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Jorja
09-12-2013, 01:42 PM
I know so many of you are struggling with mental part of your transitions. I am sure most of you cannot see light at the end of the tunnel yet and may think there is no end to that tunnel. I just want to ensure you there is and a very normal and fun life awaits you at the end of your journey, if you allow it.

I want to relay an event that just happened to me. I needed to stop by the local hardware store and pick up a few items for a little project I have going on. Now keep in mind that this is a small farming community and only a select few people here know of my past. They all believe what they see before them.

The store is set up like an old time store where there is a potbelly stove and this is where people gather to talk (shoot the sh!t). As I entered the store I could hear music playing. It was the ZZ Top song Legs. Well I pretended not to notice. Today as usual I am wearing a business suit w/skirt about knee length and 4” heels. I slowly strolled down the aisle toward where 6 guys were hanging out. They all were staring at me or should I say my legs. I played it up a bit just to see what the reaction would be. When I reached where they were I said, hello boys, lovely day isn’t it. One of the young guys said, thank you Miss Jorja, I got to go see my wife now and placed his hat over his crotch area as he got up and left. The others all laughed at him. I paid for my things and started out of the store. One of the guys said, hurry back Miss Jorja. As a matter of fact, can you come in again tomorrow? I replied, Tom, maybe if you were out working you wouldn’t be thinking those thoughts. I winked at him and turned and sashayed down the aisle toward the door, working it just a little bit. ;)

So you see, if you can adjust mentally as well as physically to your new life, You can have a fun and normal life at the end of your journey as the new you.

DeidraDee63
09-12-2013, 02:53 PM
Hi Jorja, Love the story, you go GIRL!!!! Thanks for sharing. Really, I always look forward to reading your comments, personally I find them informative, encouraging and very helpful, thank you..

Angela Campbell
09-12-2013, 03:04 PM
I know so many of you are struggling with mental part of your transitions. I am sure most of you cannot see light at the end of the tunnel yet and may think there is no end to that tunnel.

.

There's a tunnel?

Jorja
09-12-2013, 03:06 PM
well maybe an underground hidden cave then.

Angela Campbell
09-12-2013, 03:22 PM
ooohhhh I bet that underground cave is full of all kinds of creepy crawleys and eyes that glow and stare at you......and maybe even some slimy stuff. I'm gonna need a flashlight!

Marleena
09-12-2013, 03:30 PM
That's a cute story, Jorja! Thanks for sharing.:)

Leah Lynn
09-12-2013, 06:05 PM
If that's a "normal" day, I'd love to be around for an exceptional one!

Hugs,

Leah

steftoday
09-12-2013, 06:58 PM
Awesome story, Jorja. I can see that perfectly in my mind's eye... ;)

Angela Campbell
09-12-2013, 07:16 PM
I know that one day I hope to report a story like that.

melissaK
09-12-2013, 07:23 PM
I am so ready for normal (being perceived as me).

Jorja
09-12-2013, 07:53 PM
I know that one day I hope to report a story like that.

I am sure you will



I am so ready for normal (being perceived as me).

Remember, normal is a relative term. ;)



If that's a "normal" day, I'd love to be around for an exceptional one!

Hugs,

Leah


You must realize, I am what is called an extrovert. I could talk your grandmothers leg off at 100 yards. ;) It has never bothered me to talk to and or harass those that deserve it. Or maybe I just have a big mouth? Nah, can't be that. :)

Rogina B
09-12-2013, 08:04 PM
You have created such a great life for yourself! Glad you share some of it with us!

TeresaL
09-12-2013, 08:04 PM
You're having waaaay too much fun Jorja. :-)

Edit see Erin below.
The project to hide that body may be why she visited the hardware store. To get picks and shovels. She has a dark side, and takes the victims who flirt with her down to the dark and dreary dungeon. They then become her next victims. Yep, you really are on to something Nicole. And you are somewhere in Indiana too. Just like me. Yes, and we've cracked this cold case. Two Hoosier detectives, we are.

