LeaP
08-28-2013, 07:35 PM
Two is NOT the same as one!
Clarity is less threatening than opacity!
The pain you get is less than than the pain you fear!
What am I talking about? Getting my ears pierced!
It's true that many males have pierced ears these days. Some have holes large enough to install those things you put in doors to see the Jehovah's Witnesses before you open the door. But did you know that the difference between piercing one versus two ears still makes the ground tremble for some people? And that's odd when you think about it, because after all, one is unbalanced and pirate-like. Two apparently, instantly, and permanently casts you out of the manly manhood club. Who knew? Had I known THAT, I would have done it years ago.
Except I wouldn't and didn't. I was too afraid of the manly man club blacklist. People snorting and choking, stifling their laughter after passing me in the hall. Being turned down for promotions ... "We just can't DO it, Snidely - those earrings!!!"
You can carry it off if you are cool, artistic, gay perhaps. Everyone knows I'm not cool or arty. I don't think anyone thought I was gay in the past, though hormones do have a way of changing your looks. What else might they think???
"OMFG! HE'S A TRANNY!!! Mabel, Rose - c'mere ... the new guy is a TRANNY!!!"
So fear might have something to do with it.
All right, Lea ... you're in transition. Gotta start doing stuff. Self, how do I finesse this one? I know - glass studs! Invisible, right! So down to the piercing parlor I go. (This after 3 drive-bys over 3 days ...) Very tribal place. Dark walls. Masks. Cases filled with things that plug into God Knows Where. But clearly they know the piercing business because the people that work there are bristling with metal, bone, bits of feather, etc. ... and that's just in the holes that are FILLED.
18 Gauge, 16 Gauge, 14 Gauge ... Gauge? Whattaya mean gauge? Gauge is for railroad tracks and plate steel specification, not earrings! What am I doing! Visions of railroad spikes and hammers occur to me. The manager shows me 18 gauge stuff. In a moment of bravado, I decide to go with 16 gauge. I'm wondering if that's gonna hurt more, but don't ask. I'm fully prepared to spill my guts as to why I'm doing this, but they don't care. They DO "sir" me constantly ... leaving me to conclude that it would have been better to spill my guts.
I swear as God is my witness that the tech did more thorough sterile process than what went down in my last OR visit. Repeated glove changes, multiple wipe downs of surfaces with different substances. Multiple swabbings of my ear. Sterile draping. This went on for almost 15-20 minutes! For pierced ears!!!! They AUTOCLAVED the needles (which were also disposable) and the earrings. But we swapped stories about little girls and sewing needles at sleepovers. He told me why it's a really bad idea to pierce baby's ears. And the placement of the piercings was tested, rejected, assessed, and measured 2 dozen times with digital calipers. We settled on the right spot - after which the manager came in to render her verdict. Someone else came in, too, that I think just happened to be in the store, but that was OK. It's not like it was at the mall kiosk.
Then, breathe in, out slowly, big breath, breath out slo... "OUCH". Hey! Not bad! Wait ... geting worse. No ... OK. Then the setup line: "Sometimes one hurts more than the other!" Thanks a heap! Same breathing drill, and ... "ow". Good - that was the BETTER one!
So, earrings installed, little baggie of special H2Ocean piercing spray in hand, off I went with glowing red ears. Oh, that invisible thing? Seems that depends on the light and angle. Dead on straight, you can't see them. But they look RED from the side! And they catch light and sparkle! Sigh.
And in a moment of fear returning, I had a brief panic attack. "I DID SOMETHING NOTICIBLE! PEOPLE ARE GOING TO SEE ME! THIS IS ALL A MISTAKE! RUN!!!" And as I got over THAT, I wondered how SRS might go ...
First reactions were all over the map. My wife noticed them INSTANTLY. Another said "you can hardly SEE them ..." And the third said "Red!". Sigh ... and I thought using glass studs would be my first excursion into stealth. So much for cleverness.
But I marched into work the next day confidently, fully expecting ... something. Looks, questions, remarks, smirks even.
NOTHING. Nada. 2 of the barest glances. And that was that. And now I'm thinking "Hey! You're SUPPOSED to notice these!" Life is perverse.
This was a non-event. A non-event like every other emotionally-loaded non-event to-date. And yeah, I'm older, so you can blame all the drama because of earrings on THAT if you want. But all this thinking and angst and what-ifs and panic and second guessing and hand-wringing is typical of every step. I think I'm supposed to learn that lesson and get over it, but the next step comes and the same thing goes down every time!
