The possibility of going out with oldest daughter

[Being Paige]

My wife really has nothing to do with me as Paige, she tolerates me is how I would put it but, I have a feeling that if the circumstances were right that my oldest daughter would go out on a girls night out with me! Wether it would be to a bar for some drinks or maybe even to the movies, dinner, I don't really know for sure but I feel that I should just ask and see if she would be up for that. We have always be every close and I have always been there for her, supporting her in every way. She knows that I dress but I wouldnt want to put her in a spot! What should I do? I know that I want to at least take a chance, but I'm still a little scared.

[lingerieLiz]

It isn't just what your daughter wants, but also how your wife would feel about it. You didn't say how old your daughter is. How would your other daughter feel if she was left out of sharing time with the two of you. Would you do something else with her if she wasn't comfortable with going out as girls night out?

[AllieSF]

You are in a complicated and potentially delicate situation because your wife only tolerates it, and your daughter knows and may very well enjoy going out with you. However, you then put your daughter's relationship with her mom at risk if Mom goes ballistic with you, or her or both of you. I think you should discuss it with your wife before you bring it up with your daughter. Since you are still married and hopefully have a good life together and love each other, it really is a potential and unpredictable risk to bring your daughter into that part of you and your life without her knowledge and hopefully agreement.

I wish you the best of luck with whatever you decide.

[Wildaboutheels]

"but I wouldnt want to put her in a spot!"

THE END.

JMO

[chelyann]

i would not get in a big hurry, it could end BAD for all of you and your daughter could pay the biggest price of all.

[Rachelakld]

While my 15 year old says yes she would go for brunch, my wife would say no to the idea, so it's a no for me as well

[ronny0]

IMO if your wife is not supportive, you should NOT try to get 'her' daughter involved w/o your wife's OK.
Asking your daughter puts her in a bad spot, don't do it. If your wire isn't supporting your CD don't try to find support with your children.
Do it alone, or find a support group in your area.

[Kathinja Galaxy]

I say GET TO IT! Ask her :) If shes such a wonderful friend and she even knows you dress, its just like asking her to go check the mail at that point.. so what if your wife is upset with it, if your daughter is old enough to make up her mind, than that is all the thought needed to go into it.

[heatherdress]

Without knowing the circumstances, this does not seem like a good idea. Very risky. Maybe a bit creepy, too. To go out to a bar, dressed, for drinks with your daughter? Is it to benefit you, or her?

Seems like the best approach would simply be to talk to her about your dressing and determine her feelings. And then decide if you want to ask her about going out together while dressed.

[Tawne]

Is your eldest daughter a full adult, then she can make the decision herself. On a biological level your daughter is related to you by blood and your wife is not, she will most likely support you most, can always ask.

[Marcelle]

I agree with Tawne, if your daughter is an adult and she knows about your dressing then she can make up her own mind. If she doesn't know about your dressing, I would definitely take the time to explain it to her before inviting her for a girls night out . . . she may need time to accept and asking her right away might put her on the spot.

The one caveat I would add, if your daughter is an adult with a good relationship with your wife, I still would not hide this from your wife. It might put unnecessary strain on your daughter's own relationship with her mother.

While we need to be true to ourselves, I wholeheartedly believe that we are not the only numbers in this equation and we need to ensure we see to the needs of those we love as well. Hate to show my Sci-Fi nerdy side but to quote a somewhat famous Vulcan . . . "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few" Or in this case "the one".

Please be careful as you approach this and good luck in whatever decision you make.

Hugs

Isha

[Sarah Beth]

There is a lot here you are not saying so information is lacking. The age of your daughter is one thing we don't know and another is what is your relationship with your wife when you are not dressed. The number one thing here is your daughter needs to be an adult. Then you have to really consider your wife's feelings about you going out with her like this. I could foresee this not only further complicating your relationship with your wife but creating issues between her and your daughter as well.

[kimdl93]

Don't. Wait for your wife to come around. And,then make it an afternoon for coffee.

[Being Paige]

hey thanks for all the replies, My oldest daughter is 23 and she knows all about my dressing. I don't know that I would actually ask her or not, just looking for some feedback. My wife and I have a great relationship otherwise and have been married 25yrs and together for over 30 years so I say were pretty solid. Again thanks for all of the replies.

[Barbra P]

My youngest Daughter, now thirty, is very supportive; my Wife is more tolerant than supportive. My Daughter has gone with me to some of the dinner meetings with my TG Support Group; my Wife went once and preferred that my Daughter accompany me after that. My Daughter has gone shopping with Barbra on a few occasions and again my Wife preferred not to go. I’m very appreciative of the support from my Daughter, just wish that my Wife was more like my Daughter.

[kathyw]

i wouldnt ask unless your wife is ok with it.your putting yorself first and her last and that a no no.

[Leah Lynn]

My daughter knows about me and that I go to a GNO every month. When talking with her about these a couple months ago, she thought maybe she should come along as a chaparone. A couple of the girls thought that might be fun. Maybe.

My being a widower, though, negates me from casting a vote on this issue. But it could be a lot of fun.

Hugs,
Leah

[Julia Welch]

Really? .... why would you risk your daughter being ridiculed? ... very selfish IMO, even if your daughter is old enough to make the decision ...

[Beverley Sims]

I would not pit your daughter against your wife, that is asking for trouble.

[AllieSF]

Thanks for the clarification Paige. I believe that your daughter would be able to more than handle it if she really wanted to go out with you. I still think that it is a good idea to talk with Mom first to avoid a potentially avoidable issue.

Julia, Why do you think that she will be ridiculed? I go out about 2 times a week every where,and I have only heard some cat calls, like a woman would receive, maybe 2-3 times. I think that you are being overly dramatic. The daughter is an adult and should be more than capable of handling that situation if it ever arises.

[Tina_gm]

I am going to say that this is likely not a good idea. Unless your daughter specifically requests this herself, I wouldn't. She may accept that you dress, but you are her father first and foremost. Only if she becomes so comfortable and would request a girls day or night out would I IMO find this to be ok. Wife's concerns must also be taken into consideration, especially if she is the mother of your daughter.

[MonctonGirl]

Why not take her on a shopping trip to another city or some better shopping spot outside of town ( where her own friends won't see you )
and stay two nights .... the one day in the room you can do the makeup thing - shop - then undo it all.

Of course .... you present your condition FIRST .... so it's not manipulation.

"I'd sure like to do a girl's day shopping with you with me en-femme --- what would you think about doing that with me in (location)?
We could stay the night, the next day I'll get done up and we'll go shopping, then come back and undo for the drive home.
I'll pay for the hotel and $XXX for your shopping. Of course I'll need you to help me know what to buy! You up for that?"

[Julia Welch]

I didn't say she would be ridiculed, I said she would be at risk of it ...