If you went out en femme and were assaulted, would you report it?

[victoria]

Not that this has happened to me personally while dressed, but I've been thinking recently because when I go out, I dress up as a jogger and am usually out late at night or early morning running around the city or through trails. If something were to happnen to me, I am not sure what I would do. Would reporting an assault for example, potentially out me to the police or would they not even care about that type of thing? Only a few people know about my dressing and I am really in the closet about this which is partly why I am posting about this.

Thanks all.

[TeresaCD]

I'd like to think I would, Victoria. Knowing that there are police members in my area trained to deal with us specifically (GLOW officers) certainly helps..

[CD_blue]

Yes I would report it as soon as I possibly could. Then again I feel little to no shame for being a cross dresser so would have no issues with doing so. If the police decided to laugh at me after I just got beat up well I would be more than happy to see them in court once I filed a lawsuit.

[Chickhe]

I once had a lot of fear and worried about something like that and it is important to decide in advance what you should do if read, insulted, assaulted, propositioned, arrested...

My advice would be to first avoid danger, prepare for it and second let nobody get away with any criminal act. My reasoning is this... criminals take the path of least resistance to get what they desire. If you let people get away with crimes they come back for more and their friends see how easy it is and take up the same attitude and the problem grows quickly...you see it in run down neighborhoods that where once prospering, one bad apple moves in and other riff raff seem to find them and hang out together then the real crimes start. But, it takes one or two citizens to stand up and a few arrests and the neighborhood quickly improves. so...anyway, related to CDing, it is the same. You must be aware what is going on around you. Take down license plate numbers of anyone who follows you and call the police rather than accept any abuse, leave a trail so someone you know can find you if you don't return home on time... The police will not 'out' you, in fact if they do, you can sue them. As a witness or victim, you don't even have to give them your real name. I would put your trust in the police. Keep a change of clothing with you. But, most important, being out in public means you may be discovered by someone you know, so you must be prepared for that. Learn to have no fear, shame guilt and have self confidence. Remember, you deserve respect and the same protection as anyone else, you are doing nothing wrong so be a leader and set the example of what needs to be done.

[heatherdress]

Don't go out running late at night. Nothing good happens along empty and dark jogger trails late at night. Mugging and accidents - no one to help. Why risk it?

If you must, run in populated, well lit, "safe" neighborhoods, with someone else, with a cell phone.

Definately call for help if anything happens.

[noeleena]

Hi,

My advise is dont put your self in harms way, or go with someone else, would be better, i did running so i know what your saying,

yes you should report it, no ?'s as to why not . Iv been involved with our Police for some time now okay im a bit different does not matter,

I have been involved with people who were abusing others, in one case a guy was abusing a female so i stepped in keeped them apart he thought he'd just walk over me to get to the female it dont work with me i keeped moveing him away . i got Jos to ring for the Police while Jos took her home our home & they took him away then helped the female ,

its not the first time so i do get involved i have other services as back up so yes dont ever be intimindated , dont ever think other wise, i work with others who have been abused & many dont report it , we dont have to take this from any man reguardless of who they are, spos im to involved with people . ( females ) to not do any thing ,

one thing i would do is tell some friend your out running & you ring them when your home at a certain time if you not then they can ring for help so you work out something to suit, plan the rout your takeing so they know were youll be, its just a back up.

...noeleena...

[MonctonGirl]

My biggest fear is driving and being stopped for ... minor traffic violation broken taillight, etc ... and getting thrown in jail ... wearing women's clothing.
I'm sure you can see the scene ... truly not sure if I'd be safer in with the men or with the butch and/or crazy women....but either way it would be bad
and certainly they'd put me with the men.

If I was assaulted ... I guess if I walked away from it ... nobody needs to know. If I didn't. someone would find out my secret.

The real question is ... would MY ASSAILANT report getting beaten up by a guy in a dress
or his nose rammed into his brain by the "woman" he tried to assault ( and in the latter case I'd be flattered that I passed. )

[AllieSF]

If you were assaulted in male mode, would you report it? Do the same thing if you were dressed as a female. No one, I repeat, no one has a right to abuse another human being. It just depends on how the abused reacts, no matter what mode, even a la mode!

