Manly & Uber Manly jobs as Compensation

[Jodie_Lynn]

Something someone said in another thread about how "working a manly job would MAKE me more manly", started me thinking (yes, yes I know, dangerous but ...).

So here is my question: How many have taken jobs/careers that were considered to be the manliest, most macho jobs, in order to compensate, or suppress our more feminine identities? And, were you considered successful/good at your job?


In my case, I chose to become a member of a large metropolitan Police Force, and was assigned to a busy Precinct. I was good enough at my job to get promoted to Sergeant, and held that position for 2.5 years, until I resigned. The funny thing is, I hated and still do, confrontations.

[Tracii G]

I was a commercial truck driver for 40+ years and I guess that is a macho job.
I didn't do it to prove anything I liked it because I didn't have a boss breathing down my neck and I could do pretty much what I wanted up to a point.
Sure the company told you where to go and what product to pick up and deliver and when you had to be somewhere but the rest was up to me.

[Marcelle]

I have been in the military for 32 years and for the last 15 have been is with a "Special" group (very Alpha Male). Some will know what I mean.

Did not do it supress any feminine qualities or tendencies (who knows perhaps on some subconscious level I did) . . . Did it because I always wanted to be a soldier (for as long as I can remember). The group I work with now was my ultimate goal and the pinnacle of challenge for me (at least until now :battingeyelashes:)

Hugs

Isha

[Melissa in SE Tn]

I would love to hear, from all of you in the stereotyped macho jobs, how you are able to transition from hard ass to sweet ass, if cding has taken a toll on your jobs and how your splices came to grips with your feminism?

[Kate Simmons]

After the Army I worked what was considered mostly a male job in the beginning. After ERA however many women came into our work force and held the same positions for equal pay. I always admired them for that. Purposely seeking a job to prove I'm a "man"--No! No, especially since I'm retired I no longer have to prove anything to anyone, including myself. Never had a problem with confrontation though. In fact kind of enjoyed going to "the horse's mouth" to get things straight.:battingeyelashes::)

[Marcelle]

I would love to hear, from all of you in the stereotyped macho jobs, how you are able to transition from hard ass to sweet ass, if cding has taken a toll on your jobs and how your splices came to grips with your feminism?

Hi Melissa,

Never considered myself a "hard ass" just did what I had to do. Although my wife and several team members say I have a stare that would scare most demons back to hell when I get zoned out . . . so I guess that is about as hard ass as I get.

As far as "sweet ass", not sure. I am quite girly at home and my wife has commented on my "ass" in panties (for the good :o). I just find that by integrating the calm Isha provides in my life, my ability to focus at work is exceptional these days. Since exploring Isha at home and integrating her centering at work, it has been noted by several team mates that my "game is very tight these days" . . . Hmm wonder what they would say if I told them it is because I now spend a lot of time in sundresses an lingerie these days.

Not sure what you meant by "how your splices come to grips with your feminism"?

Hugs

Isha

[cyndigurl45]

Something someone said in another thread about how "working a manly job would MAKE me more manly", started me thinking (yes, yes I know, dangerous but ...).

So here is my question: How many have taken jobs/careers that were considered to be the manliest, most macho jobs, in order to compensate, or suppress our more feminine identities? And, were you considered successful/good at your job?


In my case, I chose to become a member of a large metropolitan Police Force, and was assigned to a busy Precinct. I was good enough at my job to get promoted to Sergeant, and held that position for 2.5 years, until I resigned. The funny thing is, I hated and still do, confrontations.Awww that was me :-) we measured our successes in no one on the team getting hurt and everyone going home at the end of the day, now some the bad guys we took down didn't count, most were hurt some didn't make it home but the team was good, and you know for awhile it worked, but when your core is female nothing can change that, all you can do is follow your heart and become the woman your supposed to be. I just wish I would have done it sooner

[Dianne S]

I studied engineering and work with computers because I like doing that, not particularly because it is a male-dominated field. (And computer science is much less male-dominated than EE was...)

[Beverley Sims]

I went the other way, I put on a dress and helped in a dress salon on Saturday mornings.
A successful exercise as we catered for the male clientele by appointment in the afternoon.
Men bought the dresses in the afternoon, the women usually tried them on and bought little by comparison. :)

[Jennaristow]

I was in the military for four years, now I work in the offshore oilfields as a hard hat commercial diver for the last 18 years
I would love to transition but worry about my age, what I would do to support myself as this is all I no and is very male dominated and very easy to be black balled out of the industry.

