a big question. an Ethical Dilemma?

[stephygirl]

I dunno, I some time browse Craigslist and find crossdressers, and transgendered post personal add for adult activities with other men.

Curious, I posted a picture of me dresssed, no face, and details. Now i did not want to do anything with a random guy on Craigslist, but i just wanted to see how many responses i would get. So, I posted it. Much to my surprise i got tons of emails. I read some of them, mainly the ones that don't lead with a picture of their privates.

I got an offer of a guy only a couple years older then myself, im in my twenties, he offered to buy me a wig, an outfit, and heels. If i would have intimate relations with him.

Now as a young crossdresser, a new wig, outfits, and heels are very expensive, and well i want to have a wig and an outfit to possibly be passable. Issue, i cannot afford much other then makeup. I am saving my pennies for more stuff, but My main question is would basically sell yourself if you were desperate for more feminine products.

Basically if you had the opportunity to peruse your goals would you put aside your morals to achieve it faster? and my answer is that i would rather take the long road.

[MissTee]

Slippery slope; danger ahead. I would NEVER hook up with anyone on Craigslist.

[Beverley Sims]

Stephy,
Do not prostitute yourself for anything.
Prostitutes per se are business people and do it for monetary gain.
You will gain more satisfaction by going it alone and acquiring the various accoutrements when you can afford them.
Enjoy life and do not go down the other path unless that is a desire for your self satisfaction.

[stephygirl]

well yeah lol. I mean i would never do it, but i considered it after the dude's offer. im just wondering if anybody else has.

[Dalva]

Basically if you had the opportunity to peruse your goals would you put aside your morals to achieve it faster? and my answer is that i would rather take the long road.

Simple answer: NO!

Sweetheart, I've been CDing for a long time and I have had a long standing fantasy of being intimate with another person while en femme. I know there are sites to go to that could make that a reality but, meh...uh uh.

Like you I was curious once and found a chat site that offered quick hook ups. The number of replies were astounding but in the end I decided to keep my integrity and decline everyone. I ventured out there and chose not to participate, even if it meant never fulfilling a life long fantasy.

Maybe, someday, I'll be lucky enough, but, as you say, I prefer to take the high road there.


I'm glad you chose not to accept. Beverly and MissTee speak wisdom.

[devida]

If you want to pursue this at all what you could do is is first to get some bona fides. A real name with a phone number or his place of work would do fine. Then meet the guy in a public place like a coffee bar with no sex on the menu for this first encounter, cos, after all, the guy may be a super creep who you couldn't have sex with under any conditions for any amount of money. Make sure a friend of yours knows when and where you are doing this. Call him or her before you go and after you get home.You can certainly tell the date that in those words or gentler. Then if he's pretty clearly not a serial killer or seems unlikely to beat you up you could have a date. I don't see any problem with him buying you gifts in the context of a relationship but as a straight up transaction? Why subject your mind to a possibly terrible and maybe shameful memory just to fill a craving? On the second or third date maybe you could have sex, if it looks like fun, and maybe after that he could buy you a present out of gratitude. Be safe! Talk out everything before you have sex and wear protection against stds. There's nothing wrong with being in a subordinate position in a power relationship, but you got to set the terms.

[Tracii G]

Never hook up with a guy that uses CL to get dates.
1 He must either be a loser or have ill intents.
2 He probably in his 50's and still lives at home with his Mother.
A very bad road to go down IMO. Think of all the TGirls that have been murdered or are missing.
Read up on trans remembrance events.The stories will make you think.

[Jodie_Lynn]

I got an offer of a guy only a couple years older then myself, im in my twenties, he offered to buy me a wig, an outfit, and heels. If i would have intimate relations with him.

You know, they have a name for people that accept payments in exchange for sex. Several names in fact.

If you're looking to experience sex as a woman, then do so, but are you really willing to ***** yourself out for it?

[Teddie]

Hmmm. Craigslist. Reminds of the two or three guys that answered a Craigslist's ad in Ohio for a job, and died. Nope. No Craigslist for me.

