Have you and your SO ever discussed what would happen ifyour SO wanted to transition?

[Leona]

Basically, there was a thread here asking how you'd feel if your SO wanted to dress up as a man, and my wife and I just talked about it, and not for the first time (we first discussed how I'd feel if she were a CDer way before I joined these forums).

So, the question is, have you had this conversation with your SO? Obviously I also want GGs to answer with whether or not they've had this conversation with the CD. :) How did it go? If not, why not?

[candydawn75]

My wife and I have. Well basically it goes both ways. She dresses and times. As far as we are concerned, if she is ok with me doing it why wouldn't I be? She likes my clothes and is totally not into it as much as I am, but has bought boxers and shorts that she likes. We enjoy it!! I say go for it!!

[ReineD]

I have no idea how my SO would take it if I were FtM. I dare say that he wouldn't have fallen in love with me to begin with, but I'll have to ask.

[Beverley Sims]

My SO is happy being a subservient housewife, she also supports me to some degree and we did agree that neither of us would transition anyway. :)

[Tina B.]

I'm not planning on transitioning and being a straight guy, if she where to cross dress that would be cool, maybe even fun, but Transition, that's no game, that for real. I don't think she would stay if I where to transition, and I'm sure I'd go if she did.

[JenniferR771]

Not sure. I think I am OK with occasional FTM crossdressing. I think I am Ok with slightly masculine women. But highly masculine women would probably scare me.

Of course, some women are actually men. Its called "Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome". The body does not respond to the influence of testosterone. Rare. Some women who have a fully woman's anatomy, actually turn out to have male XY chromosomes. They cannot bear children.

[sometimes_miss]

Again, you're preaching to the choir here. Like some of the supportive GG's, I'd be as supportive as I could, but the relationship would wind up being as friends. I'm a really screwed up person, and I need to be physically turned on by the woman I'm with or I can't function sexually. So a masculine female would be a no go for me. BTW, I do have gay female friends at work, three of which are sort of the 'husband' in their relationships. They're very nice people. But not physically attractive at all in any feminine way, at least, not to me. One of them knows about me; we had gotten into a discussion about dating difficulties when she was single a few years ago; and she told me something I hadn't ever considered: She'd found that nearly all gay women are really, really nuts (she included herself in this, and went on to describe why). She said consider all the things that a normal straight woman does that drive men crazy, then multiply that by about 10. It made me really think; could I have handled being a gay female? Probably not any better than being a crossdressing male. Turns out life sucks for pretty much everyone.

[Tina_gm]

In the beginning, some 9 months ago, my wife asked me what I would think if she cut her hair short in a mens style (Iam balding and shave my head) and if she stopped shaving her legs, would I like that.... or would I actually prefer that.... (the gay fear). I am attracted to femininity. So, no, I would not like it. I did tell her that it would not be a deal breaker if she felt she had to because of me, but that I would not prefer her to be more masculine or to make herself moreso. I guess this question is why I am empathetic to my wife and the other SO's. It is hypocritical in a way when you come down to it. We feminize ourselves, at least temporarily, yet many of us would prefer our wives not to make the opposite changes that we make.

[Leona]

I knew I'd have to clarify. :)

So, have you HAD this conversation, and how did it go?

Secondly, consider, for example, what my wife deals with with me. I'm often quite masculine, right on the edge of stereotypical macho man (I work in a shop, after all). And then there are times when I'm VERY feminine. She really sees extremes. So she gets the MAN she's totally attracted to, and then she gets that same man, only being really feminine (which she's oddly attracted to, but irrelevant for this).

So, say your SO isn't a masculine woman, but instead sometimes she's downright feminine, and other times she passes as a man.

The other thread is for asking hypothetically how you'd feel about it. THIS THREAD is asking specifically if you two have TALKED about it. If you haven't, and you're willing to bring it up, then please do so, and THEN answer.