[Jodi]

27 years in the army, combat arms.

Jodi

[Emjay]

I work in a factory as a machinery mechanic, have for the last 17 years (omg.....17 years.....). And yes, it's a severely male dominated. I don't do it for the macho aspect of it or to compensate at all, I just happen to be good at it and it pays the bills.

For me, I find it hard to be in this environment. Usually I'm wishing I was somewhere else. Somewhere I can just be........ me.... I'm sort of lucky because I really do enjoy what I do, I enjoy problem solving. I enjoy taking broken things and making them work again, especially when no one else can. I just don't care for the environment that comes along with it.

[Leah Lynn]

It's quite common for transgendered to do that. Many will try to assimilate into society and lead a "normal" life, hoping to pass as a regular guy. Military service, then manly jobs. Sounds like my life history. I've run heavy equipment in a quarry and driven (and still driving) trucks. At the quarry I also drilled and placed dynamite. Same reason many get married; it really doesn't feel right, but it's what guys do, so we'll emulate them to fit in.

Eventually the shell cracks, assuming the macho/dangerous jobs haven't killed us.

This is documented in "True Selves Understanding Transsexualism", by Mildred L. Brown & Chloe Ann Rounsley.
Leah

[sometimes_miss]

Worked in trucking for a while, because while I wanted to be a physician, I didn't have the grade point average to get into med school. Got into management, but after losing several jobs to downsizing, I went back into the medical field because I knew there was always going to be work there. But; anything other than 'doctor' is considered a woman's profession, so now I'm stuck in what other guys label as a girl's job. I still make more money than any of them; but they still think it's a girl's job. They went so far as to get me a stripper for my birthday dressed up as a nurse, which would have been nice, except the comments were that now she and I could go to work together. I used to hear all the jokes about gay male nurses, but when I left my 'mans job' and started working in the hospital, I didn't hear them any more, but I know their opinions didn't change. So now I'm deeper in the closet than ever, just so I don't feed the stereotype and make it worse for anybody else.

[Beverley Sims]

Reading these replies I think most compensated by dressing and not the other way round.

[MadisonL]

I work in a power plant. I dont think its to suppress any desires, its just what Ive had a 'calling' to do. Im pretty good at what I do and I enjoy my work.
Edit: Bev yeah I can agree with that. It is a 100% male environment at work.

[Barbara Maria]

I was a molder in an outdated foundry for 13 years and a prison guard for 18,not to prove anything,just to make a living.I got by ok,but the only job I really consider myself good at is what I'm doing now,playing music.Unlike the first two jobs,where I had to hide my sensitive and feminine side at all cost,I find it to be an advantage in music.

[Sabrina133]

I was an army officer for 5 years before i got out. During that time, i was a tank platoon leaders, a scout platoon leader and a tank company executive officer. Thats fairly manly i think

[noeleena]

Hi,

Would you then think differently if one is a female & has worked in some of these as you say very manly jobs,

i would not pass as a manly man did not happen nore could it , some times women are downgraded because they are not as tough as men , im not so sure i know women who would out strip me in many situations & do far better,

I was In the Navy did my trades in the building sector heavy constuction, & bridge maintainance NZR railways, truck driveing as well as bus services, tractors worked heavy farm machines & gear .and repared them,Plus the fire dept , i know ....we do have a few women there as well they were very strong had to , to be able to carry another out or down a ladder,

i did not see any of those as only male or you had to be hard as nails i may have been strong yet i knew to use my brain .

so how would a female fair in all of that, well she did 46 years, & still does some, this female may have looked facial wise too masculine for her own good yet did . so maybe with out putting to fine a line on it i was percived wrong did not know any different just got on did what she knew how to was trained well to carry it out, okay not your normal female yet still not male,

I wonder had i said i was / am female how things would have gone then, 1964. today im in charge of 14 buildings for our Museum & can have some 15 men working under me seems to be not a problem .

I did not try to emulate men or be like them i was just myself, just not a pretty looking female thats all truth is im still not,
And to be honist i enjoyed what i did allmost all ,

When i was with the NZR railways we had over a 1000 men in our section because i was in overalls short hair...he he... oh yes i did have some then. & a cap on i was just if you like one of the boys i did my job, was never ? nd if i was different i passed okay.
looking back had they known,

as youv said ... those uber or manly male detail ... oh heck these guys were as youv said i would not have lasted 5 min's they were strong would have talked about us- ( female ). in thier langage as you know, though they were Train waggons maintaince we were Foreman of works a different section so i would have been okay.