[Beverley Sims]

If I had a good case I would report it.
In California, Yes.
In Mexico, no.

[Jodie_Lynn]

Would you hesitate to report your car as stolen, just because your bag of 'girly stuff' was in the trunk? Or fail to report that your home was burglarized, just because you had skirts hanging in your closet?

Assault is a crime. period, full stop.

It does not matter if the victim is male, female, black, white or purple. Perhaps you might get away from your assailant with minor injuries, but what about the creeps next victim? They might not be so lucky.

And, what if you do kick the creep's a$$ up to his shoulders? Maybe next time, he decides to use lethal force on the next poor soul that crosses his deranged path.

SOAPBOX TIME: By not reporting it, and PROSECUTING the attacker, we give tacit approval of anti-social behavior.

[noeleena]

Hi.

i know this is about clothes, does it really matter what you are wearing, ...NO...its about the person no one has the right to maim hurt or kill another yet the fact of life it does happen we have the Police to protect those of us who go about thier normal life why do we or should we have to put up with this kind of thing .

okay i know its quite different over your way companored to here in New Zealand yet we still have a few thugs of cause the bigger cites are far worse, still no reason not to report it,

...noeleena...

[Kate Simmons]

Although we may not be able to avoid this entirely, being aware of your surroundings and the area you run in is the key. Of course you would report any assault or attempted assault. Letting it go would just encourage them in the future.

[Marcelle]

Hi Victoria,

Great thread. Would I report it? I agree with the majority here, if I were in male mode, I would report. If I was en femme . . . hard call. Not being "out" sort to speak to the world around me I don't think I would ever be in that situation. But say it happened in my home (break-in, assault). I am quite sure I would be able to deal with an attacker with minimum aggression (there are plenty of ways to subdue without causing bodily damage). I agree with Jodie-Lynn on this point, if you can and decide to kick his &%$, then the next person he assaults or decides to vent anger on might not be so lucky. So I would subdue and yes, call the police. Would this mean I would have to out myself? I am hoping that the police would be sensitive to the situation and if not . . . guess I would have to deal at that time.

TeresaCD, you mentioned GLOW officers, this is an interesting concept. What exactly is their responsibility in such situations?

Hugs

Isha

[samanthasolo]

We all hope that something like that never happens! I do know that my wife probably worries about that scenario much more than I do. The one thing I agree with her on is if a situation were to arise is we would both try and remove ourselves from the situation and not be confrontational, but that really is in the event where there is the potential threat of violence. I really don't know how to answer this one other than saying, I am both a lady and a gentleman and I would probably have to report it regardless of what I was wearing! If I was dressed and this was to happen I would not be concerned about my own embarrassment of being found out, more so the perps condition after having the snot knocked out of him by a guy in a dress and heels having to explain to the authorities how he picked the wrong girl to victimize. Lol! I would have to defend myself

[Debb]

I have had a few contacts with police while cross-dressed, and they might care, but they have all been professional. They are for the most part all about stopping crime and helping people; sure, they might have a laugh at the ugly guy in the wig and poorly-chosen women's outfit, but they do their jobs anyway.

It's always important to have a sense of humor in one's work, after all :-)

Edited to add: Yes, I would report any assault, of any kind, immediately.

[Sheren Kelly]

Would I report it? Probably not, I would however consider calling the paramedics for whoever tried to assault me.
For me, being a lady ends at the threat of violence.

[Tina B.]

Sure you should report it, most police have been trained to behave when dealing with our type, don't worry about the report that the press gets and finding it in the morning paper that a man in women's clothing was mugged last night in a local park, John Doe has not responded to our request for an interview.
If your going out you have to face the fact When it's in the public space, it's not a private thing anymore. If your that worried, do what the rest of us chickens do and stay home.
Bad guys love to mug people that won't report it.

[Melissa in SE Tn]

Definitely not. The ridicule would be far worse than the criminal act.

