations from "normal" are more easily accepted. I have been shopping many times as a "man in a dress" with no negative responses. Just treating everyone with respect and acting as if you belong looks to be sufficient.

[Kathinja Galaxy]

Mm, yes wild was doing exactly that and actually messaged me and clearafied for me.. and I understand that these are oppinions that are being tossed around and thats exactly what I asked for.. but I suppose it just grates against me when the comments left are so black and white, when I was simply trying to point out an anomoly in the way a human mind works.. It is indeed saying my thought is wrong when someone uses absolutes and percentages, and claims that are fuled from completeley different life experiences.. I'm just a sensative person, and I strive to not be so '0 or 1' and I was hoping for thoughts, not absolutes is all. I can admit that I usually have no clue, I was looking for something similar I suppose.

And yes, I've never quite met a woman like my SO.. but isn't that why we all choose the one were with ;3?

[Wildaboutheels]

What if we just forget about THEORIES from anyone?

This stuff [how and what most people see/notice in public] is not Rocket Science but well documented FACTS. [and I have a feeling that the OP has possibly seen at least one episode of NGC's BRAIN GAMES]

BRAIN GAMES should be required viewing for all CDers. It answers many of the never ending WHYS posted here. Of course if one just wants to claim that BRAIN GAMES has some kind of agenda to make folks feel foolish about how "sharp" they really are, go ahead and claim it.

It shows in episode after episode, how our brains are able to ignore some things but yet "see" other things that ARE NOT actually there. And/or to ignore "things" that might make us feel bad about ourselves. Or twist facts around, so we can be "more comfortable" about ourselves. Even when they tell us/you ahead of time to pay attention [to what they are fixing to show in the next scene] it's still easy to miss stuff. Quite annoying but illuminating at the same time.

It's simply the way Humans in general are wired.

Not sure how beneficial it is [to Newbies especially] to claim that 100% of females will notice MtF crossdressers either. I would think that some real GGs might not agree with such a statement.

[Kathinja Galaxy]

Thaaaaank you, for the love of god thank you. This is exactly what I was saying, pure and simple. I just didn't want to tell everyone to go watch a friggen TV show, becuase its just as easy for me to sit here and TRY to illuminate folks.. Spoken beautifully Wild <3 Please refer to the post below if you're confused about my OP.

(by the way, if anyone has the opportunity, they should watch one of these series mentioned. The series I watched was Your Bleeped Up Brain.. And Season 1, Episode 3 has a segment specifically about how a fleet of US marines ((Navy?)) dressed in drag to completely fool the German Army in WWII.... two times in a row. Some real food for thought.)

[Candice Mae]

From my experiences I find that the majority of people don't care, and that how you act and your attitude is more important then how you look.