I think as they would not ? my rank. though i did meet quite a few, thinking back it could have been a nightmare, i would not have given much thought about this, till your post,

...noeleena...

[mariehart]

I was in the army reserve for a few years. I was just interested in military matters but I was a poor soldier, not very macho. I was going to train as an NCO but I couldn't shout orders without getting embarrassed. I was a damm good shot though. There were no women in at that stage but later they were allowed to join. They weren't exactly macho either. Some were really pretty.

I wanted to be a military pilot, that was my real ambition, nothing to do with macho. I just wanted to fly. It was never going to happen anyway. I'm not their type. I tried very hard to become an airline pilot but that never happened either. Most female pilots are more macho than me.

In the end I got a job as a clerk in an office and stayed there 14 years. Effectively it was a woman's job, all the others like me were women. They even taught me to type which is handy really and I 'manned' the reception desk at times. I was one of the girls, not very macho at all. None of my other jobs could be called masculine. All could be male or female without distinction. I did ride a motorcycle for years but women do that as well and frankly it was fun. I still fly planes though and even get paid for it. So maybe there's a truth there.

[Lynn Marie]

All boys need to prove their manhood to the girls if they are to have any chance of finding a halfway suitable mate. It's got nothing to do with "girly tendencies", and everything to do with growing up. All creatures do this. It's the male right of passage.

[Sarah Beth]

I work in construction, but then I grew up doing that, along with other odd jobs around including farming and working for a newspaper. I have advanced degrees and enjoyed the academic atmosphere if some respects but it was just way to political for me (I ate to kiss butt to get by or get along). I worked in higher education for a number of years but you can't tenure anymore and salaries are not what they used to be. I also had family obligations that required me to move to an area where I just couldn't work in that field anymore. I always liked working with my hands so here I am, building things and hating the calouses.

[linda allen]

I think the best reason for taking a particular job is bay, benefits, and job security. Of course, it helps to prepare yourself for such a job. I wouldn't take a "manly" job in say, construction, when I could accept a better opportunity in a technical field.

When you reach my age and look back at your life, you will understand how important your choice of career and job was.

[Mollyanne]

Something someone said in another thread about how "working a manly job would MAKE me more manly", started me thinking (yes, yes I know, dangerous but ...).

So here is my question: How many have taken jobs/careers that were considered to be the manliest, most macho jobs, in order to compensate, or suppress our more feminine identities? And, were you considered successful/good at your job?


In my case, I chose to become a member of a large metropolitan Police Force, and was assigned to a busy Precinct. I was good enough at my job to get promoted to Sergeant, and held that position for 2.5 years, until I resigned. The funny thing is, I hated and still do, confrontations.

I CAN IDENTIFY WITH YOU ON THIS ONE, I TOO WAS A POLICE OFFICER, BUT IN NYC!! I WORKED MY WAY UP TO SOME OF THE MORE DANGEROUS ASSIGNMENTS I GUESS TO PROVE TO MYSELF THAT I WAS "AN ALPHA MALE". I CAME TO REALIZE THAT I WAS FOOLIN' MYSELF SO I RETIRED AND ACCEPTED THE FACT THAT I AM WHO I AM!!!! I LOVE BECOMING THE GIRL WHO LIVES INSIDE ME!!!!!!

Molly

[vikki2020]

I have kind of a "guy" job, but, it just kind of happened, as time went on. Now, I take care of different facilities, light maintenance. It does require me to do some "manly" work,sometimes. I find that if things gte kind of crazy, I kind of slip into guy mode, against my will. Hate when that happens,lol! Luckily, this is only a temporary condition!

[Richelle423]

USMC 4 years and now a butcher.Funny thing I just recalled is that one time I was at work a co-worker complained that it was too cold inside the meatroom and that he was glad he "undressed that day" so he felt warm!!! I remember him saying something about silk long johns. At that time I didn't know how underdressing was defined untill I joined the forum. I guess we are everywhere!!!!

