View Full Version : Do you relate to this ?
Christina Kay
09-03-2013, 07:18 PM
I have never really gotten along with the guys. Have always been more apt to be
Chatting it up with the girls. My SO has always noticed that I am better talking to women than the guys. Always felt like the outsider, with the guys. Never felt the need to do the male bonding thing. So could my mind be more female than male? Is there such a thing? Don't get me wrong this is only becoming apparent to me, in recent months. And when you start to show your inner female caring side, do you get Why are you being so nice? Have always clammed up and been the bad boy hard ass guy. More so to keep Her (Aretha) from showing through. Letting her out , and letting my emotions show. Has been ,,,well I never felt more at peace and at ease than when I act more feminie. My SO wanted to know if my Doctor gave me something at my last physical. She has noticed the change and hopefully I can ease her into enjoying this new side of me. Thanks for listening, hugs. :battingeyelashes:
kimdl93
09-03-2013, 07:28 PM
My two closest friends, besides my wife, are women. But I do have male friends too. One of my female friends did tell me I was "just like one of the girls", which I took as a great compliment.
Courtney . J
09-03-2013, 07:43 PM
i feel the same way ,. when guys around i can never relate to the topic being discussed and feel like a outsider looking in ,. but when girls are around i just gab gab gab lol :heehee:
Rachelakld
09-03-2013, 08:32 PM
Most of my life, so much easier just being one of the girls
Marcelle
09-03-2013, 10:58 PM
Can't really say I relate completely. I have always been able to skirt (no pun intended) both sides. I was raised in a very female house (mother and 2 sisters . . . father passed away when I was young) and all my cousins were girls. So I grew up very much part of a feminine sorority (sort to speak). As such, I have always been able to talk and relate to women in friendly conversation. However, I had very strong male role models (three uncles) who included me in the male world of sports, hunting and all things macho, so conversation in the male world is quite fluid as well. I still like sports, not so much hunting (go figure considering my career choice) and all things mechanical.
When I am in mixed company (my work mates and their wives) I can easily discuss things with either gender. But I find these days, you are just as likely to find women wanting to discuss cars as you are to find men discussing vacuuming . . .yes true story. Picture five service men out shooting on the range discussing how vacuuming is calming and of course you have to be using a Dyson because it is "way cool".
My wife and I have come to the conclusion that the Dyson is the HUMVEE of the vacuum world for men. :heehee:
Hugs
Isha
IwishIwasTracy
09-03-2013, 11:34 PM
I find I really don't fit into either world all that well. When hanging out with the guys I don't have anything to add. I don't hunt fish or drink beer. And when I am around woman I can't relate there either.
tracy
Lynn Marie
09-03-2013, 11:58 PM
Even though I don't hunt, hate beer, and drag expensive lures and other hardware through the water in a futile attempt to fish, I still feel quite comfortable with men. It probably helps that I'm a competitive handgun shooter, exparatrooper, sport parachutist, and other silly assed stuff trying to prove I was all man! I've always enjoyed hanging out with women, I just thought it was being charming! The older I get, the more "charming" I seem to get. Still look pretty good for a "classy old broad". How's that for manliness?
ReineD
09-04-2013, 12:42 AM
I wonder how many men feel like you do. I've had male friends all my life, some of them quite close, and they've never had a difficult time talking to me or the other ladies present, about a number of things. Maybe men act differently when they're just around the guys? Maybe there is a "guy code" to follow when no women are present? Maybe this is why men love to talk to women ... they can just relax and stop posturing. :)
My SO doesn't hunt, fish, is not into cars, sports, does not drink, etc. But, he's a nerd (in a good way), and he has found other male nerds to be friends with, who also aren't into all the stereotypical guy stuff.
Frédérique
09-04-2013, 01:11 AM
My SO has always noticed that I am better talking to women than the guys. Always felt like the outsider, with the guys. Never felt the need to do the male bonding thing. So could my mind be more female than male? Is there such a thing?
Could be, depending on what you choose to believe. I always had an easier time talking to women, too, but I never thought much about it. I found men, of the male bonding sort, to be kinda insecure at all times, and being among them would magnify my own insecurity. Women would put me at ease, and often say some surprisingly insightful things, dealing from a verbal deck that most men would find intimidating. I enjoy feeling like an outsider, but women would accept me regardless. My male friends were a bit embarrassing, by contrast…
:straightface:
Cheryl T
09-04-2013, 02:36 AM
I've always been more comfortable in the company of women. I've never really been into all that macho stuff, the puffery, the posturing.
I've always had to be careful also not to show too much interest in feminine things like clothing so as not to give away my position so to speak.
noeleena
09-04-2013, 03:22 AM
Hi,
I had issues around men unless they were / are close friends plus thier wifes, i have been around men as you know because of work yet how i talked with them was very hard i tryed to though hated it unless it was about things i had an understanding of, i did learn about cars trucks & farm machines & gear, work related, so was a need to know type issue, was okay,
Yet to converce in other matters was not so good, or my term mens talk. & it related to us = female i was gone,
I learnt a lot just not relate to men. funny as , as im writeing this my hackles are going up to me its going into be weary of men. so no its not a comfortable place for myself .
Hey i am trying to be better at getting on with men as iv said else were, spos i do okay at a distance . oh well thats me,
...noeleena...
Beverley Sims
09-04-2013, 03:23 AM
I have always related to women better than men.
I never think about it and just let it take it's course.
