Undecided About Telling

[Leah Lynn]

Tomorrow my mother and sister are coming over to visit. As mothers usually have a clue, and I did wear my sister's clothes as a kid, I'm sure they're aware that something has been going on over the years. A strange incident happened a couple weeks ago, when they took me to the hospital for the angiogram. My mom has ALWAYS harped at me to get a haircut. This trip, she said that she liked the way my hair was fixed, with the curl/flip in back. (It's natural.) No harping. Mom knows that I dressed the past two Halloweens, and thought it was neat, or so she said.

I'll have coffee ready when they arrive, so, I'm trying to decide if I should tell them the truth about yesterday's doctor appointment, ie Psych Eval, and why I needed it. I want to come out to them, but not 100% sure I'm ready to. If, and that's a huge if, I can muster the courage to do so, I will.

Amazing how a guy can leap from a Huey, into a hail of bullets, and think nothing of it, but telling something this important to the two people that have always been there for him, that have always shown total love for him, scares the s#!t out of him. Her. It'll be him doing the telling. If I can.

Scaredy Cat,

Leah

[Angela Campbell]

Well if you are going to begin HRT then they will have to know sooner or later. Now is as good a time as any.

[melissaK]

I'd favor telling them if you think they'll be ok with it. Being out to my adult kids and getting acceptance as who I really am was the most wonderful feeling in my life. I began to feel real - if that makes any sense. Wives are a different set of rules.

[Barbara Ella]

Leah, leaping into the hail of bullets, and you know the results if you are hit. Leaping in front of loved ones, and you have no idea of what will happen, and that uncertainty can be tremendously more frightening.

Be totally prepared to tell them. If it feels right at the time, you will know it, and you will proceed accordingly. No one else can tell you if it is right or wrong.

When in doubt, opt for honesty. It can hurt like a bitch for a while, but you will feel so much better about yourself. Just don't lie to them.

Barbara

[Jorja]

Leah, do you want your mother and sister to know? I am sure you are tired of hiding it from them but only you know your family dynamics. Only you can make that decision.

[Nicole Erin]

Count on their reaction being the same as it always is with any type of news. The normal questions might be mixed in but overall - same reaction as to everything.

[Emma Beth]

What every one has said is very sound advice.

I came out to my niece a couple of months ago and it felt like a weight had lifted off my life and shoulders to have someone in my family to talk to about these things. She has been very helpful in getting me to think about things that had never crossed my mind about all this.

It has also brought the two of us closer together in a very short period of time.

Now, don't get me wrong; everyone's situation is different. Just trust your instinct and know that regardless of what happens, you will feel better for it.

Love and Hugs,
Liz

[Shapeshiffter]

If you are starting HRT than coming out to people is something you must get used to. The relief no matter the outcome is immense. I have been full time for almost 2 years now and have an old friend coming over today who has no idea. I have no idea how he will react. Should be fun. Good Luck with your Mother and Sister.

[Leah Lynn]

I've thought about this all night and I'm going to tell them. I think they will take it in stride. Hopefully.

Thanks for the encouragement. It has to be done; I can't hide for the rest of my life.

Hugs,
Leah

[Lorileah]

Sending good vibes. One thing I have noticed with people around me recently is how many have "jumped or of a Huey". I wonder how many here have done that and is it a coping mechanism?

[kimdl93]

I've thought about this all night and I'm going to tell them. I think they will take it in stride. Hopefully.

Thanks for the encouragement. It has to be done; I can't hide for the rest of my life.

Hugs,
Leah

Now that you've made your decision, please don't second-guess yourself ...regardless of the responses (which themselves may evolve over time). Run it it and don't look back.

[Marcia Blue]

Best of Luck Leah. Let me know how it goes.
Hope to see you in the near future.

[Leah Lynn]

I survived! My sister was totally accepting, but Mom has to think about this for a while. I'm sure it's a lot for her to digest; macho son wants to be a woman. She still loves me, anyway.

I gave my sister a copy of "True Selves" to read and help Mom understand what I've been living through all these years. It's almost my biography, except I was never interested in sex with males. They both laughed when I explained this and said my woman within must be a lesbian.

That's a major weight off my shoulders, and I feel much closer to freedom. Thanks for the encouragement to do the right thing.

Hugs,
Leah

[vallerie lacy]

Leah don't ever doubt a mothers love and understanding.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

I'm really happy for you Leah.

It's an amazing feeling you must have right now.

In the next period of time remember that some of that burden you let go of is now with your mom and sis..

be confident and strong...regardless of their level of support, they want to see you thrive and do what's best for you and one way to get even more support is to demonstrate how this is good for you(despite all the obvious issues you'll go through!)

all the best!!

[Kimberly Kael]

It's especially tough on parents but hopefully she gets used to the idea with time. Although my own mother has been wonderfully supportive she still had trouble with my assertion that she'd had a daughter all along, she just didn't know about it. Eventually I explained that when gay and lesbian people came out, nobody referred to the past as "back when you were straight." Likewise, there's really no point in hanging on to a disjoint history for me.

[Tami Joy]

The sooner you tell them the better you will feel.

[Angela Campbell]

It is a huge weight lifted when you can be yourself finally around the ones you love. And it is true, nothing can change a Mothers love.

[Marcia Blue]

Glad things went well. Family is not a choice, it is great yours are understanding.

[Leah Lynn]

It is a relief to have it out. Again, thank you all!

Hugs,

Leah