[Tina_gm]

USAF for 4 years as a hospital med tech. Not one of the manly jobs in the service male female mix.... but the service. afterwords worked in a locked down VA psych hospital.... a lot of physical violence there. Then after a couple of other jobs, related, I have worked with the mentally handicapped for over 20 years now. Overall it is a more female dominated work.... but I seemed to find the hardest behavioral places to work, so it was on the manly side for this profession. Hence my name lol

[dandy]

I've worked some very manly jobs, and have a lot of very manly hobbies and present very masculine most of the time. I wouldn't say it's as compensation for my feminine side, though. However, I will say that I've masked some of my feminine desires with over-the-top manliness. For example, I always wanted pierced ears as a kid and a teenager because of all the pretty earrings my mom and my cousins would wear. My parents and family were always very conservative, though, and it just wasn't an option. So one night at college, I was out drinking with my "crew," and I bet my friends I could pierce my ear with a toothpick...and I did. Soon, both my ears were pierced and I had my little collection of earrings. The only way I was comfortable taking that leap, though, was to pretend it was some kind of crazy feat of superior testosterone.

[alice clair]

I started as an auto mechanic when I was around 12 and now I drive a towtruck and have been for 35 years. It had nothing to do with my need to crossdress and has had no effect on it either way.

[Samantha_Smile]

Im a staff nurse.
Go figure

[Angie G]

I've worked if a corrugated boxs. when I started it was bull work I started working there it was just to have a job.And hwve been there 42 years.:hugs:
Angie

[Sarah V]

As I have mentioned before with some other postings, let's just say I am sure I have way, way over-compensated in my professional vocational life as well as with some hobby avocational community volunteer things I enjoy doing quite a bit. Can't say much else now, but maybe once retired next year I will choose to expound on them if this topic comes up again, which I am sure it will. And yes I am considered very good at my job indeed, been doing it for 26 years now.

[Alice Torn]

I have been blue collar working poor all my life. Helped farmers bale hay, worked as a chemical coatings mixer at a toxic chemical factory, worked at a screw factory twice, but recessions caused layoofs both times, joined the Air Force to prove to my older brothers i was a man. I was a bed wetter when i joined! That did take courage, to risk being the barracks pantywaist bedwetter! Thankfully, through fear, and prayer, i never did it again for years. Worked as a gravedigger almost three yrs, using only hand shovels and picks, worked as a window washewr 26 yrs part or full time, secuity guard three yrs, caretaker for a quadriplegic man one yr. I do think it has been partly to prove i was a real man, and also to hide from my more fem side, although, i did not fully dress until i was in my 50's. I used to draw pictures of my dream lady. Now i dress to become her, occasionally.

[Jodie_Lynn]

Firstly, I want to thank everyone who responded to the thread. I'm not sure what I was looking for answer wise, so let me explain.

All my life, I've felt like the oddball; always the smallest boy int the group (until late adolescence); always the target of the other boys aggression; more comfortable with the girls; more empathetic and compassionate than the boys; more emotional than the boys; etc, etc.

I have spent my life wondering who and what I'm supposed to be, and am still searching for the answers. So, I try to find the common denominators of our little social world, hence the question about jobs. All the answers have been very generous, but this, by Dandy, is what I think I was looking for:


However, I will say that I've masked some of my feminine desires with over-the-top manliness. For example, I always wanted pierced ears as a kid and a teenager because of all the pretty earrings my mom and my cousins would wear. My parents and family were always very conservative, though, and it just wasn't an option. So one night at college, I was out drinking with my "crew," and I bet my friends I could pierce my ear with a toothpick...and I did. Soon, both my ears were pierced and I had my little collection of earrings. The only way I was comfortable taking that leap, though, was to pretend it was some kind of crazy feat of superior testosterone.

As I said, I'm still trying to find the 'why' of my personality, and desires. I guess I just didn't want to feel like I was the only one.

Thanks again for all your responses, and patience :)

[Marcia Blue]

During my teen age years, I had a vast number of jobs, mostly male dominated. I went to school and graduated with a Degree in Applied Sciences. Went to work as an automotive tech in 1979 and have been in that field ever since. I have worked second jobs when I needed to on occasion, they were in male dominated fields also. To compensate, possibly, I was a very thin, tall, effeminate male, in my younger years. The girls I knew and dated, all seemed to see my fem side to some degree.

[MssHyde]

I have always been mechanically inclined when tested I was about 98.7% when most of the guys were around 54- 67%
turning wrenches was a easy path for me, thats the route I went, until got into the electrical field. my job consists of both.

at one time I thought about being a hair dresser. (I love hair) I have worn many hat so to speak through out my life, but the skill set I was blessed with from birth, seems to be the path I take.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Jodie Lynn, I was in the heavy petroleum industry for 40yrs., I didn't need to prove any thing I just wanted to provide a good life for my family.

[Tara D. Rose]

How come there are MANLY jobs, but when we mention WOMANLY jobs, some people get offended?