Open to INTERPRETATION

[Frédérique]

Just the other day a thread was closed. It wasn’t one of mine (thank you), but I posted in that thread just before it was canned. Perhaps I’m to blame. Whenever a thread is closed I read the last post, if only to see what the mod wrote, for future reference.

The original post didn’t READ like satire to me, which may explain why I, and others, posted “serious” responses. I know satire when I stumble over it, but, in this case, I thought the author of the OP was expressing some thinly-veiled frustration and anger, perhaps couched in rules-conscious language. Oh, well, at least that’s how I interpreted it…

Interpretation plays a large role on this site. It’s hard to achieve understanding, even when the words are carefully selected with understanding in mind. English must be a very dense language. I’m certainly not a student of linguistics, but it’s amazing how so many words mean so many different things to so many different individuals. It’s as if each of us has a language of our own, which, now that I think of it, may be part and parcel of our crossdressing, a highly individualistic (and interpretive) undertaking…

Let’s talk about threads, just for a moment, I’ll start a topic that will begin to roll along, hopefully uphill and not downhill. Depending on the subject matter, I will either strike a chord here and there, or I may be accused of trolling, whining, or even presenting myself as a drama queen. By my interpretation I am none of the latter, while others insist, based on their own interpretation, that I am doing one (or all) of those things. It’s frustrating, to be sure, but when I field messages of support, or non-interpretive responses that…ahem…answer the question (if one was asked), I begin to see that people are actively translating my words into a language only they can fully understand, and everyone is different…

I guess it all depends what you think of the author/member in question, based on the words that are submitted. Interpretation involves showing one’s own understanding of something, which may eclipse any carefully-chosen words in the OP, or even change the direction of a topic. From that point onwards, one person may take pains to construe, infer, or deduce something, based on their particular interpretation, while the original poster struggles to elucidate the main idea. Such is the process of discussion around here, and I, myself, have been guilty of interpreting words and turning a breezy exchange of posts into an unraveling, an unfolding, or an exposition, deepening the mystery. Sorry…

Speaking of mystery, wouldn’t you say that the urge to crossdress is a mystery to most non-crossdressers, unless the latter have some knowledge of it? Let’s say you’re in a relationship. And you, after careful reflection and preparation, decide to spill the beans about your (up to now) “secret” life. “I’m a crossdresser,” you proudly (or shyly) declare, “I like to wear women’s clothing.” Well, how will the other person interpret this statement? I mean, you’ve been about as clear and concise as you can possibly be, or have you? A lot of people will assume (interpret, by their knowledge of unknowable things) that you MUST be homosexual. An analysis has been made, a deduction has been deduced, and the mystery is solved! Kinda sad, isn’t it?

Of course, if you’re a male by birth, and you like to wear women’s clothing, most people will be interpreting what you do in negative terms, at least to them. You’re guilty as charged, a spotty blight on normalcy and conformity, while you are merely trying to emerge from obscurity and make yourself intelligible. The crossdresser is unfolding as a human being, on a personal quest that may only make sense to the individual, or other like-minded individuals. I interpret the flack we get as ignorance, pure and simple, but the ones doing the character assassination interpret their acts as a kind of moral crusade...

Why try to explain yourself if your detractors are using a different language altogether? We need an interpreter, I think, but do any exist? After all, I am a MtF crossdresser, an enigma, wrapped in a mystery, smothered in super-secrecy. Or, I could just be a guy who likes to wear women’s clothing – it’s all open to interpretation…

Oh, the struggle to be understood – GAAAAHHHHH!!! :doh:

[Mollyanne]

Hi Freddie (can I call you that????) upon reading and re-reading your post I kinda agree with you insofar as interpretation goes. Yes we all hear "what we want to hear" and then decide on a response. Less tolerant people will respond in a certain way all the while and then more tolerant individuals will think their answer before answering. I personally have been down the road of ridicule and non-understanding and have accepted this as narrow minded and unforgiving. But this is who I am, I have accepted the fact that I wear female clothing and like it!!!!! My interpretation of my thoughts is that I was born this way.

Molly

[Kate Simmons]

Well, don't tell too many people Freddy but I am a "Crossdresser Whisperer" and fully understand the language and intentions of CD's and am able to interpret them to others. ;):)

[Ineke Vashon]

The very word 'crossdresser' is open to misinterpretation. After all, what does 'cross' have to do with 'dressing'?:eek: And 'dressing' could mean clothing or something you put on your salad. English, what a funny language:D

Ineke

[Wildaboutheels]

A thread was closed... perhaps for no [apparent???] reason? Or, heaven forbid, D E L E T E D!