[CarlaWestin]

If I were a victim of any crime, dressed or not, I would report it. Here's my inspiration (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHo3OtRsg5s).

[Tracii G]

Smartest thing is to keep yourself out of places where this could happen.Late at night on a dark jogging trail is not a safe place to be for anyone.
Always be vigilant and aware of your surroundings.
Yes I would report it.

[Melissa Rose]

Hell yes. If I do not report it, the perpetrator gets a free pass to harm someone else and it sends the message that I am not worthy of my rights and protections as a citizen and an individual. My lack of personal courage could endanger someone else. If I have enough courage to be out in public, I should have the courage to report crimes against myself or others. Would you not step forward and report a serious crime, be a witness or help a victim, even though you were cross dressed at the time? Would you let justice not be served or a victim suffer because of your potential embarrassment? Not doing the right thing only because you would be embarrassed is wrong in most cases (I hesitate to say all cases because rarely is any situation binary).

Fear is one of the things that allows bigots, racists, haters and other similar idiots to flourish. Perpetrators often depends on fear, embarrassment, vulnerability and victim blaming as part of their safety net. That safety net needs to be taken away. If you do not stand up for your own rights first, probably no one else will do it for you.

[wanagione]

I would report it. The more we sweep these types of actions, attacks, under the rug the more we become victims. We have a right to live our lives in peace.

[SherriePall]

Let me answer that question with a question. How would you feel if your assailant whom you did not report were to go on to seriously injure someone else later?

[5150 Girl]

I'd report it imidiately. But then again, I'm fully "out". However in or out, not withstanding, violent crime needs to be reported. What if you did nothing, and they escalated their attacks, (as criminals often do) and killed sombody next time.

[Shelly Preston]

I agree with those who say report it. Remember even if the police do not manage to catch them it makes them aware of where crime is being committed. Like others have said this could prevent the same thing happening to someone else in the future.

To those who say they would call an ambulance for the attacker. I would suggest it is not always as easy to fight off an attacker as they are suggesting. I would of course urge everyone to avoid dangerous situations as much as possible.

[Robertacd]

Would reporting an assault for example, potentially out me to the police or would they not even care about that type of thing? Only a few people know about my dressing and I am really in the closet about this which is partly why I am posting about this.


Assault is assault and the police would care about it, you should always report it.

[Amy Lynn3]

Victoria, you may want to consider something else. This happened to me. Like you, I was out jogging after dark. I stepped in a hole and fell. The pain was so bad I could not walk. I would have been easy prey for someone with bad intentions. After about a half an hour I made it home, but that taught me a lesson.....never jog in the dark. Had someone tried to hurt me, no matter how I was dressed I would call 911.

[Brooklyn]

I was, but it was minor, so I didn't report it. Maybe I should have? It was in a "safe place", with police nearby, so you just never know.

[giuseppina]

I agree with the "report it" opinions above unless reporting it would result in consequences to you from the local constabulary. If that were the case, I would seriously consider moving elsewhere.

[StephanieDragg]

I am fortunate I hang out dressed in nice areas that I don't feel this would happen, but if I was assaulted I would report it dressed or not, in all the years I've been doing this I found handling myself as a lady is best... I havent had an problems close to any one doing harm to me, a rude remark from a stranger usually gets a very coy lady like response that usually makes the person regret they said anything at all, a guy walking with his gf made a comment about a gay in a dress and I turned and said very politely "I'm sorry but your sweater is waaaaaaay more gay than my dress", then the gf smacked him on the harm and said I told you that hahaha

