Barbara Ella
08-30-2013, 12:32 AM
I had made the decision to keep my transexual nature from my wife. We have been on this ride together for less than two years, and she completely freaked out with just the concept of a cross dresser. Even one year ago she would not consider transgender, much less acknowledge transexual. My judgement at the time was that with time, she would become more aware and accepting. Thus, i began my slow inexorably slow journey of HRT around last November, in silence. First she decided she wanted to discuss things, that was positive. Last month she allowed that if I was female she understood, and would not leave (a previous condition), but could not see me dressed.
Last week we had another talk after I had a particularly hard day, because of something really trivial, except for our situation. I needed a new nightshirt. My male nightshirt was in shreds. I went on the interned and looked for them, but as I sat there, I became very scared...There was no way i was going to wear a male nightshirt ever again. I was going to violate one of our agreements, it might hurt her, but I must do it. So I beat myself up for a day.
When she came home, she saw my condition, and we had a talk about it. I related to her that as a man i never wear shorts because of my birth defect, but i would have no qualm about going out right now in a skirt (at or above the knee no less), and broke down. After some time and discourse she stated that she knows i am a woman, and she can now accept that, and has no negative feelings. She agreed that a therapist should be started. She went further and said that if HRT would help alleviate the GD feelings and the beating up on myself, that I should start them as soon as possible, and I should attend local support group meetings. Further she was now willing to have me dress in jeans/slacks, blouse, and flats. She will work up to makeup, wigs, skirts etc over time. i did go out and buy a nice Vera Wang nightgown.
She allowed that if I have the need to go 24/7 we will sell the house and move to a new town, and start over from day one there with our new life, but never in our hometown.
She did notice my breasts (38B), which I feel is exceptional for a 67 year old. We marked them off to my low testosterone, and prostate problems and medications.
I know i always talk about honesty, and many here do not approve of doing it this way. I can only hope and pray that in a short time we will both be on the same page and moving forward together. Where we are going, I don't know, and we are both on a journey, but we are together at last. I am at least hopeful it will last because we have both said neither of us is going away.
Your support and friendship has meant a great deal to me as i begin to become the woman i know i am inside.
Barbara
Last week we had another talk after I had a particularly hard day, because of something really trivial, except for our situation. I needed a new nightshirt. My male nightshirt was in shreds. I went on the interned and looked for them, but as I sat there, I became very scared...There was no way i was going to wear a male nightshirt ever again. I was going to violate one of our agreements, it might hurt her, but I must do it. So I beat myself up for a day.
When she came home, she saw my condition, and we had a talk about it. I related to her that as a man i never wear shorts because of my birth defect, but i would have no qualm about going out right now in a skirt (at or above the knee no less), and broke down. After some time and discourse she stated that she knows i am a woman, and she can now accept that, and has no negative feelings. She agreed that a therapist should be started. She went further and said that if HRT would help alleviate the GD feelings and the beating up on myself, that I should start them as soon as possible, and I should attend local support group meetings. Further she was now willing to have me dress in jeans/slacks, blouse, and flats. She will work up to makeup, wigs, skirts etc over time. i did go out and buy a nice Vera Wang nightgown.
She allowed that if I have the need to go 24/7 we will sell the house and move to a new town, and start over from day one there with our new life, but never in our hometown.
She did notice my breasts (38B), which I feel is exceptional for a 67 year old. We marked them off to my low testosterone, and prostate problems and medications.
I know i always talk about honesty, and many here do not approve of doing it this way. I can only hope and pray that in a short time we will both be on the same page and moving forward together. Where we are going, I don't know, and we are both on a journey, but we are together at last. I am at least hopeful it will last because we have both said neither of us is going away.
Your support and friendship has meant a great deal to me as i begin to become the woman i know i am inside.
Barbara