Here at THIS website? Surely you jest. Say it ain't so!

The funny thing about Forums... Some will always see the glass half full. Others will always see half empty. Some will complain that it's an ugly glass. Others will complain it's a bad picture of a glass. Some will blame whoever washed it, saying they did not do a good job.

NGC's BRAIN GAMES offers an easy "solution" to this apparent mystery.

As well as answer most of the WHYs presented here at this website.

But it's also a constant reminder of just how MUCH control our unconscious mind has on us when we SEE things. It's not our eyes that lie though. It's our Brains trying to protect us from ourselves.

[Danitgirl1]

Speaking for myself, I find that I am more often than not open to MISS interpretation
;-)
Dani

[GaleWarning]

When we read someone's post, we cannot read their body language as they were typing it; nor can we ask questions on points of clarification and get instant feedback.
Some of us are better able than others, to read between the lines and discern the underlying pain (usually) or frivolity (occasionally). But too few of us have that kind of affinity or gift.
And way too many of us lack a decent sense of humour, preferring instead to take things way too seriously, or to hurt rather than heal.
Then, of course, we have a very few special people, who always seem to know exactly how to respond ... who intuitively seem to grasp exactly what it is the poster intended (or not) to convey.
I won't name names. You know the ones of which I speak!
:love::hugs::love:

[Veronica27]

Reading your OP reminded me of Robert DeNiro's famous "Are you talking to me?" line. (I can't remember the name of the movie). Five different emphases, and five different interpretations. As Gale said, we can't see the body language in the written word, nor can we feel the vocal inflections, or tonal qualities of the spoken word. One of my greatest fears is that human communication is on a path to oblivion. Not only is written communication on the decline with such technological progress as "texting" and "tweeting" with all their shortcuts, symbols and acronyms dumbing down the quality of the message, but vocal communication seems to be increasingly difficult for today's younger generation who insert such terms as "like", "right" "You know" and various expletives several times into every sentence they utter.

This afternoon I posted a short reply to a Wildaboutheels thread, and afterward read it back and realized it could be taken as humorous, sarcastic, bored, angry, flippant, ........ (insert your own impression here)

Veronica

[Deedee Skyblue]

In a couple cases in which my threads were deleted, it was basically because I expressed myself poorly in the OP, and left my intentions and reason for posting open for misinterpretation I wrote one of them so poorly that some could have found it offensive. Nobody who answered was offended, but I don't know how many people who read it were. After reflection, I am pleased that that one was deleted.

In addition, I have to say that it annoys me when I see responses to an OP that show a clear misinterpretation of the OP. I also find it annoying when I read a post 2 or 3 times and still can't figure out what the OP is trying to say.

Deedee

[Zylia]

Sorry what's the question again?

Edit: Oh wait, I get it, that's open to interpretation.

[Wildaboutheels]

This oughta help. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DI2KRusAy00

Monkees Shades Of Gray Lyrics
Send "Shades Of Gray" Ringtone to your Cell
Songwriters: Mann, Barry / Weil, Cynthia
By Barry Mann and Cyntha Weil

When the world and I were young,
Just yesterday.
Life was such a simple game,
A child could play.
It was easy then to tell right from wrong.
Easy then to tell weak from strong.
When a man should stand and fight,
Or just go along.

But today there is no day or night
Today there is no dark or light.
Today there is no black or white,
Only shades of gray.

I remember when the answers seemed so clear
We had never lived with doubt or tasted fear.
It was easy then to tell truth from lies
Selling out from compromise
Who to love and who to hate,
The foolish from the wise.

But today there is no day or night
Today there is no dark or light.
Today there is no black or white,
Only shades of gray.

[Instumental interlude]

It was easy then to know what was fair
When to keep and when to share.
How much to protect your heart
And how much to care.

But today there is no day or night
Today there is no dark or light.
Today there is no black or white,
Only shades of gray.
Only shades of gray.

[kimdl93]

The challenge to all communication is achieving some measure of share understanding. In some cases, it's easy. I paw the ground, snort and say buffalo. Most observers think i have been alone in the south dakota sun too long, but my clever friend, Kicking Bird, says 'tatonka' and we have he beginnings of understanding.