[paulaprimo]

i never told anybody about this because i was very embarrassed, but my second time out i was in a bar and being bothered by a partron.
i went outside to have a smoke and to get away from him. being a newbie i didn't want a confrontation or to draw attention to myself.
he came outside and started walking right towards me. stupid me thinking he wanted a light or wanted to apologize, was shocked when
he punched me right in the head. instinct took over, i hit him once, his face exploded and he fell to the ground. i was scared to death and just wanted
to get out of there. the last thing i wanted was for the cops to come and create a scene, but there were 2 other people out there and they must have called them. the station was just down the block so they arrived in what seemed liked seconds. the police wanted my ID and i was having visions of my picture in the morning paper. thinking i killed this guy as he hasn't moved a muscle and me covered in his blood, i can not express how humiliated i felt. the guy finally came to as he was put in the ambulance,
screaming the whole time he wanted to press charges. now i'm having visions of a court trial...omg i was embarrassed and so scared.
but the cops were great to me and very professional!! they wanted to make sure that i was okay, and wanted to know if i wanted to press charges. i didn't because i was feeling bad for the guy. the police must of gotten the facts from the 2 witnesses. as the one officer said, as far as he was concerned
justice was served! i was able to get out of there and go home. the next day i checked the paper and police blog and didn't see a thing.
nothing ever became of it and i have since been back to that bar many times.

i wish this never happened and if i knew what his intentions were, i would of left for sure. but if something like this ever happened again i now feel comfortable and confident
enough to call the cops.

[kimdl93]

Depends on the extentmofmthe assault.

[Eryn]

The rules I follow:

1. Stay away from dangerous places and people.
2. Stay away from the police.

Follow these and you are much more likely to have a pleasant day.

[Jodie_Lynn]

Wow. I am actually shocked at the number of responses stating they wouldn't report an incident. Really, I'm actually kind of disgusted by that attitude.

Just last week a young transwoman was beaten to death in NYC.

Let me stress that: BEATEN. TO. DEATH.

I wonder, if it were possible to ask her, which she would have preferred: the potential embarrassment of being 'outed', or her current condition.

Kind of makes me wonder what some of you would do if you WITNESSED a crime while en femme; not report it because you'd be embarrassed?

[SophieKitty]

I would report any assault on me. Don't know why anyone wouldn't!

[Chardonnay Merlot]

Yes, I would report it..But I have found that your best defense is a good offense.

1. Common Sense -- It something looks sketchy, don't be there. Well-lit areas, public areas, be there.

2. Gal Pals -- The best safety measure there is. Numbers are a deterrent that is 100% percent effective. The more numbers you have, the higher likelihood that an attack on the group will cause a seen and draw attention. A likely attacker HATES ATTENTION.

3. Tactical the area -- Be alert to the surroundings

4. Know your purse, use your purse -- What you have on you is a set of weapons if used right. Car keys, the blunt end of a makeup brush or a bottle of nail polish can be a means for you to escape.

I also carry chemical defense sprays such as tear gas. I've had to use it once, and it was very effective.

5. Confidence -- Move with a purpose. Know where you are going. If you look like you can take care of yourself and/or you can cause a major problem with an attacker, that likely attacker is going to weigh the option to go after somebody else.

I've found that having a confident bearing is a big factor in a club-type situation in deal with unwanted attention, and sometime that includes having the confidence sometimes to not play nice, if you will...be bitchy to someone who's attention who just isn't getting the hint to leave you alone.

[Eryn]

Let's ask more relevant questions:

For those who reported an assault, did your report result in any action? Was the assailant arrested? Convicted? Did your report result in any negative consequences for you?

I was hit by a hit-and-run driver while standing still at a traffic signal. I reported it and nothing was ever done despite the fact that I gave the offender's license plate number to the officers. It was apparently too much trouble for them to track down the offender for an offense that would net them only a small fine.

What the officers did do was question me about my actions, asking "Were you on your cell phone when you were hit?", an attempt to trap me into admitting an offense while I was still shaken up by the experience. This taught me a valuable lesson, that the police are not a victim's friends.

[mikiSJ]

Yes. The simple and ONLY answer.

[paulaprimo]

Kind of makes me wonder what some of you would do if you WITNESSED a crime while en femme; not report it because you'd be embarrassed?

wow! really?? if that was directed at me...i can't speak for everyone, but maybe i can in this case...it's a no brainer!!
i hope you are never assaulted, but if you were, i can assure you that you would much rather have me around than any cop!!

[Jodie_Lynn]

Paulaprimo, I WAS a cop, for 12 years in NYC.