It's fun to have pierced ears after decades of longing for them! They feel like they belong!
Clarity is less threatening than opacity!
The pain you get is less than than the pain you fear!
What am I talking about? Getting my ears pierced!
It's true that many males have pierced ears these days. Some have holes large enough to install those things you put in doors to see the Jehovah's Witnesses before you open the door. But did you know that the difference between piercing one versus two ears still makes the ground tremble for some people? And that's odd when you think about it, because after all, one is unbalanced and pirate-like. Two apparently, instantly, and permanently casts you out of the manly manhood club. Who knew? Had I known THAT, I would have done it years ago.
Except I wouldn't and didn't. I was too afraid of the manly man club blacklist. People snorting and choking, stifling their laughter after passing me in the hall. Being turned down for promotions ... "We just can't DO it, Snidely - those earrings!!!"
You can carry it off if you are cool, artistic, gay perhaps. Everyone knows I'm not cool or arty. I don't think anyone thought I was gay in the past, though hormones do have a way of changing your looks. What else might they think???
"OMFG! HE'S A TRANNY!!! Mabel, Rose - c'mere ... the new guy is a TRANNY!!!"
So fear might have something to do with it.
All right, Lea ... you're in transition. Gotta start doing stuff. Self, how do I finesse this one? I know - glass studs! Invisible, right! So down to the piercing parlor I go. (This after 3 drive-bys over 3 days ...) Very tribal place. Dark walls. Masks. Cases filled with things that plug into God Knows Where. But clearly they know the piercing business because the people that work there are bristling with metal, bone, bits of feather, etc. ... and that's just in the holes that are FILLED.
18 Gauge, 16 Gauge, 14 Gauge ... Gauge? Whattaya mean gauge? Gauge is for railroad tracks and plate steel specification, not earrings! What am I doing! Visions of railroad spikes and hammers occur to me. The manager shows me 18 gauge stuff. In a moment of bravado, I decide to go with 16 gauge. I'm wondering if that's gonna hurt more, but don't ask. I'm fully prepared to spill my guts as to why I'm doing this, but they don't care. They DO "sir" me constantly ... leaving me to conclude that it would have been better to spill my guts.
I swear as God is my witness that the tech did more thorough sterile process than what went down in my last OR visit. Repeated glove changes, multiple wipe downs of surfaces with different substances. Multiple swabbings of my ear. Sterile draping. This went on for almost 15-20 minutes! For pierced ears!!!! They AUTOCLAVED the needles (which were also disposable) and the earrings. But we swapped stories about little girls and sewing needles at sleepovers. He told me why it's a really bad idea to pierce baby's ears. And the placement of the piercings was tested, rejected, assessed, and measured 2 dozen times with digital calipers. We settled on the right spot - after which the manager came in to render her verdict. Someone else came in, too, that I think just happened to be in the store, but that was OK. It's not like it was at the mall kiosk.
Then, breathe in, out slowly, big breath, breath out slo... "OUCH". Hey! Not bad! Wait ... geting worse. No ... OK. Then the setup line: "Sometimes one hurts more than the other!" Thanks a heap! Same breathing drill, and ... "ow". Good - that was the BETTER one!
So, earrings installed, little baggie of special H2Ocean piercing spray in hand, off I went with glowing red ears. Oh, that invisible thing? Seems that depends on the light and angle. Dead on straight, you can't see them. But they look RED from the side! And they catch light and sparkle! Sigh.
And in a moment of fear returning, I had a brief panic attack. "I DID SOMETHING NOTICIBLE! PEOPLE ARE GOING TO SEE ME! THIS IS ALL A MISTAKE! RUN!!!" And as I got over THAT, I wondered how SRS might go ...
First reactions were all over the map. My wife noticed them INSTANTLY. Another said "you can hardly SEE them ..." And the third said "Red!". Sigh ... and I thought using glass studs would be my first excursion into stealth. So much for cleverness.
But I marched into work the next day confidently, fully expecting ... something. Looks, questions, remarks, smirks even.
NOTHING. Nada. 2 of the barest glances. And that was that. And now I'm thinking "Hey! You're SUPPOSED to notice these!" Life is perverse.
This was a non-event. A non-event like every other emotionally-loaded non-event to-date. And yeah, I'm older, so you can blame all the drama because of earrings on THAT if you want. But all this thinking and angst and what-ifs and panic and second guessing and hand-wringing is typical of every step. I think I'm supposed to learn that lesson and get over it, but the next step comes and the same thing goes down every time!
It's fun to have pierced ears after decades of longing for them! They feel like they belong!