More work to do

[Kate Simmons]

I had thought I was winding down. I am retired from professional life (more or less) as I had just "retired" for the third time last year. I can pretty much do what I want to do since I have pension and SS. I was also semi-retired from CDing or so I thought. I had come to the point of finally being able to enjoy being a guy which I honestly never did before. I was kind of liking it. Not too long ago, however, things picked back up with my CDing in the interest of assisting my friends and others. I'm finding there are a lot of positive things I can do yet with regard to the TG community, such as awareness and social interactions. Evidently this is part of my purpose in life, although I never really considered that. Helping others seems to be my thing though, along with a lot of satisfaction in doing that. Thanks to my friends here for their positive contributions in this regard as well. What I'm seeing is that our efforts really do make a difference to promote awareness of dressing and TG issues. :)

[BillieAnneJean]

Kate,
Congradulations! You have reached what may be a higher level on life's journey. You are ready to be a part of the solution.

There is a lot each of us can do for the community, and not just TS or TG or CDer *. Start a social or support group for Cders, it is a lot of work but well worth it. We have had people come to our group here in Grand Rapids, ranging in emotions from tearful to thrilled because they finally found acceptance. We coached one person from thoughts of suicide. The TS (M-F, F-M) people had little support around where I live so I planted the seeds for a group that I am not even allowed to attend because I am not TS. There is a wonderful LGBT organization in Grand Rapids, if there is one in your area, get to know them. Some of their members are absolutely wonderful, perhaps borne of adversity. Some have a fabulous sense of humor. All seem to be pleased to get even a simple smile and warm greeting. Even the simple act of going OUT enfemme * will train the public to become more tolerant. Maybe even more tolerant * to those who by no actions of their own, have something that makes them different. Think * very short, autistic, down's, very tall, disabled veterns, etc. There are lots of things we can do. I found that facilitating the Grand Rapids Crossdresser Social Group and writing are some things that I can do even though I never knew I had it in me. You probably are too far away to attend our IN and OUT enfemme gatherings but you can see my articles in Frock at http://frockmagazine.com/frock/#/44/ and in The Network News at http://www.grlgbt.org/the-network-news/issues-of-the-network-news/ I am organizing a gathering for the Douglas Halloween Parade (adult themed), and gatherings for Halloween weekend. I never imagined that there was something I could do. But I can and it is a lot of work but fun.

So I thought that Cding would be me in a dress and heels, surfing the net, hiding with the window blinds closed. But I found that there is a big world out there, lots of things to experience. All I have to do is sneak past my nosy neighbors. Through no great quality of my own, I may be able to give back a little, help someone, be heard. Maybe there is a reason I am CDing after all.

Get OUT, go to a Group, have FUN! Experience LIFE! Do something to create memories you can enjoy when it seems like it will never quit raining. I am having FUN!!!!!
Billie

[Cynthia Anne]

I guess that is more proof that oneself can't change who they are! You can run but, you can't hide! Have fun!!!

[Beverley Sims]

Kate,
I would say that every time you have retired dressing has taken a hiatus.
My theory has always been that other exciting events do take away the attraction of dressing for a short time.
"Then it returns with a vengeance."

[SherriePall]

Kate -- Good for you on your most recent retirement. It's good to see that you are putting all that spare time to good use, working to make things better for others. I do little outreaches whenever I go shopping en drab. Hopefully, my little bit helps to erase the misconceptions many have of us. That said, keep up the good work.

[Nikki A.]

Kate you'll never "retire". You have too much energy and intellect not to use it. Many good wishes my friend.

[Kate Simmons]

It isn't my intention to start any kind of group. As I've seen that while they have good intentions, much gets lost in the translation with groups. I tend to help others one on one as needed and requested by them and some times that is evident by what many post on here. I don't consider myself any kind of "guru" either or try to convince someone that they are "this, that or the other thing", they have to determine who they are themselves. I'm more like a facilitator to help others recognize their feelings and show them they don't have to be afraid or ashamed of them and it's okay to express them. I do sometimes take the initiative to extend myself to others but have learned over the years that my good intentions to help can sometimes be mistaken for ulterior motives. The best way to show is by example and sometimes we have to take a chance to be ourselves. Nothing ventured, nothing gained I always say and if we never try, we may never know. Either way, I will always be here to help my friends. You can take that to the bank as Tony Baretta used to say.;):battingeyelashes::)

[Jaylyn]

Kate congratulations on the retirement. I retired at the age of 52. I am now 63 and on Sept 9 will be 64. I also found at first when I retired I was consumed by all the male things ( I call them) that I always wanted to do more of while I was working. Examples hunting, fishing, and camping. I did just that forthe first five years of mt retirement. I was totally consumed in fishing tournaments hunting in other states and every summer my wife and I would leave and spend a couple months on the beach and salt water fishing the oil derricks in the Gulf of Mexico. All this time I just did not really want to dress or be any feminine. Then for some crazy reason I had a feeling I wanted to dress again except this time my wife wanted to help me seek out my female side. It will hit like a freight train and now I am back into dressing deeper than I have ever been. I still do all the retirement stuff I did for five years but now I find my dress time can be mixed in also. I admire your attitude about helping others. You will receive more from that than you will put into it. Brings back a saying my mom always told me one can't out give God. The more you give it seems the greater amount you receive back in lots of ways. Even a non believer in a greater being seems to feel the pleasures of giving yourself to a cause and helping others. If you are cut out for the helping others then I promise you will be blessed greatly for it. I admire you for your work.

[Jorja]

Kate,
You do not have to start a group or lead a revolution to help others. There are many young TG/TS in almost every town in the US and I am sure around the world. They are begging for some instruction on how to get started with pre-transition issues. Go make friends with one. Answer their questions, show them where to find the answers to their questions, help them understand this thing we call the Transgender Umbrella, let them know what they might expect dressing and going out if that is their desire, or just go be a friend. There are so many things one could do to help in the community. Find an area you like and have experience in then develop a way to help the community with your knowledge and expertise.

[kimdl93]

I'm glad to hear that you've found renewed interest in both CDing and in helping the TG community. Your experience and maturity are invaluable to those struggling to understand and accept themselves and to a society learning to accept us.

[paulaprimo]

you are truly an amazing and caring person!! :)

[Kate Simmons]

Thanks Paula. I just do what I can. That's all any of us can do really. Also thanks to everyone else for your thoughtful responses.:battingeyelashes::)