AnitaH
09-02-2013, 09:01 PM
Last time I posted here (or anywhere on this site) I was just getting ready to start my HRT. I've not posted here because only in the last week or so have I gotten an I-net connection again. Boy have I missed the on-line support.
It's been 4 months now since I began HRT and I must profess my experience has been much like many others here. My mental state has leveled off, some breast growth is apparent and if I'm not happy at least I can say I am content for the first time in my life. I'm on my way to being who I've always needed to be but never thought was possible. I'm not full time yet but I am working towards that end. I now carry a purse all the time, usually the same purse in both modes. I wear bracelets and rings every day. I have let my hair grow out and now can go out as Anita without needing a wig. I have had several discussions with most of my family and most of them are at least understanding. I started laser hair removal on my face and just today had my ears pierced. (a dream for several years but was not possible then) The days that I'm not working I spend as Anita. As Anita I've done what business I've needed to do. Had to show my male ID at several business and sign my male name a number of times. Not one person has made any comments about it. I don't have a timetable yet for full transition but I'm expecting sometime during the first half of next year. I'm living (at least part-time) the dream of decades but never thought would be possible. But it's been costly.
The cost aren't necessarily measured in monetary value. The medications have proven to be very reasonable although the costs of facial hair removal can be significant. At least I never had very thick or quick growing facial hair. (I'm grateful for that) The day before I began HRT I was asked to resign from my position in the church. As a result of that I lost my home (living in church owned housing) my transportation (again church owned) and my pension. (I'm a bit to old to be losing that) Although the church didn't revoke my membership and they still welcome the male me I've come to realize that there is no room there for Anita. Since I am Anita I've had to leave the church I've been a member of all my life. I really miss being a part of that church and miss my friends their but I have found a new church home that welcomes and supports Anita. I've found a new job with an employer that claims to value and support all their employees, guess I'll be testing that in the near future. I've moved, by myself, to a small apartment in a new town. My wife who understands and supports me still desires to minister in that church plus she also realizes that she isn't a lesbian and didn't marry a woman. This has meant that we have had to separate and now live apart. This caused me the greatest sadness.
In this state there are no protections for transgender individuals. I can still be legally fired from my new job for no better reason that the fact that I am transgendered, even if transition were not an issue. Likewise the apartment manager could put me out for the same reason.
The cost of starting HRT can be high for some and I know others have paid a greater price than I have. But this is something I know I must do. I must become me. I must allow me to exist. I cannot go back to the darkness that was destroying me in the past. If I were not to pursue this course, walk this path it would be to my destruction. I know most of you on this board understand this need.
It's been 4 months now since I began HRT and I must profess my experience has been much like many others here. My mental state has leveled off, some breast growth is apparent and if I'm not happy at least I can say I am content for the first time in my life. I'm on my way to being who I've always needed to be but never thought was possible. I'm not full time yet but I am working towards that end. I now carry a purse all the time, usually the same purse in both modes. I wear bracelets and rings every day. I have let my hair grow out and now can go out as Anita without needing a wig. I have had several discussions with most of my family and most of them are at least understanding. I started laser hair removal on my face and just today had my ears pierced. (a dream for several years but was not possible then) The days that I'm not working I spend as Anita. As Anita I've done what business I've needed to do. Had to show my male ID at several business and sign my male name a number of times. Not one person has made any comments about it. I don't have a timetable yet for full transition but I'm expecting sometime during the first half of next year. I'm living (at least part-time) the dream of decades but never thought would be possible. But it's been costly.
The cost aren't necessarily measured in monetary value. The medications have proven to be very reasonable although the costs of facial hair removal can be significant. At least I never had very thick or quick growing facial hair. (I'm grateful for that) The day before I began HRT I was asked to resign from my position in the church. As a result of that I lost my home (living in church owned housing) my transportation (again church owned) and my pension. (I'm a bit to old to be losing that) Although the church didn't revoke my membership and they still welcome the male me I've come to realize that there is no room there for Anita. Since I am Anita I've had to leave the church I've been a member of all my life. I really miss being a part of that church and miss my friends their but I have found a new church home that welcomes and supports Anita. I've found a new job with an employer that claims to value and support all their employees, guess I'll be testing that in the near future. I've moved, by myself, to a small apartment in a new town. My wife who understands and supports me still desires to minister in that church plus she also realizes that she isn't a lesbian and didn't marry a woman. This has meant that we have had to separate and now live apart. This caused me the greatest sadness.
In this state there are no protections for transgender individuals. I can still be legally fired from my new job for no better reason that the fact that I am transgendered, even if transition were not an issue. Likewise the apartment manager could put me out for the same reason.
The cost of starting HRT can be high for some and I know others have paid a greater price than I have. But this is something I know I must do. I must become me. I must allow me to exist. I cannot go back to the darkness that was destroying me in the past. If I were not to pursue this course, walk this path it would be to my destruction. I know most of you on this board understand this need.