The number of criminal assaults that go unreported ( for whatever reason the victim has) is, by its very nature, unknowable. My opinion, damn me for it if you will, is that by reporting a crime, you increase the likelihood of *that* particular criminal being caught and punished. And, by reporting it, you *may* be helping to build a stronger case against a particular creep. Judges tend to levy stiffer sentences if they know a defendant has a long list of crimes.

The system is by far from perfect, but it's the only one we have. Citizens can help to make it work, or help to clog it up.

[paulaprimo]

Paulaprimo, I WAS a cop, for 12 years in NYC.

only 12 years...lol i was on the job myself, but good ole abe did me and my precinct in!!

anyways, in your context now, i couldn't agree with you more!!
but the truth of the matter is that the reports wind up in the circular file unless a rape was
involved or was an assault against a child or senor citizen!
i can only speak for nyc, but how many days of work are missed only to see a guy walk. ny'ers are quick learners
and find that it isn't worth there time to report a crime. tell me that you never threw your arms up in utter frustration or pulled your hair out!
that damn revolving door in the city court system has to be replaced with an entrance only!! :)

[vanitysumers]

some guy tried to grab me.

he did not get that I was not a woman I pushed his hands down very violently.
I reported it in male mode. did not discuss that I was dressed as a girl.

I know it was sexual assault but I do not want to go to court to explain in detail what was going on and how long I have dressed like that.

[Druscilla Supernovae]

I would prolly go out for revenge. I was picked on in middle school and highschool so I don't take anything from anybody these days.

[Jodie_Lynn]

LOL of course I got frustrated, thats why I threw in the badge. That and the fact we had a brand new baby girl, and the wife worried about me. So I took a job with her brother-in-law, in a nice safe office- in the world trade center. go figure, right?

[paulaprimo]

OMG...please forgive me, and i don't mean to laugh, but how funny is that!!
just goes to prove, you're not safe any place!

my entire family worked in manhattan that day. me nephew also worked in the towers. his boss told him to come in at 11 as he was studying for his bar exam, how lucky was he as we know what happened at 10!

i pray that you weren't there...
you have my utmost respect and i salute you

[Leona]

Paulaprimo, I WAS a cop, for 12 years in NYC.

The number of criminal assaults that go unreported ( for whatever reason the victim has) is, by its very nature, unknowable. My opinion, damn me for it if you will, is that by reporting a crime, you increase the likelihood of *that* particular criminal being caught and punished. And, by reporting it, you *may* be helping to build a stronger case against a particular creep. Judges tend to levy stiffer sentences if they know a defendant has a long list of crimes.

The system is by far from perfect, but it's the only one we have. Citizens can help to make it work, or help to clog it up.

In Texas, your third misdemeanor (class A or B mixture, but doesn't include traffic tickets or other class C's) gets escalated to a felony automatically. The first few offense you can get off relatively easy, because they want you to learn a lesson and stop offending. Then they throw the BOOK at you. :)

[BOBBI G.]

I would almost have to. My training would take over, and the person would need medical attention of some kind. I carry a shoulder most everywhere, and also carry more than lipstick. This little flower has some sharp thorns.

Bobbi

[stephNE]

I would report it. All of those types people who commit violent crimes should be punished. I know that it really wouldn't change things, but I hope if we all do the right thing, eventually society will be better for everyone.

[Lexi_83]

Wow. I am actually shocked at the number of responses stating they wouldn't report an incident. Really, I'm actually kind of disgusted by that attitude.I would report also, but they say that one half of all violent crimes go unreported to police.


My biggest fear is driving and being stopped for ... minor traffic violation broken taillight, etc ... and getting thrown in jail ... wearing women's clothing./I've been stopped twice, once in a drunk driving road block and once for running a stop sign that I totally missed.

The state trooper could not really have been more polite other than asking "Is this your license" and they may ask that of everyone. Basically they want to get you to talk so they can see if you have been drinking. I had not.

When I ran the stop sign it was a local officer and he clearly did not approve of crossdressers, but he did not hassle me and in fact didn't give me a ticket. The chances of getting thrown in jail for a traffic violation are really small.