[heatherdress]

No. No. No. Nothing good should be expected from CL daters who offer bribes for dates. Even if you do not experience violence or perversion, you will most likely hook up with a loser. Get off CL. Don't try to fool yourself. You can get cheap wigs on EBay. Cheap heels on line. Cheap clothes at Goodwill. Don't be a loser. Get off CL unless you are looking for an old bike.

[Michelle.M]

. . . he offered to buy me a wig, an outfit, and heels.

Excellent!


If i would have intimate relations with him.

Oh.

I don't want to get all moral up in here, but there's a name for sex for compensation. You don't wanna do that

It's one thing if you have a relationship, even FWB, and your friend is helping you out. But this is clearly quid pro quo.

So I guess the real question is this - can you do this and still feel good about that choice in the morning?

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Stephy, ((Craigslist)) Be careful what you wish for!!

[Kalista Jameson]

Hi,

My personal take is that if you sell yourself in order to gain somewhere else, you will never fully be able to enjoy that pleasure without pain associated with it and thus ruining or tarnishing the thing you love. There are no good shortcuts to success and fulfilment in life and trading your body is about as far off the chart as you can go. I wouldn't even give it a first, nor a second thought.

Also, good advice from others on the Craigslist idea.

Cheers,

Kalista

[nethiker55]

These 2 things just seem to get caught up together. I also have looked at CL and while lots of girls have pay for play fantasies it is never a good idea. You would do better to get to know your suitor at least a little bit then if the chemistry is there.....
Maybe he would help you financially with out strings attached?
I am glad you chose not to take the short road you will get where you want to be and be happier for it.

[Alice Torn]

I have put many personal ads on CL, over four or five years, and only met three guys, after much emailing. They were all gentle, and it went ok, as i set my boundries, on what i would not do. There have been many, many replies to my ads, and almost all get deleted after i find, they don't respect my boundries. So, i guess i have met about 1% of them. Please do not get involved with this fellow, unless you email a long time, maybe meet at a public place for coffee, or something, and talk a lot. He may be just another CONTROLLER, manipulator, loser, sex addict. I say be very very cautious, on any site, and that includes women looking to use a cd, or guy. They come in all genders and sexes. I must practice what i preach, here! I would love to model and dance for an unmarried gentleman, but have him respect my moral boundries. Be cautious, and screen these guys with a fine tooth comb.

[Lynn Marie]

Maybe I'm a "prude", I'd rather think "prudent". I simply don't do "casual sex" with anyone, ever. Especially in this day and age with all the STDs, nasty perverts, and even a few serial killers out there. I'm a little older, and if I had it to do all over again, I'd have learned "people skills" in my youth rather than later in life. Appreciation, encouraging, and loving others is the key to social success. With these kinds of skills, everything else in your life will just fall in place.

[kimdl93]

That is a ridiculous suggestion.anyone proposing is a creep. All the more reason to avoid Craigslist

[robindee36]

Stephy, you need to consider the debate in some recent threads about safety and security. Meeting on line is one thing, Craigslist another. Both are fraught with intrigue and danger. I would confine my meetings to public venues and seldom accept any on line proposals. People are seldom what they describe themselves as on line. Photos are not representative of what they really look like. Just check out the many profile and avatar pics here if you doubt this.

On the other aspect of your dilemma, is it a question of morals or integrity? Sounds like you propose to sell your body, whether for cash or clothing, and this is quite illegal. I believe the correct term is prostitution. This kind of behavior severely damages the repute of our community, IMHO.

I'm sure this is not your intent, just sounds as if it is being framed that way.

You must live with your conscience so think it through.

Hugs, Robin

[Kate Simmons]

Just be careful my friend. Playing with "fire" can get you "burnt". :)

[linda allen]

Slippery slope; danger ahead. I would NEVER hook up with anyone on Craigslist.

Good advice. I don't even look there to buy or sell things. Too many bad stories.