Christina Kay
09-04-2013, 06:26 AM
Thanks for ALL the helpful insight. Isha i can relate to your life growing up . Mine was similar but 3 sisters.. And i agree about the Dyson LOL Hugs
Jodie_Lynn
09-04-2013, 06:40 AM
I have also found it hard to talk with guys, mostly because I have zero interest or understanding of sports or cars and how they work. Where we have common interests though ( sci-fi, games, art, history and politics) I can talk and participate as much as any guy.
Sadly though, I don't often get the chance to join in the discussion that the women have, except in an off-hand, 'guyish' sort of way.
Laura'sCloud
09-04-2013, 06:56 AM
I find it easier to be friends and chat openly with girls than guys, a few years ago if i was hanging around with the guys i would always feel like an outsider to their conversations.
mariehart
09-04-2013, 12:38 PM
Oh yes absolutely. I wasn't that aware of it in my early years as I could get on well with most people male or female. But I really don't have many male friends and usually they would make friends with me rather than the other way around. Most of my friends are female and I'm quite comfortable in all female company. When company is mixed it's not the same, particularly when there's just one other man. He will naturally gravitate towards me and I end up bored out of my mind.
In my last two jobs I was always 'one of the girls' although not always aware of it. It became clear once when I was chatting with the gang of girls. When a man appeared they all shut up and the tone changed completely.
I came to realise eventually that I don't particularly relate to most men and their interests. Of course that was obvious to everyone who ever got to know me even though I thought I was hiding my feminine side brilliantly.
ReineD
09-04-2013, 12:54 PM
I have also found it hard to talk with guys, mostly because I have zero interest or understanding of sports or cars and how they work. Where we have common interests though ( sci-fi, games, art, history and politics) I can talk and participate as much as any guy.
That's exactly it. I'm the same way with both men AND women. I find it much easier to talk to someone who shares similar conversational interests as I do. For example, I'm not into Manga and I'd have a hard time talking at length with someone whose lifestyle revolves around it, whether they are a guy or a girl.
Emjay
09-04-2013, 10:26 PM
Maybe men act differently when they're just around the guys? Maybe there is a "guy code" to follow when no women are present? Maybe this is why men love to talk to women ... they can just relax and stop posturing. :)
Some men act VERY differently when no women are present. At least some of the guys I know anyway. Of course, some more so than others. I'm not guy-bashing, but it does happen. It's kind of embarrassing actually.
Me personally, I'm much more comfortable around women than other men. Always have been, but then I don't do a lot of "guy oriented" stuff. I'm dreading fall coming up as it will be hunting season (again)......... yay..... nonstop talk about sitting in the woods and killing various animals at work.
I think I probably fall more into the "nerd" category too. At least "male me" does. :)
Yes, you are totally on the mark here. I always feel 100 percent more comfortable hanging out with the girls and I also feel like I am faking it with the guys! LOL :0)
Sejd
Sandyfluff
09-04-2013, 11:45 PM
As a Child I never undestood why boys didn't played freely with the girls, school kinda forced that into me (wich always felt bad)and whenever I played with girls I was very comfortable with it, but as I grew up I became more manly and yet never felt like fitting entirely... so now I feel as an outsider with both sides >_< But I do relate with that feeling of inner peace of being on my female side :)
Rachel Morley
09-05-2013, 12:18 AM
Always felt like the outsider, with the guys. Never felt the need to do the male bonding thing.
I have often felt like an outsider with most guys. Not all, but most and for sure I have never done the male bonding thing. I hate that, but mostly because the male bonding thing is usually involving things I have no interest in. I don't hunt, or fish, or watch or play sports, I'm not into cars or go out drinking and believe it or not, except for other CDers I don't even have any male friends. People I work with are acquaintances not friends. All my life though I have always had friends that were girls. Before I got married there were two BFFs who I spent a lot of time with on a platonic level, both of them women (who had boyfriends).
SaraNZ
09-05-2013, 12:37 AM
I’m much more comfortable around women as well, but it does depend on the actual person in question. I’m not out to any friends but I’m quite comfortable talking nail polish, hair, fashion, make up, etc with the girls...it just doesn’t bother me - maybe they think I’m metro-sexual?!? That’s not to say I cant converse with guys, just some of their topics are kinda boring to me where conversely a general girl chin wag I can happily waste away time. I think my personality is quite adaptable and I think it's because I hadn’t figured out who I was for a long time so I guess I always moulded myself to others to get along...
lady_croatia
10-18-2013, 09:43 AM
Same here :)
Megan72
10-18-2013, 09:47 AM
This is my experience as well, I think it is more because I enjoy the same things as many woman do not necessarily that I am boy or girl, to me as with many others it's about common interest. Megan
Tina_gm
10-18-2013, 11:17 AM
I can and do relate and socialize well with other guys. But I do get a similar sense around women. Sometimes I feel more comfortable around them than men, but other times more comfortable around men doing ritualistic male bonding type stuff. What my wife has brought to me attention is that emotionally I tend to be more feminine. Not really in the crying department, but just in ways of being more observant, in the ways that I care about things, attention to detail, being concerned with how I am being regarded for the things I do, how and what others think of me. How I attach emotions with past events moreso than what most other guys do.
Chickhe
10-18-2013, 12:58 PM
I can relate to some of it, growing up I felt like an outsider many times, but now I just don't care... I never felt comfortable around anyone who is either acting stupid or making fun of anyone else... goes equally for stupid guy tricks or a woman who is gossiping.
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