Windy
09-07-2013, 05:12 PM
Not sure why I'm posting this, I guess it's half an attempt to vent and half a plea for advice :sad:
Most of the time it doesn't bother me that people think I'm weird or whatever, especially considering the kind of fluffy-looking hair I have now. I'm not a guy, I'm just in that weird not-yet-out stage of transitioning where I don't pass as a woman and don't try to present as one yet. Therefore, for all intentions and purposes, society still sees me as a man. Which is frustrating, because when it comes to haircuts I'm still feeling the "man box".
My hair is...VERY important to me. It's the one outward way I feel I've rebelled postively and, dare I say it, nicely, from both what my parents want, and what society demands I must have, as a person who still presents as male. Don't get me wrong, my hair DOES look dorky. Its frizzy and goes everywhere and eugh. In fact it looks so...big...sometimes that many days I hate it. But it also needs to go through this stage. I'd like cute, long, wavy, girly hair, but I won't get that if I cut my hair. And right now I'm in the inbetween stage where things are hard.
My parents suggest for my "interview" (lets just call it that so I dont get tired explaining it) next week that I need to a) cut my hair or b) tie it back firmly (VERY MUCH SUPPORT THE LATER). I get my parents want to protect me from being laughed at (they tell me to cut my hair at least once a day if I'm around them) though that's frustrating because if they understood how deeply important this was to me things'd be different. I've told my mum I'm trans, but she just says "this is the way the world works" if I try and tell her I don't want to cut my hair.
It's frustrating that society expects you to fit into two completely neat boxes: traditional male, or traditional female. Actually...even writing that out proves that isn't so. I don't want to play the "I have it worse than you!" game, but the simple fact is that men (and transwomen that don't pass/get read as their birth gender--me) have to fit into a much narrower space than women.
Most of the time it doesn't bother me that people think I'm weird or whatever, especially considering the kind of fluffy-looking hair I have now. I'm not a guy, I'm just in that weird not-yet-out stage of transitioning where I don't pass as a woman and don't try to present as one yet. Therefore, for all intentions and purposes, society still sees me as a man. Which is frustrating, because when it comes to haircuts I'm still feeling the "man box".
My hair is...VERY important to me. It's the one outward way I feel I've rebelled postively and, dare I say it, nicely, from both what my parents want, and what society demands I must have, as a person who still presents as male. Don't get me wrong, my hair DOES look dorky. Its frizzy and goes everywhere and eugh. In fact it looks so...big...sometimes that many days I hate it. But it also needs to go through this stage. I'd like cute, long, wavy, girly hair, but I won't get that if I cut my hair. And right now I'm in the inbetween stage where things are hard.
My parents suggest for my "interview" (lets just call it that so I dont get tired explaining it) next week that I need to a) cut my hair or b) tie it back firmly (VERY MUCH SUPPORT THE LATER). I get my parents want to protect me from being laughed at (they tell me to cut my hair at least once a day if I'm around them) though that's frustrating because if they understood how deeply important this was to me things'd be different. I've told my mum I'm trans, but she just says "this is the way the world works" if I try and tell her I don't want to cut my hair.
It's frustrating that society expects you to fit into two completely neat boxes: traditional male, or traditional female. Actually...even writing that out proves that isn't so. I don't want to play the "I have it worse than you!" game, but the simple fact is that men (and transwomen that don't pass/get read as their birth gender--me) have to fit into a much narrower space than women.