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View Full Version : The cost of starting HRT



AnitaH
09-02-2013, 09:01 PM
Last time I posted here (or anywhere on this site) I was just getting ready to start my HRT. I've not posted here because only in the last week or so have I gotten an I-net connection again. Boy have I missed the on-line support.

It's been 4 months now since I began HRT and I must profess my experience has been much like many others here. My mental state has leveled off, some breast growth is apparent and if I'm not happy at least I can say I am content for the first time in my life. I'm on my way to being who I've always needed to be but never thought was possible. I'm not full time yet but I am working towards that end. I now carry a purse all the time, usually the same purse in both modes. I wear bracelets and rings every day. I have let my hair grow out and now can go out as Anita without needing a wig. I have had several discussions with most of my family and most of them are at least understanding. I started laser hair removal on my face and just today had my ears pierced. (a dream for several years but was not possible then) The days that I'm not working I spend as Anita. As Anita I've done what business I've needed to do. Had to show my male ID at several business and sign my male name a number of times. Not one person has made any comments about it. I don't have a timetable yet for full transition but I'm expecting sometime during the first half of next year. I'm living (at least part-time) the dream of decades but never thought would be possible. But it's been costly.

The cost aren't necessarily measured in monetary value. The medications have proven to be very reasonable although the costs of facial hair removal can be significant. At least I never had very thick or quick growing facial hair. (I'm grateful for that) The day before I began HRT I was asked to resign from my position in the church. As a result of that I lost my home (living in church owned housing) my transportation (again church owned) and my pension. (I'm a bit to old to be losing that) Although the church didn't revoke my membership and they still welcome the male me I've come to realize that there is no room there for Anita. Since I am Anita I've had to leave the church I've been a member of all my life. I really miss being a part of that church and miss my friends their but I have found a new church home that welcomes and supports Anita. I've found a new job with an employer that claims to value and support all their employees, guess I'll be testing that in the near future. I've moved, by myself, to a small apartment in a new town. My wife who understands and supports me still desires to minister in that church plus she also realizes that she isn't a lesbian and didn't marry a woman. This has meant that we have had to separate and now live apart. This caused me the greatest sadness.

In this state there are no protections for transgender individuals. I can still be legally fired from my new job for no better reason that the fact that I am transgendered, even if transition were not an issue. Likewise the apartment manager could put me out for the same reason.

The cost of starting HRT can be high for some and I know others have paid a greater price than I have. But this is something I know I must do. I must become me. I must allow me to exist. I cannot go back to the darkness that was destroying me in the past. If I were not to pursue this course, walk this path it would be to my destruction. I know most of you on this board understand this need.

Barbara Ella
09-02-2013, 10:58 PM
Anita, yes, the true and total cost of starting anything that we must start cannot be arrived at. It is an ever continuing, running tab. The initiation of HRT is indeed the kickoff point everyone can point to, for good or bad. I am so sorry that your expenses have included so many setbacks. I pray that the peace you are finding can offset some of those expenses. take it to the back dear.

Hugs,

Barbara

dreamer_2.0
09-02-2013, 11:22 PM
Yikes....I actually was hoping this post was about the monetary costs of HRT (quite curious for future reference), but these other "expenses" are much higher.
I'm really sorry to hear about all this happening simply because you're trying to find peace and happiness...

arbon
09-03-2013, 12:47 AM
Sorry for all the heartache you have had to go through, transitioning can be a hard thing to go through, sometimes brutal

Just have to stay committed and take it a day at a time, and lots of deep breaths !

If you are transsexual you probably have more protections in terms of employment than you realize with the EEOC, more than most employers realize

Cheryl123
09-03-2013, 05:36 AM
Sorry Anita for all the trouble you are having, Regarding employment protection, itbis true that you cannot be fired because of your gender identity. The problem is that in most states employers can fire without cause, and you'd have to prove that was the reason you were dismissed. Regarding housing you have some protection. A lease cannot be terminated because of your gender identity, but they may choose not to renew. I'd there is a legal aide society in you town it's good to inquired about these matters. Good luck and lots of love.

I Am Paula
09-03-2013, 05:37 AM
You have certainly discovered the hidden costs of transition. I hope you can grow contentment into full blown happiness, as at this point you deserve it.
HRT has brought me a peace and contentment that outweighs the setbacks. I hope in time you will find the same.

Janelle_C
09-03-2013, 10:01 AM
I'm so sorry to hear about how much pain you have had. I'm also 55 and started HRT 3 months ago. When I made the decision I had to be willing to loose everything. I was very fortunate. It's terrible that you have to pay such a high cost to be who you are. I wish for you all the inner peace that you need Janelle

Dawn cd
09-03-2013, 11:24 AM
Anita, you're a very brave person. The human "costs" of transition are more expensive than the cash costs, and you seem to be bearing them with great fortitude. You report them, but you don't complain about them. I'm happy you've found a new church community to support you.

LeaP
09-03-2013, 12:38 PM
I'm sorry, Anita - those are heavy losses.

Nikki A.
09-03-2013, 02:30 PM
I would think that NY has TG protection laws in regards to jobs and living arraingments.

AnitaH
09-04-2013, 07:04 AM
Thank you all for the good wishes. When making the decision to start HRT, like Janell_c I had to be willing to lose everything and I knew that was a real possibility. But yes the peace and contentment I have already experienced makes these losses much easier to bare. HRT has improved my mental state greatly. Becoming who I really am has made me a better person and has helped to relieve other issues in my life. Yes it was worth it. Dreamer_grl I'll take note of that for future reference. It may make for an interesting post as I get closer to full time and my RLE.

Anita