Why is it so calming?

[GinaD]

Having experienced so many different stages of crossdressing, from dressing nightly to sneak out of the house, to dressing occasionally as the mood stuck me, to going months between sessions, to dressing 24/7 for a few months, I am always amazed with the sense of calm I get when I can be Gina.

After spending four days straight as Gina over the long weekend, I had to go back to my drab life again until Friday. I came home from work, cleaned and shaved up then Gina came back. I had a night out with friends and although I feel great excitement when I first step out the door to see what will happen, I always feel this calming effect as the night goes on.

Saturday I got up early, shaved and put on some light makeup, mascara, and lip gloss and threw on some shorts and a t-shirt with one of my longer shag wigs. I hit the beach early and must have walked 4-5 miles on the beach. No one even seemed to notice as we all appeared absorbed in the natural beauty of the ocean. I came home and didn't have any apprehension about who might see me or stop to talk. The sense of peace has been with me the whole weekend, but is starting to fade as I prepare to go back to my drab world.

I wonder why I don't have the same sense of peace in guy mode?

[Eryn]

I think that part of it is that, while we are dressed, we are expected to act as GGs do. That means no aggressiveness and no need to be in charge. It also means that we're expected to take what comes along in stride and not to have to find a solution for every problem.

I also think that our strong focus on feminine things distracts us from the stresses of everyday life. Others report the same calming effect from other immersive activities.

[stephNE]

I agree, it is the same for me too. Relaxing and calming. After an evening as Steph, my SO says I am a happier for days. I'm probably nicer to be around too.

[suchacutie]

For me it's the reverse cause/effect. I make sure that life is taken care of and Tina is a part of the reward.

There other times that Tina will take care of some task that she does better than my male self.

Is it maybe that we protect our femme selves?

[Beverley Sims]

On Saturday you were enjoying the euphoria of being someone you weren't familiar with.
Familiarity breeds contempt.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Gina, It's the PINK FOG affect that's so calming .

[kimdl93]

I take this view on it. I doubt that by emulating women we put aside an aggressive nature for a moment. That would be a facade at best, and the inner turmoil would remain. It also presumes that males cannot feel at peace with themselves. And it reflects a rather unrealistic view of women...suggesting that women are all, by nature, placid, calm and restrained.

Instead, I would suggest that for many of us, dressing allows us a tactile, tangible physical way to bring our inner selves and our bodies into some measure of harmony. Or simply put, our outsides match our insides. That eliminates, at least dampens the turmoil associated with discord between body and spirit.

[nhlighthouse]

Gina ...IMHO I feel that when we are in guy mode the level of expectation is problaby set much higher then of a women mode. I don't want to sound sexist and by no means am I, but sometime the clothes that someone wears could dictate where you will fit in on the production line. Feathers, frills and silk won't get you on or in the dirty jobs category. Just my take on your question...Oh by the way I feel the same way when I dress. Two weeks ago I dressed with pantyhose and shorts while I was riding the lawn tractor and cutting the lawn...what a great feeling! and YES NO RUNS in the PH! Walmart George brand!
Hugs & Kisses Mykchelle

[JamieTG]

What happens when you have a strong compulsion and need to do something but for whatever reason you have to keep it bottled up inside for a period of time? Anxiety!! Anxiety builds up the longer you can't dress so thats why when you finally can, its so relaxing. I think its very common with all of us.

[nhlighthouse]

I fully agree with the aggressive issue!

I take this view on it. I doubt that by emulating women we put aside an aggressive nature for a moment. That would be a facade at best, and the inner turmoil would remain. It also presumes that males cannot feel at peace with themselves. And it reflects a rather unrealistic view of women...suggesting that women are all, by nature, placid, calm and restrained.

Instead, I would suggest that for many of us, dressing allows us a tactile, tangible physical way to bring our inner selves and our bodies into some measure of harmony. Or simply put, our outsides match our insides. That eliminates, at least dampens the turmoil associated with discord between body and spirit.

[EllenJo]

Great question and I wish I knew the answer. I would bottle it and make a fortune. My thoughts about this run along the lines of my competive nature as a male. I feel that I must be strong, provide for the family, and constantly solve problems. When I slip into a skirt I feel liberated from my traditional role and allowed to just be me. Maybe it has to do with my age (60) as I was raised very tradionally on a farm. My brothers and I worked outside with Dad and my sisters helped Mom in the house. When I am dressed and cleaning the kitchen while fixing a nice meal for my wife I am calm and very happy. I will let the others figure out why. I will just enjoy it and go with it.
Hugs
Ellen Jo

[SophieKitty]

Who knows, but people as the same questions about jumping out of planes or extreme sports! I'm fortunate enough to be blessed with a sense of calm when I'm in guy mode, but ONLY when I'm feeling like a guy, otherwise when I'm being secretive I have a very fidgety mood and I can't concentrate on anything but the desire to be dressed. Another reason i want to go public ASAP so I can get on with daily life without being distracted when I wake up as Sophie.

[Ceri Anne]

Love your story. I too find it peaceful and relaxing. I even will dress for a long drive to get to a customers, then change just before I get there. The drive is so much more enjoyable. I feel so comfortable when dressed.

[MelanieB]

.
Instead, I would suggest that for many of us, dressing allows us a tactile, tangible physical way to bring our inner selves and our bodies into some measure of harmony. Or simply put, our outsides match our insides. That eliminates, at least dampens the turmoil associated with discord between body and spirit.

Thanks for this paragraph Kim, to me it's the first time I've seen my own thoughts put into words like this.

I've been crossdressing since the age of 5 or so....I'm now 57....and have always known the feeling of completeness in my being when dressed.

I was born a boy, raised as a boy, behaved as a boy and man.....outwardly....but I was also born Melanie, raised by myself as Melanie and came through life as Melanie. The problem was that Melanie did not have a fair exposure. When I dress this uneven playing field is neutralised as if the clothing and external appareil act as a conduit for a two way osmosis of , as you say, body and spirit discord.

Thank you

[Sheren Kelly]

A part of it for me is that when I express my femme side, I can lay down the male image.
It takes energy to keep up the pretense that you are a "normal" guy. My femme time is my indulgence to act as I please.

[CONSUELO]

I feel the same way and I wonder if it is because when dressed I am acknowledging who I really am and not going through the daily stress of pretending to be something that I am not. All of this hiding and "faking" must be stressful.

[Frédérique]

Why is it so calming?

It’s calming to leave the male “sphere” on occasion. Beyond that, I don’t think too much about it…:daydreaming:

[Maria 60]

It's almost like your in another body that has no problems, but your male side has more everyday pressures.