Nicole Erin
09-12-2013, 08:57 PM
Jorja, the guys were probably thinking, "Not too many MILFS out there actually wear sheer black hose these days" and were wondering if your nylon-clad legs felt as good as they looked.
OK so you never said you were wearing them but I am gonna pretend you were :D

Folks, the project she is working on is trying to hide a dead body. The clues are there - talking about a tunnel. That means a secret passage in the basement where she hides all her victims.

Jorja
09-12-2013, 09:37 PM
LOL.... if you only knew Nicole.:D:devil::heehee:

KellyJameson
09-12-2013, 09:44 PM
Sometimes the tunnel seems to resemble a brick wall so any confusion is understandable.

vikki2020
09-12-2013, 10:01 PM
Nice story, Jorja! Yeah--just another girl, out,and about,right? I get to spend a lot of my afternoons, running my errands, dressed--albeit much more casually than a nice business suit. I'm loving how routine it has become. No fussing on my part, and and being recognized in the stores--as vikki, with smiles,and hellos. The only bad thing is having to "change" back!

Jorja
09-12-2013, 10:39 PM
Let's get just a little serious here for just a moment. We have all types here from the newbie who has just made the discovery that they are TS to those of us that have gone all the way to womanhood. There are also those that, like Vikki says, have to change back at the end of the day.

The thing is to just enjoy every second that you get to be yourself. Yes, there are going to be some very hard and difficult times but they are not going to last forever. If you do not have a support network in place, that is what we are here for. Feel free to come lean on us. We will help as much as we can.

Some of us are extroverts and others are introverts. We all have our own way of dealing with our troubles. I will tell you this, If I can make it, you can do it too.

Anne Elizabeth
09-12-2013, 11:13 PM
ooohhhh I bet that underground cave is full of all kinds of

creepy crawleys and eyes that glow and stare at you......and maybe even some slimy stuff. I'm gonna need a flashlight!

That"s It, that is what I want a nice little cave with now creepy crawleys.

No seriously really that is a great story. I think that I myself get overwhelmed thinking about the long range future that It clouds my mind and perspective as to what I need to do today.

Jorja
09-13-2013, 12:25 AM
Forget about the future, Anne. I guarantee you it will be there when you get there. Live for today because I will guarantee you it will be gone before you know it and we can't do anything about yesterday.

Now, I am not saying do not make any long term plans but make those plans flexible. I am saying if you try to live for the future all the things you should have been doing today will be lost. You will never move forward.

emma5410
09-13-2013, 02:16 AM
I am almost 8 months into my RLE and it has been a real struggle. Work and family have been great. I have no hassle going about my daily life and seem to pass reasonably well but I have had a lot of psychological and emotional issues.
If I had read this a few months ago, when I had serious doubts that I could keep going, I would have said the tunnel was a dead end.
But I am making real progress now. It has been hard work but things are getting better and life is getting much easier. I can see a glimmer of light in the dark and I know I will make it to the other side.

Nigella
09-13-2013, 02:35 AM
This thread, IMHO, shows why RLE is essential prior to any irreversible procedure.

It also reminds me of an incident that happened just after going 24/7. I still had to use the male locker room and during a shift change one of the "lads" thought he would have a laugh at my expense. He shouted at the top of his voice "Get your t*ts out for the lads". I knew that if I backed down I would be a target for further abuse. Without further ado, I looked him in the eye and asked "which one do you want?". He did not expect this and tried to bluster his way out of the situation he found himself in.

I did not give him the opportunity to walk away, everyone was watching, I had to have the last word, show that I was not to be trifled with. I looked at him and said "left or right?" to which he responded "I was only joking" and tried to walk away. I did not let him, I reached into my top, removed one of my breast forms and offered it to him. His face was a picture, the atmosphere in the locker room was electric, but I had shown that I would not accept any abuse or be the butt of their amusement. Whilst I worked for that company there was never any further attempts to make me look foolish.

Anyway, once in RLE, think like a woman, react like a woman, but most of all forget how a man would deal with an issue, you are learning to live like a woman, be that woman.

Persephone
09-13-2013, 02:54 AM
You must realize, I am what is called an extrovert. I could talk your grandmothers leg off at 100 yards.