As far as jogging goes, I've jogged at night en femme in a few places I've lived and never had a problem other than jerks whistling or something. I carry a small pepper spray just in case. The only interactions I've really had have been with other joggers and they are usually faster or slower or I just turn in a new direction. Plain looking women do not get much attention: wear huge breast forms and a long blonde wig and I'm sure that would be different, and not a good idea.

[vanitysumers]

I do martial arts at a college and I can do some NASTY STUFF ON REFLEX.
I tend to not be as aggressive as I use to be because of that. I am more suttle with my aggression when needed.

there is an issue trying to fight a guy in 4.5 or 5 inch heels while having large dangling earings. I would not want to get my ear ripped like I see so many people.

[ArleneRaquel]

I would report it, no matter what the police officers or anyone else thinks. No matter how I dress I have the same rights as anyone else. Now we can't always be sure why someone would attack another. It might be that they are after money, cell phone, contents of purse or out of hatred/dislike of non-conventional people. I have been the victim of "muggings" three time, once enfemme. They were all many years ago. Once, circa 1992, I was really sure that I was done for as the 3-4 youths were about to kick the cr*p out of me, but a car was approaching and they headed for the hills. I reported it to the local police station, which was about 1-2 blocks away, this happened at about 1am, a llittle after, and it occured in the Far South Suburbs of Chicago. I could not get a good description of my asaulants, they knocked me down and I was very afraid. I had a similiar encounter twice on the North Side, near the so called "Boys Town Area", once enfemme, once not, both occured on a weekend well aftet midnight. The non-enfemme time the two mles get away with about $400-$500, after coming up be hind me, getting their hand around my throat, pulled my pockets inside out, and ran off.. The enfemme incident no money was taked but again I was knocked to the ground. At this stage of my life I live virtually 24/7 as a female and if attacked in would most likely be when I'm in that mode and YES I would report it. My next door neighbor is extremely homophobic.

[Jenny Gurl]

I would report it. You may even report it later after you have had a chance to change and remove makeup if that is the thing making your decision. Try describing the attacker and their vehicle. If asked why you delayed you are not the one on trial here, you can always say you pondered if you should report it and later decided it might save someone else. A license number would be must helpful if you could get it or a picture of their car with you phone. I was attacked in drab with my family once by a guy who seemed to be on drugs. He pulled a very large knife and was approaching our vehicle as we were getting in it with the doors open. I always regretted not reporting it at the time because I figure after I scared him off he probably found a more helpless victim later on. I had some very important business to attend to, and at the time what I scared him off with was not legal to carry in my state so the only one who would have went to jail would have been me. The laws have now changed and I am legal now. I still wonder if he later killed someone over a purse because he had blood in his eyes and a knife that reached passed his elbow that he carried handle down and blade partially concealed slightly past his elbow. All I know is that night we were not going to be the ones left for dead if it came down to it. Yes, these things should be reported.

[5150 Girl]

I supose it also defines how one defines "assult"
Some would say they were asulted if they got yelled at with strong/explicit language, or if somone just took took hold of their arm. This kind of stuff, blow off....
If someone shakes you, slaps, hits, throws somthing, and other physicl contact intended to inflict pain, then yes, report that.

[mikeb75]

Always report all crimes, There is no shame in being a victim, If someone was willing to assault someone there is a good chance they would again if not escalate to something worse.

[Diane Edwards]

I've only been assaulted once while dressed and I was with my GG friend Jo when it took place. The assault ended when both Jo and I pulled our firearms out of our purses and took aim. That ended the assault cold as the assailant fled. Jo took care of the report as she was a cop at the time, though not in that jurisdiction. (She really couldn't have gone in pursuit as she was dressed to the nines at the time and couldn't run very well in heels.) She told the responding officers that I had arrived after the attempted assault took place as that particular police department was not known as being understanding. (At least I didn't have to show ID because I was not a 'witness'. Back then I could pass with ease and did so on that occasion.)

Unfortunately the police never did catch the "alleged perpetrator".