So it is. It takes time and intuition to learn a new language...to communicate takes even longer. Discussion groups like this are more impulsive..we respond, sometimes before we think.

Jeez, didn't anyone appreciate the cinematic reference?

[Tracii G]

I'm done trying to interpret anything.Why has it got to be more like a Psychology class anyway?
Its just like college the so called deep thinkers get their beret, pipe and smoking blazer on and try to dazzle the masses with brilliant prose.
In the end the OP gets pissed off because nobody agrees with the point of the whole thing.

[Frédérique]

Sorry what's the question again?

For some of you who have actually read the OP, you’ll notice that it has been edited. Originally, I included a quoted post (copied and pasted from a closed thread) from another moderator to use as a lead-in for this topic. I was going to send a PM to that mod, asking her if it was OK to do that, but I decided not to. Surely nobody would misinterpret my intentions, right?

Subsequently, of course, I was accused of questioning a decision made by a mod, hence the editing, but I merely wanted to present the quoted post to highlight the idea (fact) of misinterpretation, in this case MY misinterpretation. Questioning and considering are two very different things, subject to interpretation, of course...

I got VERY mad when I saw that the original post had been edited, but, once I realized that another person had misinterpreted something in my “open to interpretation” thread, I began to feel better about things. You see, this illustrates the point I’m trying to make quite nicely...

This is me: :lol2:

The whole episode insults my intelligence. For crying out loud, I would NEVER question the decision of a mod - don't you think I've read the "sticky" at the top of this section? Sheesh...

PS - Thanks to Wildaboutheels for the Monkee lyrics! I can almost hear Peter Tork warbling...

[Zylia]

OK so I guess the concept 'misinterpretation' actually exists? Good thing we already have a word for it, saves us the trouble of having to think one up.

But really, if your point is that messages (or all forms of human expression really) are getting misinterpreted all the time because of all kinds of things in the communication process, you're 100% correct. That's communication 101. If I made you feel like I didn't read your OP (in its current form), it's also worth considering that you're actually not really trying to make a novel point that's open for discussion here.

[Tracii G]

Freddy don't worry too much every time I click reply with a quote it gets deleted.LOL
I do see the mods reasons but it does change the scope of what you are trying to say.

[sometimes_miss]

Whenever one of my posts gets deleted or edited, I try to remember that what I wrote probably really upset the guy who felt he had to do that, and I really don't want to upset anyone. Sometimes I forget that many of us here are occasionally on emotionally fragile ground, and we come here for a respite from the hard, mean world, not to have our troubles made even more obvious to us than they already are. So for anyone who's felt upset by something I wrote, I apologise. It wasn't meant to come across that way, sometimes I just don't show the tact that a situation requires. So, Freddie, I don't think it's done out of being mean or anything, probably just to avoid hurting someone elses' feelings.

[kimdl93]

Personally I think any reference to the Monkees should be preceded by an apology.

[docrobbysherry]

I an bithin by tonng-----

[GaleWarning]

Personally I think any reference to the Monkees should be preceded by an apology.

To whom, kim? Peter Tork? The whole group? The American public? Everyone?

Come on now! Make yourself clear!!

(Lest I be misunderstood, let me make it clear that this is written with my tongue firmly in my cheek.)

Which makes me think of an appropriate musical plea from the Animals ...

"Baby, do you understand me now?
Sometimes I feel a little mad
But don't you know that no one alive can always be an angel
When things go wrong I feel real bad.

I'm just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood

Baby, sometimes I'm so carefree
With a joy that's hard to hide
And sometimes it seems that, all I have to do is worry
And then you're bound to see my other side

I'm just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood

If I seem edgy, I want you to know,
That I never mean to take it out on you
Life has its problems, and I get my share,
And that's one thing I never mean to do

Cause I love you,
Oh,

Oh, oh, oh, baby - don't you know I'm human
I have thoughts like any other one
Sometimes I find myself, Lord, regretting
Some foolish thing, some little simple thing I've done

I'm just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood
Yes, I'm just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood
Yes, I'm just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood

Yes, I'm just a soul whose intentions are good"

[kimdl93]

All references to the Monkees by any sentient human being.

[Frédérique]

If I made you feel like I didn't read your OP (in its current form), it's also worth considering that you're actually not really trying to make a novel point that's open for discussion here.