Love it!!! Even though your location reads "Ohio," your name is Jorja and that is the sort of comment that slides off of magnolia leaves slicker than scum off a Southern swamp.

We are some of the few people in the world who really appreciate "normal," who see the magic in every "ordinary" day. Guess it's because we've paid so much for it.

Hugs,
Persephone.

Jorja
09-13-2013, 11:34 AM
I am almost 8 months into my RLE and it has been a real struggle. Work and family have been great. I have no hassle going about my daily life and seem to pass reasonably well but I have had a lot of psychological and emotional issues.
If I had read this a few months ago, when I had serious doubts that I could keep going, I would have said the tunnel was a dead end.
But I am making real progress now. It has been hard work but things are getting better and life is getting much easier. I can see a glimmer of light in the dark and I know I will make it to the other side.

For many, that in between time seems to last forever. As you have found out things do improve. Understand though, once you come out of that tunnel a new person, there is still life to be lived. There will always be problems to be solved. But now at least you are figuring them out as a woman which introduces a whole new set of difficulties. Remember, we are here to lean on when things get hard for you.

emma5410
09-13-2013, 02:56 PM
Thanks Jorja. I know I am not out of the tunnel yet and that the normal problems of life will always be there but at least I will be living a genuine life. That is something I never thought possible for most of my life. Having gone full time I thought the worse of it was over. I really had no idea of the difficulties to come but many of them are now finally behind me. You and others on this board like Bad Tranny, Kaitlyn and Kathryn have already helped me immensely with your posts. I loved your story.

TeresaL
09-13-2013, 05:10 PM
The thing is to just enjoy every second that you get to be yourself. Yes, there are going to be some very hard and difficult times but they are not going to last forever. If you do not have a support network in place, that is what we are here for. Feel free to come lean on us. We will help as much as we can.


Thank you so much for that Jorja. Living an authentic life does indeed have hard and difficult times. I've had to make a stand and not be bullied into de transition several times. It won't happen again though. Life is too short to live a fictional life of what others want me to be, and not what my absolute core dictates I live.

You have recommended to enjoy every second we have to be ourself. That should indeed be full time. Anything less gyps us from living life as it should be.

Jorja
09-13-2013, 09:58 PM
You must understand that there are those in this world that for one reason or another cannot go full time. They would if they could but they have made the decision not to. We need to respect that decision and support them just as we would someone who decides to go full time. Being trans anything is a difficult life for all of us.

Barbara Ella
09-13-2013, 10:15 PM
Jorja, thanks so much for sharing, you extra-extrovert you. It is reassuring to see someone who is in the situation where they know who they are and can be real about it.

I totally support the application of this to those of us who are in whatever position in transition. Know who you are, where you are, and be real with it. Yes, easier said then done, that is for sure, but a goal none the less.

Barbara

TeresaL
09-14-2013, 09:43 AM
You must understand that there are those in this world that for one reason or another cannot go full time. They would if they could but they have made the decision not to. We need to respect that decision and support them just as we would someone who decides to go full time. Being trans anything is a difficult life for all of us.

Of course. I'm speaking of myself and of the situation and strain my SO had over me in the past. My goal is to be full time, but the desire to keep the love of my life required me to suppress. That is not exactly an authentic life and my will is to stand up for an opportunity to step out as my true self with honor and dignity. I'm not speaking of simply "going out," but of full freedom from those who have jeapordized that possibility. I just want to be me -- unchained.

Thanks for respecting and supporting those of us who, at present, are in that situation of not living our true selves. But my SO and I are getting close. Much closer than last year. I can see the flicker.

StephanieC
09-15-2013, 10:09 AM
Forget about the future, Anne. I guarantee you it will be there when you get there. Live for today because I will guarantee you it will be gone before you know it and we can't do anything about yesterday.

Now, I am not saying do not make any long term plans but make those plans flexible. I am saying if you try to live for the future all the things you should have been doing today will be lost. You will never move forward.

This really, really rings so clearly with me these days. I have spent most of my life either living for others or going with the flow. Until recently, "living each day" and even "doing what makes you happy" was never a goal...it was happenstance.

For me, this is one of the difficult concepts to handle. Thanks for these thoughts.

-stephani