That’s not what I was implying, Zylia, so relax. I quoted your post because I thought it was cute, and, under the circumstances where I was trying not to explode, I needed that to calm me down and allow a measured response. After I submitted the post, it crossed my mind that you might take it the wrong way, and you did – please accept my sincere apologies. This is another excellent example of how a person can misinterpret the words, or actions, of another, simply because we’re not on the same page (yet). Give it some time...

However, I feel that the topic at hand is an excellent subject for discussion. “Making a novel point” is never a goal when I write these things – think of it more as the dissection room, or an exploration into why we find ourselves on different “pages” to begin with...


So for anyone who's felt upset by something I wrote, I apologise. It wasn't meant to come across that way, sometimes I just don't show the tact that a situation requires. So, Freddie, I don't think it's done out of being mean or anything, probably just to avoid hurting someone elses' feelings.

Well, that’s why I think discussing interpretation is a meaningful exercise. How else will I get to know you better, and you will get to know me better? I certainly don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, which is why I go over and over anything before I submit it. This is the main reason why I never post “on the fly,” preferring to think about things first. Oh, a bad post slips by from time to time, and feelings will get unintentionally hurt, but, unfortunately, those are the breaks...

PS - For all you fans of The Monkees, don't you think someone should interpret Monkees lyrics (a la The Beatles), and search for the hidden meaning therein? Remember when Charles Manson misinterpreted Helter Skelter? Comedian Sam Kinison once pointed out that Chucky, in his under the influence state, would've gotten the same inference from Last Train to Clarksville!

PPS - That was meant to be humorous...:doh:

[Gillian Gigs]

The problem is that through most of my life I have been a misunderstood person. As I have gotten older I realized that I am not the only one. Most of us trip over our own words and fail to communicate what we really intend. I still remember watching StarTrek when Spock did his Vulcan mind meld and thinking I want that. If I could only do this mind meld then I would never be misunderstood again. When it comes to quirks and obsessions no one will understand unless they also have the same quirks and obsessions, we hope. One can only hope that through our own quirks that we can start to understand others and why they do what they do, because we also want to be understood ourselves. How can I expect someone to understand why I like to wear lingerie, skirts and pantyhose, when I'm not totally sure why I do it myself. Love and acceptance needs to conquer hate and rejection, isn't that part of why we come to sites like this?

[noeleena]

Hi,

A ? then, not sure about an answer ,

Okay as you all know . i bring up details about my friends, yes Renaissance group of about 250. who you know dress in garb, now about 140 men wear dress's , okay that seems to not be an issue to thier wifes partners girl friends . so thats good so far. now some are dress's & some are skirts or similar dress for the day .

So the ? ..... would any here call them my friends that is, cross dresser's .

Now my women friends & myself wear most of wear dress's, myself i make my clothes and do skirts as i can mix and match.

As youv said.
i dont understand the male mind as to why you wear our womens clothes , if it was only about clothes . that would not be the issue . its when it taken further, to look like women, thats were i fail to see it . so my male friends just wear the clothes of the day and are not trying to be like women,

as a thought would you wear dress's skirts if say you went into a clothes makeing shop & were fitted up in clothes that were made just for you. a dress or skirt a blouse or tops ,& the like , what am i trying to say. okay because your body is in line as a male not like mine = female. it would fit your body. not another female because we have breasts and er nothing down south -there, our body shape is different ,

& i hear the comments they are not female clothes, so you wont wear them because,....yet would be made by the same semtriss.

Another ? why do you wear say , a blouse thats made for my body shape , yet if you wear that it wont fit you in the same way as it does myself i have breasts & you dont, i mean real ones . so for cross dresser's its more than just about clothes,

...noeleena...

[Beverley Sims]

Frédérique,
Even humour and levity are open to interpretation.
Travel across America and a joke in Los Angeles falls flat in Chicago and NY.
I am sometimes too subtle on the forums here and if I do not spell it out nobody gets "it".
Yes it all goes back to interpretation.

[MysticLady]

Hello All

Yes, Freddie, I must agree. Interpretation of the written word is difficult w/o facial expressions and body language. I have always been in a position of dealing w/ public mostly customers of a big corporation. In my field, I used both written and personal ways of dealing w/ them. I've have learned that dealing w/ people in person is the maximum/best way too communicate. The written word can be taken how ever the person may be feeling at the moment which, could be total opposite of the way it was intended by the author.